Chapter 4 Roman #2
What did she know? She didn’t know shit about me or my marriage.
She didn’t know shit about taking care of kids either.
She didn’t have kids of her own, and as far as I knew, she’d never watched anyone else’s.
I couldn’t exactly figure out why she’d even apply for the job in the first place.
Did she really need a job, or was she trying to get me to let my guard down so her mom could get custody of my daughter by saying that I wasn’t a good father?
I removed my mother-in-law from our lives long ago when I overheard her trying to talk her husband into warming me up to the idea of letting Sophia live with them while I adjusted to the loss of Chloe.
It was at the damn funeral. She wanted to take my daughter away from me then, and I knew that she hadn’t given up on that idea.
My wife had already been taken from me. There was no way in hell I’d let someone come in and take my child, too.
I stood and moved across the room to pour myself another drink. I filled the glass, and just as I was setting the bottle down, I heard a giggle from down the hall. I took a few steps to the door and pushed it open just enough to see out.
Sophia was running around and playing with her temporary nanny, Meredith, a woman who ran the in-office daycare.
Sophia was running circles around Meredith, blonde curls bouncing as she giggled away.
I watched as her white, cotton dress moved around her.
The sun hit her blue eyes, and it lit them up, stealing the air from my lungs.
She looked so much like her mother that it was literally painful for me to watch her.
Meredith lunged toward her, picking her up and twirling her. Sophia laughed and giggled.
Tears stung my eyes as that stabbing sensation was brought back to my chest, and I let the door close as I moved to my desk. I’d only had one drink from my glass when my office door was being flung open with Monica rushing toward me like a raging bull.
“Are you fucking serious?”
“What?” I took a sip.
“You know what. You told me to hire someone, and then when I do, you go behind my back and tell her to get the fuck out of your house? Are you serious?”
“It’s my house. I have final say,” I reminded her.
She nodded. “You’re right. You do. But that’s it. That was the last woman who was stupid enough to agree to work for you. She’s gone, and you’re left with nobody. What’s the plan now, because it sure as hell won’t be me.” She crossed her arms over her chest as she glared at me.
“Fine, then I’ll keep paying the daycare crew at work to stay with her.”
Monica rolled her eyes. “How long do you think they’ll be willing to do that, Roman? Those women have full-time jobs already. They don’t want to miss out on their own lives, their own kids to raise yours.”
“Just leave it to me, alright? I’ll figure it out.”
She shook her head. “You sure as shit better hope so.” She turned to leave, but then thought better of it.
“If you’re not careful, you’re going to push everyone away, and you’ll be left as alone as you think you are already.
That word will take on a whole new meaning.
” She turned and walked out, not even bothering to close the door behind her because she knew that pissed me off more than slamming it.
My hand tightened on the glass as I brought it back to my lips.
I had no idea what was going on with the women in my life.
There must have been something in the water that made all their periods sync up or something.
Everyone was PMS’ing, and I was the main target.
I wondered if they had a name for the game they were playing.
Fuck Roman Up the Ass as Hard as Fucking Possible, maybe?
Let’s Make Sure He Doesn’t Get One Minute of Silence was a good name.
Or maybe it was Let’s See How Far We Can Push Him Before He Snaps and Fires Us All.
The problem was that both of those women were right.
I’d alienated myself from everyone, friends, family, and staff, once I lost my wife.
Slowly, I watched every single one of them give up on me and walk out of my life.
I couldn’t blame them. I pushed them past their breaking point.
But like both women had just said, eventually, I’d be left with no one.
And then what? I guess no one but my daughter, who didn’t even know me as anyone other than the man who lived in the same house, who every staff member tried to avoid.
I guess I could always give her to her grandmother.
Even if it sounded like the best option for Sophia, I couldn’t stand to see her go.
To not hear her giggles echoing through the halls.
To not wake up to the sound of her cartoons playing in the living room.
To never see those sparkling blue eyes and bright smiles, even if I do only see them in passing.
I was a selfish man. There was no way I could ever let her go. She was the only one I had left.
But fuck…
I had no answers, so I drank again.