22. I’m so fucking mature
Nevaeh
A fter I shower and change, I come by to tuck my little monkey for the night.
When the door squeaks open, I look up from a sleeping August as Angel walks in. He gave me twenty minutes to tuck monkey in, and now he’s here to collect.
I love his clinginess.
Coming to the bed, Angel abruptly picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I bite my lip so I won’t accidentally squeal in surprise. My little werewolf has better hearing than most kids his age.
Quietly shutting the door behind him, Anxo walks to our room with me on his broad shoulder.
“Would you stop stealing my hoodies, sweetheart? I just bought this one.”
“Nope.”
As if he was expecting my answer, a sharp sting on my bottom makes me gasp loudly.
Did he just? He did not… Did he just spank me ?
Carefully lowering me back on the sturdy ground once we are in his room, Angel disappears into his closet, leaving me unsure of how to feel about what just happened.
Question for Seiji: should it feel as good as it did, or am I too far gone to save my humanity?
Angel comes back when I’m still reeling and sits down at the edge of his bed, opening his legs wide and gesturing for me to sit between them—on the floor.
“If this is a sex position, you have to wait another week because Seiji hasn’t covered that part yet.”
Sitting down, I look up at him upside down and find him staring at me, frozen, with his mouth wide open.
“What?!”
I cringe when Angel chokes on nothing.
“Yeah, he is teaching me about intimate stuff so I don’t look like a complete idiot when we do things —you know.”
I’m a little embarrassed, but Seiji said to always have clear communication in the bedroom. Also, I’m not sure about this position. It doesn’t feel comfortable enough for sexy time .
I’m caught off guard when he gently removes the rubber band from my hair and frees the messy bun before he starts to comb my hair.
“We are not doing anything intimate anytime soon. We both need more time to be completely at ease with each other before that happens. And tell me why Seiji is the one teaching you all that instead of your mate?”
Brushing my hair takes longer than it should because my lazy ass didn’t want to tackle the waves tonight.
“The love interest isn’t supposed to do that, Angel. The best friend helps with these things. I’ve watched movies. Lots of them . And sometimes the guy teases the girl for being a 20-year-old virgin loser.” I mumble, a little ashamed to admit it, but I've learned no secrets and good communication means a healthy relationship.
I’m so fucking mature.
“I would never make fun of you, sweetheart. Ever . And I don’t mind you asking Seiji, but next time, come to me for intimate things, alright?” He gently kisses the top of my head, and I melt .
“If this is not sexy time, what are you doing with my hair?” Angel chuckles, placing another kiss on the side of my head.
Sometimes, I think he laughs it off and kisses me instead of saying, ‘Nevaeh, you’re an idiot’.
“Braiding it. I know you leave your hair down because you don’t know what to do with it. This way, it won’t get in your face when you sleep.”
A lump forms in my throat until it’s hard to swallow. I throw my head back, and Angel swiftly ducks to kiss my pout. I love how he knows exactly what I need before I know it myself. Angel loves spoiling me and repeatedly saying I deserve good things until it’s engraved in my head.
As he braids my hair, which now falls just below my chest, Angel is careful not to miss any strands.
I remember when Visha used to cut random pieces of my hair. When they used my hair as a tool to control me, pulling on it to demand submission or running their filthy hands through it. I breathe out to ignore how I still recoil in disgust when I think about it.
As much as I try to live here with them, every little thing threatens to pull me back into that familiar, chilling darkness. I dread the day I will have to face Visha again. Day and night, I’m persistently torturing myself by thinking of ways she can make my baby suffer... like she made me suffer.
I feel trapped in my own head and the torture is never-ending.
My fears are a part of me now .
I’m physically safe, but my head is too tangled up to let myself just breathe .
“Where do you go, Nevaeh?” Angel’s soft voice brings me out of my head, and I startle when suddenly he's sitting right in front of me.
“Huh?”
I didn’t go anywhere. He was holding my hair the entire time, so how could I?
“You’re physically here, but I’ve seen that dazed look enough times to know when you slip away. You sit there and observe everything with those dreadful eyes like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
He scoots closer to grasp my cold hands between his warm ones. “I hate it when you get so lost in your head that it hinders our moments together. I hate how your mind tries to convince you this won’t last forever or that you don’t deserve this because you do .”
I close my eyes and feel the tears roll down my cheeks when Angel kisses my head.
“I want you to be here all the time and not miss out on anything, live your life to the fullest. I’m willing to be the best version of myself for you baby, to be the wall you can lean on. Someone you can always rely on. I promise to be there for however long I have in this world if you promise to hold on to me… to us . Let me be your tether to our world.”
I can’t hold back anymore. Smashing our lips together, I take him by surprise. With his arms around my waist, Anxo ushers me to straddle him.
Every time one pulls back to breathe, the other follows until we are kissing again. I never knew holding someone could become my addiction, but looking at Angel now, I know I will fight battles every day of my life to keep holding him like this.
“You make me feel safe,” I whisper, our foreheads pressed together, both of us panting like we ran a marathon. Angel picks me up and falls back on the bed with me on top of him. I adjust myself until I find the perfect spot on top of him.
“I’m sorry you got a mate that’s so much work. I promise to be better for you.”
“For me, you’re already perfect.”
◆◆◆
Warm sunlight peeking through the curtains and soft snores act as my alarm. I wiggle under the heavy man lying on top of me, squishing me to death but it’s no use.
Angel’s head is nuzzled against my chest with his arms around my waist. Sometime in the night, my fingers found their home in his curls, gripping like I was afraid he would move. His thigh is nudged between mine, our limbs tangled together in twists.
Softly running a finger along his cheek, I engrave every feature of his face into my memory.
Anxo stirs, subconsciously pulling me closer and burying his face in my neck, leaving sloppy kisses there. When I shiver involuntarily I feel his lips turn up.
Damn him and his warm kisses.
“Morning, beautiful.”
My soul leaves my body and floats straight to azure hearing Angel’s husky sleepy voice. I shiver like a teenage girl touching a guy for the first time.
I mean, it’s true…
“Morning Angel.”
He all but purrs when I scratch his scalp and kisses my throat before biting softly. I gasp at the sudden change, which makes him chuckle before rolling off me. I finally take a massive gulp of air that I was severely lacking.
He really was trying to squish me to death, wasn’t he?
“Freshen up, sweetheart. We have tons of people dying to meet the missing Horsemen.” With a quick kiss on my nose, he lifts himself off the bed.
The wretched day for introductions is finally here. I’m cool about possibly meeting hundreds of people… and all the parents. I’m not shitting myself at all. All is good.
After a thorough scrub down, I leave the bathroom in a soft silk coverup wrapped around my waist Angel asked me to wear until he brought my dress from Grace.
My jaw drops when my mate walks in with a dress bag and lays it out on the bed. If I knew Angel looked this good dressed as The Horseman of Conquer, I would’ve dragged his ass back home a long time ago.
Western human clothes are widely adopted among Horsemen since we lived among them for so long, but since this is my first impression, Seiji suggested dressing more traditionally. I’m mentally patting my back for agreeing.
Angel is adorned in a lavender jacket decorated with sparkling gold strings that stop at his waistline. The embellished designs on his sleeves give the illusion that the patterns are dancing over his arms.
A sheer white shirt is tucked neatly into his trousers—trousers with similar designs threaded near the pockets. The shirt does little to hide the intricate Horsemen markings on his chest and abdomen, my favorite part about his outfit.
I’m still tongue-tied when Angel strides to my side and picks me up, walking us to the dressing table. This man has arms carved with muscles, a strength that's my haven.
“Let’s get you all dolled up first, and then we’ll tackle the dress. Grace made sure it’s catered to your style and comfort, so I’m not worried about you wanting to kill her when you see it.”
Carefully lowering me on the seat, Anxo opens the makeup bag before telling me to do what I like, not what I think others would expect. I barely pay attention to what he’s saying when he starts combing and curling my hair into loose waves— just the way I like .
I stare at him with lips parted.
How is he so perfect and looks like that ?
I don’t realize I’m tearing up until Angel turns off the curling rod and crouches in front of me, not giving a fuck about wrinkling his clothes.
I love his attention.
“What’s wrong, baby?” He wipes a tear that lands on my cheek with his thumb. The softness in his eyes is going to be the death of me one day.
“It’s too good. Everything you do, everything you are…” He blinks rapidly when I start blabbering. “You’re so good to me that this feels like a dream. You feel like a dream. And you don’t even look real! So fucking handsome—”
My rambling cuts off when he suddenly captures my lips, but it doesn’t last long because Angel can’t stop smiling into our kiss.
Leaning back, I see his smug face— that smirk.
Somebody kill me now before his smile does. I groan and hide my face in his neck. “I can’t even look at you without wanting to kiss you again.”
Angel starts chuckling but it comes to an abrupt stop when I give into the urge and bite his neck and suck, loving how he tastes.
He groans needily but pulls back, “I need to focus on getting you out of here before I don't let you leave at all.”
I’m not sure what it is about feeling his rough breaths against my neck that damn near makes me yell, ‘Sure, let’s do it!’
Containing himself better than I can, Angel goes back to curling my hair while I try to remember the makeup tricks I learned from Grace.
“Sweetheart?”
“Yes, Angel?”
“Khatri found something that suggest Micah is hiding in the forgotten realm.”
I remain calm despite how my body locks up. That man is not worthy of my fear. Not anymore.
I’m not worried about Visha because I’m familiar with her tricks, but Micah was always more vicious. I need him out of the picture and away from Visha. Without his strategies, Visha isn’t clever enough to wage a war against the Tetrad kingdom.
“And why are you telling me this before the council meeting?”
Angel applies some serum near the ends by brushing his fingers through my hair. “You get anxious when we plan something on short notice, so I’m giving you enough time to overthink and calm down by then.”
“I don’t know if it’s creepy or endearing that you know me so well.” I giggle when he brushes my perfectly curled hair aside to kiss my neck.
I love his kisses.
Great, I’m a giggler now.
Having a loving mate is bad for my badass reputation.
“Well, we’ll be married soon, so it makes sense for me to know everything about my beautiful bride-to-be.” Angel teases, resting his chin on my shoulder. I smile to myself because I was expecting him to say that.
I love how he makes me feel all giddy inside .
“You look like my queen, sweetheart. I could eat you up.” He follows the compliment by biting my neck before sucking softly to soothe the sting.
Like he can’t stop himself, Angel kisses my cheek before bringing the dress over. It takes us some time to understand how to get me into the dress, but together, we figure out it’s not exactly a dress.
Now I know Grace took me seriously when she asked me about the kind of outfit I wanted.
The one-piece lavender jumpsuit is made of silk with beautiful gold hand embroidery covering its entirety. The designs are similar to the ones on Angel’s jacket, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence.
I love how we both are wearing the same color .
Before I can feel uncomfortable about the deep V-neck, Angel helps me put on a long cape and fastens it between my collarbones.
The cape drapes over my shoulders and arms and I’m excited for it to trail behind me as I walk. It doesn’t just cover the deep neck but also conceals the scars littering my arms. It's perfect .
“We can ditch the cape if you want.”
“Not yet.”
No more arguments, no trying to convince me to think it over. Angel simply wraps my arms around his neck and tells me to take all the time I need.
Always so good to me.
Combing the back of his head with my fingers, I kiss his cheeks, nose, and eyes and watch him all but sway from the soft attention.
“Thank you for everything, Angel. I appreciate everything you do for me.”
I love you.
That’s what I really want to say. That’s what I’ve been dying to say ever since it hit me that the warmth I feel in my chest every time he smiles is not because of the mate bond but because how much I love being the reason behind his happiness.
Is there an appropriate amount of time to wait before telling someone you love them? But we are also soulmates and have loved the idea of each other for years. I’m just sure I would bury myself six feet under if he said, ‘Thanks, but no thanks’.
“It’s my privilege to care for you, sweetheart.”
I wish I had more alone time with my mate to come to a conclusion, but then Seiji yells for us at the top of his lungs. We are supposed to meet his parents first in the Famine castle, so his excitement is justified... the whining is not.
I reluctantly step away from Angel and lead us downstairs. Naturally, we get lost two times before Angel shows me the actual way out of this labyrinth.
Halting by the main gates, I take everyone in, and damn if they don’t look so fucking good.
Seiji is wearing a tea green suit with no undershirt. The brass-colored belt over his waist is beautiful ... like veins climbing around his waist and up to his shoulder.
Grace is dressed in a flowy gown in a soft shade of arctic blue with puffy princess sleeves and slim straps on her shoulders. Her bare shoulders do nothing to hide the dark red, almost purple hickey just below her collarbone.
I bet Grace tried to cover it, but Harvey wanted everyone to know she found her mate.
Beside my Honeybunch is my best friend in an all-black suit. Harvey hates flashy things and has a weird hatred for colors, but I’m grateful he at least doesn’t mind the black stones to spice up the outfit.
After Angel told me about Harvey not wanting to wait too long, I told him about how Grace is already infatuated with my idiot best friend. It won’t be long before they take the next step.
Hazel is a pleasant surprise because hot damn if she doesn’t look flaming hot. Now I understand and completely support the hype around her armored corsets.
She stands there in a forest green pantsuit with a pastel green corset top made like armor. The shiny material of her corset has gold patterns carved into it, giving it an otherworldly shine.
“Now that we all look our best, let’s get going before Maa comes here and drags me home by my ear.” Seiji scoops up little August, who is adorned in his velvet suit.
I can tell August likes the soft material by how he can’t stop running his hands down his arms. Since everyone was going to be in glamorous clothes, Grace designed something for my little monkey that was fancy yet comfortable.
Seiji insists on holding August, complaining about Angel always hogging the little guy. August on the other hand has zero issues as long as no one makes him walk.
If these people think I’m lazy, my son outranks me.
I drone out of the conversation when people around us suddenly start murmuring, not so quietly, about the missing Horsemen returning home.
Then bowing as I pass them.
I smile tightly, not sure what else to do. I'm majorly uncomfortable by all the tears of joy.
“Can you tell them to stop doing that?” I whisper to Angel.
“Stop what?”
“Bowing. It’s so fucking awkward. What am I supposed to do? Bow back? Smile? Not react at all, but that would be rude right—” A ring of chuckles follows my request, and I realize I’m not ranting to just my mate.
“You’re just like your father.” Anxo shakes his head with a soft smile, and thankfully, the bowing stops.
Everyone resorts to waving instead, which is much better. If they were expecting me to be a Princess, they should start practicing being disappointed.