CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
JORDAN
“Come on, gorgeous. Let’s go shopping.” Eli’s voice over the phone made my stomach lurch. The man called all the time, and I did my best to only answer sparingly.
“Eli, I’m really tired….” I looked at the clock. It was eleven thirty a.m. Clearly, I was running out of excuses.
“I have the perfect powder for that,” he said with an evil chuckle.
“You know I don’t do that stuff.”
“Fine. Take a nap. Then can we go out to dinner?”
I tried to keep our public outings to a minimum, especially since Seven told me about how my last outing with Eli had leaked. Damian and Axel called me personally to impress upon me the severity of Eli’s crappiness. Not like they needed to tell me. I’d done my best to play it off as a money grab, just a chance to sock away some money for the rainy day fund. But when my brothers not only offered to replace whatever Eli was giving me, but double it? I had no reasons left to give them.
I couldn’t be spotted with Eli again. That was absolutely not how this whole undercover mission was supposed to go. I was terrified that Cora would find out, too. I’d just started to gain some sisters—I didn’t want to lose them, too. But Axel promised me he wouldn’t tell her—he just didn’t want me to associate with Eli anymore, unless he came into the club.
“Can’t we just have a cozy night in?” I asked. That would be better than being out and about on the town. I needed to get closer to him, on the off chance he revealed something damning about the SEC case. The last couple of times we met, I’d picked up an errant statement or two about his involvement. Juicy tidbits, for sure, but nothing like what he admitted in front of me during that first house party. Maybe if I got him alone, I could steer the conversation back in that direction.
“I have things to do, people to see, gorgeous,” he replied coolly. “I need you out with me.”
“Fine. Let’s do lunch. Maybe eating will perk me up,” I said. Already, my stomach was in knots. Eating would be impossible while I wondered at every turn whether someone would snap a picture that could somehow make it back to my brothers. I hadn’t spotted the camera the first time.
“I know just the place,” Eli said. “I’ll send you the address.”
Lately, he’d been pushing for more alone time, for kisses, for things I didn’t want to give him. I’d figured this would happen eventually. I just prayed I could continue finding the perfect excuse to dance around it whenever it came up.
I called Trojan, who already felt like my big lumberjack brother after over a week of him following me around. His gruff voice answered, “Hello?”
“You busy?”
“Not if you’re calling.”
“Can we do a lunch thing with Eli? I’ll try to make it quick.”
“Yeah. I’ll come pick you up. Hang tight.”
I got ready while I waited for Trojan, slipping into a bodycon dress that I paired with my leather jacket. Sexy, but simple. I worked on my makeup next and put my hair into a sloppy topknot to finish it off. When Trojan texted that he was outside, I double checked that I had all my recording devices in my handbag, then hurried downstairs to the waiting SUV. My bare legs turned to goosebumps at the chilly air as I slipped into the backseat, pulling the door shut.
Trojan smiled down at me, hulking and bearded at my side. “Sup, Jordy.”
I smiled, sinking back into my seat. “Oh, nothing much.” To the front, I called out, “How are you, Liam?”
I’d found out from Trojan that Seven had purchased this vehicle for close protection use only. No more Harry and Legs for these trips. I could only assume that Liam, as the new hire, was being hazed by doing chauffer duty.
“Doing fine. Living the dream.” He squeezed the wheel, squinting ahead of him as he merged into traffic.
“That’s a lie,” Trojan informed me. “He hates driving. But Seven’s the boss.”
“I guess he is.” I crossed my arms, looking out the window. I didn’t want to think about Seven, much less talk about him. But the fact that he sat so heavily on my mind every day, despite my best intentions, didn’t help much with moving on.
He was all I could think about. Especially while we waded deeper into Eli’s treacherous world.
I wanted him at my side. As my partner. My confidante. My lover. My Seven.
But he was able to step away so cleanly, so easily, that it made me wonder if I’d been the stupid little infatuated girl who was blind to the fact that he’d never been invested at all.
The ride to the lunch spot passed quietly. I was dying to ask the same question I asked every time I sat at Trojan’s side. I made sure my wireless recorders weren’t turned on before I asked.
“How is Seven doing?” We were a block away from the restaurant, so I knew I could just dart out if I didn’t like the answer.
Trojan cleared his throat. “He’s, uh, just doing his thing. Working himself to death, in all senses.”
I turned slightly. “What does that mean?”
“With the business. In the gym. He’s just nonstop. He gets like this when he’s trying to not think about something. And I think there are a few things he’s trying not to think about, if you know what I’m saying.”
My gaze shifted to Liam in the front seat. He pulled up to the valet lane in front of the restaurant and flashed his blinkers. It was my time to leave…but I wanted to probe a little deeper with Trojan.
“Explain,” I said softly.
Trojan sighed tersely. To Liam, he said, “Can you give me a minute to brief Jordan? Step outside, I’ll let you know when we finish.”
Liam nodded and slipped out of the car. When it was just the two of us, Trojan assessed me heavily. “My friend is going crazy, Jordan. Because of you. And I need him to fucking snap out of it soon.”
I blinked rapidly. I had not seen that coming.
“He’s crazy about you, and he’s suffering without you. But he won’t fucking admit it because he’s a stubborn asshole.”
My throat tightened. It was what I’d been dying to hear, but it didn’t make things easier, or better. If he refused to do anything about his feelings, I certainly couldn’t convince him to change his mind.
“Well, he knows where to find me.” I reached for the door handle. “And he’s had plenty of time.”
“He’s had a hard time opening up since Olivia,” Trojan blurted. The new name made me pause, turning to look at him.
“Olivia?”
“His late fiancé,” Trojan said, emotion creasing his features. “She was murdered eight years ago. They were engaged to be married, living off base in California. Seven was out on duty one night, and a serial killer broke into their house and murdered her.” His throat bobbed, but he didn’t look away. I was pinned to my spot. “I thought you should know.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered, too stunned to even blink. “I…that…I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for him.”
“I’ve known this guy since we were nineteen. You two are cut from the same cloth,” Trojan said. “You’ve both lived through some serious shit. But what happened with Olivia turned him into a brick wall. When shit gets tough, he shuts down, builds the wall. It’s happened between him and me, too. It just means you need to get handy with a pickax from time to time.”
I mulled over this information. My heart broke for Seven. But it broke for what he was letting die between us, as well.
“I can’t force him to be open with me,” I finally said. “He’s kept so many things from me. His business. His plans. Olivia. I just…I can’t…”
“I get it. But know this. I could tell he was in trouble from the first time I heard him mention your name. The way he talked about you…shit, Jordan, I haven’t heard him talk about anyone like he talks about you. Not even Olivia.”
“In trouble?” I asked with a small laugh.
“Yeah. Code for in love.” He shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know. Just think about it. I want you both to be happy. You guys deserve it.”
I touched his arm. “Thanks, Trojan. You’re really sweet and a good friend. But I can’t make him change his mind. And neither can you.”
I opened the door, signaling the end of our conversation. Trojan knocked on the window for Liam to reenter, then gave him directions on what to do during our lunch date. Once I turned on all my recording devices, I slipped out of the car. Trojan followed me, the two of us gliding along a dark carpeted runner leading up to a swanky gold-plated set of doors beneath the scripted metallic font broadcasting the name: Adobe.
Inside, Eli was waiting for us. I spotted him almost immediately, waiting at a round table in a corner, no windows nearby. Two cocktail glasses were already on the table; one drained, and one that he sipped. I went to Eli while Trojan posted up at a different table nearby—the common bodyguard protocol inside restaurants. Along the way, I glanced around as furtively as possible, looking for cameras, curious gazes, anything that told me this meet-up wasn’t safe.
I tried to blend in as much as possible, but Eli welcomed me with a long, sweaty hug and only spoke in tones a half decibel below shouting. Lunch was a tremendous bore, made tolerable only by the amazing lump crab cakes and beetroot salad. Acquaintances of his cycled through constantly, always when I was mid-bite, and I got the sense that he just wanted to be seen out with me.
Our conversation was stilted and basic. He wasn’t in the mood for shit-talking the Fairchilds, and this wasn’t the place for me to pry. Once the plates were cleared, the check paid, and his third cocktail emptied, I was ready to escape out the secret back door, lest anyone discover me here with Eli.
“When am I going to get you to myself?” he asked, his gaze sliding past my shoulder, presumably toward Trojan, then back to me. “You’ve been toying with me long enough.”
I offered him a coy smile, but on the inside, panic threaded through me. “You want more?”
“I always want more.” He reached across the table, scooping my hand up between his clammy palms. “And you know it.”
“You know how we arranged things…” I started, unsure what else to add. The truth was plain to see. He wanted more, and I didn’t know how much further I could tease things without trapping myself in a spot I didn’t want to be.
“I just thought I’d be getting a little higher return for my money.” His gaze sharpened to a knifepoint, and I could hear the insinuation weighing heavily in his tone. “But maybe I just need to look elsewhere.”
I batted my eyelashes. “Don’t be like that, Eli. You just need to tell me what you want.”
He leaned closer. “Kiss me.”
My heart started pounding. On a list of the least desirable activities in the world, kissing Eli rang in at the number one spot. I tried to survey my surroundings without looking like I was disintegrating from panic. “In public?”
“I want them all to see,” he murmured. The legs of his chair scraped across the floor until we were inches apart. “Kiss me and prove you’re serious about where this is heading.”
I laughed, but I could tell it sounded nervous. “Geez, is that all you want?”
“Now, Jordan.”
I leaned into him, every inch of my body wanting to lean in the opposite direction. He caught the back of my head in his hand and pulled me into him, laying a sloppy kiss on my lips. His sweat-tinged cologne sank into me, making my insides revolt. I never wanted to be this close to this man again—and I was crying out for Seven on the inside.
I tried to school my reaction when he pulled away. All I could see was his look of deep satisfaction.
“I’m having another house party,” he said when we parted. “I need you there.”
“Just tell me when.” I tried to keep my voice casual.
“This weekend. You’ll have to call off work. But I’ll make it worth your while.” He grinned evilly as he adjusted his navy-blue jacket. I was dismissed, made evident by the way he stood and sauntered off, ready for the next portion of his day. I twisted in my seat, searching out Trojan’s familiar boxy shoulders and powerful frame. He watched me with a worried look but surged to his feet.
We hurried out of the restaurant. Humiliation clung to me, and I didn’t speak for a long time, even after we were in the SUV and heading back to my apartment. Once Liam pulled up to my building, I turned to Trojan and said, “Can you not tell Seven?”
His handsome face crumpled. “Jordy, I have to. Besides, he’s gonna know. He reviews all the audio.”
Seven would for sure hear that muffled kiss.
“Then just tell him…I didn’t fucking want to,” I grumbled.
“Trust me. It was obvious.” He squeezed my shoulder before I slipped out of the SUV and headed up to my apartment.
Once inside, I contemplated burning my outfit again, since Seven couldn’t tear it off me, but I opted for a long, hot shower. I didn’t have to work at the club that night, so I pampered myself for the rest of the day—face masks, decadent lattes, comfort TV running constantly in the background. Just when I thought I might pop out to the nearby park to hunt some Pokémon and grab some rice noodles for dinner, Axel called.
“Hey, big brother,” I said cheerfully once I swiped the call on.
“Hey, Jordan.” His voice sounded strained. “Listen, you got a minute?”
“Yeah, sure.” I plopped onto my couch, muting the current movie, which was the most recent remake of Baywatch. “What’s up?”
He sighed heavily. “I don’t even know what to say, honestly. I’m just…confused.”
“About what?”
“Jordan, you and Damian and I talked last week about Cora’s ex. Remember?”
My heart sank to my feet. “Yeah, I remember.”
“Then why the fuck did Cora get sent a picture of you and Eli kissing at Adobetoday?”
I pressed a fist to my forehead, gritting my teeth as I tried to contain the shriek of frustration that threatened to spill out. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
“Who sent it to her?” I squeaked out.
“Her friend. Someone who was having lunch there and recognized Eli. Does it matter? Jordan, what the fuck are you doing? Why are you dating Eli?”
“I’m not dating him,” I rushed to say.
“Aren’t you? You’re fucking kissing him in public. Jordan, Cora is devastated. I thought we could keep her from needing to know about this, but…dude. What are you doing?”
My insides felt like a ringing bell on the brink of shattering. I didn’t know what I was doing, I just knew that I needed to keep it going, for just a bit longer. “Axel, I told you—he pays so well—”
“And I told you that I’ll double whatever you’re making from him,” Axel snapped. “That man is scum. Unless this is some sort of payback or something?”
“Payback?”
“Yeah, are you mad at me and Damian still? Is this your way of getting back at us or something? Fuck, Jordan—this is fucked up, ya know?”
“Axel, it’s not like that, I promise.” My voice quaked now. This had spiraled out of control, and I felt like everyone was slipping out of reach.
“Just end it with him.” Axel sounded like he was pleading. “That’s all I ask. I don’t want this to break Cora’s heart again. You deserve so much better than him. It breaks my heart, too, to see you with an asshole like that. Please, Jordan. Please.”
I gripped the phone so hard I thought it would snap in two. I had no idea what to say. Other than “Okay.”
Axel’s desperation lingered in the air even after we hung up. I texted Cora after I’d disassociated for a while, eager to begin repairing what I could.
JORDAN: Hey Cora. Can we talk?
By the time I went to bed, she still hadn’t responded.
And in the morning…still nothing.
I needed to get this intel to save my brothers, but going through with it just might ruin everything.