25. MY HEAVY HEART.
Chapter twenty-five
MY HEAVY HEART.
Grand Lord Ottai entered his study, utterly exhausted. All Ottai wanted was to collapse onto his bed and sleep for a week.
The rain ritual was always long, intricate, and draining. But if it yielded results, as it had the last time, then it was worth every ounce of effort.
He turned—
"Balls of the gods!" Ottai cursed, jumping in surprise. "Emeriel, is that you? You startled me.”
The princess stood leaning against the wall, shrouded in shadows, eyes closed.
Ottai exhaled heavily. He was so fatigued that his usually sharp senses had dulled. “How did you get in here?”
“Your bondmate said I could wait here for you,” she replied, eyes still closed.
He nodded, studying her more closely. “How is your body holding up? Are you well?” When she didn’t answer, he sighed. “What do you need, then? If you’re looking for the grand king, he returned with me. He should be in Frostfall now—”
“You gave me your word.” Her voice was quiet. “You said, 'Whether you could help him or not, if it ever became too much, you only need to ask, and I would take away from Urai.'” Her eyes opened, meeting his. “Those were your words to me, remember?”
“Of course. A true Urekai never forgets a promise,” he stated solemnly.
“Good,” she murmured, her voice barely heard. “It has become too much for me.”
"Wait a minute." Ottai’s mind caught up. "Do you mean…?"
“Yes.” She finally straightened, stepping out of the shadows to stand in the dim light of the study. “Take me away from here, Lord Ottai. Tomorrow morning, at first light. Take me home.”
Shock washed over Ottai, leaving him dumbstruck.
“You can't be serious. I thought…” He shook his head, struggling to find the right words. “You two were making progress.”
“I don’t want to make progress, I just want to go back to Navia,” she said coolly. “I want to be as far from here as possible. You will keep your word, won’t you?”
Ottai had a thousand questions. A thousand arguments against her decision.
But in the end, he simply nodded. “Yes,” he said in a heavy tone. “We leave at dawn.”
“Swear to me you will not tell the grand king about this.”
He’d expected as much. For one so young, Emeriel was incredibly perceptive and intelligent. “I swear it.”
***
Nothing could transform a tremendously exhausting day into something breathtakingly beautiful quite like good news. Emeriel was awake—hale and hearty.
Grand King Daemnonikai stood before her chamber doors.
When the servants moved to announce his presence, a subtle shake of his head dismissed them without a word.
This was a moment he wanted to enjoy alone.
Quietly, he pushed the door open and slipped inside. The soft lamplight bathed the room in a glow, gilding the edges of everything it touched.
Emeriel was bent over, sorting through her closet, her back to him.
Daemonikai leaned against the doorframe, taking a moment to simply watch her.
Gone were the formal, elegant garments of a princess. Clad in simple white nightwear, her figure was accentuated in a way that struck him to his core.
She was breathtaking, with curves rivaling the finest sculptures in the grandest museums.
His eyes followed her as she shifted, her plump, rounded ass presented to him like an invitation. Heavens above.
Arousal surged within him, greedy and possessive.
He imagined himself stepping forward, taking hold of her soft curves, squeezing them. Spanking them, just to see how they would jiggle.
He could almost hear the sweet sounds she’d make as he held her down, fucking into her, watching that delectable backside of hers dance to his moves.
Daemonikai clenched his jaw. He wanted to make love with her, to see her unravel under him. This time, no heat or rut clouding their senses, just them and their pure desire for each other.
He wanted to undo her, watch her fall apart, and piece her back together. To see the emotions she always hid behind her mask shatter under his hands.
To tear down every wall, every defense, until she sang for him like a water nymph, over and over, as he took her from one orgasm to the next.
His dick definitely loved the idea a lot. Hard and aching in his pants.
But control was an advantage of being an ancient like him. He glared down at his straining member.
Not yet, boy. No action for us for a long, long time. No matter how long it takes to win her back, to earn her trust, we wait. If it takes a decade, so be it.
Thank Ukrae for his heavy robes hiding his very disobedience dick.
"Your Grace!"
The gasp snapped his head up.
Emeriel was already facing him. Her hand flew to her chest as her eyes widened in surprise. "You scared me."
I’m your Beloved, Riel. Not Your Grace.
I am everyone else’s Majesty, but to you, I only want to be your male.
He smiled, tired yet genuine. “I apologize for that, dearling. I was merely enjoying the view,” he said in a velvety tone, his gaze roaming deliberately over her.
The faintest blush spread across her cheeks.
Huh, he hadn't seen that in so long. How he’d missed it.
His beast, however, had seen more of those, than he had.
Still can’t believe you got more action than I did, you oaf, he grumbled at his beast.
Mate. Mine.
I know, Beast. Ours.
With his hands clasped behind his back, he strode further into the room. “How do you feel?”
“Much better,” she said, hesitating, her eyes scanning him in return. “And you?”
“I feel splendid.” And he did. Seeing her alive and well breathed new strength into him.
Her steps were tentative as she closed the distance between them, her delicate fingers reaching out to touch his arm. "May I?"
“You never need to ask, Riel,” he drawled. “Touch me whenever, however you wish.”
Her cheeks colored again, his subtle double meaning not lost on her.
Maintaining silence, she removed his cloak with careful hands, folding it neatly, and setting it aside before turning her attention to his arm.
Eyes on the dark trails of blackened blood. “How is it?”
“It doesn’t hurt as much anymore,” he said, his tone reassuring. “My soul is healing, and with it, the symptoms are fading.”
Her hand trailed along the faint marks. “Yes, they are not as black or as many as they used to be,” she murmured. “I remember when I first saw them…” Her voice dipped. “It was terrifying.”
I have nothing left to give you, she had told him that day in the woods.
Yet standing here now, watching her, Daemonikai still didn’t believe it—just as he hadn’t believed it then.
“It’s cleared from your wrist,” she whispered, completely focused. “The trail is shortening. It truly is healing.”
Look at you, Riel, fretting over me. You still care.
Reaching out, he tucked the silky strands of hair that had fallen across her face behind her ears. One side, then the other. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
Her hand stilled.
Slowly, she looked up, her luminous eyes meeting his.
“For returning, even when you were still hurting,” he continued, his voice heavy with meaning. “Thank you for being here. You saved my life.” In more ways than one.
“You saved mine, too.” Her hand rested lightly on his chest. “But why would you do something so dangerous? Drawing the poison into yourself—”
“I’ve done many dangerous things in my lifetime, Emeriel,” he gave a faint smile. “So many, in fact, that if you become a bard and write them all down, you’d need an entire library to store the tales. But this? This was not one of them.”
Her head dipped, and he saw her throat tighten as she swallowed against the emotion rising within her. “But you shouldn’t have—”
Gently, he tipped her chin up, his gaze locking onto hers. “I would do it again. Over and over. If you walked out there and caught ten poisoned arrows, like flies to a feast, I would suck every single venom from your body and into mine, even if it meant my death.”
Her breath shuddered out, eyes shining with unshed tears. “But why?”
“I think you already know why.”
“No, I don’t.” Voice breaking, she stepped back, her hand falling. “I don’t know, I c-can’t. I can’t.”
He finally got emotions.
That’s progress. Daemonikai should be happy. But seeing such despair on her face was agony.
No one he cared for should ever hurt like this, and worst of all, he knew it was his fault.
Closing the distance between them in a single stride, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. His hold was firm, strong, ready to hold her even if she struggled to break free.
But she didn’t.
Instead, she trembled, her fragile body tense against his.
“Your Grace…” she said, her voice was a broken whisper.
“I would take all the pain away,” he brought his lips near her ear. “If I could, I would draw it out of you like poison and make it my own.”
She shook her head faintly. “You already have so much pain. I couldn’t let you take mine, too—not if it meant you’d have to bear it within yourself.”
Ukrae . His heart twisted painfully. This girl will be the death of me.
She did not hug him back, but she didn’t push him away either. She stood pliant in his arms, letting him embrace her.
That much was enough for him.
***
Emeriel was tired. Bone-deep, soul-crushingly tired.
Leaving Urai was supposed to lighten her heart. To lift the burden pressing down on her chest, after all, she was going back to her world. There she planned to find a small cabin near the river to settle down and live a quiet, undisturbed life.
The first thing she would do was face the problem of her heat. No more suppressants, no more running from it. If it consumed her, so be it.
Even if it meant arranging five men to help her through the fevered, miserable nights, she would be ready. Anything to make her next heat bearable.
If she survived that, she would live out a small, quiet life, fading into obscurity until the end of her days.
See? I’m making plans. That’s living, right?
But the heavy stone pressing on her chest refused to lift… until her grand king pulled her into his arms. And, just like that, Emeriel could breathe again.
The suffocating heaviness eased, and her troubled inner self stilled. His arms were truly the most secure place in the world for me.
Tears pricked at her eyes. How could she ever live without this?
“I’m relieved to see you well again, Riel,” he said in a tender voice.
It did things to her… the way he said her name. Soft and intimate, like a whispered promise.
How will you live without all this? her mind whispered.
I did it before. I can do it again. Right…?
"You have been through a great ordeal. I’ll allow you to rest.” He finally pulled away, kissing her forehead. “Goodnight, Riel.”
Emeriel watched him leave, holding back tears.
***
She tossed and turned, sleep proving to be her greatest enemy. Her restless mind refused to still, her thoughts shackled to one man.
The heaviness in her heart was back again, the silence of the night too deafening.
At dawn, you will leave this place forever. The thought struck her like a sword.
Away from your Beloved. Never to feel his touch, to taste his kisses again.
Her throat convulsed, and she dragged in uneven breaths, fighting the constriction in her chest.
Never to feel his strong arms around you. Never to touch him again. Never to feel him inside you.
The ache was unbearable. Rising, Emeriel picked up her cloak, leaving her bedchambers.
She walked through the quiet halls, past guards stationed at the royal residence who bowed and stepped aside without question, until she stood before the door to his private chambers.
What are you doing? her rational mind demanded. If you allow yourself to have a taste of him when you are leaving tomorrow, how will you ever survive without it? This is NOT a good idea!
Emeriel's hand trembled on the doorknob. Her breaths came quick and shallow as her internal war continued.
Turn back. Go away, her rational mind scolded. Not a good idea, Emeriel.
But another voice… softer, more desperate, whispered back. Just one last night. I need to feel him one last time.
You know the risks. If you do this, there’s a chance your heat will come early. You are NOT ready for it.
"I miss him," she whispered aloud in a quiet plea. "Just this one night with him is all I ask for, is that too much to ask? I miss him so much, it hurts."
A pause followed in her chaotic mind.
You poor, poor thing, the inner voice sighed, resigned.
She gripped the doorknob tighter, and with a soft click, it swung open. Stepping inside, she closed the door behind her.
***
Daemonikai eyes snapped open, his sharp senses registering the presence of an intruder. But a familiar calm settle over him.
His beast purred in his chest, ears perking up in recognition. Her scent reached him, even as his vision quickly adjusted to the darkness. And there she was, standing in the doorway.
She removed the cloak and his eyes greedily drank her in… tracing every inch of her. A vision of sexy beauty.
That almost transparent nightgown hugged her curves like a second skin, showing off every dip and swell of her body.
Emeriel, are you alright?" he rasped, sitting up.
"I need…" She licked her lips, then whispered, "I need you."
Throat going dry, he forced his gaze to meet her face. What he saw there gave his hunger a pause.
It was the first time since her return he had seen the mask of composure completely removed. Too many emotions on her face. Need, fear, vulnerability, hunger, and… resignation.
Something was wrong.
Seeing her so raw, so unguarded, disturbed him greatly.
"Riel… did something happen? You know you can tell me," he prompted, his tone gentler, coaxing.
Her hand moved to the straps of her nightdress, slowly sliding the fabric from her shoulders, until it fell soundlessly to the floor, pooling at her feet.
Emeriel stood before him, completely naked.