Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“ARE YOU GONNA COME FOR me, June?” Alex trails his lips down my neck from behind, his rich voice rumbling through his chest. “Show me what you look like when you come apart.”
I lean into him, arching my back, and he pulls me closer, snaking his arm around my waist while his other hand dips lower, exploring. Teasing.
My hips buck, and in an instant, everything dissolves into blackness as I’m jerked awake.
I shoot up, looking around my empty bedroom while my eyes adjust to the darkness, still able to feel the warmth of his hands on me.
With a deep-seated groan, I fall back against my pillow. The dreams are amping up. They never really stopped, but since he crashed back into my life, they’ve been happening a few times a week. And each time, they feel increasingly more real.
I exhale a deep breath, bringing my palm to my chest, trying to calm my racing heart. My pulse pounds everywhere—my neck, my head, between my legs. I’m physically aching for him.
He’s the only person who’s ever done this to me. I’ve never craved anyone the way I have Alex. Not Kevin. Not Drew. Certainly not Jason.
Only Alex.
Fucking hell, June. I sit up and rummage through my nightstand until I locate the velvet pouch that houses my favorite vibrator.
My body spasms thinking back to the lodge, having his hands on me. The way his arm curled around me in bed, holding me against him, his breath on my neck. I squeeze my legs together as another wave of need thrums between my thighs.
I can’t take it anymore. I kick off the blankets and tear my shirt off, then shimmy out of my underwear. When I click the power button on the toy, it gives a pathetic little pit pit pit.
Ugh. I hit the device with the heel of my hand, trying to get it going. I’ve been using it so much lately, it barely gets the job done before the battery fizzles out. It used to whir to life like the engine on a Mustang. Now, it needs a jump-start.
Please just last long enough to get me off.
I spread my legs and drag the silicone head over my throbbing center, positioning the vibrator right where I need it. The gentle suction pulls at me, and I tap the setting higher.
Yes, there.
The unparalleled tingles awaken every one of my nerves, and I sink deeper into the mattress. No man has ever come close to getting me off like this toy does. But I bet Alex could.
A quiet moan escapes me as I picture his skilled hands cupping my breasts, pinching my nipples. My hair falls down my shoulder, the dark red strands tickling my skin. Fantasy Alex fists my hair, tipping my head back to run his hot tongue down my neck.
I need to taste you, he says.
I moan again, louder this time. Next thing I know, I’m grinding against the toy, writhing on the bed as soft mewling noises climb up my throat.
I tilt my hips up, and the new angle sends a superior shockwave surging through me. I claw at the pillow next to me, wedging it under my ass.
Yes. Oh, god, yes.
This orgasm is charging at me like a runaway freight train, ready to shatter me into oblivion. Frantic pants tear from my lips as I thrust on the bed, moving in tandem with my hand, imagining it’s Alex.
You ready to come, June? Fuck. I can feel his hot breath on my neck. A guttural sound breaks free from somewhere deep in my core.
Shit. That’s new.
“June?”
I shriek, flailing my arms, and the vibrator goes flying across the room. It crashes against the wall with one last pitiful buzz before it sputters out.
Alex?
In my apartment?
What the fuck is he doing here?
I gasp, covering my mouth. Did I do this? Did I manifest him?
Suddenly, the night comes flashing back. Hitting my head. Refusing to go to the ER. Alex insisting on staying over. I eye the cold pack on my nightstand. I poke it and it sags under my finger, the hard gel now melted and squishy.
“Are you okay?” The couch squeaks and my stomach drops. He’s getting up. He’s walking toward the bedroom. And my door is open.
“DON’T COME IN HERE!” I shout, gathering the sheets around me in a makeshift cocoon.
“I’m not! I won’t!” He sounds just as panicked as I do.
Oh, god.
He knows.
I lurch out of bed and grab my sleep shirt off the floor. I try to cram it over my head, only to realize I’m shoving my face in the sleeve hole. Dammit! I heave the shirt back off and eye my bathrobe, perched on the edge of the bed.
Why is it there?
It doesn’t matter. I throw it on and yank the tie closed, then smooth the terrycloth fabric down. I step through the open doorway, trapped somewhere between fight or flight and blue balls. Leaning against the doorframe, I cross my arms, trying my best to appear unruffled.
Fuck him for looking so put together. He’s still suited up in last night’s button-down and slacks, socked feet unassumingly peeking out from beneath the hem.
“Are you okay?” he asks, running his hand through his mussed hair. “I heard a crash.”
“That was nothing,” I blurt. “Nothing crashed. Nothing broke. Everything’s fine.”
He winces. “It broke?”
“NOTHING brOKE, ALEX.”
He coughs to cover up his laugh. “It’s okay, everybody does it. We got to hear all about the benefits last night.”
My jaw falls open, but before I die of shame, he lifts his hand and says, “How’s your head?”
I rub the spot above my eyebrow and wince. It’s sore, but another dose of Tylenol should take the edge off. “It’s better.”
“Must be if you were doing that.”
Oh, god. I was making … sounds. He heard me making sounds.
He needs to go.
“Do you need some new artillery?” Alex pulls out his phone. “Should I call Savannah? See if she can expedite an order?”
Flames rage inside me at the mention of her name.
He brought her up so easily, too. He may have taken care of me last night—out of pity, I’m sure—but I bet he’s itching to call her and buy her that drink.
Then they’ll go back to her place. She’ll whip out her portable sex shop on wheels and do all kinds of kinky shit that I’ve never even heard of.
Alex, lay down so I can douse you in sexual enhancement gel. Trust me, you’ll love it.
“Don’t bother,” I mutter, unable to mask the hurt in my voice. “I’ll order something online. Free one-day shipping. Problem solved.”
A coy grin plays at his lips. “You’re jealous.”
My exaggerated scoff lets him know just how jealous I truly am. “Of what?” Her insane boobs? Her flowy blond hair and pouty lips? Her unquestionable skills in the sack? I’m all thirty-one flavors combined. Get the fuck out of here with your kinky ice cream.
He steps closer, slipping his finger under the tie of my robe. “You look like Tinkerbell when she meets Wendy.”
My cheeks burn, searing hot. Now the image is undoubtedly more accurate.
“Tell me, January …” He curls his index finger, tugging me an inch forward. “Were you thinking about me in there?”
My gasp is barely audible as I inhale a sharp breath.
I should be mortified. Alex Cardoso not only caught me using a vibrator, but he knows I was thinking about him.
I wait for the accompanying shame to swallow me whole, but it doesn’t come.
Instead, all I feel is exhilaration. Especially with the sultry way he called me January.
His eyes smolder with something that looks a lot like lust, and it makes my entire core ignite.
Without consulting my brain, my mouth opens, unleashing the sultriest voice I’ve ever heard.
“I don’t know. Do you think about me when you’re going old school?
” Of its own accord, my hand flexes in a seductive wave.
Oh, god. I’m possessed.
But to my absolute shock, a wicked grin crosses his face.
Is that … is that a yes?
His fingers slide to the side of my waist in a gentle yet commanding hold. A breath escapes me at the contact. In a featherlight caress, his other hand slinks up my neck and cups my jaw. “I haven’t been able to think about anything but you.”
My breath hitches as my heart pummels wildly against my ribcage. He’s thought about me? Only me?
My lips part, and he runs his thumb along the lower curve. It’s a promise for what’s to come. What I’ve been desperately aching for—not just the past few weeks, but since that day he handed me his burgundy hoodie nearly twenty years ago.
Flames lick up my spine. I slide my fingers through the feathery wisps of his hair, anchoring myself. When his eyes flutter, it’s nearly my undoing.
The landline rings, startling me.
But not Alex. It’s like he doesn’t even register it.
He leans down, his lips a breath away from mine. “Nothing is taking me out of this moment.” Heat swirls in the depths of his hazel eyes, matching the desire pooling between my legs.
The phone rings again, and a robotic voice announces, “Call from Mom.”
My mother? Now? Does she have a fucking camera in here?
“Fuck.” Alex tips his head back. “Maybe that.”
“The machine will get it,” I say in a breathy whisper. “Kiss me.”
He brings his focus back to me, a hopeful smile taking over his face. The third ring triggers the recording. Hi, it’s June. Leave a message.
“I can’t kiss you with Nancy’s voice in the background.” His thumb skates back across my lower lip. He hasn’t taken his eyes off it. I hold his stare, kissing the pad of his thumb, and a deep groan rumbles in his chest.
The machine beeps. “June, it’s Mom.” Her voice quivers, and she inhales a sharp breath, as if she’s trying to steady herself.
I swallow my irritation. She’s the queen of manipulation. There’s no way she’s honestly this worked up over our fight.
Alex and I stare at one another while my mother takes an eternity to continue. His pulse hammers under the hinge of his jaw, thump-thump-thump. I’m dying to feel it against my lips.
Hurry up and apologize, Mother. I need to get my mouth on Alex’s neck.
“Your grandmother …”—her voice cuts out as the speaker crackles—“… hospital …”—more static—“… unconscious.”
I gasp, pushing out of Alex’s grip, and lunge for the phone. “Mom? Mom?”
“June,” she sobs. “Your grandma … her diabetes …” She garbles the next few words, and I can’t understand anything she’s saying. Gram’s blood sugar must have gotten too high.
“Which hospital?” I clutch the receiver, praying she’s okay.
“Cedars.”
I nod. “I’m on my way.” The words barely make it out as I hang up and fight the urge to crumple into a ball. Gram is in the hospital because I told her sugar was okay in moderation. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.
“June?” Alex steps up behind me, and the gentleness in his voice breaks me.
“It’s my fault.” My voice pitters out, barely a whisper.
“Hey, nothing is your fault.” He pulls me into a hug, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. It’s warm and so unbelievably comforting. A complete contrast to the sexually charged hold he had me in mere moments ago.
My entire world flipped upside down in less than a minute.
All because of me.
“It is.” I sob into his chest. “It’s all my fault.”
His fingers glide along my back, rubbing soothing circles over my shoulders. But I can’t stay like this. I don’t deserve to be comforted. “I have to get to the hospital.” I push out of his grip and cringe when I realize I’m still wearing my bathrobe, completely naked underneath. “I need to change.”
I shut my bedroom door and pull on a bra and underwear, then yank a T-shirt and jeans from my dresser. Gram might not make it, and it’s all my fault. My hands quiver as I force my legs through the denim and throw the T-shirt over my head, then shove my feet into some slip-on tennis shoes.
I charge back to the living room, and Alex pulls his keys out of his pocket.
“You ready?”
“That’s sweet, but you don’t need to come.” I grab my purse from the couch and sling it over my shoulder. “I’ll be all right.”
Then I halt mid-step. I don’t have my car. It’s still on campus from last night. Alex has to drive. Either that or I call an Uber.
Fuck.
Alex steps toward me, dipping his head to meet my gaze. “I want to drive you. Even if you had your car, I’d still want to drive you right now.”
My fists clench at my sides as I search his eyes. Is this what it’s like to have someone take care of you?
He lifts his eyebrows, waiting for me to respond.
“Okay,” I finally manage, and he nods in return. We head down the heap of stairs until we reach his SUV, his hand never leaving the small of my back. It may be insignificant to him, but it makes me feel incredibly cared for. He peels away from the curb, and I pray we make it before it’s too late.