Chapter Five #2
Smiling faintly, Pel continued, “Yes, if we bond before we see him, you’ll have won the first round and stymied his attempt to bond you to Princess Terila.
But you can’t promise that he wouldn’t try to undo it.
Is that really how you want to start our marriage?
Do you think you’re going to be able to fix things with your brother if you do this behind his back? ”
“I don’t care,” Tor said fiercely.
“Yes, you do,” Pel said gently.
He could never have gotten this close to the man without realizing how much he loved his brother even when he despaired of him. Pel understood the feeling all too well.
Tor still looked mutinous, so Pel leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I should know, shouldn’t I?”
“What happened?” Tor asked.
Pel sighed. “It was a little too much at once. I mean, nothing was the same from the moment that I Manifested as Unremarkable.”
“Because your father is an ass,” Tor said promptly.
Pel didn’t argue. It was kind of nice to have someone squarely on his side.
“My mother died when I was fourteen,” Pel said quietly.
Tor tugged Pel into a hug. “Oh, Pel, I’m so sorry.”
Pel sighed and leaned into the other man’s strength and acknowledged, “It wasn’t a good time.
Father took to bed with the breaking of their bond.
He didn’t cope well, and things were never the same after that.
So when I Manifested as Unremarkable, it felt like it was just one more misery to heap on him. ”
“But not the slightest bit your fault,” Tor pointed out fiercely. “You are who you are, and you are definitely not a misery.”
Pel drew in a deep breath. “I know. I even mostly believe it. But it was… hard. I’d hoped, of course, that I would be Extraordinary. I even thought that maybe my father would feel better, and instead—”
Tor finished the sentence for him. “And instead, he reacted in typical fashion and was an ass?”
Pel sighed and relaxed further into Tor’s strong embrace.
“Yes,” he admitted in a very quiet voice. “Bavil protected me as much as he could. Forex didn’t want to see me much after that, which made him easy to avoid, at least. He started to drink more heavily, and we mostly ignored one another. I tried to be useful in other ways.”
“You succeeded,” Tor assured him.
“I like to think so.” Pel smiled faintly, though it faded. “Then Larexa manifested as Extraordinary when she was fifteen. Father was delighted, but it seemed to make him even more irritated with me, like I was a terrible aberration.”
Tor sucked in an audible breath and then said in a very put-upon voice, “I suppose you won’t let me kill anyone, either?”
Pel couldn’t help but laugh, though he pulled back from the hug to look Tor straight in the eye and say very clearly, “No.”
“Fine,” Tor said with another theatrical huff.
Pel felt a warm glow, perhaps absurd under the circumstances, but Tor was so good at lightening the mood and being supportive. He hoped that Princess Adexa felt the same sense of support, whatever her situation was.
“Neither Bavil nor Larexa seemed to care that I was Unremarkable. In fact, they told me frequently that it didn’t matter to them at all.”
“Until?” Tor prompted, a frown furrowing his brow.
“Until I got sent off to court Princess Terila. It ended badly, as I’ve already said.
I took my time coming back. I uh, really didn’t want to tell my father that I’d failed.
In retrospect, I can’t imagine he thought I’d succeed, but proving that I was useless might have made him feel better.
” Tor’s jaw clenched visibly, but he didn’t say anything.
“I stopped in Bessar on my way back, and that’s when I found out that they weren’t even speaking to my family anymore. ”
Tor made a face. “Bavil?”
Pel nodded. “You heard?”
“Just that he was caught with someone he shouldn’t have been with.”
Grimacing, Pel explained, “He was supposed to be courting Princess Marwila. He got caught in an extremely compromising position by her and Sovereign Gornexi. Princess Marwila managed to convince her sibling not to actually kill Bavil. They said that they didn’t want to have anything to do with us ever again and stormed off.
And then I came home, someone else who’d failed to court the person Father had requested. ”
“And your father blamed you because he is an ass,” Tor prompted again.
Pel let out a humorless laugh. “He seemed to think it was understandable but poorly timed that Bavil wasn’t ready to restrict himself to one person.
But the fact that Princess Terila didn’t want anything to do with me was all my fault—even though my father didn’t blame her in the slightest for having high standards. ”
Tor’s jaw ticked. “What if I just punched him in the face?”
Pel’s startled laugh was more genuine this time. “Definitely not. He would take it personally, and you don’t want to start a war.”
“What if I tripped?” Tor asked hopefully. “I could make it look like an accident.”
“As your earnestly flailing fists happened to fall into his face?” Pel was laughing in earnest now. “No, definitely not.”
“I’m sure I could manage it,” Tor told him with a ridiculous waggle of his eyebrows.
“No,” Pel said firmly. “I’ve been dealing with my father for years, and I will continue to do so. No punching him in the face.”
“Fine,” Tor grumbled. “You’re no fun.”
Pel tilted up his face. “Thank you for wanting to defend my honor, even if you’re ridiculous.”
Tor pressed a kiss to his lips. “There’s no limit to how ridiculous I will be for you.”
Pel snorted. Somehow, it felt like truer words had never been spoken, and the thought made him feel warm and cozy.
“So that’s what made everything so weird?” Tor said, frowning a little. “I mean, it’s unfortunate, but it seems like there’s a lot more tension than that.”
“Bavil maintains that it wasn’t his fault, and that it was Princess Marwila and Sovereign Gornexi who overreacted.”
Tor made a face. “That seems extreme. And your brother acts a bit like that with Forex sometimes, but honestly, not the rest of the time, at least as far as I’ve been able to see. Maybe he really didn’t want to court her?”
Pel considered this. “And he thought Father was going to force him? Maybe. I guess. But Bavil still sleeps around, and that particular incident chilled relations so badly between our two realms that we haven’t spoken to one another since then.
Sovereign Gornexi barely acknowledged us at your brother’s wedding, and they ignored Bavil completely at Cala’s naming ceremony.
If Queen Somila hadn’t been there, it might have caused an incident.
Again. Thankfully, she smoothed things over. ”
“I’m glad.”
Pel sighed. “It’s just weird. I thought Bavil actually liked Princess Marwila. And if we’re talking about smart political alliances, one between Tond and Bessar would not go amiss.”
Bessar had started the war by invading Tond and killing Pel’s grandparents.
But Sovereign Gornexi and Princess Marwila’s parents had acquired the Fealty of Bessar only after the previous rulers had been killed in the war.
They weren’t responsible for the invasion; they’d just defended their realm from King Forex’s violent response.
Pel continued, “It was a smart alliance, and instead, Bavil was a total ass.”
“He clearly gets it from your father,” Tor said promptly.
Pel smiled. “I know that people make mistakes, but they need to acknowledge them.”
Tor swallowed and then said after a moment, “Sometimes, that’s harder to do than you’d think. Especially if you’re feeling guilty or you think other people are judging you.”
“So this is my fault?” Pel said, struggling to keep the hurt out of his voice.
“What?” Tor refocused on him. “How could this be your fault?”
“For judging my brother for being an ass.”
Tor shook his head. “No. You’re allowed to feel the way you feel.
” He smiled faintly, though it didn’t reach his eyes.
“After the guards died, it felt like everyone was attacking, so I went on the defensive. Maybe it would all have been different if I reacted differently, but it didn’t feel at the time like I had any choice. ”
Pel wrapped his arms around Tor, who hugged him back. Apparently, they both had things they were defensive about.
Sighing, Pel admitted, “I was coming home to lick my wounds after Princess Terila had dismissed me. And there was Bavil, who’d treated Princess Marwila awfully when they were supposed to be courting.”
“Ah,” Tor said with understanding.
“After we’d both had such dismal results, Father turned his attention to Larexa.
And she told him that no one but someone Extraordinary could possibly do for her because she was Extraordinary herself.
He agreed with her, of course, and so any plans for her were put on hold until they could find someone who would suit her level of magnificence. ”
Tor was silent for a moment. “I’m, uh, not doubting that your sister said that, but isn’t it a little weird that she hasn’t been trying a whole lot harder to get me?”
Truthfully, Pel had never understood why she hadn’t thrown herself at an Extraordinary High Prince.
“Maybe she just doesn’t like you,” he suggested.
Tor pouted. “What’s not to like about me?”
Pel pressed a kiss to those pouty lips. “Absolutely nothing. Everything about you is entirely likable.”
“I am a bit of an ass,” Tor admitted.
“I like you anyway,” Pel assured him.
Tor preened visibly but pointed out, “And I might have run away from my brother.”
“But that’s how we found one another, so that’s all right.”
Tor grinned now. “That’s true. Maybe everything about me really is likable.”
“Except for that ego,” Pel said promptly.
Tor pouted again, and Pel laughed. Tor grinned at him.
“If you want my opinion, which I imagine you don’t, it seems to me like something is going on.”
Pel stiffened for a moment and then settled back against the other man. “Maybe. But it’s been three years, and they’ve never said anything.”
He sort of thought the exclusion spoke for itself.
Conversationally, Tor said, “So we both have really awesome families full of drama, and we’ll feel right at home with one another.”
This surprised a laugh out of Pel. “If you want to look at it like that.”
“I’m sure it’ll be easier to manage when we’re together,” Tor said confidently.
The last three years had been kind of awful, even if Pel had spent a lot of time telling himself that he was better off on his own.
Pel twined their hands together. Even without the Tendrilling, just being connected like this and remembering the Tendrilling gave him a boost.
He couldn’t imagine wanting this with anyone else—but there was still an important consideration.
“I mean it about your brother,” Pel told Tor firmly. “I don’t want to fight with the High King.”
Tor made a face. “No one wants to fight with the High King. He almost always wins. And he has annoying advisors.” He eyed Pel. “Can we keep Tendrilling? And maybe start Blending? On the understanding that we’re working towards a bond once I explain everything to my brother?”
Blending was a precursor to bonding, frequent Tendrilling with one person, sort of like getting the two bodies and magics ready to connect permanently.
Pel was pretty sure that the much smarter thing to do would be to maintain some boundaries between them.
Tor seemed to think that he could convince the High King of the wisdom of their bond. Pel was a lot less certain.
But… if they were going to lose, if Tor couldn’t convince High King Varex of the wisdom of their plan to bond, then would Pel rather have stopped things now or have as long with Tor as he possibly could?
There was only one right answer.
Pel smiled and said, “I’d like that.”
Tor’s face lit up, showing that smile Pel only saw directed at him. Pel was pretty sure he was going to wind up heartbroken, but he’d take every moment with Tor he could get. It would be worth it. Pel would make sure of it.
As they realized that the sun was dipping behind the mountains to the west, they finally packed up and remounted their horses to head back to the castle.
They definitely wouldn’t be training with the guards today.
“Oops.” Tor didn’t sound the slightest bit repentant.
Pel took his duty very seriously, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it, either. He’d Tendrilled for the first time—and rather like every first he’d had with this man, it had been glorious. It meant this was worth fighting for, even if Pel feared it was a fight they were going to lose.