Chapter 9 Chance
Chance
Deacon
I rubbed a rough hand over my chin as I followed the sway of Jenny’s curvy hips down the main hallway in St. Michael’s.
As if we hadn’t had the face-off of all face-offs in the parking lot, she waved and smiled as every fucking nurse in there greeted her or teased her or thanked her for their everlasting supply of freshly baked goods.
And it wasn’t the polite, tentative smile I’d grown accustomed to seeing since I’d been back, this was a real smile. It reached her eyes.
She was a different person here.
Or maybe she was a different person in Moose Lake; a watered down, muted version of the woman I fell in love with.
The nurses lit up when they saw her, then their eyes flitted to my face and their smiles fled.
What a fucking mess.
My grandma’s eyebrows rose to her hairline when she saw us come in together. She began to smile until I dashed her hopes with a minute shake of my head.
For the next hour, Jenny flitted around my grandma and Ansel as I pulled up a seat and made like a fucking tree stump.
Conversation flowed back and forth between the three of them as my grandma systematically plowed through the broken cookies, much to Jenny’s delight. I contributed little to nothing as I considered and discarded one plan after another to gain Jenny’s trust.
Or at least get her to give me a chance.
“I worry about you, Jenny,” Ansel commented, snagging my full, frowning concentration. “You need to get out and have some fun.”
“I have fun,” she protested weakly, her eyes growing wary.
His shifty eyes and my grandmother’s sudden bout of fidgeting told me they were up to something.
Ansel leveled Jenny with his rheumy gaze as she lifted her water to her lips. “Of course you do. Darlene and I are a barrel of laughs.”
“Speak for yourself, old man,” Darlene retorted, tossing Jenny a smile. “I’m a fucking hoot.”
I grinned for the first time since arriving, chuckling at my grandma’s cheeky wink.
Jenny’s eyes bugged out of her head as her water shot down the wrong tube. She coughed and sputtered, covering her mouth with the back of her hand as her eyes rapidly welled with tears.
Aw, fuck.
Today was too much, a rollercoaster of emotions, a ride she never wanted to jump on.
I needed to get her out of here and find a way to take care of her while I did what I could to fix what I broke.
I sprang to my feet and crossed to her side, splaying my palm over her back. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, coughing into her fist as I bent to rub a slow circle over her slender back until she shuddered under my hand.
“Was it the ‘fuck’?” Darlene asked in her most innocent voice.
“Well, it wasn’t the bloody ‘hoot,’” Ansel countered.
Jenny’s shoulders began to shake.
I dropped down to my haunches and dipped my chin to see Jenny’s face. “Baby,” I pleaded.
She waved me away, lifted her head, and laughed, the sound bubbling up from deep in her belly.
Ansel’s eyes lit up, Grandma beamed, and I sucked in a sharp breath before staring back at Jenny in wonder.
“God, you’re beautiful when you laugh,” I muttered gruffly.
“She is, isn’t she?” Ansel agreed smugly. “She’s the prettiest flower in the garden. You should take her out on a date.”
Jenny’s laughter faded as quickly as it began. “Ansel,” she warned even as she blushed a dusky pink.
“A date is a great idea,” Darlene declared. “In fact, it’ll be my treat.”
“Oh, no,” Jenny protested as she swiped the tears from her cheeks. “That’s okay.”
“Nonsense,” Grandma retorted. “You bring me treats every week. Let me treat you for once.”
She turned to me. “And God knows you don’t have any fun. Make an old woman happy and take this young woman skiing in Sage Ridge.”
“Skiing?” Jenny squeaked.
Ignoring my warning look, Grandma’s attention whipped back to Jenny. “Do you ski?”
“I taught her to ski,” I murmured before Jenny had a chance to shake her head. “We used to go skiing all the time.”
“It’s a very nice offer, but I haven’t been skiing in over ten years,” she protested, pointedly ignoring me before turning to glare at Ansel.
Grandma lifted her tiny, pink, slipper-covered foot and stomped on my instep.
I grunted in surprise, gaining everyone’s attention.
Jenny narrowed her eyes at me, her message clear.
I smiled into her flashing eyes. Maybe it was from Grandma I inherited my AirForce nickname. “I would love to take you skiing.”
Skiing wasn’t nearly as good as flying, but speeding down that slope, wrestling nature to submit to my will, well, it came close.
“The bakery is closed on Mondays,” Ansel offered.
Jenny blinked and her jaw dropped.
“Excellent!” Grandma clapped her hands. “It’s settled.” Her gaze skittered to the side for a moment, then she adopted her best innocent look. “Maybe you should leave now and stay over at the resort!”
“No,” Jenny snapped, jumping to her feet. “A day trip is fine.”
“Take lots of pictures!” Grandma ordered gleefully while Ansel ducked his head to hide his smile.
The two of them couldn’t be more obvious, except perhaps to the woman panicking at the thought of being trapped with me for an entire day, including the two hours it took to drive to Sage Ridge, and another two hours back.
When we left St. Michael’s shortly after lunch, Jenny didn’t say a single word until we reached her apartment.
Opening her door, she swung her legs out of my truck.
“Jenny,” I called.
She raised wary, defeated eyes to meet mine.
Inside, I winced, but I wouldn’t let her off the hook.
“I’ll pick you up at eight.”
Of all the things I expected on the drive to Sage Ridge the next morning, Jenny snoring softly in the passenger seat beside me for two solid hours didn’t even make the top ten.
Reaching into the back seat, I grabbed the extra blanket I kept in case of emergencies and tossed it over her legs before increasing the heat on her side. Just having her near made me happier than I’d been in a long time.
It was only now, in the quiet, her even breaths and soft snores beside me, space opened up and allowed me to grasp all that I’d lost.
Eleven years ago, when the shit hit the fan, I focussed on her betrayal. No one reminisces about the good times when they’re spitting nails. And I chewed those fuckers for ten years despite the picture I carried in my wallet for most of them.
When I was with Carolyn, I tried to throw it out but ended up packing it away in the back of my closet. And felt the loss every day. That should have told me more than anything that Carolyn wasn’t for me.
Since learning the truth, after that first night when I wanted to burn the whole fucking world down, I’d turned my rage into focussing on getting home and winning Jenny back.
But here in the quiet of the truck with her beside me, I remembered cuddling her in our bed and teasing her for those soft snores, which only showed up when she was overtired.
The dark circles under her eyes this morning didn’t escape my notice.
Nor did I miss the fact I caused them.
I remembered making love to her every night, sometimes more than once.
At twenty-two, I could do that. The way her elegant neck arched back, her pretty face flushed, her sweet mouth gasping as she rippled around me with her fingers digging into my ass and leaving tiny crescent marks in my shoulders.
Holding me so desperately tight.
As if I’d ever let her go.
And then I fucking did.
I twisted my mouth to the side, wanting nothing more than to bury those memories deep, but if she had to remember, so should I.
One after the other, they flew at me, some so sweet they hurt my teeth, others a poison twisting my insides.
God help me, I remembered the messages she left on my phone.
And the last call when she didn’t bother.
My knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as I pulled up along the curb in downtown Sage Ridge and stopped.
She sighed in her sleep, bringing me back to the present.
Reaching over, I brushed the backs of my fingers over the softness of her cheek. “We’re here, baby.”
She stretched then curled toward me, blinking herself awake.
When her eyes met mine, she smiled shyly and reached out her hand to touch my face. “Hi, handsome.”
My breath caught in my throat as I stared back at her. Jenny smiling at me, foggy from sleep, the past the farthest thing from her mind. If I couldn’t have more, I’d stay right here in the cab of my truck, her soft blue eyes smiling into mine.
I’d give anything to stay in this moment.
It took a few seconds for the past to catch up to her.
I watched her smile fade as the skin around her eyes tightened.
She withdrew her hand and shifted in her seat, clearing her throat. “Are you ready to ski?”
“Do you want to get breakfast?”
“I could go for a muffin from The Beanery. Do you think it’s still here?”
“A muffin?” I asked. “Not a chocolate croissant?”
Her stomach grumbled.
She offered a half smile. “Maybe both. And two hot chocolates to go.”
“Done!” I declared.
She grabbed hold of the door handle, but I tugged her elbow.
Clearing my throat, I reached into the back and grabbed the bag from the Peppergrove Mall. Voice gruff, preparing for the worst, I admitted, “I got you something yesterday.”
Her eyes widened with surprise and wonder. Delicate fingers going to her chest, she clarified, “For me?”
I passed her the bag. “I hope you like it.”
She peered inside and froze. “You bought this.”
“If you don’t like it, I’ll get you something else. Hell, we can go together, and you can pick out your own.”
She didn’t move. “For me,” she clarified.
“Is it the colour? Buns and Biscuits is pink, your apartment is pink, it seemed like a good guess.” I was babbling like a fool. “And I’ve always loved you in pink.”
She extended one finger into the bag and stroked the material. Her voice small, she asked, “You bought this for me yesterday?”
“You need a new coat,” I explained gruffly. “Will you at least try it on?”
When she pushed the bag down to the floorboards, I steeled my heart for disappointment.
Releasing her seatbelt, she launched herself across the cab and threw her arms around me.
I wrapped her up tight, my eyes squeezing shut at the feel of her trembling in my arms.
“Thank you for thinking of me,” she whispered.
My mouth twisted and I squeezed my eyes shut as I absorbed the blow that something so small could elicit this reaction.
She deserved so much more.
Pressing my face into her hair, I breathed her in. “There’s a matching hat and warm mittens underneath. If it doesn’t fit—”
She pulled back to her own side, and her chin dipped with purpose. “I’ll make it fit.”
I laughed. “If it doesn’t fit, I got the exact same thing in the next size up.”
Her soft eyes flitted up to mine before flitting away once more. “You weren’t leaving anything to chance.”
My smile slipped away. “I don’t intend to leave anything to chance this time.”