The Price of Ice

Chapter 42

I t turned out Levy had fallen asleep while they video called the previous night and his phone had died.

“I did plug it in this morning,” Levy explained when he called Kallen back later that night, he’d just got back from his volunteering gig. “But I forgot to turn it on .”

Kallen could only laugh. “No big deal, I just— I really wanted to tell you something.

“Yeah?” He could almost hear the way Levy’s smile softened.

He rolled over in his bed, where he’d been lying like a lump since coming back from his surprise hike. He’d dozed off for a bit, but he wasn’t tired, not physically, at least. “I quit. Officially.”

“Oh, wow,” Levy sounded reverent. “That’s... Well, on the one hand, I’m proud of you, I know how hard that was. On the other hand, you okay?”

Kallen’s snort turned into a laugh, and then somehow he was exhaling through something close to a sob. “No.”

It was the kind of admission that would have felt impossible only a few months ago, because he’d had to be fine. If you weren’t fine you couldn’t play, after all. He’d been fine with a messed-up knee and with colds that fucked up his vision and with a broken heart when his grandpa had died.

He’d played through it all and playing had somehow made it all okay. As if scoring was the direct result of his suffering, his soul the incense he burned at the altar of success.

“Tell me,” Levy whispered.

“Was it all for nothing?” Kallen asked, frantic like they’d run out of time.

“No,” Levy said, his own voice thick and suddenly Kallen realised he’d never asked his new boyfriend how he was coping with the end of his own career. “I don’t know what it was for, but not for nothing. Like remember that sweet pass you gave me against the Eagles back in May?”

Kallen sighed. “Yeah.”

It’d been a thing of beauty, and the moment the puck had gone in the net, Levy had turned and met his eyes across the ice, his joy so infectious it’d been almost like Kallen had scored himself.

“So, like, we had good moments?”

“Sure,” Levy agreed. “And I... Well, I can’t say I wouldn’t change them for anything because the bad moments were shit . But since we can’t get a refund, might as well be grateful for the good ones, right?”

“Are you okay?” Kallen asked because he was putting a great show, but he knew what Levy had lost. In some ways, he wondered if it wasn’t somehow worse for an alpha since Levy had been fully cognizant while he’d been forced to have sex, and as much as Kallen insisted, it was obvious he wasn’t about to declare himself a victim of circumstance and decry all responsibility.

Not that Kallen was doing that, so maybe it was equally shitty.

“I’m... disappointed,” Levy said at last. “But I’m trying to think of the future? It feels like I should make up for it, so... maybe it’s messed up, but what if not playing hockey is sort of a, well, not a punishment. What’s that word for when you do something to make amends?”

“Atone,” Kallen said, heavily. “But I don’t think that’s it. I don’t believe... I don’t think we are being punished, or even that like, the universe or whatever wants us to suffer for our mistakes. It’s just we made mistakes and they have consequences that we don’t like, which is literally why they are called mistakes. So it hurts now, but there is no intention for it to hurt, it’s just how reality works. You fuck up, you get a mess you gotta clean up.”

Levy exhaled something close to a laugh, though there was nothing happy about it. “I like that; you fuck up, you clean up.”

“It can be our motto,” Kallen suggested, still heavy-hearted, still tired, but not alone and not lost. He could see the work to be done ahead of him, not every step of the way, but the feel of it, the difficulty of building something strong that required your sweat and your dedication. But not your tears. Those might come anyway, because they were both going to make mistakes again, alone and together, and they’d get unlucky too—that was how life worked, not with a perfect chain reaction where you did the right thing and therefore got the right results, or vice versa. Rob had been a mistake too, hadn’t he? But all Kallen had got was a sweet alpha looking after him, and maybe a month of moping when the older boy had left, but he barely remembered that now. “Definitely an upgrade for me.”

“Me too,” Levy agreed. “And I’ll help you clean up your messes when I can, if you help me with mine?”

Kallen took a moment to let the words go through him. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll take that deal. When we can, and we can’t...”

“We can’t,” Levy echoed, and Kallen could imagine him shrugging. “We both got other people on our team, anyway. We are not alone.”

They really weren’t. In fact, the moment he’d deigned to look around himself, Kallen had realised he was surrounded by people who’d be willing to help and who needed help, and the more he gave, the fuller he felt.

“I wanna move in with you,” he said, brave all of a sudden.

“Yeah?” And there was that smile in Levy’s voice, and he was so tempted to ask for a video call, only that would have meant stopping. “You should, save on the commute.”

Kallen laughed a little, half nerves and half at the ridiculousness of the suggestion. “Thought you were looking in my parents’ neighbourhood anyway?”

“Well, I started there, but... you know that picture where you are looking at the water?”

“Yeah.”

“You just looked so peaceful, and I thought... Well, I found a house. A little house,” he hurried to clarify. “But it’s on the water.”

For a moment, he couldn’t find the words, the image materialising on his mind so clearly it took his breath away. “Okay,” he said slowly.

“You’ll look at it?”

“Can we... I did my budget,” he explained. “But it’d look different if...” He wavered. “If we shared.”

Levy was silent for a moment. “Oh, you mean, can we afford it?” He laughed. “I have no idea right now. I think so, but, well, I don’t even have the job yet.”

“You will,” Kallen told him once again. “But we could look at the house on the water and some flats as well? I mean, I could go check them out first, since I’m here?”

As soon as the offer was past his lips, he wanted to take it back. He didn’t. He wasn’t going to put himself through a grinder to achieve any goals anymore, but he wasn’t about to stop reaching for more either. Finding a place for them to live without fucking it up sounded terrifying, but it wasn’t actually beyond his skill set. And if it was, there were always state agents to ask. And his mother.

Levy had got so excited about the prospect that they’d started looking at ads right then and there. But Kallen got called to dinner before they could do more than find a couple of real state websites. “Don’t spend the rest of the night in a research spiral,” he warned. “Three links maximum.”

His boyfriend had quickly negotiated him up to five, and Kallen had walked into the dining room with a smile he’d had no choice but to explain.

His father had congratulated him on quitting the team, and if there was sadness underneath the relief, it was only right. It meant he actually got it .

As far as an alpha could, and Kallen was beginning to think that was pretty far, if it was the right alpha.

He hadn’t mentioned the donation idea to his dad, and his mother hadn’t brought it up either. In their next session, Doctor Meira would assure him it was fine if he wanted to keep it to himself until he was ready to share. He hoped the people in his life would agree.

WHEN HE CALLED TO SEE if they could meet up, Analisa asked if he could drive her to the market two towns over known for its rare crystals and crafts. He agreed, her mother’s birthday was coming apparently, and it couldn’t hurt to earn a few brownie points before he told her.

The car was a good place to talk, since he could look forward without it seeming like he was avoiding her gaze.

“...absolutely no way I’m giving my mother that,” she was saying when he realised he’d completely lost track of the conversation.

“Hey,” he cut in as gently as he could.

“What?”

“Sorry, but I totally missed half of that. I... I was trying to listen, but there’s something I have to tell you and it’s... big."

“Huh. Okay, go for it then. Not like I expected much feedback from you when it came to fashion, really.”

He snorted out a laugh in rueful admission. The only clothes he’d cared about were uniforms and only because of what they represented. “So... um, good news or... the ones you probably won’t like first?”

Analisa hummed thoughtfully. “Good news, life is short. But keep paying attention to the road, I don’t want to die without finding out your dirty little secret!”

He refrained from rolling his eyes at her. “I quit the team. My lawyer sent them a letter.”

They hadn’t responded yet, but they didn’t need to. The one thing he’d never needed their permission for was leaving, after all.

She actually squealed. “Daaamn!” There was a soft thud on the dashboard, but at least she didn’t hit him. “Why did you tell me this in the car?” she demanded. “I need to hug the hell out of you! And get you drunk. You are free , Kallen, this is huge .”

“I still have the court case,” he reminded her, even though he was smiling so hard his cheeks hurt.

“Fuck that noise,” Analisa told him. “Today we celebrate . You might need to leave your car in Yupli so we can get blind drunk.”

“I’m sensing a pattern here,” he commented, glancing her way. “We can also get back home and drink there.”

Her horrified expression made him laugh. “At our parents? Come on, Kal, live a little.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “Um, actually, while you are this happy, I’m gonna tell you my other news. You know Levy?”

Analisa made a low sound in her throat, somehow conveying her scepticism without a word, but then added some just in case, “Your knight in shining armour, yeah.”

Kallen would hardly call him that. Levy had helped him with heat and obviously with lure, but Kallen wasn’t expecting the alpha to save him from anything. To help, yeah, but he was quite ready to help him in turn too. “Only if I’m a knight too,” he told his friend because he wanted this point very clear from the start. “I know you don’t think much of most alphas, but... Well,” he stole a glance at her, trusting the lane not to move from its straight line. “I want you to give him a chance.”

Analisa’s eyebrows nearly reached her hairline. “And why is that?”

Kallen looked back at the road. “Because he is my boyfriend.”

“Oh,” her voice rose in both surprise and something shockingly close to excitement. “Since when?”

He turned his head long enough to see her mouth was open, eyes bright. “A week? I mean, a week. He came over for a job interview and we... Well, he called me, and we met and we got together, basically.”

She groaned. “Seriously? That’s all I get? Was it romantic at least?”

It wasn’t an easy question. It’d felt so good when Levy had said yes to his proposal, but asking someone to move cities to be with you wasn’t exactly romantic, was it? Except for how Kallen had only done it when Levy had made it clear he was willing to. “Yes,” he decided. “He went and found himself a job he wanted here, without even telling me. He didn’t ask me for anything, he just got himself close enough that I could reach out for him if I wanted.”

His friend sighed. “Damn, I think you are right. To have someone who just says: I’m here because I want to be with you, but without any expectations...” She trailed sounding wistful.

Kallen had to look at her again. “So you approve?”

It wasn’t like he needed her approval, but... Well, it would be nice to have, and it wouldn’t hurt to know she thought what he was doing was safe. He knew he had to learn to trust his own gut after years of ignoring it, but for now he liked having other people who saw his life and choices and gave him their blessing, letting him borrow some of their faith while he gathered his own.

She glared half-heartedly, then shrugged. “I guess there must be some pretty great alphas, to make up for all the shitty ones. Keeps the balance or something.”

“Now you just have to find one for yourself,” he teased, eyes back on the road.

“Fuck off, Kallen,” she told him, but she didn’t sound angry.

THE DISTANCE WAS DIFFICULT , but there was an edge of anticipation to it too. Kallen had already been to his first viewing, a small flat in walking distance of his parents’ home. The good news was that everything was cheaper than in Jiro, which meant Levy’s budget would extend further than he’d anticipated. Their budget now, since he’d made it clear he’d accept nothing but them paying an equal amount. The bad news was that having seen pictures of the house in the water, Kallen had found several faults with the flat within minutes. That night when he’d told Levy about it, he’d got interested noises but not particular enthusiasm from him either.

He'd have liked to have Levy there with him, surely finding something positive about the place since he was always pretty good at that. Or even just pointing out how they’d fill it with their own things—where Levy’s cutting boards would go, and admitting it would be hard but they could hang his outsized television on the living room wall.

At the same time, the distance was, strangely, also a blessing. Kallen had asked and Levy had said yes, and now Kallen had agreed to living together. They’d lived together before and it’d been good, but of course they’d done that while ignoring a metaphorical herd of elephants in the room. Kallen knew he still had his own issues, and Levy...

Well, he was going to go into heat pretty much the moment Levy got back and he still hadn’t managed to bridge the subject because he was too worried about sending his alpha boyfriend into another panic attack at the suggestion that he fuck Kallen. Not having an alpha for a heat was dangerous but possible. And now that he’d done a little reading, he knew it was technically an alpha’s pheromones that convinced an omega’s body that they were doing their very best to get pregnant, though anal penetration of any kind helped a lot too.

They could do something else.

But it wasn’t what Kallen wanted. Of course, if Levy couldn’t do it... Well, he wouldn’t ask for it. He wanted nothing that wasn’t freely given and mutually enjoyed. It was only that... It would be hard and if he wasn’t going to get it, at least he wanted to know ahead of time. The pill was out, but he could get a dildo.

And if he wanted to know, he had to ask. They had to talk about it sometime , preferably before it exploded in their faces. They could fuck or not, but Kallen needed to know .

He remembered how Levy had taken care of him during the last heat he’d been present for, providing food and breaks, navigating the tensions with the two older alphas seamlessly. He didn’t doubt Levy would take care of him.

But he wasn’t so sure Levy would take care of himself .

Kallen didn’t know if Levy hadn’t thought about heat, or he just didn’t want to ruin the happy mood by talking about it. But if he trusted Levy as much as he did, he had to trust him to be able to have difficult conversations, didn’t he?

He was up late again, waiting for Levy to come home after his volunteering, shower and be ready to talk to him while he made himself dinner.

They’d been chatting about food for a while when Kallen saw the clock and decided he’d done enough dilly-dallying.

“So... I need to ask you something.”

Levy seemed impervious to his nerves, eyebrows raised, face relaxed. But he also put down the knife, leaning on his hip against the kitchen counter. “Shoot.”

Kallen kept his eyes on his hands, tapping lightly on the counter now that they were out of work. “Well, you know how I... How you let me blow you and.... do things to you?”

“Yes,” Levy said with a little sigh, openly pleased about it. He was fucking dimpling, too, like a small burst of light in the dimness of Kallen’s bedroom.

Kallen found he was smiling back despite his nerves. He’d been reluctant to let himself remember that one time, afraid to discover he’d made it up. He hadn’t, though, and to see Levy hadn’t only allowed it but that it made him smile like that sent a shiver up his spine. “Well, like, I need to know what things not to do, you know? Like—” He coughed, fighting the words sticking in his throat. “Like fucking.”

He waited, letting the silence build until he thought it would break him. Levy had dropped his gaze and gone very still. His chest was visibly moving from the angle the phone caught him at, but Kallen couldn’t decipher his expression. He wasn’t scrambling off the bed this time, but that could be because there was no bed and all he had to do to get away was hang up. “Levy?”

“Just a minute,” came the answer in a voice too rough by half, but for all he’d asked, he was already shaking himself, hands coming to squeeze at his elbows like nerves taking shape. When he met Kallen’s eyes again, his face was a little dazed, his eyes dark. “It’s just... that’s quite an image, you know?”

“Yeah?” Kallen’s breath hitched, the relief so intense he was nearly ready to give up on the whole thing just not to tempt fate again.

“I like the idea,” Levy admitted, thick and low. And fuck, he did , didn’t he? Kallen had asked on the phone to be sure he wasn’t using lure and influencing him at all. Not that there was any risk of him being in a lure state with the way his heart was racing. Levy kept going, so genuinely eager Kallen almost couldn’t bear it. To see his own desire reflected so clearly. “So you’d... Lie me down like you did, and tell me to stay?” The angle of the phone framed his throat as it worked, and Kallen found himself licking his own lips remembering the taste and strength of it. He was so fucking annoyed at himself for not leaving any marks now. “And you’d do whatever you wanted to me, right? Take what you wanted?”

Kallen closed his eyes, inhaling deeply through his nose and digging his fingers into his knee so as not to reach for his dick instead. Not yet, at least. He was dizzy, relief and arousal and gratitude entangled inside him. He’d been thinking of Levy letting him direct the action, but his boyfriend had upped the stakes instead, he’d lie there and trust Kallen to do whatever he wanted. Even something Levy himself was scared to do. “Yeah.”

“Okay then.” He’d let go of himself to grab the phone and bring it closer to his face.

For a moment, Kallen couldn’t seem to draw breath, then he exhaled slowly. His face was burning, but he was also throbbing in his trousers, hard an uncomfortably confined. “Now?”

Levy inhaled sharply, but nodded. “Yeah.”

Kallen nodded back, biting his tongue to ground himself. If he was doing this, then he was going to be in control. That was the deal, that Levy was trusting him to take care of him. “Is it cold over there?”

“Heating’s on, it’s fine,” Levy said immediately, but he didn’t ask for anything, just watched Kallen with parted lips and reddening cheeks. This was crazy, Kallen thought. Anyone who saw them would have thought...

But no one was there except them. There were no rules except the ones they made.

He grabbed some pillows to put at his back, then closed his eyes, letting himself fall in until he found the oasis. His body responded, muscles unclenching and breathing slowing. It didn’t really matter if it worked on anyone else, as long as it worked on him.

Levy’s eyes were still on him when he opened his own. “I want you on the bed, spread out for me. No clothes,” he said, soft and sure.

His boyfriend actually knocked the phone off wherever he’d placed it and had to scramble to pick it up again. The next few seconds were a blur as he rushed to get to his bedroom.

“You turned off the fire?” Kallen checked when his face came back on, flushed in the low lamp of his bedside table lamp. Levy nodded. “And you are not... like, starving or something?”

Levy laughed. “I’m pretty desperate, but not for food,” he said, eyebrows wiggling.

Kallen nodded and Levy was off. He didn’t make an effort to strip sexily, just pulling the shirt over his head at speed and going off camera to get his trousers off.

“Good,” he praised when Levy came back fully on frame. His skin gleamed and Kallen gulped. “Now slow down.” Levy stopped, phone in his hand, lip caught between his lips. “Is there any food you need to put away?”

His eyes flew to the right towards the kitchen, and Kallen saw him waver. “Do it,” he told him. “Put the phone back on the stand. Now put everything where it should go. I’ll wait for you.”

Levy’s groan was low and frustrated, but he turned around and walked away. Kallen let his eyes closed and gave his cock a squeeze, shuddering hard.

He must have lost track of time because the next thing he knew, his boyfriend was swearing, watching him raptly through the screen. “Not fair.”

Kallen let go of himself, exhaling slowly. “Did you do it?”

The alpha nodded, licking his lips.

“Well done,” Kallen told him, smiling his approval. “I like it when you do what I say.”

It was true, he realised. Levy wasn’t a pushover, but he was more accommodating than anyone Kallen had ever met. But this was different. It wasn’t Levy paying attention to his needs to fulfil them, but trusting Kallen to take what he wanted without asking any questions.

“Do you like it?” he asked, dropping his eyes meaningfully. “Show me.”

And the sight of the alpha’s cock, chubbed up nearly all the way to fullness wasn’t a surprise, but it felt like a prize. “Up,” he said, and smiled when he found Levy’s eyes shadowed with lust.

In his place, Kallen would have been glaring, but the alpha wasn’t even doing anything to speed him along. Almost like he was already spread out on the bed, keeping himself still for Kallen’s hands. Directing him to actually get there felt a bit like playing video games while intoxicated. Levy could of course walk on his own, but Kallen couldn’t help but feel that he was somewhat out of it himself. Only the moment he saw the bed, he dropped the phone again in his haste to get on it. Instead of demanding he fix it, Kallen allowed his left hand to rest on the swell of his cock, giving himself a long pull and pressing his lips together not to make a noise.

The image on the screen cleared and he saw Levy had even turned on the bedside lamp on the other side of the bed for the show. “Move the phone further away,” Kallen told him. Letting go of himself wasn’t even that difficult; in the oasis, arousal was one more sensation, pleasurable but not urgent. “I want to see all of you, laid out for me.”

Levy’s breath hitched loudly enough to be caught by the microphone and he leaned over to do as he’d been asked, a hardened nipple coming close enough to make Kallen’s mouth water. Fuck, he was beautiful. It was difficult not to get distracted as he laid back down on the bed, all muscles and golden skin begging to be licked, touched, adored. Cock standing proud, now fully hard. And just looking at Kallen, lips parted like he was out of breath but not asking for a single thing, absolutely willing to wait for whatever Kallen wanted to give him. To ask.

“Put your hand on your belly.” Levy complied, eyes dropping to follow his own hand as if it wasn’t him directing it. He put it a little lower than Kallen intended, about a hands-width away from his cock. “Now follow the trail up .” There was a little twitch of reluctance before he did it, fingers travelling through the dark hair over his belly. “Slower. Pull on it a little.”

Levy did it, grimacing a little. “Tickles.”

“You said you’d stay still,” Kallen pointed out. “Let me touch you any way I want.”

A little huff, then his throat working. His hand kept going. “Stop now,” he ordered once it’d reached the centre of Levy’s chest. “Put it down, over your heart.” Levy’s whole arm relaxed, hand slight off centre. “Is it going fast?” Levy was already nodding, eyes tracking him across the camera even though all Kallen was doing was sitting. “Good, I want you to be excited now, but when I’m done with you? You are going to be too relaxed to keep your eyes open.”

Directing Levy to circle his own pecs was a singular pleasure. Kallen had touched him there in passing, but he hadn’t had time to explore. Or the patience. Not when he’d known time was running out.

His nipples were visibly hard, dark and big enough to fill Kallen’s mouth if he sucked on them. From the way he kept swallowing every time he circled closer and forgetting to move one of his hands, they also had to be sensitised enough that the indirect stimulation was doing its job. Kallen wasn’t sure he’d have this kind of patience in person, but right then, his voice sounded even when he demanded, “Are you leaking for me yet?”

Levy whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut and tossing his head to the side. Kallen knew he was hard. Not directly, but in the way his boyfriend’s knees, slightly parted, kept tensing as his hips hitched when his fingers got somewhere particularly sensitive.

Levy inhaled raggedly, nodding.

“And you will wait, won’t you?” Kallen asked him. “Until I’m wet and ready to sit on your cock?”

Levy jerked at that, hissing and yanking his left hand away from his chest, and returned only to press at a particular spot.

“Careful now,” Kallen told him. “Show me.”

Levy’s eyes fluttered open. “It’s fine.”

But Kallen didn’t look away, waiting, and the hand lifted, going flat on the bed to get out of his line of sight. All he could see was Levy’s nipple, still peaked. He nodded. “Get the lube.”

He barely managed to bite back a groan when Levy turned his back on him, stretching fully to reach the bedside drawer on his side of the bed. His side, because it was the same one he’d naturally gone for in the hotel, Kallen realised with a little frisson of... something. Nerves or excitement, he wasn’t sure. And then Levy was looking back at him again, holding the bottle and licking his lips almost compulsively. If he’d been there, Kallen wouldn’t have been able to keep from kissing him, or maybe sitting on his face and asking him to put his tongue in him. The image made him clench involuntarily and he gasped at the sensation. He was already wet, which he’d missed somehow, so focused he’d been on the man on the other side of the screen.

“You are making me so wet,” he rasped out, shifting in place as he clenched against the emptiness.

“Yeah?” Levy’s eyes were lowered, even though Kallen could see his own tiny self on the corner and he was cut off at the waist.

He nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. I’m gonna put my fingers inside now, and I’m gonna spread my slick all over your hard cock.” Levy’s eyes shut, fist clenching on the bottle hard enough to make the lid pop and squirt down his hand. Kallen laughed, breathless, already tugging his own boxers off. “Come on, make yourself ready for me. Get it wet. I want you to smell like me.”

The words were just coming, more or less coherent, but he was still centred enough to hear the whine that came right after the last one. “Yeah?” he asked, and scooted down the bed until his bottom half was on camera. “You see how wet you make me?”

Levy dropped the bottle, eyes wide with lust and lips parting to swear.

Kallen let his own eyes fall shut, grabbing at one of his arse cheeks and tugging to expose his hole.

“Kallen...” The word came out strangled, something that in any other context he’d have read as pain. Even then, it got his eyes back to half-mast. He had to see. Levy was flushed, fists clenched.

They’d gone off track somewhere, and it was his job to get them back on it. “You are so hard for me, now slick it up.” He paused, holding back the words requiring as much effort as holding weights over his head at the gym. Levy was fumbling with the bottle, squirting it directly on his erection and shivering. It must have been cold, but maybe that was for the best given how on edge he seemed. Kallen would have been more careful with him, warming it up first.

Not that he’d need to, he was burning up and when he spread his scent all over Levy... He clenched a fist, nails digging hard into his palm and focusing on the pain to centre himself.

The moment Levy closed his hand around his erection, he pushed the tips of two fingers inside his hole, slow and torturous, involuntarily clenching as he finally got some of what he so desperately needed. “Easy,” he demanded. More a reminder than an order, Levy was being good for him, spreading the lube but not jerking it.

“Lie down and close your eyes.” Levy flashed him a look of confusion, but he did it. Kallen could see how hard he was breathing, chest rising and falling fast, though his own heartbeat was drowning the sound. “I’m gonna get on top of you now.” He shifted to his own knees, legs spread and pulled his fingers out with some effort, his hole fluttering in protest. “And you are gonna hold your dick up for me to sit on.” Levy’s hand was already moving to the base to do just that, his lip caught under his teeth, brow furrowed in concentration. “Use your other hand,” Kallen told him. “You are gonna feel me at the head first, my hole opening up against it.” Levy’s left hand was in position too now. “You leaking for me?” he checked again, even like this, it was hard to stay coherent. He got a whimpered affirmation. “Good, I’m gonna take it, gonna take all of it, all of you.”

He pressed three fingers against his hole, more than he normally started with, but he wanted to feel it now. “ Now ,” he panted, and pushed, swallowing against nothing. And he was opening up against the pressure, taking Levy in, deeper and deeper, an edge of pain to the stretch he relished because he’d fall apart right then and there otherwise. And he didn’t want that. He opened his eyes, turned his head and saw Levy’s fist had come down to the base of his cock, like he’d known somehow Kallen would be greedy once he got his cock in him. It took him a moment to understand what else was happening, that Levy was clenching and unclenching his fist, and he had tear his gaze away, his own arse clenching hard for a long moment, hips lifting off the bed, cock leaking a little.

God, what was it going to be like for real if this was...?

“I’ve—” He coughed a little, trying to clear his throat. “I have waited too long, I’m just gonna fuck myself on you now, hard and fast.” Levy’s face turned away from the camera, shoulders coming up as if he was in pain. “Let me hear you,” Kallen asked, suddenly desperate.

Levy’s head turned his way, eyes still shut, lips parted as he gasped for air. Kallen clenched hard against his own fingers, and then he let his gaze fall to Levy’s hands covering his erection. “How do I feel?”

“Hot. So... so hot.” His hips hitched, fist clenching. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I want you,” Kallen told him. “Help me fuck myself on your beautiful cock. Give it to me.” Levy’s left hand started stripping his erection, Kallen’s fingers following along, grinding inside when Levy lingered until he could no longer keep his eyes open and all he had to go on where the little desperate whimpers and groans, the shifting over the sheets that could have been from his own body or his lover’s.

Getting his hand on his cock when pleasure had edged into need had been almost an afterthought. Like he’d forgotten how good it would be, it shocked him into opening his eyes just in time to catch Levy erupting all over himself, a generous alpha load making a right mess and that was enough. Imagining that inside him , hot and possessive and forever.

Fuck, because he wanted forever. He wanted... His own peak knocked every thought out of his head like a wave cleaning up a beach at night. He laid there with his come cooling on his belly and his hand, other hand twisted awkwardly in his arse; the contact was a little painful, and yet not something he could quite give up on yet.

In the end, he had to withdraw because his wrist was cramping. He turned his head towards the camera, instinctively reaching out for Levy the only way he could.

His boyfriend was already looking back at him, looking like he’d run a marathon. And then his eyes crinkled at the corners and his face grew bright and pleased. “ Damn, ” was all he said, but with enough feeling Kallen found his own lips curving upward.

“Yeah?”

Levy nodded. “Fuck yeah.”

Kallen sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, using it to wipe his hands and belly.

“When’s it due?”

“Mmm?” He glanced at the screen.

“Your heat.”

It took Kallen a moment to find the words. “The 18 th ,” he said at last.

Levy had got an elbow under him, though his groin and chest were still covered in semen. His eyes were lost somewhere in the distance, calculating. But they came back to Kallen’s with renewed steadiness. He looked wrecked, his curls in disarray, his mouth red where he’d bitten at it, and his voice was raspy when he spoke, but it brooked no questions, “I’ll book a ticket for the 16 th .”

And it wasn’t necessary, or at least very unlikely to be. But Kallen could hear what he was being told: I’ll be there for you. And to that, he couldn’t say no.