Chapter 13 Sasha
THIRTEEN
SASHA
It had been a couple of weeks, but I’d settled into a routine that seemed to work for not only me, but for Sophia and Roman as well.
In a way, it almost felt like I was leading a double life.
One life was that of your typical college student, and the other was that of a single parent.
I loved being in Sophia’s life, though. It almost felt like I had a little piece of my sister back.
Roman did very little to make things easier for me, but after the first week, I mostly learned not to expect him to lift a finger.
Still, Sophia seemed to take to me as effortlessly as I took to her.
I had no experience with kids of any age, yet that wasn’t an issue with us.
Sophia was so brilliant and mature in ways I never thought possible.
It made being her nanny so much easier because she liked getting the attention Roman seemed to withhold.
She never put up a fight when I told her to do something.
And that was more than I could say for her father, who claimed to be a grown adult.
Roman would leave early for work, and he made it his mission to stay gone as long as possible.
I was supposed to have dinner on the table every night, but some nights he didn’t bother coming home until I was already in bed.
Other days, he’d come in right on time, and he never gave me any notification on what each day would bring.
God forbid if I didn’t cook dinner that evening.
All hell would break loose. I had no option but to cook dinner and have it ready and waiting, just in case he decided to grace us with his presence.
Even on the nights that he did make it home for dinner, he wouldn’t eat with Sophia and me in the dining room.
He’d fix himself a plate that he’d take to his home office.
He kept himself locked behind doors, so even when he was home, he wasn’t available.
The only time I really saw Roman was when he was wandering in drunk from another night of drinking. The person he’d become was a mere shell of the man he once was. On one hand, I loved how much he loved my sister. On the other hand, I hated him because I wished he could love my niece just as much.
As much as I loved being Sophia’s nanny, I enjoyed the moments away too.
During the hours of eight A.M. until five P.M., I was just a regular college girl.
I went to school, where I poured all my energy into earning my degree.
Compared to the rough time I’d been having before the transfer, my new life was effortless to fall into.
I was too tired and too busy raising my niece to be anyone but myself, and I found that I was even making friends more easily than I ever had.
I loved my sister, but I often felt as if I were growing up in her perfect shadow, as if nothing I did could compare to her.
I always thought she was prettier, more intelligent, and more desirable to boys, teachers, and even our parents.
Even on my first day of high school, every single teacher I had asked if Chloe was my sister, and she’d been out of that school for years.
Chloe was unforgettable, leaving a lasting impression on those who had the fortune to meet her.
That was evident when looking at Roman. He couldn’t forget her either, and, given the lack of women I saw him with, he didn’t want to.
It was like no other woman could compare to her. I guessed we agreed on that, at least.
After a couple of weeks of learning how to care for Sophia and the house the way that Roman liked, I was finally able to enjoy my time off.
I had two days off a week since I started, but I used that time to get in extra studying and homework rather than enjoying my life.
Even though most people don’t go out on Thursday nights, I was a college student, and it seemed like my new friends used any excuse they could to go out.
There was usually a keg party every weekend at one of the campus’s frat houses; different groups would gather at various establishments near campus to take advantage of whatever specials they had that day, and someone was always throwing a holiday-themed party.
On this given day, I’d been invited to a local sports bar for all-you-can-eat wings and domestic buckets.
I wasn’t planning on going at first. I figured I’d stay in and rest up, but when Monica said she was taking Sophia for the night for a sleepover with her niece, I decided I might as well take advantage.
Roman wasn’t home, and I thought that I wouldn’t see him anyway, so there was no reason to stick around the house all by myself.
I pulled on a short jean skirt that sat low on my hips and a fitted tank top that hugged every curve. I ran the iron through my hair, freshening up the curls, and then I touched up my makeup before grabbing my things and making my way toward the door.
Instead of climbing behind the wheel of the Roman-approved car, I climbed into my vehicle.
The interior smelled stale, like it had been left closed up for so long.
I was almost surprised when the engine turned over and started without a fight.
I was thankful that the temps hadn’t fallen below freezing yet, because I knew that it never would have started if it had been left to sit in the winter like that.
I made the drive across town to the sports bar where everyone was hanging out.
I parked in the lot by the side of the building and made my way toward the front entrance.
There were large windows that ran the length of the bar’s side, garage-door-style so that they could be opened on warmer days.
I saw my friends through the glass, smiled, and waved as I rushed toward the door.
Inside, I was greeted by my newest group of girl friends.
“I’m so glad you made it,” Parker said, pulling me in for a hug. “We thought you were going to stay home and do something lame like homework,” she teased, pulling away.
I laughed at her joke as I hugged Addison. “I was going to stay home, but my night opened up so I figured what the hell.” I took a step back and shrugged. “So, what’s going on?”
Parker tucked her curly brown hair behind her ear, and she grabbed my arm, spinning me around to walk back in the direction of the group. Addison took my other arm and walked with me, smooshed in the middle.
“Lance was so excited when he saw you. I think he wants to ask you out,” Parker said.
“Yes! You should have seen the way his eye widened. They literally lit up,” Addison exclaimed, holding me tighter.
I rolled my eyes, dismissing their interest in my and Lance’s personal lives.
Since my first day on campus, Lance and I have been friends. And he was super cute, so I could see why they’d get all excited about us dating.
But I couldn’t date.
It was one of the rules of my employment.
Weird as it may seem, I understood his reasoning behind it, but I didn’t know how to explain that to my newfound friends.
On top of not being able to date, I realized that I didn’t really want to date either.
Steve had done a number on me. When I thought about him, my chest ached from the nights we’d spent together—all the times that I thought I was falling in love.
It also made my stomach clench in anger from being screwed over by my boyfriend and so-called best friend.
No way was I looking to get involved in something like that again.
Not so soon anyway. Maybe not ever… I hadn’t decided.
I had more than enough going on to keep me busy, and I didn’t need some guy coming along and complicating that.
“Hey, I didn’t think you were coming tonight,” Lance said when the girls released me, and I was able to walk over to the high-top table where he was sitting.
I climbed up into the chair and sat across from him.
“Changed my mind.” I smiled nervously.
“Whose car are you driving?” He turned to look out the window from over his shoulder.
Even though I knew my car was parked there, I couldn’t help but follow his gaze. “Oh, that’s my car.”
“You have two?”
I rolled my eyes. “No, I only have one. That’s mine. The one I usually drive belongs to my boss. He thinks my car is a deathtrap on wheels and won’t allow his daughter inside it. So I drive the nanny-mobile to school because I drop her off at daycare on my way.”
“Wow. I need an employer like that,” he said, grinning.
I snorted. “Trust me, no, you don’t. He’s a total asshole.”
“Lance, it’s your turn,” Trevor said, motioning over his shoulder toward the dartboard that was hanging on the wall. He plopped down at the table across from us, and Addison took her place on his lap. She wrapped her arm around his neck and instantly pulled him in for a kiss.
I quickly diverted my eyes to give them some privacy, not that they felt they needed any, since they were making out in a bar.
Parker rolled her eyes at them before grabbing her glass of beer from the table and coming to stand beside me. “I heard that Phillips is going to push our exam back this week.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really? Why?”
She shrugged, taking a sip of her beer. “Some family emergency that he had to leave town for. He doesn’t trust anyone else to administer the exam.” She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Only proving my point that he is a control freak in every sense of the word.”
“I haven’t noticed anything.” I wanted to hold back my grin, so I bit my lower lip.
She took a gasping breath. “Are you blind? Man is a classic control freak in every sense of the word. On the first day of class, he refused to start class until I got up and removed the black pen that I put in the holder of blue pens.”
“Maybe it’s OCD,” I suggested.
She rolled her eyes. “Call it what you want to call it. I, for one, am glad we’ll get a break from him tomorrow.”
“I don’t think he’s that bad.”
“Who?” Lance asked as he took his seat.
“Professor Phillips,” I replied.
Lance rolled his eyes as he poured more beer into his glass. “I had him last year, and I was glad when I passed his class.”
“See,” Parker said, only looking at me.
I shrugged. “I just don’t think he’s that bad. He has his own way of doing things. There’s only black and white. No gray area. And that’s what I like. I like to know exactly what is expected of me. A gray area leaves room for error that I don’t need to make.”
“Boy, if you can stand up for a professor whom everyone who’s ever had his class can hate, I’d really hate to meet your boss that you talk so much shit about,” Parker said, teasing.
Even though I knew she wanted to give me a hard time, her statement made me think.
I guessed that I had been a little too harsh in my public judgment of Roman.
Deep down, I knew he wasn’t a bad guy. He was a product of loss, heartache, and mental illness.
I fully believed that he could heal from Chloe’s loss… If he really wanted to.
But he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to do the work it would require to heal and move on.
And that’s what turned him into the bitter man he had become.
You could get shot in the chest and not die.
Your body would eventually heal, and scar, and you’d live to see many more days to come, but you’d never be the same.
Then some got shot and sought help. Those are the ones who wanted to do the work to heal.
Roman had just been walking around with a bullet in his chest since my sister died.
He refused to get help, and the pain hadn’t gone away.
I shrugged my shoulders. “My boss is an asshole, but deep down, he’s a good guy.”
Lance got up and went to take his turn at the dart board, and Parker took his seat. “How could you possibly know that?”
“I knew him before he was my boss. I knew him before his wife died. That’s what turned him into the asshole he is today.”
Her brows lifted. “Oh,” fell from her lips as the sad reality hit her. “How’d you know his wife?”
“She was my sister.”
I felt and heard Parker’s gasp, but I didn’t turn my attention to her because movement by the entrance caught my eye.
My head popped up as Roman stepped into the sports bar.
He walked in with a small group of men, all of them dressed in nice suits rather than sports jerseys like the rest of the college kids in the place.
He entered with a grin, but it fell from his lips the moment his eyes met mine.
He slid his hands into his pants pockets and straightened his back as he glared at me.
My eyes may have narrowed as I watched him, but I didn’t dare rip them away.
I wanted him to know that I wasn’t going to back down or rush off because we happened to be in the same place at the same time.
From my short time working for him, I could already tell he wanted to keep as much distance between us as possible.
But as long as he minded his business, I’d mind mine.
Nobody had to know that he was the asshole I worked for.
I’d not tell if he didn’t.