38. Traitors among us
Anxo
Six nights ago.
I still can't shake the terror I felt when I carried my mate to the medical wing. The sight of my mate writhing in pain shook me to my core, and I truly experienced what being paralyzed with fear feels like.
Dragging a chair next to her bed, I can’t help the anger that rises thinking about how, once again, Nevaeh took it upon herself to save us by putting herself in danger.
I’m more than relieved she’s okay but I can't let her keep doing this. I refuse to watch my mate sacrifice her well-being over and over again just so she can prove to that voice in her head that she's not evil.
That she's not a monster.
Sleep is the last thing on my mind tonight so I lean back in my chair and make myself comfortable. Nevaeh hates waking up alone and since I can't risk climbing into bed beside her, this is the next best option.
Closing my eyes, I thank Fates for keeping my family safe when the bitterness of my reality finally settles in.
If nothing else, the night has revealed my blindside and how our enemies might have taken advantage of it. I’ve been so busy tackling one problem after another that I lost sight of the big picture, but not anymore.
Grace links me that August is having trouble falling asleep, so I decide to quickly run back to the castle to tuck my little man in. He might've been asleep for most of it but August can sense the lingering distress on the adults and it's not helping him relax.
I'm back to my mate in less than ten minutes. Marching inside her room, I find the nurse who helped with August all those months back fumbling with the medicine Giana, our healer, left for Nevaeh.
My sudden arrival startles her. The nurse mumbles something about checking on Nevaeh before quickly disappearing out of my sight.
Long after the woman is gone, I still can't stop thinking about the tremble in her hands or the way she flinched when she noticed me standing by the door.
I want to ignore the strange interaction and focus on my mate, but every little detail about tonight has been playing like a loop inside my head, begging me to sort them out.
Walking through my memories with a clear head does nothing to give me answers. So many things don’t add up. Nothing makes sense after Anisha appears. And the biggest question remains how she found the portal.
Portals only reveal to those who are connected to our realm, which is why Grace was able to stumble upon one and cross it. It can't be a coincidence for that thing to find one at the exact time we were close by.
No matter how hard I try to stall until morning so I can unpack this mess with Nevaeh, my head refuses to shut up. Finally having enough, I link Harvey to come stay with Nevaeh while I go to retrace our steps.
I need to know exactly what happened last night.
Turns out Hazel and I are on the same page because I find her pacing the road behind Conquer that leads to the portal. A shared look has my gut churning. I have a feeling I won't like what we find.
Usually, by this time in the morning, the sun is starting to peak through the clouds, but today, a storm that's been brewing for days is finally making an appearance.
My heart is in my throat as I approach the portal that disappeared into thin air. A portal collapsing on itself is unheard of, and the hope I was holding onto that it was all a freaky coincidence shatters the moment Hazel points to where the portal has been tampered with.
From this end.
Despite my brain offering multiple rational explanations, my gut knows who's behind this. And when Hazel puts my nightmare into words, I stop breathing entirely.
Only Horsemen know these portals enough to disrupt their magic and force them to collapse.
Or Ex-Horsemen.
Ignoring how early in the morning it is, I link Khatri. The Warriorhead mumbles something in his sleepy daze but instantly becomes alert at my order.
“I need you to find my parents. Only take warriors you trust. Do whatever you have to, but don’t let them leave the borders, Khatri.”
I don’t stop to question his loyalty. Dean trusted him with his life and around his daughter when Nevaeh was young. That says enough in my books.
Panic slams into me when Khatri links that my parents are nowhere to be found. The sudden realization that I've left my mate alone surrounded by unsuspecting enemies has me turning around and running to her.
“What is happening Horseman Alarie?”
“I will explain everything just don't trust anyone, okay? Ignore all orders from anyone other than my family— the one I chose . And make sure no one gets in and out of the kingdom without my say-so. I want all portals to be seized immediately.”
My head is spinning, as I run back to my mate. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the new pieces of a puzzle I've found when abruptly Hazel’s arm shoots out to stop me. My steps falter, looking at the group of elders and elite warriors waiting outside the Horsemen castle.
My frustrations win as I stalk to them, but before I can ask them to leave, the former second-in-command of Conquer requests an emergency council meeting.
I'm about to tell him to scramble out of my sight when Hazel agrees on my behalf. From the bottom of my heart, I want these people to scurry off. I have no interest in diplomacy or politics when my mate’s life is in danger, but something is stopping me from doing so.
Reigning in my anger, I link Harvey to meet us in the conference room after Khatri takes over his place to stand guard over Nevaeh.
As soon as we're seated the ex-Warriorhead goes straight for the kill. “Horseman Alarie, I think we can both agree that the kingdom has been facing some serious troubles lately. And after last night, many of us are suspicious that Nevaeh might be the one responsible for it all. We have good reason to believe she is purposely putting our future leaders in harm's way.”
Watching half the room nod along in agreement and present reasons why the future Horsewoman of Death should be cast out, makes the whole picture clearer.
Everything clicks in place and it finally dawns on me.
We’re on the cusp of a coup.
This is why the coven always knew where to find us. Our own people were selling us out this entire time.
The discovery that my own people are after my love is blinding. I never thought the people I’ve sworn to protect, have laid out my life on the line for more times than I can count, would betray me in the most disgusting ways by targeting my family.
As much as I want to squeeze their necks until their last breath leaves them, I need to be smart about this.
Everyone who knitted this elaborate scheme to destroy my family right under my nose deserves worse than a quick death. I’m breathing fire as I scan the ones who agree to this nutcase my father chose as his Warriorhead and carve their names in my memory.
Soon I will carve this betrayal on their flesh.
Subtle nods from Harvey and Hazel are signs that my perfect life is about to blow up soon, and there won’t be anything subtle about it.
I sit there and act like it’s the perfect solution. I act like my heart isn’t bleeding every time they call my mate a nuisance. I act like I wouldn’t have to repeat these words to her if I have any chance of getting her to leave.
I can’t risk my mate and son staying in a place surrounded by familiar faces and unfamiliar betrayals.
I will make her leave.
Even if I have to tear my heart out and let her stomp on it to do so.
◆◆◆
Present.
It’s funny how one night can turn your life upside down. It’s been seven days since Nevaeh left— Correction —seven days since I made her leave.
Broke her heart, her trust, and my family to pieces.
I will never forget the hurt I saw in her eyes when I refused her touch. The way her eyes held back tears, tears that I caused, is an image that will forever be engraved in my mind. I made a promise to keep her safe and ended up being the one to hurt her the most.
That day, I wanted her to call me names, yell at me, curse me, or even stab me, so I could feel a fraction of the pain I was forcing on her, but I forgot how loud that evil voice in her head could get.
I’m the one who proved her fears right.
I just know that voice made her believe she deserved it, that what I did was a long time coming, and now she knew better than to repeat her mistake.
Her mistake of falling in love with me.
Her mistake of letting me destroy her walls only to destroy her along the way.
Fates I wish she was here. I wish I could breathe in her addictive scent and feel complete with her touch, but all I can do is curse the night our world fell apart.
I tried to link her that day, to tell her I didn’t mean a word I said, but she was too broken to realize her headache was my fault— just like her heartache .
Since the day I asked my mate to leave, I have spent every single minute trying to figure out a way to flush out the traitors and get my mate back.
If only I could figure something out.
I’ve never been this dysfunctional before. I want to get this over with so I can bring my sweetheart back home, back to where she belongs, and beg for her forgiveness, but everything is upside down, and I can barely think straight.
The worst part is how Seiji and Grace haven’t talked or even looked my way since that day. They've locked themselves in their respective rooms and Grace has absolutely refused to see Harvey. It’s killing the poor man.
The castle has never looked emptier. The living room resembles a ghost town. It was never this quiet even when it was just the four of us living here.
The door to my office suddenly bursts open with such force it rattles the walls. With no care for the dent I'll have to repair, Seiji marches straight to my desk and delivers a bone-cracking punch to my jaw before I can blink.
Okay, I deserve that.
“I tried to stop them.” Harvey runs in, out of breath, to stand next to Grace, who completely ignores his existence and tries to hold Seiji back from throwing another punch.
“He's lying. Again . I told him to move, and he did,” Grace retorts.
Harvey rubs the back of his neck and looks down, but I don’t blame him. I can’t even imagine what the rift between the new couple must be like.
“We want the truth. The whole truth. Now.” Taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of my desk, Grace makes herself comfortable. When the room remains dead quiet, she scoffs impatiently. “Is it because we hold no major position in the kingdom?”
“Come on Gracie, you know that’s not it.”
Banging his fists on my table, Seiji asks, “Then tell me how is it? Because the way I see it, the soul twins are clearly part of it while we are left out. Why don't I see them ripping their hair out, getting sick with worry over Nevaeh and August.”
Hazel turns her back to me and stomps to the door. When I think she’s about to leave, Hazel slams the door shut and stands with her back against it, making sure our conversation remains private.
Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Seiji takes the seat next to Grace. He makes no effort to hide his disappointment, but when his eyes level mine, I know Seiji is trying to understand what changed in those couple of hours.
“I’ve known you my whole life, Anxo. So don't you dare lie and say it didn't tear you apart to watch her leave. It's like you were trying to hurt her, to make her walk away by saying all that shit.” Seiji and Grace share a look before Seiji breathes out, “Look at you man, you look like a pathetic heartbroken puppy. Anyone with eyes can see you didn’t want her gone, so what the fuck happened? Why did you do that?”
Seiji might sound sympathetic, but his eyes hold a clear warning that this is the last time he's asking nicely .
Leaning back in my chair, I heave out a long sigh, running a hand through the stubble I haven’t bothered to shave in days.
“We gave you a week to get your shit together, but all you do is mope around and stalk our warriors like a creepy ex-boyfriend. So, spill.”
Seiji is clearly at the end of his rope, and my dramatic pause will only get me another purple bruise.
I have some seriously aggressive friends.
I massage my temple to relieve the constant throbbing before I tell them everything—from the fumbling nurse to the double-timing warriors. How the portal didn’t really collapse and the coup of our lifetime.
I still can’t figure out how we teleported back to the kingdom that night and neither can anyone else. Even the strongest beings can't cross our heavily spelled barriers without dying, so who did that?
“So that was your plan? Get Nevaeh to leave and then what? Sit around and wait for the traitors to come to you?” Grace interrogates us and Harvey and Hazel quickly look down to avoid her wrath.
“No, I thought… I thought—” I stutter.
“What have you figured out then? Who else is involved in this coup other than your treacherous parents? I still don't understand why they would do this. What’s the end goal? And why only target Nevaeh, why not Harvey or Seiji? What about the coven, do—”
The questions Grace is throwing at us are precisely the ones that run through my mind every damn second, but I don’t have the answers. I can’t even say I saved Nevaeh by hurting her heart because all I did was delay the threat.
B ut I couldn’t think .
My mind stopped working the second the amount of danger Nevaeh was in, settled into my bones.
I couldn't think of anything other than getting her far away from this place.
Blinking fast, I keep my head down and ruffle through the mountain of papers that now spot a few teardrops.
Fates, Anxo you don’t have enough time to drown in your pain. I have to try to keep my head straight. There's too much work to be done.
“I don't have the answer to any of that. I just know Nevaeh wasn’t safe here,” I croak out, not daring to lift my head and pass a file to them so they can see I at least made arrangements to keep my sweetheart safe. “They still have protection. I have my best and most trusted warriors keeping guard.”
Rubbing her temple, Grace sighs, “This is a mess. It would've been much easier to digest if this was the soul twins idea, but I can't believe you came up with this plan, Anxo. What were you thinking? ”
The repeated mention of my epic failure is starting to grate on my nerves, and I’m getting sick of hearing it. My brain is way too jumbled to process my guilt and everything that's been happening all at once.
I'm trying to identify the traitors, maintaining two kingdoms, overseeing security, preventing the coven from attacking, and constantly defending my decision to adopt August. Everything that's been building up for days finally reaches its peak and I just... snap.
“That Nevaeh was going to die if she stayed here!” Banging my fist against my desk, I glare at the papers in front of me. “She was being targeted in her own home, and I had no fucking idea by who. I had to get her out of here. Did you stop to think what would've happened if I started sniffing out traitors while she was still here? What if someone—” Fisting my hair, I take a sharp breath.
For once, I have no idea what to do or where to start. I’m someone who always has a plan, is always ten steps ahead but this has caught me off-guard. My own oversight has gotten me into this mess.
“I admit I don’t have all the answers, but I wasn’t going to gamble with my mate's life. You saw the lengths Visha was willing to go, and who knows what she has in mind next. Letting them stay meant telling Nevaeh that her home wasn't safe anymore, and I couldn't do that to her, okay?”
Grace opens her mouth to throw another logic my way when I say, “Can you tell me you would've done anything differently if Harvey was the intended target.”
Grace bites the side of her cheek and sniffs. If just the thought of being in my shoes is hurting her then she definitely doesn't want to be in my head right now.
The pain of knowing I hurt my mate to keep her safe only to massively fail at the task is heart-wrenching.
I understand her frustration. It was torture to put my love for Nevaeh and August aside and approach this logically. And even if it hurts right now, I know removing them from the equation was my safest bet.
Looking my family in the eye, I try to convince them I’m doing my best because I really am. “I needed her to be safe before I could turn this place upside down.”
Grabbing my hand, Grace links our fingers, silently telling me she understands. I know she doesn't agree with the way I went about things— I don't either —but knowing your mate is in danger messes with your head.
With a determined nod, Grace snatches the notepad from my desk and starts writing something aggressively.
Pushing off the chair, Seiji picks up a map before sweeping everything off the table.
“I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Oh, no problem, Seiji. Live your dreams.
It’s not like it took me days to sort those out.
“We need a plan.” Hopping on the table, Seiji lays out the map and stares at it intently as if the piece of paper will give him all the answers he needs.
Hazel comes closer to look at the locations Grace is marking on the map.
“I might have an idea.”
Fates, I’ve never been more grateful for Grace.
The need to have my sweetheart back is clouding my mind, and the guilt of hurting her is killing me so much that I can’t even form proper sentences, let alone an elaborate plan.
“Of course, you do,” Harvey boasts, but a sharp glare from his mate shuts him up.
“None of you are forgiven. I’m doing this for my sister and nephew.”
I have a lot of people to make things right with and not a lot of time.
Have mercy on me Fates.