23. Delusional mothers
Nevaeh
T he first thing I notice when I enter the elegant dining room is the enormous table that can fit like fifty people at once. The second is the mouth-watering scent wrapping me in a warm hug.
Whatever Seiji’s parents asked their cooks to prepare is making my stomach growl ferociously.
Walking further into the room, I’m surprised to find two people playfully shoving each other as they cook. I don’t even have to guess who they are. The resemblance between the older man and Seiji is uncanny.
I’ve heard that they are in their mid-fifties in human years, but neither looks a day over thirty-five. I wonder if they asked Fates to give them their immortality back in exchange for Seiji.
A real possibility.
The moment the couple senses our presence, they abandon their tasks and rush over with bright smiles. Harvey is ahead of me with Grace on his arm, so he’s the first to be showered with hugs and compliments about how handsome he grew up to be.
That will definitely go to his head.
“They would be so proud of you.” Seiji’s mother chokes out.
I think her emotions made Harvey uncomfortable because after their very long hug, he cleared his throat and excused himself with Grace behind him.
I’m confused why a simple statement like that would affect him so much. I know he misses his parents, but the dumbass is acting like he didn’t go see them last night after our tour .
The older couple greets August with the same love, then it’s Hazel’s turn. Their interaction has no touching whatsoever... a simple nod with warm smiles.
Then it’s my turn, and I know I can’t keep hiding behind Anxo anymore. Their two steps forward have me taking two instinctive steps back, and it immediately stops their approach. To their credit, my reluctance doesn’t falter their teary smiles in the least.
I turn to Angel, silently asking if I should leave the safety of his arms. He doesn’t hesitate before kissing the crown of my head and whispering he is right behind me before lightly nudging me forward.
“Nevaeh, this is my maa Yua Nakaya, the Queen of Famine.” Seiji introduces us from behind the woman, August still in his arms—carefully observing the unfamiliar environment.
The woman holds her hands out and waits for me to initiate contact. When I do, she grips them firmly, mumbling in her mother tongue.
“Dean is going to sob like a baby when he sees you all grown up, Watashi no taisetsuna ko.”
She moves in for a hug. At first, I stiffen but soon melt into her warm, motherly embrace. The familiarity of her gesture reminds me of Harvey’s mum.
I can’t wait to see Stella again.
“And that’s Horsemen Famine aka my dad, Akihiko Nakaya.”
Seiji’s father has his own set of markings that cover his arms and are on display since he’s wearing a black suit with sheer sleeves. I’ve noticed how Horsemen are always proud to show off their markings. Papa used to fold his sleeves just so the markings were visible.
“Oh, how long I’ve waited for this moment.” Seiji's father's voice falters near the end, but he maintains the heart-melting smile that forces me to let my guard down and give him a small but honest one in return.
The kind-looking man steps closer, “Can I get a hug too? I’ve been waiting to meet little Death for so long.”
What a cute nickname!
“Chikusho, you’re not calling her that!”
“Hush Yua, it’s my turn now. Don’t leave your favorite old man hanging, little death.” His arms now confidently awaiting me.
I don’t get why Horseman of Famine is calling himself old. Since when do people in their Divine late thirties call themselves old?
Taking a deep breath, I slowly step forward and fall into his arms. The second his arms enclose me in a delicate and protective hug, the tight restraint I’ve had on my emotions nearly shatters.
I really need to stop crying every time someone hugs me.
Ever since I started encountering people from my past, even if my brain can’t comprehend their importance, my Divine never misses a familiar presence. The warmth rushing through me is my Divine’s acknowledgment and accepting someone I remember being safe around.
The first time Angel hugged me, I felt a similar rush of feeling that overwhelmed me, but I’ve grown a little more accustomed to physical contact since then.
“I don’t think you can call yourself my favorite old man when you’re the only old person I know.”
“Yeah… you’re his daughter, alright. I pray you’re more mature, or I will have to retire sooner than I’d like little Death .”
My shoulders shake when I laugh into his chest. I gradually move back, fearing I will start crying if I stay too long. Thankfully, he gives me an understanding nod and doesn’t mind the distance I’ve created once more.
“How do you like home, little Death ?”
“Didn’t I tell you to stop calling the sweet child that?” His wife swiftly smacks the back of his head.
Now I see where the smacking culture comes from.
“It’s perfect though! It will help everyone when Dean comes back and they both start working together. Death and Little Death .”
Alright, I need to add my new favorite people to the list.
1. Papa
2. My little monkey
3. Pretty-pretty Angel
4. Grace, Harvey, Hazel, and Seiji
5. The Nakaya folks
I was forced to upgrade Harvey because he is my sister's mate and I have to respect her mate. Ew .
And maybe because I love the guy a little bit.
“How about you retire now and take me on a trip? Or give me that second baby you promised.”
“Nope. No sex talk on the dining table, guys.” Seiji objects, rounding the table to take a seat beside his mother.
“Watashi no akachan,” she coos at her son. “My baby boy is so shy and quiet sometimes.”
I choke on the water I was drinking and fall into a harsh coughing spell. Angel hides his face behind me and stifles his laugh, pretending to pat my back. Everyone is barely keeping it together, and Seiji looks at his mother with such fondness as he shakes his head.
“Forgive my lovely wife. She’s a little delusional when it comes to her son.”
Eventually, the conversation flows in a different direction, and we forget about Seiji being so shy and quiet .
Angel and Papa Nakaya talk about security, politics, and things leaders with responsibilities on their shoulders discuss.
I grip Angel’s hand under the table when Uncle Akihiko mentions waiting for Seiji to find his mate and spend some quality years together so he can finally retire.
Compared to humans, supernaturals age twice as slowly once they their reach twenties and live around three centuries if they’re lucky and healthy. So normally the horsemen wait until their successors have experienced life, found a mate, and built a family before shouldering them with such a big responsibility.
I hate how unfair life has been for my Angel. It’s so unfair that he had to take over when he was just seventeen. Decades before he was ready or wanting.
With his hand in mine, I promise to never be like his parents. I will never let him bear the weight of our world alone.
He will always have me.
After lunch, we leave the Famine castle with dozens of Tupperware boxes filled with food and promises to keep visiting. Nakaya folks even ask us to drop off August whenever we need some alone time because they adored having my little monkey around.
It’s safe to say they won over monkey’s heart quite easily. All that boy need is good food and some pampering... and boom , he will follow you to the edge of a cliff.
Others collectively decide to walk around the kingdom after the feast, strategically leaving Angel and me alone to meet the previous Horseman of Conquer and Queen. Anxo agrees that it’s best he deals with his parents himself and spare others the mindfuck.
It was quite apparent by the way Seiji made a sour face and Hazel literally walked off to escape the meeting that they didn’t want to come along anyway.
An icy feeling engulfs me the moment I step into The Conquer castle. Nothing about this place is welcoming, even if it’s made of gold. Standing in the center of the grand hall below a giant chandelier, I gape at the place.
The castle looks like it was stolen from one of the ancient Gods. With high ceilings made of glass, vintage paintings hung on the walls.
If I lived here, I would keep forgetting which door led where and don’t even get started on the names.
But of course , Angel doesn’t have that problem. Holding my hand firmly yet gently, he greets everyone on our way. And the craziest thing? He knows everybody . All the names, their families, everything .
Even a blind person could see how much these people look up to him, and I feel pride bubbling inside my chest with every interaction.
Walking down an empty hallway, Anxo attempts to drop my hand, but I hiss at him before tightening my grip. “Don’t do that! I’ll get lost in the first fifteen seconds of you leaving my side.”
I’m drop-dead serious. I’ve never been good with directions... it’s a curse.
Angel looks amused and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’m sure you’ll learn your way around in no time.” Pressing a button, we wait for the elevator to arrive. They have an elevator in a castle . Talk about filthy rich.
“No, I won’t. I’m telling you this now, if I’m ever late for something; I’m lost. Don’t think of any other reason. I’m not late, I’m not keeping you waiting; I’m lost, and you need to come to find me. I’m directionally challenged, Angel.”
He throws his head back, laughing like I just told him a hysterical joke, and not about my very serious struggle.
If I wasn’t so obsessed with his beautiful face, he would have a lovely purple bruise on his jaw for making fun of my genuine problem.
He’s lucky, I think he’s pretty.
Anxo leads me into an office made of gold and jewels, just like the entire castle, and pulls out a chair for me at a table in the corner of the room instead of the main desk.
Honestly? I don’t like all this yellow. Angel tells me it’s all his parents’ designs, so I don’t like it at all now.
“I will hit you, Anxo,” I warn him when he still doesn’t stop snickering, but my warning only makes him laugh harder. Leaning into me, he buries his face in my neck, and I feel the vibration of his laugh spread throughout my body.
As much as I want to act pissed, I can’t help smiling proudly. I made him laugh like a dying hyena. Me!
Currently, we are waiting for Angel’s parents, who paused their vacation to meet me for a few hours before leaving again. Assholes .
I just hope I don’t kill them. Anxo was clear earlier that he doesn’t want to clean up blood from this office. Also, killing the previous leaders without an altercation is considered treason.
I just have to wait for them to slip up, and then I’ll have the perfect excuse to dig their graves. In the meantime, I can practice being a future leader.
Calm and composed . I should use my sharp tongue instead of the sharp weapon I actually want to use.
I don’t know much, but from what I’ve seen so far, Angel could use a lot more help so he didn’t have to work himself to the bone. They’re vacationing while their only child is burdened with so much. It makes me feel a lot more hateful toward them than I already do.
The sound of the door opening ruins my Angel’s happy mood. In a flash, his whole demeanor shifts, watching the couple walk into the office hand in hand.
I know for a fact that Seiji’s parents are older than Angel’s, but by the looks of it, all the vacationing has them aging twice as fast. The woman is already showing faint wrinkles that would make anyone assume she was easily in her late forties.
The older man has a similar build to my Angel—if you ignore the lack of muscles and confidence in his walk. He and his mate both have prominent signs indicating that their aging has not been affected much despite them being supernatural.
I can’t wait to gossip about this with Seiji.
Someone looks like they pissed off the All-knowing Fates.
“Nevaeh, this is my mother, Kiara Alarie, and my father, Luke Alarie.” Anxo’s voice is stiff, like his posture.
I’m afraid his act might break if I hold his hand too tight. Angel curtly replies to the small talk they initiate after they bow to him.
Ugh, kiss-asses.
Angel and I take the small couch when the older couple sits on separate chairs opposite us. The meeting has barely started, and I want to go back to my room and never see them again .
This is so fucking awkward .
As if Angel’s womb provider can hear my thoughts, she turns to me with a look that screams false pity, and I dread her next words before she even opens her mouth.
“I remember how Grim’s heart shattered the day you were taken. The misery of Fates not giving him a mate was cruel enough, but then he let his only offspring get kidnapped?” She tsks, “I hope you both can find some semblance of peace if he returns.”
Let her get kidnapped? Is this woman on drugs?
And why is she talking like we are from medieval times? She could’ve said ‘Your father was fucking wrecked and disappeared to find some inner peace’ just as quickly.
“It’s so exciting to have you back with us. Maybe your presence would help the kingdom. The way things are running now is lousy at best.” she scoffs and continues like she isn’t badmouthing my mate in front of me.
I can’t stop myself from interrupting, “Why don’t you lend a helping hand, then?”
Angel squeezes my hand that's on his thigh, maybe to ask me to shut up or help me calm down, but something—no, everything about her tone is testing me.
I’m surprised how comfortable she is openly criticizing Angel and his work with her snide remarks as if no one has ever told her to shut the fuck up before.
She doesn’t know me if she thinks I will sit back and let her insult my mate’s hard work.
Kiara weakly chuckles and puts down the teacup she filled for just herself. Inherently selfish . “We’re old, child. We've worked for years and deserve this time off. And anyway, Anxo has to learn someday. We have given him everything he needs, he just has to learn to do better.”
Oh, now she’s really testing me.
“By everything, you mean the insecurities or the bruises you gave him growing up?”
My response stuns both Angel and his parents. I’ve heard him talk about how the beating stopped as he grew older, but they never apologized for it. Hell, they act as if it never happened in the first place.
But it did ... and I’ll be damned if I let them slide scratch less. Especially after being shameless enough to continue to demean him, even after all the respect he has shown these undeserving assholes.
I glance at Angel to check if I am crossing a line by confronting them and if he wants me to step back. My sweet Angel is essentially ignoring everything and holding my hand as if his life depends on it, his fingers tracing the lines on my palm.
Watching him so distant and indifferent in their presence sets me off. My vision blurs and all I see is a kid who was constantly told he wasn’t good enough.
The way he has shut down as soon as they started talking about him shows me how deeply their words cut him even now.
By keeping a lid on his emotions and not paying attention, Anxo is trying to protect what little patience and love he has left for them, but it pains me to see him so quiet. No hint of the smile I love so much.
How long is he going to let them walk all over him just because they gave birth to him? Angel might not be ready to put them in their place yet, but I will no longer let them take him for granted.
They want someone to target?
They should try me.
Plastering a phony, sweet smile, I turn to the ‘parents’, and try to keep this conversation verbal before I act on the urge to suck their rotten souls out of them.
“And aren't Seiji’s parents older than you? Yet they’re both still working. Waiting actually, until Seiji thinks he is ready for such responsibility.” I squeeze Angel’s hand in apology for bringing it up.
“My papa lost his only family and still worked for a decade until he physically couldn’t . If you so firmly believe that the kingdoms are doing poorly, why are you vacationing instead of helping?”
They say nothing.
Of course, they don’t because what excuse could they spit out now?
When I feel my mate’s burning gaze, I turn to find him blankly staring at me. With a warm smile, I say the words to him, instead of the two making my Divine bloodthirsty.
“Anxo is doing his absolute best, and it’s more than enough. And now that he has his mate, the Princess of Death by his side, I hope your concerns will fade with time.” Just like you will.
After an uncomfortably long pause where they stare at my face, stunned and struggling to form words, Luke says, “Of course. We have immense faith in you both.”
The sperm donor's face is red, full of shame because he realizes I know every little detail of his disgusting acts.
“Hope you have a wonderful vacation. Maybe you’ll start visiting less and less with time.”
With that hint, I see anger lighting up in Kiara’s eyes at the insinuation. Get up, woman. Give me one reason, to show you I am indeed my father’s daughter.
When she keeps her lips pursed, I stand and tug on Angel’s hand. “It was nice meeting you both, but we are on a tight schedule.”
Leaving the dreadful office, I’m still fuming, but the further we walk from his parents, the better I feel.
The elevator door chimes shut, and in a blink, Angel traps me between his arms and kisses the anger right out of me. With a small kiss on the corner of my mouth, he steps away with his beautiful smile back on.
“I’m definitely marrying you soon.”
Shaking my head at him fondly, I peck his lips one more time. As we leave Conquer, Angel looks like an invisible weight has disappeared from his shoulders and stands a little taller .
Well, taller than he already is.
We find the others outside the castle waiting for us, and even when I can see how tired they are we have one last stop before heading home for the night.
But imagine my surprise when Harvey starts leading Grace and the others back to the Horsemen palace.
“Hey, where are you going?”
Harvey hesitates, looking over my shoulder at his mate before saying, “Back home. I thought you could use some space.”
Something is off about his behavior, and when Harvey wraps me in a tight hug, telling me how much he loves me, my heart falls to my feet.
With every molecule in my body, I hope my rational conclusion is just my brain mocking and trying to break me. But I wish I didn’t know any better. I wish I didn’t have to enter the castle of War with Angel tentatively following behind me. I wish I could turn in for the night and forget about this until morning.
A shrine glares back at me. They've set it right in the middle of the hall so people could pay their respects as soon as they walked in, but I don’t want to pay my respects because it’s not true. It can’t be.
No no no no no.
My feet drag me to the framed pictures to make sure I’m not dreaming. I have to be wrong. I have to be.
Stella and Henry Adler.
Loving parents, fierce leaders.
I didn’t come to see a shrine built for Harvey’s parents. I came here to hug my uncle and aunt. To smell Uncle Henry’s famous burgers, not the candles and flowers decorated around his picture. I didn’t come here to be weighed down by a stillness their house has never experienced but to dance with them as they sang that crazy jungle song Aunt Stella made to tease me once Harvey started calling me monkey.
They left, and now they’re not coming back .
I killed them, didn’t I? This happened because of me . Their son suffered because of me . Papa is not here because of me . They must've cried, begged, and searched tirelessly for their son because of me .
I don’t remember asking, but Angel hesitates before telling me what happened, and that’s when I completely break. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry . It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.” I repeat the words in a tired loop. That’s the only thought in my head, the only words I can utter.
My knees buckle, and before I can hit the ground, Angel scoops me into his arms and lowers us to the floor, so I’m sitting on his lap instead of the cold, hard floor.
I can keep apologizing for eternity, and it still wouldn’t be enough. My words become indescribable, but I have to keep apologizing for ruining their life.
My body trembles with sobs, and I know deserve it. I deserve this pain in my heart. I deserve the punishments I got in that dungeon. Maybe that’s why Visha wanted to kill me. Because I ruin everything. I’m the cause of everyone’s pain around me.
“It’s not your fault, sweetheart.”
“Of course it is! He was protecting me. Me . If I had done something —”
“You were nine, baby. It wasn’t your fault.”
I hide my face in his chest to hide from the shame of what I’ve done. “But their deaths are on me. They died heartbroken for their son. Harvey wasted a decade of his life in that fucking dungeon beaten to death because of me! Because he made the mistake of looking out for me. I ruined their family, Angel. I killed them both .”
“Don’t you dare talk like that.” Cupping my face, he forces me to look at him instead of the shrine. “You are the victim here, not the culprit. They snatched you from everything you knew too, and Harvey willingly risked his life for you. Don’t reduce his love for you by calling it a mistake. Any debt you think you owed him got paid the day you risked your own life to set him free. He is home, back to where he belongs because of you.”
“But he never got to say goodbye,” I croak.
Angel holds me tighter because there’s nothing he can say to that. Even if I believe I wasn’t at fault, it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m the reason Harvey returned to find his world ripped to shreds.
“Does he know?”
“He knew way before I told him.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I didn’t know how to.” Kissing my head, he tucks me against him protectively. “You were already drowning in so much guilt about Harvey and your dad, all while looking after August and helping him get better. I didn’t know how to tell you without you burdening yourself with this misplaced guilt.”
With his thumb and forefinger, Angel turns my face to look into his eyes. “Trust me on this sweetheart. Believe me when I say this wasn’t your fault.”
I clutch his shirt between my fingers. “What if he hates me for being the reason he came back to no family?”
“He doesn’t hate you, baby... and he has a family. Harvey has two brothers, a mate, a clone, and an amazing best friend.”
“Monkey,” I remind him.
“Of course, add an adorable nephew in the mix, and there’s no way he is ever alone.”
“He doesn’t hate me?”
“No way.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.” Angel easily lifts off the ground with me in his arms, leaving behind a place full of guilt and hurt. “Come on, let’s go home before they think you got kidnapped again.”
I gasp, “I didn’t know you could make dark jokes.”
“Anything to see you smile.”