Chapter Five
Pel
Seriously,” Tor agreed, worried eyes pinned on Pel.
Because of course Princess Terila had tried to Tendril Tor on the dance floor when she wouldn’t even give Pel the time of day from the moment she’d heard his name.
Pel huffed out a breath, feeling his shoulders slump. He clasped Tor’s hand a little harder, and Tor squeezed it comfortingly. “Figures.”
“What did she do to you?” Tor asked carefully.
On the point of clamming up as he always did, Pel realized suddenly that he didn’t have to. Tor had been incredibly honest with Pel, and the idea of being able to do the same was unexpectedly appealing.
He sucked in a breath and blew it out. “Honestly, nothing terribly interesting. She rejected me. Anyone could have predicted it.” Pel stomach still cramped at the memory. “My father actually asked me to complete a task, and I went off to Vayrin filled with so much resolution.”
It had been foolish all round, really. Pel wasn’t attracted to women, but it was the first significant thing his father had asked of him since he’d Manifested, and Pel had been sure he could somehow make it work.
“I didn’t remember Princess Terila that well, and I knew that I was Unremarkable and the middle brother and not nearly as appealing as Bavil—but Princess Terila’s set to inherit, so it’s not like she’d want to rule here in Tond anyway.
So I thought I could, I don’t know, make my case.
” Pel snorted at the memory of his sheer na?veté.
“But the second she heard my name, she turned up her nose at me. She pretended not to notice me when I came to ask her to dance that evening. She picked an Illustrious partner and commented on how she didn’t deserve to deal with people who were beneath her. ”
Tor’s grip on Pel’s hand grew almost painful, and he ground out, “I should have denounced her on the dance floor.”
Pel blinked, refocusing on the here and now, and his stomach swooped as he realized that Tor was furious on Pel’s behalf.
Giving the punishing grip a gentle squeeze, he leaned in and kissed Tor, keeping up the undemanding pressure until the tension drained out of Tor’s shoulders and his death grip eased on Pel’s hand.
“Listen,” Pel said when he drew back. “It did a number on my self-esteem, I won’t deny that.
She wasn’t the first, nor will she be the last to think that I have less value because I have less magic.
But if she hadn’t rejected me, I would have done my level best to convince her to bond with me because that was what my father wanted and it was a sensible alliance. What if I’d succeeded?”
Tor’s expression was suddenly fierce. “She can’t have you.”
Pel could only smile helplessly at the other man, because this had happened three years ago, and they had amply proved how Princess Terila didn’t have the slightest interest in him.
“You’re right,” Pel confirmed. “She definitely can’t have me. Not even if she wanted me, which I’m happy to report she doesn’t. It seems like she wants you.”
Pel was torn between scorn and laughter as he realized how tangled up this was.
Pel had gone to Vayrin because he’d been ordered to want Princess Terila, but she hadn’t wanted anything to do with him.
She’d wanted Tor, but he’d been repelled by her.
When he was ordered to go after her, he’d instead come to Tond, and he’d found Pel, the man Princess Terila had rejected.
It would be unbelievable, except that there weren’t that many royal families in the United Realms.
“She can’t have me,” Tor said stubbornly. “I won’t do it.”
He was almost pouting, and although part of Pel wanted to laugh, he couldn’t blame Tor, not if his sister was unhappy in her marriage and was perhaps repelled by her husband.
“But what if your brother orders you to do it?”
Ignoring the High King of the United Realms was no easy task.
Tor eyed him speculatively. “I can’t bond with her if I’m already bonded to someone else.”
Pel snatched his hand away, breaking the Tendrilling. He felt immediately empty and weirdly bereft, like his insides didn’t fit together anymore. He scrambled to his feet, taking a few steps to try to calm the restless feeling inside him.
He hadn’t dared even think such a thing, and now it was being dangled right in front of his face.
“Tor, that’s a terrible idea. You already know the High King isn’t going to be happy about any of this.
And you want to show up already bonded to me?
I’m from Tond.” He started ticking the facts off on his fingers in his agitation.
“I’m a man. I’m the middle brother. I’m Unremarkable.
I’m not even handsome! There is literally not a single thing your brother will like about me! ”
By the end, he was almost yelling.
Tor climbed to his feet so that Pel wasn’t towering over him.
“Tond is still one of the realms,” Tor pointed out reasonably. “And we don’t have a marriage alliance with you.”
“Bavil or Larexa would make more sense,” Pel pointed out fatalistically.
If the High King had planned for Tor to marry the Illustrious Princess Terila and rule with her in one of the largest countries in the United Realms, then Pel was a hilariously poor choice. Bavil and Larexa weren’t much better, but at least one was set to inherit, and the other was Extraordinary.
“I’m not interested in either of them, nor are they interested in me,” Tor said matter-of-factly.
“But they’re better choices! Any other person would be a better candidate than me!”
“According to whom?” Tor demanded.
The man was suddenly right in front of Pel, and he reached out to cup Pel’s face, hands warm and reassuring.
Tor’s bright blue eyes were sharp and intent as they gazed at Pel, and he felt a little as though he was drowning in their blue depths.
Tor’s voice was measured as he said, “Our bond would still be a political alliance to those who value such things. But it’s not the reason I want to get bonded. I don’t need a realm to rule, and I already have a lot of magic, Pel. I don’t need more. I just need you.”
Pel’s eyes stung, and he blinked back tears.
He couldn’t doubt the sincerity in Tor’s voice, but the thought of being presented to the High King while embodying so many things the man wouldn’t want for his brother was terrifying.
Princess Terila had been casually dismissive, and she’d crushed Pel.
High King Varex mattered a great deal more.
He could order Tor to do what he wanted, and failure to comply could have disastrous results.
“Your brother could unbond us. That could kill us.”
“He wouldn’t risk it.”
But Pel caught it, the tiny hint of doubt in Tor’s eyes.
“You could become weaker,” Pel pointed out.
It was part of why people were more likely to bond within the same magical levels.
When their magic bonded, there was a magical transfer, though it was usually small.
When you were already of similar strength, it didn’t make a noticeable difference.
But if you were very different? It could make Pel stronger—at Tor’s expense.
“I don’t care,” Tor said flatly.
“Maybe I care,” Pel argued, frustrated. He brought his hands up to cover Tor’s where they cupped his face. “I don’t want to be accused of using you.”
“You’re not—”
Pel continued, “And I don’t want to be used as a weapon.”
Tor flinched. He swallowed visibly. “I don’t want to use you as a weapon. I just want to bond with you. I love you.”
Pel’s breath caught. He exhaled shakily, tried inhaling again, and then repeated it for good measure because it would be utterly mortifying if he passed out.
When he was pretty sure he was neither going to pass out or cry, he smiled, hoping his lips didn’t wobble as much as he was afraid they did.
Tor drew Pel into a kiss. Pel let his hands fall to Tor’s waist, fingers somehow curling into fists in the fabric of Tor’s tunic, like he couldn’t risk letting Tor go.
Tor loved him. He wanted to bond with Pel, even if it was a terrible idea. It felt almost as though they were still Tendrilling, a rush of emotion tumbling through him, exhilarating and terrifying.
Tor pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then to his chin, his eyelids.
“I love you,” Tor repeated, murmuring against his skin. “I want to bond with you. I’ve wanted to for longer than is probably wise. But I mean it, Pel. I love you.”
Pel blew out another breath. “I love you, too. Even though I’m terribly afraid that you’re a fool.”
Tor just smiled at him.
Pel swallowed, licked suddenly dry lips. “I’ll only bond with you under one condition.”
“Name it,” Tor said promptly.
Pel forced the words out. “With your brother’s approval.”
Tor’s face fell. “But—”
“Hear me out.”
Looking like he still wanted to protest, Tor nevertheless nodded.
“No matter how much you want me, you know that your brother isn’t going to approve, certainly not at first.”
“Pel,” Tor protested.
Pel shot him a look, but Tor shook his head obstinately.
“Sorry, yes, you can say what you want in a moment,” Tor told him.
“But if Varex doesn’t approve of you, then that’s because he can’t see what’s right in front of him.
You’re kind, hard-working, and completely dedicated to Tond and its people.
I also happen to think that you’re extremely sexy and incredible in bed, but I realize he’s probably not judging by those criteria. ”
Spluttering a laugh, Pel said, “Yeah, no, we’re definitely not talking to your brother about any skills I may or may not have in bed.”
Tor went on, “You have so many wonderful qualities. Please don’t discount yourself.”
“Thank you,” Pel said, feeling an unfamiliar swell of emotion that he thought was pride. “That means a lot to me. But the fact remains that I’ve got some undesirable qualities, too.”
Tor opened his mouth again, but Pel stared him down. Looking mutinous, Tor nevertheless shut his mouth.