Chapter 12 Roman
TWELVE
ROMAN
Iwas sitting behind my desk at work when my cell phone rang. I leaned to my left and pulled it from my pocket. My eyes stayed on my computer screen, reading over the latest email I’d received.
“Hello,” I answered, not bothering to check the caller ID. I knew if someone was calling my cell phone, it was a personal call.
“Hey, baby. I haven’t heard from you in a while.
Thought I’d call since I was back in town for the week,” Anna said, her voice instantly recognizable.
She was the first woman I fucked after Chloe’s passing—once I realized that part of my body didn’t die with her.
Anna and I had a good time together. I enjoyed her company and her body until she became like any other woman by getting clingy.
“How have you been, Anna?” I leaned back in my chair, getting comfortable.
“Good, as always. And yourself?”
“I’m still here,” I told her. “Where have you been this time?”
“I just got back from Aspen. I was there for about three months while designing a new ski resort. You should see it. I bet even you’d love it there.”
I chuckled. “I doubt it. You know how I am. I don’t like—”
“Yeah, yeah. I know. You don’t like anything fun,” she said, cutting me off.
I laughed. She did know me. Well, more than anyone else had, other than my wife.
“So, do you want to meet up? I won’t be in town long, you know. My next job is taking me to a lakefront resort in Michigan.”
I glanced at the time at the top of my computer screen.
It was nearing the end of the day, but I still had more than enough work to do.
“Not unless you want to come check out my office. I’m afraid I’ll be working late tonight.
” My cock throbbed from thinking of bending her over my desk, but I pushed the thoughts away before I got all worked up over nothing.
She gasped playfully. “Geez, Roman. Won’t even buy a girl dinner first?”
I rolled my eyes. Anna was always one to make me work for it.
She’s the reason I started treating emptying my balls like it was any other transaction.
With her, dinner was required, dancing, flowers, wine, and candy—the works.
To me, that wasn’t about hooking up. That was about dating, and I didn’t have any intentions of dating ever again.
I believed that every person got one, and I’d already had mine.
“I don’t have time. I’m stuck in the office until I get this stack of work done.”
“Well, what about after? I can come by your house.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, no,” I said in a much cooler tone. “My daughter is there, and I just hired a new nanny who’s still trying to learn the ropes.”
“Alright, fine. Any certain time you want me to drop by then?”
“Get here before four, otherwise you’ll be locked out.”
“Can do.”
“Oh, Anna?”
“Yes, Roman?”
“Wear that thing I like.” My dick came alive just from thinking about that little black set.
“I remember exactly what you like. Don’t worry.” She giggled. “See you soon.”
I hung up the phone and slid it back into my pocket.
Leaning back in my chair, I couldn’t help but feel slightly excited about my meeting with Anna.
Having her come to me meant that I wouldn’t need to go out searching later in the week.
I wouldn’t have to worry about paying my last resort either.
It was too bad that Anna was out of town so much because I could get used to free sex coming to me whenever I was in the mood.
I glanced toward the computer screen, but I caught sight of the framed photo instead. That picture of my wife was judging me again.
“Oh, come on,” I said, grabbing it. My eyes met hers.
“I’m not breaking my vows,” I said to the picture, but mostly to remind myself as the guilt started to eat at me.
I opened my desk drawer and stuck the photo inside so I wouldn’t have to look at my wife’s face while fucking another woman on my desk.
Annoyed with myself and my human needs, I pushed everything away as I dug back into my work.
Every time I gave myself a moment, my head always went back to Sophia or Sasha.
I wondered if Sasha was doing everything right, if Sophia was okay at school.
I wondered what Sasha was doing while Sophia was in school and what she planned to cook for dinner.
I thought about my situation and how I wouldn’t be going through any of it if my wife hadn’t been taken away.
That led me to anger, and then I found myself with a drink in my hand.
Alcohol took the edge off of anything too sharp to handle.
The pain of losing my wife, alcohol. Knowing that I was fucking up my daughter, alcohol.
Too much stress from work, alcohol. Too many things on my to-do list, alcohol. Too much alcohol, more alcohol.
My secretary called my phone, pulling me from my head once again.
“Yeah?” I answered.
“I have Ms. Anna Kane here. She doesn’t have an appointment, but she says she just talked to you.”
“Yes, send her in.” I hung up and went back to finish the last of the email I was typing.
My door opened, and Anna walked in, looking as good as I remembered her looking.
Her blonde hair was long, curled, and professionally highlighted—the perfect combination of golden strands with darker roots.
Her blue eyes were lined with thick black liner and long lashes she probably paid a small fortune to have put on.
She removed her coat as she came walking toward me. She had on a black dress, the type that opened down the front, held closed with a sash. She untied the bow, and the dress opened, revealing the black number I was so fond of.
Her tits were decent in size. They were pushed up high by the lace bra; the cups were see-through just enough to be teasing.
She wore black hose that came to her thighs.
She didn’t have any panties on, but she was wearing the belt that kept her stockings in place.
It reminded me of crotchless underwear, and I loved getting to use the belt as my own personal handle to pull her into my thrusts.
“Just let me finish this email,” I told her.
She grinned. “I might come the instant you tell me, but I wait for no man.” She rounded my desk and spun my chair, so I was facing her.
She dropped to her knees and got to work on unfastening my pants.
“You can carry on with that email if you need. I’ll be down here, priming you up.
” Her lips turned upward into a grin. Then she licked them and opened wide.
I took a hissing breath when she slid my tip into her mouth, her hot tongue running circles around my ridge. My head fell back, and I closed my eyes as she slowly worked her mouth down my shaft. A groan slipped from my lips. She pulled back, and my hips lifted from the chair.
“What happened to finishing that email?” she asked, smirking.
“Fuck that email,” I said, threading my fingers into her blonde hair and guiding her mouth back to my cock.
She didn’t hold back. She dug her nails into my thighs as she tried to push me to the back of her throat.
Every time she’d suck her way to the tip, it felt like she was on the verge of sucking my soul from my body.
She bobbed up and down for several minutes, pushing me to my breaking point before pulling me back.
I eventually lost my patience with her, which is exactly what she wanted.
With her hair threaded between my fingers, I pulled her mouth away from my cock.
I stood and spun her around so she was facing away from me.
Pushing against the middle of her back until she was bent over my desk with her bare ass in the air, I worked my fingers between her wet folds, spreading her arousal.
“I should have known that you’d already be dripping wet for me,” I said as I rolled a condom over my cock.
She tossed her hair over her shoulder when she looked back at me. “I’m always wet for you, Roman.”
Without further talk, I thrust forward, slamming into her.
She let out a deep moan of approval as her walls quivered around my cock.
My head fell back as I bit my lower lip, enjoying her heat wrapped around me.
I rolled my hips, grinding into her. She leaned forward, pulling herself away from my cock before I was ready.
I grabbed her garter and yanked her back to me, thrusting deep inside her once again.
She let out a soft moan, which only pushed me onward.
Keeping my hold on her, I begin to move my hips back and forth, sliding in and out of her pussy.
She whimpered and begged for more, demanding that I fuck her harder, faster, so that’s exactly what I did.
I moved as quickly as I possibly could. I rocked into her so hard that we were pushing my desk across the room.
I felt her walls start to convulse around my throbbing cock, and I knew she was falling over the edge.
It gave me the permission I needed to chase my own high.
I did the same awful thing I’d always done since my wife’s passing. I closed my eyes and pretended that it was her that I was with. I pictured her blue eyes locking with mine. I imagined how her mouth would fall open, and her brows would knit. Within seconds, I felt my release building.
I squeezed my eyelids tighter and moved my hips faster, pushing myself closer and closer until I finally fell over the edge.
I pumped into her as I shot my load into the condom between us, each pump bringing me closer and closer to the world I was trying to escape rather than the world where I was alone with my wife.
Each wave of my release was warm and euphoric, but it was also hell at the same time because I knew that once I opened my eyes, she’d be gone again, and I’d be alone more than I was before.
No matter how much I didn’t want it to end, it had to.
My hips slowed to a stop as I bent forward, resting my head on her back as I calmed my breathing.
I pulled back, removing myself from her, and turned and pulled off the condom before dropping it into a nearby trash can as I fixed my pants.
My heart was still pounding against my chest, and I was slightly breathless.
Sweat had just started to form on my forehead, so I wiped it with the back of my hand.
Suddenly, I wished that she would be gone when I turned around, but I knew she wouldn’t be.
It was time for the guilt. Looking at her would feel like a punch to the gut, but I had to do it, or she’d never leave.
I hated myself more and more with each day.
I wondered why the universe had to take Chloe.
Why didn’t it take me?
“Roman?”
Just the sound of her voice made the muscles coil under my skin. I straightened, and my shoulders squared with tension.
“Roman? I know what you’re going through right now.” She touched my shoulder, then stepped around me until we were face-to-face. “You talked to me about this, remember?”
I wished I could forget.
Since she was the first one I’d been with after Chloe’s passing, I opened up too much. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. I was hurting and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know any better. Looking back, it’s probably the reason she got as clingy as she did.
“I know you’re feeling guilty. You’re hurting.” Her hand ran from my shoulder to my jaw, where she tilted my head back, forcing me to look at her, and the moment I did, my stomach tightened and twisted like I’d been punched, the guilt eating me alive from the inside out.
“It’s okay, Roman.” She offered a soft smile, trying to reassure me. “You did what you vowed to do. You were a good, faithful husband until the end. This guilt you feel is unwarranted. I can help you through this.”
I shook my head, causing her hand to fall away. “I don’t want your help.”
I fell back a step, turning away from her. I grabbed my desk and pulled it back to where it had been.
“You do this every single time.” She walked over to pick her dress and coat up from the floor. “It has been a while since we saw one another. I had hoped things would have changed with you, but I can see they haven’t.” She pushed her arms through the sleeves. “I knew I shouldn’t have come here.”
“Then why did you?” I asked, not meaning to. I was engaging. I told myself to never engage once I’d pissed them off.
“Because I care for you, Roman!” She stared at me with too much emotion in her eyes. “How many times have we done this, huh?”
I shook my head. “I’m a lost cause. Just go. Remember this for next time. I’m not some fairy tale ending for you. I’m not some lost puppy that you can bring home and rehabilitate. I’m pretty broken.”
The look of pain washed over her face. “That’s the thing, Roman.
You want this. You want to be miserable.
If you wanted to be happy, you could do it.
But you don’t want that. It’s like you think that if you move on, if you get to be happy, it’s forgetting her, and that’s not the case.
It’s a part of life. People die, Roman! She was the one who died. Not you!”
Rage boiled my blood from the inside of my stomach. I tightened my hands into fists, and every muscle grew hard as I turned to glare at her. “I said, get the fuck out.”
When she didn’t move, I bellowed, “NOW!”
She rolled her eyes, shook her head, and started for the door as she tied her dress, her coat slung over one arm. She slammed the door behind her, and it only caused the anger inside of me to double. A growl ripped from my throat as I swiped my arms across my desk, knocking everything to the floor.
Fuck this shit. I was tired of it on repeat.