Chapter 19 Amadeo
NINETEEN
amadeo
“What’s up, cousin?” Brogan sits in one of the armchairs with their knees pulled up to their chest.
“I need your help and a promise you won’t tease me.”
“Tease you?” They raise an eyebrow and grin. “Why would I do that?”
“Because of what I need your help with.” I glance over my shoulder to make sure we’re still out of earshot and that no one has wandered from the dining room to the living room. “I need to know how to edge someone.”
Brogan looks shocked and clutches nonexistent pearls. “What? You heathen.”
“I’m serious. Do you know or don’t you?”
“Well, of course I know, silly boy. You’re doing the edging?”
I nod, chewing my bottom lip. “Balt said he’s never done it before but he’s intrigued. I want to make it good for him. I’ve watched a few videos, but those aren’t step by step. Where do I start?”
“I got you. You need three things: a cock ring, a prostate vibrator, and a safeword.”
“A safeword? I’m not torturing the guy.”
“Isn’t that what edging is?” Brogan rubs their hands together. “The answer is yes. You need a word to differentiate between good begging and a serious need to stop.”
“Okay. Got it. What is the cock ring for?”
“You’ve never used one?”
I shake my head, glancing behind us again.
“You put it on him before he’s all the way hard.” Brogan is nearly whispering now, which I appreciate. “It’ll keep him harder longer so you can delay when he comes.”
That sounds amazing. “Go on.”
“I’m a fan of a good prostate vibrator because then you can do several things to him at once.”
“For example?”
“For example, you could fuck his mouth or ride him while the vibrator drives him crazy.”
My cock swells as my body heats. Definitely hot.
“The most important thing is to pay attention to him so you know when he’s close. Then you pull back right before he goes over. If you’re fucking him, you stop. Vibrator, pull it out. Whatever you’re doing, you take away the intensity until he’s a whimpering mess begging you to let him come.”
“You sound like you have some experience with this.”
“You asked me for a reason, didn’t you?”
“Because you’re more worldly than I am.” I lean in closer. “You’ve done it before?”
“Lots of times. God, I love a needy man.”
I run through Brogan’s tips in my head. “I can order that stuff online, right?”
“Yep.” Brogan grins. “So, you really like him, huh?”
I nod in spite of myself. “He’s pretty great.” I kind of want to admit the charade to Brogan, but that’s too risky. I hate lying to my family, but at this point, we’re so deep, we need to keep it going.
“Is he the one?”
Forcing a smile to my face, I shrug. “Only time will tell.”
“I guess so. It’s low-key weird that you’re being so nonchalant about him when he’s the first man you’ve ever brought to meet the fam.”
“It was just because of the circumstances, not because we were taking the next big step.”
Brogan nods, studying my face. “If you say so.”
“I say so.”
“You’re funny.” They drag a hand through their messy locks. “Cute.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That you think spending a few years away from home would change my ability to see right through you.”
Does Brogan somehow know I’m hiding the full story? “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You like him,” Brogan teases. “Like him, like him. Maybe even another L word.”
“No. It’s not that serious.”
“Oh, it’s not?” They give me an “okay, sure” look, nodding and pursing their lips. “My mistake. I guess those googly eyes whenever you look at him are a figment of my imagination.”
“I don’t have googly eyes.”
Do I? Does Balt notice? The last thing I should do is catch feelings for him in a situation where the outcome is known. That’s what makes this fun. We can go all in, knowing there’s no risk of broken hearts at the end of it.
“Balt is… wonderful. He’s kind, and of course he’s been a huge help.”
“And?”
“And we’re both on the same page with where this relationship is going. It’s casual. He has his own life and I have this now. Besides, he’s a Taurus.”
Brogan gasps. “A Taurus? I don’t believe you.”
“Well, he is. Long term, it won’t work.”
“I guess if you base your entire relationship on zodiac rhetoric…”
“There’s truth in them.”
“There’s truth in a lot of things, but that doesn’t make it universal. Listen, Deo, I know you like to stay as emotionally detached as possible, but you’re different around Balt. I think he’s getting to you, and you should let him.”
“I’m not emotionally detached.”
Brogan simply raises an eyebrow, and we both end up cackling.
“Maybe a little,” I concede. “But really, Balt and I have talked about this. It’s not serious. We’re just having fun, and he happens to have the skill set to help the business while he’s here.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself. Give me your phone.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I pull it from my back pocket and hand it over after unlocking the screen. Brogan types for a few seconds, then hands it back.
“That’s the best website to order stuff from, and it comes in super discreet packaging with a generic company name on it.”
My eyes roam over the sex toys on the front page. “Thanks.”
“My pleasure. Happy to help another sexual deviant.”
I chuckle. “Shut up.”
While we laugh and shove each other’s arms, Balt appears in the room doorway, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest and a smile on his face.
My laughter dies down and I pop to my feet and straighten my shirt. “We were just goofing around.”
“It’s nice to see you having fun. You’re gorgeous when you smile.”
“Suh-woon,” Brogan coos. “You are so dreamy, Balt. Deo deserves a guy like you.”
“Brogan,” I complain, but they just kiss my cheek and wave on their way back to the dining room.
“Everything okay?” Balt asks.
I nod, walking over to him and dragging my hands over his pec muscles. “Very good. I just needed some intel that I knew Brogan would have.” I brush my lips against the edge of his jaw, enjoying the softness of his beard. “But don’t ask me what. It’s a surprise for you. I think you’ll like it.”
“If it has anything to do with you, I’m sure I will.”
“Charmer.” I glance behind me. “Everything wrapping up?”
Balt nods. “I offered to help clean the kitchen, but Nonna shooed me away. Your mom said we’ve been working hard so we can relax tonight.”
“How about I say goodbye, then we head back home for that bath?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
After quick hugs and thank-yous, Balt helps me into my coat and then puts his on, and we begin the cold walk back to the cottage.
“Moving into the main house feels weird to me. When my folks moved in, they had three little kids so they needed the space. It’ll just be me there.”
“For now. Eventually you may fill it up too.”
I look at him like he just turned green. “I’m not having kids. I’m not even sure I want to get married. It just seems like a hassle, but at the same time I feel guilty about it.”
“Guilty about marriage?”
I nod, tugging the collar of my coat closer around my neck. “Because it wasn’t always possible. It feels wrong sometimes to not do it when it’s something that had to be worked for.”
“Hey.” Balt stops walking and turns to face me. “You have to let that go. It’s wonderful that the option is available, but it’s no more required than it is for straight people to get married. If it’s not important to you, that’s okay.”
“Do you want to get married?”
“Are you proposing?” He grins before turning back to face forward and continuing our walk. “I’ve never thought about it. I guess I figured I’d cross that bridge if I ever got to it, and so far I haven’t.”
“I don’t see the point. You can have a fulfilling, committed relationship without involving the government.”
Balt chuckles. “I agree.”
“Brogan says it’s because I have commitment issues, but I don’t think that’s it. I can’t see the benefit of marriage other than maybe there’s some tax write-offs, but that seems like a bad reason to marry.”
“Do you have commitment issues?”
I open my mouth to deny it, to protect myself, but the words won’t come, so I simply shrug in response.
“It’s okay if you do. We all have our hang-ups when it comes to love.”
“What are yours then?”
He’s quiet for a while, and the only sound is our shoes crunching the fallen snow. Balt glances over at me and smiles softly.
“I think love is a wonderful thing and finding someone I want to be with forever sounds amazing.”
I nod, saying nothing to give him space to continue.
“But I’m fucking scared, Deo. Scared to lose someone I love again. I lost my parents, and in a way, I lost my sister. I’m afraid to finally give my heart to someone, only to lose them in one way or another.”
That’s pretty heavy.
“Sorry. Did I make it weird?”
“No. Not at all.” I grab his hand. “Thank you for telling me.”
“You’re easy to talk to.” He lifts our clasped hands and kisses the back of mine. “You’re easy to spend time with too. I think when the time comes, it’s going to be hard to leave.”
I chew on my bottom lip, mumbling, “Yeah.”
“So let’s make the best of it, huh? We’re together now.”
“Right.” I force a smile to my face. “Live in the moment.”
“It’s all we have.” He pulls me close until our chests are pressed together.
Our breath puffs in little clouds between us, but as Balt gazes down at me, I can no longer feel the cold. I wait for him to say something, but instead, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips, unhurried and full of tenderness.
“Let’s get inside and warm up, huh?”
“Yeah.” Before he can get too far, I rise on my toes and kiss him again. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“So am I, sweetheart. So am I.”