Chapter Four #2
Pel gasped. He knew the moment he’d succeeded.
He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t this.
He could feel Tor, feel his magic in a way that was difficult to describe.
He’d already been touching the other man, after all.
Magic touching, it turned out, was completely different.
It filled him with warmth and a sense of Tor that he hadn’t had before.
They’d touched virtually everywhere physically, but this was a different way to connect.
It felt dizzyingly intimate, and Pel struggled to remind himself that many people did this casually.
Newly Manifested teens often checked strength, and many adults casually checked compatibility. It shouldn’t be a big deal.
Pel honestly couldn’t imagine ever doing this—or wanting to do this—with anyone else.
He’d always thought of Tendrilling as that visible connection of magic twining around two clasped hands. He’d thought of it as something external—and therefore hard for Unremarkable.
But it was so much more than that. Yes, their joined hands were the connection point, but the magic thrummed through his entire body, lighting up every part of him, a bit of Pel in Tor, and a bit of Tor in Pel.
It gave him a glimpse of what it would be like if they bonded, when that magical exchange would be permanent.
Just at the moment, it sounded like the best idea ever, but he was pretty sure that was the magical high talking—and he hadn’t even thought Unremarkable could get those.
Sternly, he reminded himself that this was all new—the Tendrilling, the sex, the relationship. He was no doubt overreacting.
But it was just so… warm and happy and welcoming and Tor. He’d never felt anything so beautiful.
Pel opened his eyes and looked at their clasped hands, where magic swirled. He couldn’t actually tell whose magic was whose. It was all fused together and swirling around their skin. Not searching anymore, because Tor’s magic had found what it was looking for.
In this moment, they could be equal.
He finally tore his gaze away from their hands and looked up at Tor, who was already watching him. As soon as their eyes connected, Tor grinned, and Pel grinned helplessly back.
“It worked,” Pel said blankly, still a bit stunned.
Tor’s smile widened. “It sure did. Better than it’s ever worked for me before.”
Shyly, Pel asked, “Really?”
Tor nodded, eyes alight. “Really. I’ve never felt this compatible with someone before. And also oddly like I could climb this mountain in a single bound. And I still don’t like mountains.”
Pel could do nothing but laugh. “I think it’s a magical high.”
Tor nodded. “It must be. It’s stronger than I expected. And kind of awesome.”
“Yeah, it is.”
Pel sounded very smug, and he didn’t even feel bad about it. The way Tor was behaving, there was no mistaking this for some casual connection that didn’t matter, and Pel couldn’t help but be delighted.
“Thank you for having the courage to do this,” Tor told him, expression turning a bit rueful.
“I kept telling myself that I didn’t want to scare you off, but the truth is, I wasn’t totally sure you wanted this.
” His gaze slipped. “You haven’t wanted to tell anyone, and so I thought you didn’t want anything more than what we were doing. ”
Pel was stunned. “But you didn’t say anything about telling anyone else, either!”
Tor glanced up, brow furrowed. “Because it’s your castle. You get to decide what and when anyone else knows.”
Grimacing, Pel said, “I didn’t realize that was a blanket statement forever. I figured you weren’t interested in making it public anymore. And you showed me how not to get people pregnant, like there’d be other people in my future.”
Tor’s face was suddenly creased with amusement. “And anytime you said something that mentioned me heading off, I assumed the same thing. That you were envisioning a future without me in it.”
“Trying to face up to reality, not a preference,” Pel said, feeling suddenly even more buoyed up than just with the Tendrilling alone. “We’re kind of terrible at communicating, aren’t we?”
Tor laughed. “I thought we were doing pretty well, but clearly, we need to keep working at it.” He cleared his throat and looked a little uncertain, but then he announced, “I want to keep doing this with you. I like my future with you in it.”
Pel blew out an unsteady breath. “Me, too. I mean, with you in my future.”
Tor beamed. “Good.”
“I was scared this wouldn’t work,” Pel blurted out. “I mean, I know it works for everyone, but what if it didn’t, or what if we weren’t compatible? You were repelled by someone, weren’t you?”
Tor nodded, his expression going serious.
“I can’t for a single second imagine being repelled by you.
With the lady in question, while I was physically attracted to her, I didn’t like her.
I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with her.
Instead, we had the most awkward dance in the history of ever, and believe me, that was enough. ”
Pel made a face. “That really must have been awkward. I feel a little bit sorry for her, though I’m definitely glad that you’re not bonded to someone else.”
It had been, after all, part of why Pel had delayed this. What if the magic had found him wanting? Having Tor repelled by him was the stuff of his nightmares.
“Wasn’t going to happen,” Tor said with a flattering amount of certainty.
Pel looked down at their still-joined hands, at the magic pulsing between them.
“I found you,” Tor said, making Pel smile involuntarily.
Because Tor had—while running away from his brother and his order to marry someone he didn’t want.
“Were you really worried your brother would force you to bond with the wrong person?”
“I know he would.” Tor’s voice was tight, his words clipped.
“Why?”
“Because that’s what he did with Ada,” Tor said in a voice that Pel almost didn’t recognize.
Pel blinked. Tor hadn’t talked about his sister terribly often, but it was clear that he loved her very much.
Pel had understood that the relationship between brothers was sometimes antagonistic, but underneath it all, it was clear that Tor still loved him.
And much as he complained about the man’s behavior towards Tor, Pel had never gotten the idea that High King Varex was truly either a bad king or a bad brother.
But this?
“She’s married to Prince Thurnil, isn’t she? King Stronex’s heir?” Pel asked as it slowly occurred to him that Tor had never once mentioned Princess Adexa’s husband in Pel’s hearing.
“Yes,” Tor said stiffly. “A political alliance, of course. She’s never admitted how terrible a fit it is, and Varex won’t listen when I try to bring it up. He still believes he made the best choice for everyone.”
Pel was silent for a moment and then ventured, “Isn’t it possible that it was best for the United Realms?”
“Ada is part of the realms, isn’t she?” Tor snapped, voice hard and angry.
Pel reared back, and Tor winced. He squeezed Pel’s hand.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “That wasn’t directed at you.
I understand the idea behind political alliances as much as I’m uninterested in making one.
It’s just… There are different ways to forge alliances.
It wasn’t like we were on the brink of war with Lotar.
Yes, continuing to ensure peace is important, but we’ve been at peace for more than twenty-five years.
We’re the United Realms. We don’t have enemies right now.
But it’s like Varex fixed on one solution and didn’t listen to any other viewpoints. ”
“Maybe he didn’t realize it was a bad match?” Pel tried.
Tor’s expression was mutinous. “I only had to look at them to know that it was a terrible choice. Does being king mean completely forgetting how to be a brother?” Tor’s face was etched with lines of distress.
“Being repelled by someone is a terrible feeling. All you want to do is get away from them. I put up with it for one dance. Can you imagine what that would be like constantly with your bonded? What does that even do to a relationship?”
It sounded terrible, though Pel didn’t think it would help to point that out.
Instead, he said quietly, “I’m sorry that happened to your sister.”
Tor blew out a breath. “She loves her niblings. Well, her siblings-in-law, but they’re so young they call her Aunt Ada.
She adores them, and I hope that feels like enough.
” He sucked in another breath and let it out slowly, staring at things that Pel couldn’t see.
“Thurnil usually steers clear when I’m there because he knows I won’t accept him being rude.
He acts like he’s not married, apparently.
” His fingers tightened on Pel’s hands and then relaxed again.
“Ada always tells me that everything is fine and asks me not to make a fuss. And that’s infuriating, but it’s her life. ”
Pel squeezed his hand. “And you can love and support her in whatever she chooses. Do you think your brother would try to unbond them if she asked?”
The only person who could sever a bond was the ruler to whom the bonded owed their Fealty.
Pel didn’t really understand it, but there was apparently something about the bit of magic they pledged with their Fealty forming a connection that allowed potential intervention with the magical bond.
Even then, there was no guarantee of success.
Bonds were almost always for life—and the death of one partner could kill the other.
Tor swallowed, hesitated, and then said after a stilted moment, “I don’t think the High King would.”
Pel nodded. Not that Forex was any great support, but Pel still knew that there was a difference between him as a father and as king. “In that case, as hard as it is to hear, this is the life that she’s living right now. Your job is to give her all your love and support.”
“I’ve offered to kill him,” Tor pointed out. “She won’t let me.”
Pel snorted. “I like her already.”
Looking at Tor, Pel knew he’d never risk it, not when it could mean Princess Adexa’s death. But he had a feeling it was that more than any other consideration that was staying Tor’s hand.
Tor flashed a brief grin. “I know she’d like you.” He sighed. “And look, maybe I’m just not as good a person as she is, but I wouldn’t put up with something like that. I won’t. It’s why I ran away.”
Pel nodded slowly. “Because the High King wanted you to bond with the wrong person.”
Tor hesitated for a moment, and then said, “That wrong person. The one who repelled me.”
Pel blinked at him. “Seriously? Of all the people he could possibly pick, he chose the one who repelled you? Did he know that?”
Tor made an aggravated sound. “I tried to tell him when he gave me those asinine orders, but he wouldn’t listen. I didn’t tell him before because while I’m a bit of an ass, and I don’t actually like her that much, it’s not the sort of thing you want talked about, you know?”
No, Pel could only imagine how terrible it would be to be known as the person who’d repelled the High Prince.
“So you ran away.”
“So I ran away,” Tor agreed. “And came here, and found you. And I don’t understand exactly how all those things fit together, but I’m so very grateful.”
“Me, too,” Pel said.
Tor had fled here to get away from the woman who repelled him, the one whom he was apparently meant to bond with.
No wonder Tor had kept it quiet. Once you were talking about royal families, there weren’t that many options.
Females of a marrying age? There was really only Princess Marwila, who was in Bessar, next door to Tond, or—
Pel let out an incredulous bark of laughter that didn’t sound very amused.
“Princess Terila! She’s the one who repelled you? Seriously?”