8. EVIELYN’S WISDOM.
Chapter eight
EVIELYN’S WISDOM.
Standing before the grand king’s residence, Emeriel took in the grandeur of the place. The sophisticated decorations, the massive double doors carved with two lions, their mouths open in fierce roars.
The last time she stood here, she had been a slave terrified of her secrets, carrying his dinner.
That was the best part about being back, the freedom from that strangling fear. There were no secrets now. No deception weighing her down. This was who she was.
"Are you ready?" Lord Ottai asked beside her.
She inclined her head and took a step forward.
“One more thing,” he said, halting her. "He does not like to feed. If you try, and his claws slip out, let it go. Don’t push him, or he may claw you up like the others. He’s… not in his right mind."
Emeriel gave a curt nod.
Led into King Daemonikai's bedchamber, she paused at the door while the Urekai maids departed. Then, with a deep breath, she opened it and stepped inside.
His scent hit her first.
It was overpowering. An assault on her senses after two long years without it.
She swayed on the spot, her knees buckling. Gripping the wall, Emeriel tried to steady herself. Everywhere smelled like him.
And there he was. Lying peacefully on the bed.
Magnificent. Handsome. Just as she remembered.
Too much like a dream.
Their bond was dormant, the only thing she had clung to when she made the decision to return. Seeing him again would be easy, she had convinced herself. Without the bond, there would be no feelings.
But that was a lie.
Nothing could have prepared her for the explosion of feelings hitting her. So many at once it made her dizzy.
She was not prepared for the stab in her chest, nor for the butterflies fluttering to life in the pit of her stomach. They spread their wings, soaring, alive and free again.
Emeriel had not felt this much in years.
Her breathing quickened as her eyes drank him in. Ravenously devouring every detail of him.
Control yourself, Emeriel. There is no bond to blame now. This is all you. Have some restraint.
Easier said than done.
She was grateful to be alone with him. No one could see how hard she struggled. How difficult it was to be in the same room with him again.
The effort it took not to rush across the room and collapse on top of him, just to feel his body against hers one more time.
The memories were the hardest.
Those stolen nights in his arms, tucked away at the cottage, making love after love. The fog of heat and the passage of time had blurred the memories, and she had survived by blocking them.
But now, here in this room with him, the years shrank, disappearing, and it felt like yesterday.
The memories that had once been hazy were suddenly vivid, flashing very clearly.
Emeriel’s whole body shook .
She stumbled back out of the room, closing the door behind her. Leaning against it, she gasped for breath. Her knees weak, her heart too fragile.
It was easier to fight for control when he wasn't in sight.
You are stronger than this, Emeriel. Get a hold of yourself.
It took a while, but finally, she felt calmer.
Composed, she re-entered the room and sat on the chair beside his bed, waiting until the tight constriction in her chest loosened. Until breathing became less of a struggle.
"My King," Emeriel whispered. "Hello, My King."
Taking his hand in hers, she gave it a light squeeze. His feverish skin burned against her palm. "How have you been? Where are you?" Once she started speaking, it became easier. "If you can hear me, come back. Your people need you."
The tight coil in her chest began to unwind.
"Very soon, the eclipse moon night will be here. They are terrified to face it alone. There is a famine, and the younglings are starving. They looked at me— me, a human —with hunger in their eyes, instead of disdain. Can you imagine that?"
Clinging to his hand, the heat seeped into her skin. Too hot.
She rose from her chair, fetching the basin of chilled water and a washcloth. Returning to his side, she dipped the cloth into the water, wiping his face.
"You are not leaving them in good hands, My King. Lord Zaiper is eager to rule, but he does not care about the people. Not like you do. They need you. They always need you."
Her hand moved from his brow to his neck. His body radiated a hotness that seemed to climb higher with every passing second.
Peeling back the bedding to wash his body, Emeriel gasped.
His left arm was covered in dark lines, like cracks filled with blackened blood, trailing upwards and disappearing beneath his sleeping clothes.
With unsteady hands, Emeriel lifted his garment, following the grim path, tracing it back to his chest. The thickest, blackest lines pulsed from the center of his chest.
His soul was truly dying.
"Oh, my beloved," Emeriel whispered shakily as she stared at the mark of his slow death.
Her fingers traced the darkened veins, her forehead dropped to his chest. "How could you let grief get you to this extent? You cannot leave like this."
***
IN THE SPIRIT REALM: THE DEAD OCEANS
"Our children won’t talk to me," Daemonikai said.
Evie squeezed his hand, offering comfort.
They were walking hand in hand along the beach, the soft rhythm of the ocean waves lapping at the shore.
“Myka too?”
"Yes." Daemonikai sighed. "I found him earlier, but he wouldn’t say a word. Just… vanished. It’s disheartening."
"I know. We may not remember the moment of our deaths—no dead person does—but we do have some knowledge about the circumstances surrounding them. Myka feels guilty for failing to protect me. And Alvin, for bringing this upon our people. For failing you," Evie said sadly. "I don’t think he will ever forgive himself."
"I wish I could tell them I forgive them," Daemonikai said bitterly. "I wish I could make them see that none of this is their fault. It’s me who should carry that burden, not them."
Every time he got close, their eyes would widen at the sight of him, and they would disappear, like wisps of smoke caught in the wind. Hours later, they would reappear on a different part of the endless shore, and the search would begin anew.
"I wish I could at least talk to them,” he muttered. “But they won’t let me. I have so much to say.”
"I know." Evie rubbed his arm soothingly. "I know, my love."
They walked in silence for a while. The only sounds were the cries of gulls and the ceaseless roar of the ocean.
"Oh, my beloved."
They both stopped, their heads snapping up.
Daemonikai's brows furrowed as he scanned their surroundings. "Did you hear that?"
"I did." Evie was staring at him with soft eyes. "Did you?”
He nodded slowly. "But… you didn’t call me."
"No. She did. The female who is the real reason you are here."
Daemonikai frowned. "You’re confusing me again. I’m here because of you ."
"No, my love. You are lost to the realm of the living because the one thing that should anchor you there—your soul—is dying. And so, your spirit wanders into the otherside. Drawn to this place, the Dead Oceans."
Daemonikai's gaze swept across, taking in the vast expanse of water and sky. "So that's where we are."
"Yes. Every soul on the verge of passing experiences this. Their spirit wanders into the otherside, seeking joy and peace, finding it in the places they yearn for most. Your departed loved ones can sense your presence. They choose whether to come and keep you company."
"Huh. That's something they never taught us in those 'Dead and the Living'' study sessions." Daemonikai smiled. "So you are keeping me company?”
"Yes, I am. Our sons, too.” Evie returned his smile and continued walking, pulling him gently along with her “But whenever you seek them out, they retreat."
Daemonikai's smile faded as he followed. "But why?"
"Come back, beloved."
That voice again. It went through his entire being, spreading like the finest wine. "That wasn’t you."
Evie's head moved from side to side. "You know who."
"It's not possible." His jaw tight, he looked away. "She is far, far away."
"I don't think so. For her voice to pierce the veil between worlds and reach you here, she must be in Urai, close to your physical body," Evie countered, her lips curving into a subtle smile. “She's the first to find you, even here."
Daemonikai’s heart clenched, and he shoved down the feelings stirring inside him.
The emotions he thought he had buried long ago.
"I don’t like it. Reality has no place here," he said. "I want to stay here with you."
"No, you don’t.” Evie stopped walking, turning to face him fully again. “Guilt is a cruel companion, it tarnishes even the most beautiful things."
"This is the second time you are saying that," Daemonikai noted, a frown creasing his brow.
"Guilt drives you, dearest. Not because of our deaths, but because you care for her." Evie raised a hand when he opened his mouth to protest. "Let me finish, please. You believe you dishonor me by acknowledging these feelings. You would rather remain here, not because you truly want to be here, but because reality is more tempting . You're not sure how much longer you can fight what you feel. And fight you think you should… because if you don't, you feel guilty for replacing us. Replacing me."
That was as preposterous as it was untrue. Daemonikai opened his mouth to voice the protest lodged in his throat…
But nothing came out.
His mouth opened and closed, yet no sound followed, because a horse was suddenly trampling on his chest.
She is wrong.
But is she?
Now, a whole herd of horses were stampeding over his chest.
"Don't be like that, Daemon," Evie said gently. "I love you. I will always love you. But I'm not your soulmate. You think I didn’t know how hard it was for you to accept me? Your beast resisted, took his precious time. You wouldn't even go into rut when I went into heat."
Her eyes glimmered with sadness. "At first, I thought something was wrong with me, that I was faulty. But now I see. It was because I wasn’t the one meant for you."
"Don’t say things like that," Daemonikai rasped.
"Ukrae never intended for you to be alone, Daemon. He gave me to you, knowing your true mate wouldn’t come into existence for another five thousand years. She’s your special person. I was just meant to fill the space. You replaced her with me, not the other way around. You dishonor her by denying your feelings, not me."
She cupped his cheek. “She is your fated mate, dearest. The beginning and the end. Let the guilt go. Stop running from what you feel. Stop letting the bitterness and grief win."
Daemonikai gave a hard blink, keeping his eyes dry. "You shouldn’t be so perceptive," he grumbled. "You are not real."
Evie laughed. "You wish."
That same soft laugh that used to stir him up inside. Now, there was nothing.
For the first time, he admitted the truth. The real thing he felt for the female he had spent the last four millennia with was no longer love, it was guilt.
Facing the truth hurt. He should know, he had been running from it for a very, very long time.
"She is yours, my dearest. Don’t throw away something so beautiful, so fulfilling, so wholesome." Evie’s eyes were filled with melancholic tenderness. "Why dwell in the past when the present holds such promise, a chance to shape a future that could be radiant and joyful? Stop hurting yourself. It hurts me to see you like this."
"It's not easy," he said, hoarsely.
"I know." Her voice grew stronger. "But the Daemonikai I know is so strong, he's unbeatable. How can we rest peacefully, knowing our deaths pushed you this far into self-destruction?" She paused. "Why do you think our sons refuse to speak with you?"
Daemonikai’s head snapped up. "What do you mean?"
Evie moved closer, placing her other hand on his cheek. "I only speculate, but if their feelings are anything like mine, then they are burdened with guilt, pain, and deep sorrow. Seeing their father— their strong, unbreakable father —walking every edge of destruction known to our kind, it's a heavy load to carry."
Daemonikai averted his eyes, his chest far too heavy.
"From the feral madness to a dying soul because of them. How do you think it makes them feel?"
Tears fell from his eyes.
"Your boys need to know their father is happy again. They need to see you thriving," Evie murmured, collecting his tears with her fingertips. "You want to alleviate their guilt? Then perhaps you should start by addressing your own.
"How can you tell them to let go, to absolve themselves of blame, when you cannot do the same? Our intelligent sons will see through your bullshit. Before you tell them, show them," Evie stated firmly. "Show them you have moved on, that you are in a happy place. Show them your life isn't on hold because of what happened, because of what they believe is their fault. Show them you are not dying from it."
“You are burning up. I'm trying to wipe you with cold water, I hope you do not mind, Your Grace?" Emeriel’s voice came in again. Soft like water, an ointment to the soul.
A feeling almost like happiness bloomed Daemonikai him. If his heart could beat in this spirit form, it would be racing .
Heavens, he had missed that voice…
"For a male so observant, you are an expert at ignoring what you don’t want to see." She wiped her own tears, her lips curving. "One of those is how deeply you care for Emeriel. That’s her name, right?"
Daemonikai nodded, his cheeks hot.
"You can’t blame your beast, or the bond, anymore, my dearest. Your beast isn’t here, and the bond is not dormant, it's dying, along with your soul. They are not the reason you hear her voice now. Or why you are so desperate to hear more of it."
"Evie, I'm sorry." His guilt, the guilt he could no longer hide, was plain on his face.
He couldn’t pretend anymore.
He didn’t have the strength to keep denying it.
"Don’t be, you dumbass," Evie said with a light chuckle. "I’m rooting for you, Daemon. I always have been. I want you to be happy. I want to look back and know my dearest is alive again. Not just breathing, but truly alive. Anyone can breathe, but not everyone truly lives ." Pain flashed in her eyes. "I want you to live again."