Chapter 26 Roman
TWENTY-SIX
ROMAN
Dinner was awkward.
The pizza was good, but I could tell both girls were thrown off by my being there.
Every time I looked at Sasha, she would divert her eyes like she couldn’t bear to look at me anymore.
I couldn’t blame her. I had royally fucked everything up.
And Sophia seemed not to know how to act.
She stayed quiet while eating, only talking when she was asked a direct question.
Something told me that was my fault, too.
The ways I had fucked up in life were all present at this dinner.
No matter where I looked, I saw the outcome of all my past mistakes.
This feeling weighed me down over dinner. So much so that when everyone was done eating, I pulled my usual move and ran off to my office the moment I could.
Inside, I poured myself a drink and paced the floor as I attempted to give myself a pep talk.
I knew I needed to fix things with Sasha.
I’d fucked up when I kissed her, but I’d fucked up even more last weekend.
Walking away after she kissed me took every ounce of strength I had.
I knew I was doing the right thing. She’d been drinking.
But then I left the next morning and stayed gone all week.
I’d done a lot of thinking the last few days, and even though I hadn’t figured out a way to fix things, I did know that I needed to come home.
I needed to talk to her about what was going on between us.
And I needed to do it when neither of us had been drinking.
I looked at the drink in my hand and thought fuck it.
One drink would take the edge off, leaving my head clear and mind sharp.
I waited until I knew that Sophia was asleep, and then I made my way out of my office, finding the house dark.
A blue light flickered from the living room, and when I rounded the corner, I saw Sasha with a bowl of popcorn on the couch, watching TV.
“What are you watching?” I asked, walking into the living room with my hands in my pockets.
She shrugged, not bothering to look at me.
“Some stupid horror movie,” she mumbled, eating a piece of popcorn.
“Thought you hated horror movies?” I remembered Chloe and me taking her to watch a zombie flick several years before. She kept her eyes covered until we finally gave up and left midway through.
“I needed something scarier than real life.”
I walked deeper into the room and sat down beside her.
She looked over at me. “You’re staying?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I thought that maybe it would be a good time to talk about things.” I looked over at her. “You know, since it’ll be the first time that Sophia isn’t running around and we’re both sober at the same time.”
She arched her brow. “You’re sober?”
I couldn’t control the way one corner of my mouth lifted in a lopsided smirk. “Mostly.”
She studied me for a moment before she dusted off her hands and leaned forward to put the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.
“Okay,” she said, pulling her legs up beneath her as she turned her body toward mine. “What do you want to talk about?”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I think we need to talk about what’s been going on with us.”
“I told you everything last time.”
“I know you did. But that’s not exactly what I mean.”
“What do you mean?” She arched her brows as her green eyes bored into mine.
I was an adult, so why did I feel like the kid who was in trouble? She was strong and sure of herself, of her decisions. I was the one shrinking and finding it hard to keep eye contact.
“I just… I want to make sure that you’ve thought this through. I mean, what would your parents think?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why do my parents have to find out?”
I smirked as my brows lifted. “Oh, I see. So you’re just wanting to use me for a good time? Is that it?”
She laughed. “No, I mean… I guess I haven’t thought that far ahead. What I feel for you isn’t just physical. It’s deeper than that. But this is so new and different from anything else I’ve ever done that I can’t exactly promise things will work out.”
I nodded. “And if things don’t work out, would you regret it?”
I watched as she ran her tongue across her lips, wetting them. She pulled the bottom one into her mouth and bit down gently. After a moment of thinking it over, she released it, and her eyes found mine again.
“I don’t think so. I mean, it doesn’t matter if we do this or if I were to start dating some guy I go to school with. I have to take this next step with someone. At least if I do it with you, I’ll know that it was real, that it was more than some in the moment need. I trust you—”
“You shouldn’t.”
“But I do, and I always have. I know that if I give myself to you, my mind and body, you’ll do everything you can to protect me. And I know that because that’s what you’ve always done. I can’t say the same for anyone else.”
My heart started to pound against my chest as I listened to her, because I knew that she was right.
At some point in her life, she would enter into a relationship with someone.
She was going to fall in love, give herself to some guy who would break her heart, because that’s how things go.
But with me, I would never. Or I’d try really fucking hard not to.
The issue was that she trusted me, but I didn’t trust myself, and that was scary.
She reached out and took my hand, squeezing it gently.
“I trust you, Roman. To keep me safe, to love me in whatever way you can, to show me what real passion is, and how to cure the need that’s been building inside of me.
” She lifted herself and swung her leg around until she was in my lap, straddling me.
She released my hand and moved her hands to cup my face.
My hands instantly moved to her hips, where I squeezed and rocked her against my cock that was growing harder against her.
I hadn’t intended on coming out here to make whatever this was happen. In my mind, I was going to apologize and promise never to do it again. But, fuck, one look into her pretty eyes, and I was a goner.
Her eyes rolled back when her clit rubbed against the seam of my sweatpants, and a soft whimper fell from her lips.
“Please don’t change your mind this time,” she whispered, leaning forward where her forehead rested against mine.
I lifted my hips, letting her rock against me again, and she gasped.
“This is so much better than a pillow.” Her mouth crashed against mine, and for the first time, neither of us held back.
Our lips moved fast, perfectly in sync with one another.
I kissed her hard, our tongues moving, dancing, and tangling with one another’s.
My hands rocked her hips forward and back as we kissed, driving us both insane with need.
My heart pounded against my chest, and I was breathless, a mixture of our kiss and the excitement racing through my blood faster than light.
I trailed my mouth down to her chin, peppering her skin with kisses as I worked my way up her jaw. Once I got to her ear, I whispered, “Have you been rubbing yourself against my pillows as you fantasized about me?” I nipped her earlobe with my teeth.
She fisted my hair and doubled her efforts. Nodding, she moaned in agreement.
“Such a naughty thing to do, Sasha.” I slammed my mouth down on hers and tightened my hold on her hips as I stood, holding her against me.
Her legs wrapped around my waist as I carried her to my room.
I closed the bedroom door behind us, locking it so I didn’t have to worry about Sophia walking in.
I hadn’t ever been with a woman in my house since she’d been alive.
I didn’t want to worry about her walking in on something she wouldn’t understand.
I carried Sasha to my bed and lay her down before taking my place on top of her. If I had any reason to doubt her virginity before, I didn’t anymore.
She loved every little touch, kiss, and nip of my teeth, almost like every inch was overly sensitive.
I pulled off her tank top first, not surprised to find her completely bare beneath.
Her breasts were so fucking perfect I nearly groaned at being able to see them finally.
I’d noticed on several occasions when her nipples would pebble up beneath the cotton of her shirt.
It had taken all my willpower to look away when that happened.
My hands completely covered her tits as I buried my face in her neck, kissing, sucking, and biting my way down her flesh.
I kissed her collarbones and down to her breasts.
I sucked one of her hard nipples into my mouth.
Her back arched off the bed. She let out a deep gasp and begged for more when my tongue lashed her nipple over and over.
“Oh my God, Roman,” she gasped, digging her nails into my back as she ripped my shirt upward.
I reached over my head and pulled it off, tossing it onto the floor. I saw her take me in, causing her lips to turn up into a sexy little smile.
“You make me feel so good,” she whispered. “I want you to touch me.”
I was kneeling between her legs as she lay on her back.
Her legs were spread, and her knees were bent.
But we were close enough that rolling my hips allowed me to grind against her.
I moved my hands to her breasts, massaging them.
I ran my thumbs back and forth across them, making goosebumps prickle her skin.
She shook her head.
“Not there. Here.” Her hand roamed across her stomach and down her pants. She lifted her hips, and her eyes fell closed as she rubbed her clit against her fingertips.
I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand out of her pants.
Keeping my eyes glued to hers, I sucked her fingers into my mouth, tasting her excitement that was smeared across her fingers.
She tasted sweet, clean, and fresh. My eyes closed as I sucked on her fingers, but when I opened them, I saw her looking at me with her mouth open.
It was like she was surprised that I suck her arousal from her fingers.
I pulled at her pants and tugged them over her ass. She brought her knees together and let me take them off the rest of the way. When she spread her legs for me, I saw the darkening material of her light gray, cotton panties. I wet my lips as my hand moved up her soft inner thigh.
“Has anyone ever touched you here?” I kissed the inside of her knee.
She shook her head.
“Have you ever touched yourself here?” I used the pad of my thumb to rub against her panty-covered clit.
Her lips parted as she gasped, but she shook her head.
“Did you come when you rubbed your pussy against my pillows?” I asked, gently teasing her nub through her panties.
“I-I wanted to, but I didn’t,” she whispered, her voice shaking.
“Was it your first time you felt like that?”
She wet her lips, and her knees started to shake on either side of me from teasing her. Still, she nodded.
“What did you think about when you were grinding against the pillow? Did you think of me?”
She nodded again. “ I pretended that it was you touching me.”
I swept my thumb to the side, sliding it into her panties from the leg hole. The pad of my thumb started at her opening, but she was dripping with need for me. It allowed my thumb to slide up between her folds with ease, giving just enough lubrication that I could rub circles around her needy clit.
Her hands moved to her sides, where they fisted the sheets, like she needed to hold herself down. I watched my thumb tease her pink clit, making her legs shake more and more.
“I’m dying to taste this sweet pussy, Sasha. Is that okay with you?”
Her eyes opened wide and locked on mine, but she nodded even though I could see all the questions building in her eyes.
I removed my hand and yanked her panties down her legs.
Wrapping my arms around her thighs, I began kissing my way up between them.
With each touch of my lips, she relaxed a little more, until I used the flat of my tongue to lick her from asshole to clit.
She jerked beneath my mouth, her breath catching.
I sucked her clit into my mouth, and her hips bucked upward. I tugged her ass back to the mattress and sucked at her clit again while thrashing my tongue against it.
Her breathing was erratic, moans and whimpers leaving her mouth as her hips rocked forward and back. She lifted her ass off the bed, and I nearly had to wrestle her back down.
I slide one finger into her, and she exploded, no longer able to hold off the intense orgasm building inside her.
She was tight around my finger, so I knew nobody else had the privilege of stretching her around them.
As badly as I wanted to feel her around my cock, I knew I needed to be patient.
I needed to give her time to get used to what we were doing.
An orgasm was one thing, but losing your virginity was another.
Not to mention, I wasn’t sure I had it in me to restrain myself in the way she’d need to keep from hurting her more than necessary.
When her release ended and her moans quieted, I pulled back and wiped her excitement from my face. She watched me with hooded eyes as her chest rose and fell quickly. I pushed my sweatpants down until my cock sprang free.
“We’re not having sex tonight,” I told her, taking myself in hand. “We have to take this slow.”
She bit her lip and nodded. “O-OK.”
“But if I don’t come soon, my balls are going to kill me tomorrow, so I need you to help me out.”
She nodded as the corners of her mouth turned upward in a sexy, shy smile.
I placed my cock against her slit, and then I pushed her thighs together before wrapping my arms around them.
I pulled my hips back and thrusted them forward, allowing my big cock to glide against her lips and clit.
She whimpered, so I knew she felt the friction where she needed it most. My eyes fell closed as I rubbed myself against her, over and over, until my own release started to build inside of me.
The closer I got to finishing, the faster I moved.
And then she came undone, and I let myself go as I spilled every last drop onto her stomach.
It was better than I ever imagined it could be, but fuck, I really wanted her pussy.
Slow, I told myself.
But fuck… I wasn’t sure I could go slow now.