9. BLESSED BONDMATE.
Chapter nine
BLESSED BONDMATE.
"When she left, she took all the color with her, drowning my world in black and white." Daemonika sighed. "I never realized how brightly she lit up my life, from the first day I met her as Galilea, until she was gone."
He closed his eyes, admittedly. "Then… then I was just free-falling into darkness until I hit rock bottom."
Admitting it aloud for the first time was like shedding twelve heavy cloaks Daemonikai hadn't known he was wearing.
"Oh… dearest, I know." Evie gave a kind, watery smile. "I know you better than you know yourself, Daemon."
He breathed deeply, the air suddenly feeling lighter, fresher. He could finally say it without drowning in sorrow, without the rain of guilt.
It was exhilarating.
"I don’t know what I ever did to deserve a woman like you, Evie." Daemonikai smiled.
"I was the lucky one." Evie exhaled a slow breath. "Always have been."
"Galilea made me feel strange things. But I was okay with it, for it distracted me from my misery. Until I found out why she made me feel that way." He stared out at the ocean. "I felt so angry, deceived… Guilty. I thought sending her away was the best thing to do."
"But it wasn’t, was it?"
At first, he felt nothing but emptiness. Then the nightmares came more frequently, followed by dreams of her in his arms, in his life. It was torture.
Here he saw the family he had lost, the empty pit that was once the center of his universe. On the other side, he saw the Soulbond he had lost—a female whose body he craved, whose scent he was addicted to.
Daemonikai had drifted into a new version of hell.
"Those memories…" Evie spoke softly. "The ones you recovered from your feral time… they didn’t make things easier, did they?"
As if that hell wasn’t enough, those lost memories came.
Daemonikai recalled the night they flooded his mind. Vivid, fragmented images.
Emeriel patiently hand-feeding him.
His beast mounting her again and again.
The surge of rage he'd felt as he tore apart the slave master who dared to touch her.
How she'd summoned him to court, and he had answered, driven by a need to protect her. A need to possess. To keep her safe from harm.
Finding a strange contentment in her presence. Emeriel had been his beacon of light in the face of his mindless instincts.
He recalled holding her in his arms in the dead of night as she bravely cuddled against his fur.
Memories of how she'd risked her life repeatedly to be with him. Satisfying his sexlust. Coming to him during her heats, and he, in turn, plunging into his ruts, even in his feral state. His instincts along the line of; Must take her, must make her mine.
“I don’t want you to die.” Memories of her crying as she said those words. She had hugged his beast form in the hallway after he saved her from armed assassins. “They are going to kill you, and it hurts me so much. Please, don’t die.”
“Here,” she had whispered, baring her delicate throat to him. “Drink from me. Take what you need.”
He could still taste the sweet nectar that was her blood, the heavenliness sliding down his throat. He remembered her tears, her pleas for him to stay alive and take his male form again.
Emeriel had loved him wholeheartedly.
In a feral state where he had nothing but pain to give her, she had given him everything.
That was the beginning of his illness.
Daemonikai pulled himself from the swirling vortex of memories and stared at the seashells surrounding him. "Emeriel is a little being stuffed full of love and light."
"The gods do not make mistakes, dearest," Evie agreed.
Now that he was finally opening up, it was easier to confide in her. To pour out his mind… his doubts.
"That girl deserves better than to be saddled with an ancient like me. A male who once razed an entire village to the ground."
"That was millennia ago, dearest.” Evie bent down to pick up a spiraled seashell. “What she deserves is to be with her Soulbond . Let the past stay where it belongs… behind us. You are a better male now. A wonderful one. If you weren't, our people wouldn't be so devoted to you. And they are."
She examined the shell for a moment, a blissful smile on her face, before tossing it back into the ocean. "You've already secured your place in history as Urai's greatest ruler, a title you'll hold for all eternity. I am so proud of the male you've become."
"Our people don't like her, because of what she represents." Daemonikai's eyes trailed the movement of the shells as they vanished beneath the waves. "They hate the idea that my Soulbond is human. They would have killed her two years ago if I hadn't set her free."
Evie’s smile faded. She nodded, understanding in her eyes. "The people will need time. They love you deeply. In time, they will come to accept and protect what you care about. I have faith that Emeriel will win them over."
She paused, turning to look at him. "But don't let their reservations become the wedge that drives you apart again, dearest. For five millennia, you have lived for them and their expectations. You put them first, as a king should, and you love them greatly. But it's time you did something for yourself, my love. Damn everyone else. After all, you lost us while saving them."
Daemonikai flinched, her words stinging like a slap.
Evie took his hand into hers. "It's the truth. You lost us saving them, and look at what it's doing to you. You saved thousands of lives that night, but the ones who could have kept you sane and anchored were lost.
"And because of that, you are walking every edge of death, leaving them unprotected and at the mercy of someone like Zaiper. In the end, you are no use to anyone this way. Not them, not yourself. This time, be selfish, my dearest. Take what you want. Put Emeriel first. Protect her. Don’t lose your Soulbond because of our people."
Daemonikai absorbed her words, letting them wash over him. A profound silence settled between them, broken only by the rhythmic crash of the waves.
"Do you know why your soul is dying, beloved?" Evie asked.
Yes.
Daemonikai had always told himself it was because of his grief. That was the story he had clung to when the symptoms first showed.
But deep down, where the sun never touched, barricaded by walls and locked with an iron key, he knew the truth. Of course, he did.
It was because of Emeriel.
She was his greatest loss.
And that, had sent his guilt into overdrive.
Evie nodded, his silence confirmation enough. "Now, will you go to your Soulbond and reconcile with her? I hope you make things right with her. When the time is right, your spirit will return here, not because your soul is dying, but to say goodbye. And then, your sons will be ready."
Daemonikai came to a stop, turning to look at her once more. It had always been easy to talk to Evie.
While others saw him as the grand king, Evie had always seen beyond the crown, past the title, to the male beneath. The mortal, with his own feelings, fears, imperfections, and insecurities.
"I fear I don't know where to begin," Daemonikai admitted, letting his worry show. "I yearn to try again with her, but I might fail. What if my heart is too damaged? I care for Emeriel, I miss her terribly, but what if I can't love her the way we were meant to? What if I'm too empty?"
"Daemon—"
"I hurt her so badly the night after her secret came out, and in the days that followed. What if I have burned the bridge between us forever and we can't find our footing? What if we can’t find our way back to each other?"
"Too many what ifs, my dearling." Evie sighed, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Even in spirit, you overthink,”
Then, her expression turned serious. "The best you can do is give it a chance, dearest. Open yourself to the possibility, take it one step at a time, and give each step your best effort. You two will figure it out. You are both hurting, and you can heal each other." She looked around. "The first step is to find your way back home. This is not the place for you."
"Thank you—"
"Shh." Evie pressed a finger to his lips. "None of that. Thank you , for being the best bondmate any woman could ask for. You made my life fulfilling. Now, go back and live your own."
"I don’t know the way back," Daemonikai confessed.
Evie’s smile grew softer as she stepped away. "Follow her voice, and it will lead you through the deathmines, to the boundary between worlds. It might take time, but you will find your way.”
Her presence became lighter, almost ethereal. “Be strong, my unbeatable dearest. And be careful. The crossing is perilous. Not many make it through the Cold Sea. I hope you do."
Daemonikai stood there, watching her form dissolve into the soft glow of the otherworld.
Her words remained, echoing through him. He would follow Emeriel’s voice. He would find his way back.
No matter the obstacles. No matter how long it took.
***
"There is not much I can do."
She stopped pacing, turning to glare at Zaiper. "What in the burning fires of hell does that mean? Do something about this!"
The Emeriel Sinai faced this morning was a far cry from the timid male slave she had encountered two years ago. The change… everything was different. Sinai hated to admit how much it unnerved her.
Now Zaiper was saying this nonsense? "Do something to send them away! They do not belong here!" Sinai raged.
"I said there is not much I can do!" Zaiper roared, his voice so forceful Sinai’s legs froze.
"Ottai is not budging an inch on this. First, he released my prisoners awaiting execution for stealing grain, and now this! If I’d known he planned to bring those girls back, I would have put a stop to it before they were brought here. But now, even the people are aware."
Sinai forced herself to tamp down her anger. Zaiper was already on edge, and she needed him calm.
"Since when do the people care about Emeriel, anyway?" she hissed. "Last I checked, they were placing bets on who got to kill her first."
“Since they want their grand king back,” Zaiper spat. “Those minions are so devoted to him, it’s sickening ." He stopped in front of Sinai, his face flushed red. "What does he have that I don’t?"
Plenty.
Sinai could count on both hands and still need extra fingers.
Not that she was foolish enough to say that out loud.
"I could lead them! I could be the grand king! Why are they so hung up on a male who doesn’t even want to be here anymore?" His eyes burned the colors of his beast.
"First feral, then a dying soul? If war came to us now, he cannot help. What do they see in a male who would rather join his dead family than rule?" Zapier resumed pacing again. "They have me . I could do so much better."
Sinai bit the inside of her lip, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes.
When it came to leadership, Zaiper was worse than a failure. Ten strong Zaipers were no match for one half-dead Daemonikai.
"The people don’t know what they have, passing up on you." Sinai forced a smile. "You are a much better male than Daemonikai ever was."
Zaiper paused again, his eyes narrowing. "You’re just saying that to placate me. Everyone knows how you feel about your master."
"And how has he treated me all this time? I grow weary of loving a male who barely sees me." The lie tasted bitter in her mouth.
Her Daemon sees her. He can't live without her blood, so yes he was hers. But Sinai needed to be on the winning side for now.
Zaiper turned away, walked to the window, and stared out into the distance. "The people cling to Daemonikai because he still has life in him. If he were fully dead, they would be forced to see reason, wouldn’t they?"
He turned, his voice contemplative. "Hmm… perhaps it’s time I go for Daemonikai’s life. With the right planning, the right method, I can get him now when he can't defend himself." A calculative smile spread. "Poetic, don’t you think? I will be the male who wiped out the entire Naelzharoth lineage.”