Chapter 27 Sasha
TWENTY-SEVEN
SASHA
Iwas mesmerized by his bulging biceps and the way his corded muscles moved beneath the skin.
His big hands were gripping my thighs as he held them together.
His eyes were closed tightly, causing lines to form around them, and his lips were parted with his heavy breathing, soft moans escaping whenever his cock stroked my clit.
He wasn’t inside me, but every move he made felt so good that I almost begged him to take me.
I thought about how one wrong move could leave him pushing inside of me, and that made my body ache for him even more.
I liked how close we were to breaking all the rules.
Roman was big. His cock was long and thick, and I imagined it would tear me in two if he did enter me.
But I wanted it just the same.
The small orgasm I nearly gave myself with the pillow was nothing compared to the explosion he caused inside of me when he had his mouth between my thighs.
I never knew something could feel so good.
I had no control over myself as each wave rocked through me, causing my body to shiver, shake, and convulse in pleasure.
And having his long, hard cock sliding up my wet pussy was enough to push me over the edge again.
I fisted the sheet as I gave myself over completely, no longer worried about what we were doing, what people would think, or what it could mean for our relationship.
He let out a grunt just moments before I felt something warm spread across my stomach. I opened my eyes and looked down as he emptied himself with a jerk. His hips slowed to a stop. Breathless, he fell to the bed beside me.
We both lay there, our panting loud enough that it almost seemed to echo in the silent room.
After a moment of regaining our composure, he sat up on the edge of the bed and pulled his sweats back in place.
He stood and walked to the attached bathroom, returning a second later with a warm washcloth that smelled of jasmine and citrus.
He carefully wiped his come from my skin, and I watched, completely fascinated by the gesture.
After he cleaned the mess from my stomach, he bent down and kissed the skin next to my belly button, causing the butterflies to flutter their wings again.
He grabbed my hand. “You can use my bathroom to clean up.”
Without a word, I got up and went into the attached bathroom.
As I used the bathroom, my thoughts were racing.
I didn’t know what would happen once I exited the room.
I didn’t know whether to go to my room or expect him to come back to his bed.
I was full of excitement from being with him, even if we didn’t have sex.
I was a step closer than I had been an hour earlier.
If sex was anything like what we did in his bed, I couldn’t wait to take that step with him, but I liked that he wanted to wait.
It almost felt like he wanted to stretch our firsts out for as long as possible, even though he probably just wanted to give me time to change my mind.
I wasn’t changing my mind, though. I was more sure than ever that things had changed for us, and they could never go back to how they were before that kiss. Never.
I stepped back out into his room to find him lying in bed, covered from the waist down with the comforter. I stopped midway between him and the door. “Should I—”
“Get over here,” his deep voice almost echoed through the darkness of the room.
I was glad it was so dark. It meant that he couldn’t see my nervous smile as I moved toward the bed instead of the door.
I climbed up onto the mattress, and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down as he rolled us to our sides. My back was against his chest as he pulled the blanket over me, then he draped his arm over me as he buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply.
“Fuck, you smell so good,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the area of skin between my hair and ear.
My heart went crazy in my chest, and I hoped that he couldn’t feel it.
It only took him a few minutes before his breathing evened out and deepened. He was fast asleep, but I was still alive with excitement, reliving the things we did over and over and over like some obsessed fan who had finally landed her rockstar.
In the back of my mind, I wondered and worried about people finding out about us, about things ending badly, and about losing my job.
I worried about where that would leave Sophia, and I told myself I shouldn’t be so careless.
But I pushed all of those thoughts away.
I knew there would be plenty of time to address our worries and concerns, maybe even talk about our future and make plans.
But for the time being, I wasn’t going to overanalyze everything.
I just wanted to enjoy the moment, enjoy having him hold me, touch me, kiss me.
I didn’t remember falling asleep. One minute I was going over everything we’d done in my head, and the next I was waking up.
Only in the light of day was it a little harder to see the positive side of things.
I was being greedy by wanting to be Sophia’s nanny and Roman’s…
lover? I was there for Sophia. She needed me.
More importantly, she needed consistency.
Having an endless stream of women come and go in her life wasn’t healthy.
I had been there longer than anyone else.
I knew she was growing attached. And while that was a good thing, it would be a very bad thing if things ended with Roman and me.
If I lost my job, Sophia wouldn’t take it well. I never should have gambled her happiness for mine. I hated how careless I’d been, and anxiety started to claw its way up my throat.
I was pinned beneath Roman’s large, muscular arm, but the weight of it was starting to make me feel like I couldn’t breathe.
I needed to get up. I needed to get moving and start my day.
I needed to work over everything in my own way, in my own time.
I wiggled a little, trying to free myself, but in the process, I woke him.
His eyes popped up and met mine. The room was dimly lit, with the morning sun only making its way into the room from around the edges of the curtains.
It was dark, but enough light was getting through that you could clearly see.
I saw the panic in his eyes, and he saw it in mine.
Funny thing was, when I saw it in his, it took mine away.
I didn’t need him to reassure me that everything that happened between us was right. I wanted to do that for him.
He pulled his arm away and threw back the blankets as he rolled away from me.
He stood from bed and stretched. He took a step toward the door, then he stopped and looked back at me.
His jaw twitched, and his hands turned to fists at his sides.
“This was a mistake.” He clenched his eyelids together as he turned away from me. “I’m so sorry, Sasha.”
Then he was out the door in a flash, taking with him all the panic and worry.
I didn’t have time to stop him. There wasn’t time to process my feelings and his.
I was panicking, and then when I saw him do the same, I was suddenly grounded.
I knew what needed to be said. I knew what I had to do.
I stood from bed and wrapped my robe around my body before I left the room, going directly to his office, where I knew he liked to hide.
I didn’t knock. I just opened the door and marched inside, letting the door close behind me.
When he heard the door close, he stopped his anxious pacing, and he turned to look at me.
“It wasn’t a mistake,” I told him, walking closer. “You and I both know it.”
“It’s wrong. You’re too young. You’re technically family and an employee, and I used my power over you for my own benefit.”
I shook my head. “No, you didn’t. Something is changing with us.
I feel it too. I know what I want, and it’s you.
I know you want me too because I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me, every time we touch.
I can feel it every time we kiss.” I moved closer, so our lips were only an inch apart.
“Don’t think about anything else. Just tell me: right now, in this moment, do you want me? ”
“Yes,” he instantly responded, his voice shaking.
“Then that’s all that matters.” I lifted myself on my tiptoes, pressing my mouth to his.
I almost expected him to pull away, to be full of doubt, but instead, he kissed me back. He wrapped his arms around me, and he deepened our kiss. His tongue pressed forward, and I opened wider for him, letting him come inside as I wrapped my arms around his neck, never wanting to let him go.
Our tongues twisted and explored, and I felt his cock harden, straining against his sweatpants and pressing against my stomach.
I wanted to touch him, to hold him. So I let my right hand fall away from his neck.
I moved it down his chest and stomach and slid beneath the waistband of his pants until I could wrap my fingers around him.
He was large in girth, big enough that the tip of my thumb and middle finger could barely touch.
I gently squeezed as I moved my hand from his base to his tip, and he moaned into my mouth.
He broke our kiss and let his head fall back as if he were looking at the ceiling.
“Fuck, it feels so good when you touch me,” he whispered, running his hands up my biceps. His eyes found mine again. “All this thinking has me all fucked up,” he confessed.
“Then stop.”
The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, to the point where you could almost call it a smile.
He leaned forward and kissed me again. In the blink of an eye, he pulled my hand away from him and picked me up.
I squealed as my legs wrapped around his waist. He carried me around his desk, where he set me on the top.
He leaned over me, forcing me back as his mouth moved to my jaw and neck.
His hands pushed their way through the gap in my robe, and he rolled my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers.
A fire in my belly ignited, and I moaned softly, surprised by how pleasurable the light pain was.
The junction between my thighs began to pulsate, and I found myself praying he’d go lower.
Instead, he thrust forward, rubbing the hardness in his pants against me, making me gasp as the flash of need went racing through my body.
“Roman?” Monica called out, her voice just muffled enough to tell that she was approaching the office. “Are you in here?” she asked, before knocking.
Roman and I jerked away from one another, something on his desk clattering as our jarring actions rattled the desk. We jumped several feet away from one another, and I smoothed down my robe just as the door opened and Monica walked in.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were in here, Sasha. Was there a morning meeting I wasn’t aware of?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head.
“No, I just had to ask Roman a few questions before he takes off for the day. I’ll just let myself out.
” I forced a smile as I stepped around him, noticing the item that we knocked over in our rush to get away from one another was a picture frame.
Guilt settled in my stomach as I realized that was a picture of Chloe.
I slipped out of the office and made the quick escape to my own room, where I stripped down and stepped into the shower.
I took a seat on the built-in bench and brought my knees to my chest as I wrapped my arms around them.
The spray from the shower could only hit my toes, which were dangling off the bench, but the space was filling with steam, and I absorbed it.
Roman was right. Thinking only fucks with your head.
“What am I supposed to do now, Chlo?” I muttered to the nothingness. The funny thing was, I knew what she would say to me if I asked her about any random guy.
She’d tell me to enjoy every minute of it because falling in love is sometimes better than being in love.
But would she tell me that if she knew the man I was falling for was the man she thought she’d spend forever with?
That is what made everything so complicated.
If she were still around, she and Roman would still be madly in love. I was sure of it.
Deep down, I wondered what it was that he saw in me.
I was nothing like my sister. If Chloe was the sun with her warm skin, blonde hair, and bright blue eyes, I was the night.
My light colored skin resembled the moon, and my dark hair was like the midnight sky.
She was outgoing, funny, and flirtatious.
I was shy, quiet, and reserved. How could the same guy be attracted to both types?
I questioned if he was really attracted to me or if I was just easy access, but that was just my self-doubt talking.
I knew how he felt because I could see it in his eyes, I could feel it in the pull that had developed between us.
And truth be told, it didn’t matter how guilty I felt, because getting to explore this feeling for the first time, it was enough to bury all else.
He may have been hers first, but she was gone, and he was up for grabs.
What was that saying? Is all fair in love and war?
But why did this feel like a constant war?