Chapter 10
Wingman
Deacon
At the ski counter rentals, Jenny chewed her bottom lip.
“Has it been a while?” I asked.
She frowned, looking disgruntled but entirely harmless under the powder pink knit hat. She nodded, the giant pom-pom nodding with her. “Since the last time with you.”
“You want to take the inner tubes like we did the first time we came to Sage Ridge?”
She brightened.
I turned to the curvy brunette with the sassy blue streak in her hair behind the counter and held up two fingers. “Two tubes.”
“You got it,” she chirped, struggling to heave them over the counter that nearly reached her chest.
I reached over and took them from her hands.
She threw Jenny a wink. “You got a good one there.”
Jenny smiled softly and dipped her chin, running her hands over the front of her new coat before adjusting her thick-knit matching mittens.
I wanted this woman; I’d always wanted this woman. But now I wanted to take care of her, protect her, fight to make this world softer for her, as well as make her mine.
If buying her a coat made her smile like that? I’d buy ten.
“Ready?” I asked gruffly.
Jenny huffed out a soft laugh. “I hope you’re ready to get in your steps.”
I groaned as the memory caught up with me. “I forgot about that.”
She laughed, letting down her guard for just a second.
I wished I could have captured that moment, Jenny laughing under the bright, sunny, winter-blue sky.
I side-eyed her as we made our way to the lift. “Do you like your coat?”
She chewed the inside of her bottom lip for a moment then nodded slowly.
“It’s not too long?” I pressed.
She shook her head vehemently. “Not at all. It’s perfect.”
I inhaled, my chest filling with brisk winter air. Enough talk. Talking led to fighting, and I needed to hear her laugh again.
I’d give my right arm for another hug.
Reaching for her hand, I tugged her in front of me before placing my hand at her back. “Let’s go.”
The first time we went down, her tube stopped half a fucking mile before mine.
I trekked back up the hill to meet her before taking the lift together, shaking my head at the smirk on her face. “You’re enjoying this a little too much,” I grumbled.
She chuckled and glanced away. “I don’t hate it.”
“Little sadist,” I griped, earning another smile. “Let’s go again.”
The next three times went much the same way. On our fourth run, I tossed her tube down without her.
She gasped, my name slipping from her lips easily. “Deacon! What are you doing?”
I sat down on my tube and pulled her down with me. “If I’m going down, you’re going down with me.”
“That’s cheating!” She declared. “It’s not my fault you’re a tank.”
Her words turned into a scream as we flew down the hill, picking up speed as we went.
She threw her head back and laughed, her arms flying out to the sides as I held her body tight to mine.
My chest squeezed tight; her joy, my pain. I wanted more of this, so much more of this with her.
At the bottom she bounced up, cheeks red from the wind, eyes sparkling from her wide smile. A real one. “Again!”
I laughed. “One more time and then we get something to eat.”
“Hot chocolate first,” she negotiated. “I need to warm up.”
“Deal.”
Forty-five minutes later, we were walking down the sunny main street in search of food. After an initial jolt of surprise when I tugged off her mitten, she laced her fingers through mine and allowed me to tuck both of our hands into my coat pocket.
Feeling like the luckiest man on the planet, I didn’t release her until we reached the door of Susie Q’s diner. Guiding her inside with my hand at the small of her back, I was exactly where I’d always wanted to be.
We sat across from each other at a tiny table with mismatched chairs beside a window topped with a cheery, albeit faded, curtain.
She smiled as she dug into her meatloaf and mashed potatoes like she hadn’t tasted food in a year.
“Worked up an appetite?” I teased.
“Shut up,” she answered. “It’s a good thing you bought the next size up. I’m going to need it by the time I’m done here.”
“We’ll go to the mall and exchange it for something else,” I offered. “Anything you want.”
She eyed me for a second then shook her head. “I don’t need anything else.” Eyes flitting away, she added, “I’ll pay you back for the coat.”
“It’s a gift, Jenny. Don’t insult me by trying to pay for it,” I growled.
She dropped her eyes to the table and offered a tiny nod. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“Are you glad you enlisted?”
“Yes,” I answered, then offered her a half-smile. “And no.”
“Explain?”
“I needed to grow up and find my own way. The AirForce gave me the space and structure to do that. But I saw a lot I wish I hadn’t, and it turns out I don’t want to make the AirForce my career.”
“Did you have a nickname?”
I smiled. “Wingman.”
Her face fell.
I rushed to explain. “I didn’t pick up women the way the rest of them did. It was my job to hype them up.”
“Wingman,” she murmured, then looked at me slyly. “A bit like your grandma.”
I laughed and nodded. “Something like that.”
One question flowed into the next, and I answered every single one of them, even those that ripped me up inside.
“Did you have a best friend?”
My heart jackrabbited in my chest, but I smiled easily. “You get close to all your brothers.”
Her gaze remained steady on mine.
“Charlie,” I blurted. “Charlie was the one I talked to the most, I guess.”
“Was?”
I offered a jerky nod.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
By the time the waitress dropped our bill on the table, I was more than ready for a change in subject.
“Bundle up.” I nodded toward the window. “Sun’s going down.”
She stumbled on our way back to the truck.
I yanked her up by her elbow and tucked her under my arm. Where she belonged. “Tired?”
She offered me a wary smile. The battle between her heart and her head had picked up once more. “Exhausted.”
Her guards were rising fast.
“You had fun today?” I pushed.
Her throat bobbed as she looked away briefly before turning back and nodding. “Yes.”
“Good.”
At the truck, I handed her in. Leaning over her, I latched her seatbelt before closing the door.
She was quiet on the way home, not breaking the silence between us until we reached her door.
She dipped her chin. “Thank you. I had fun,” she admitted softly.
That soft admission made me feel like a fucking king. “Can I come in?”
She nodded slowly. “Just for a few minutes. I’ve, uh, got an early start tomorrow.”
I shadowed her up the stairs, then stepped forward, covering her back from the chill of the wind as she slipped her key into the lock.
Once inside, we shed our coats and boots, her hands running down the length of her new coat once more as she hung it on the hook.
Rubbing my cold hands together, I followed her into the kitchen.
She looked up at me with wide, fear-filled eyes. “Hot chocolate?”
“If I have any more hot chocolate, I’ll turn into the fucking Easter bunny.”
She barked out a laugh, and some of the tension eased from her frame. “How about a coffee?”
I nodded. “That I can do.”
As she turned to the coffee maker, I wandered into her living room. This was the furthest she’d allowed me into her space.
It was warm and cozy, so many blankets and pillows I could scarcely find the couch. The soft, muted walls provided the backdrop for a room that was vibrant and alive with colour.
A bookshelf held more DVDs than books, and I couldn’t help but smile at the selection of chick flicks.
Crossing to the over-sized chair I guessed was her favourite from the sinking in the middle of the cushion, I picked up the book on the table beside it and flipped it over to read the back.
My eyebrows rose slowly as I read.
“Um—”
I turned to take in her flushed face and smirked. “Interesting reading material you’ve got here.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes.
My whole body came alert.
There she is.
The Jenny I remembered, the girl I loved, she was in there, buried beneath the hurt.
And I was going to get her the fuck out.
My eyes wandered over her beautiful face before dropping to her delicate collarbone, skimming over the soft mounds of her breasts, and diving into the dip at her waist that invited my hands and tongue and teeth to explore the sensual flare of her hip.
Swallowing hard, I dragged my eyes back to hers.
Her eyelids fluttered as she stared back at me, hunger flaring in her gaze as desire sent a rush of colour to her chest.
Dropping the book back onto the side table, I slowly stalked toward her, making my intent clear.
Her hands flew out to her sides and her eyes widened in alarm, but when I reached her and cupped the back of her head, it fell back in my hands in surrender.
I tugged her closer and tipped her chin up further until her pretty eyes locked onto mine, a mix of fear, desire, and anger swirling in their depths.
“I’ve dreamed of this,” I confessed, my voice hoarse with longing.
Her hands flew up to latch onto my forearms.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” I promised.
Her eyes widened, her sweet lips parting. To protest? To plead?
It didn’t matter.
Dipping my head, I gently pressed my lips to hers.
My stomach clenched like a fist and my blood roared in my ears. It was the first time all over again, only this time I understood everything I had to lose.
She tasted like chocolate, smelled like freshly fallen snow, and felt like hope.
I groaned deep in my chest as I moved my lips over hers and watched her eyes roll back in her head as if she’d just imbibed the most potent aphrodisiac.
My tongue lashed the seam of her sweet mouth, begging her to let me in.
Once, twice, a third time, then, with a soft mewl that sounded too much like distress, she opened for me.
My eyes closed as that sound pierced my heart.
Knees quaking like never before, I swept my tongue inside and tasted her for the first time in over a decade.
She froze, her fingers digging into my arms, and I prayed to God she wouldn’t stop this. Not now, not when I felt truly alive for the first time since I left.
She was scared, and she had a right to be.
She didn’t believe in me yet, but she was going to be okay.
Better than okay.
I’d make sure of it.
I stroked her tongue with mine, nipped at her perfect bottom lip and brushed a kiss over the Cupid’s bow of her top.
With one hand at the small of her back and the other in her hair, I held her immobile, afraid to let up in case she disappeared.
Jenny was in my arms, finally, her sweet mouth panting into mine, soft little mewls escaping her throat.
God, I’d missed her.
Trailing my lips along the line of her jaw, I dipped to press a kiss to her neck before dragging my stubble along her throat.
Her breath hitched.
Her hands fisted in my shirt.
And she caught fire.
Hands slipping under my arms to sweep up my chest and neck, she fisted my hair in both hands, the sting reminding me where we’d been and just how far we had to go before she dragged my mouth back to hers.
I supported her lower back as she arched into me, pressing her breasts against my chest and rolling her hips against my erection.
“Oh God,” she gasped, breaking the kiss for a second and rolling her hips once more.
My poor baby trembled with need.
Everything in me wanted to ease her but not at the cost of her dismissing me as a mistake and casting me aside in the morning. If she even let me stay for the night.
I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her body flush to mine, tight enough that she couldn’t move, and cupped my hand around the nape of her neck.
“Yes,” she hissed, and my fucking hips punched forward.
Pulling her back half a breath, I softened my mouth and fell into our kiss. Slowly and thoroughly, I explored her anew.
Focussed on her sweet taste.
Languidly stroking her tongue with mine as I smoothed my hand up and down her slender back to cup her round hip.
My body shook with the effort to hold back as I gently squeezed that delicious curve.
Her hands dropped to my shoulders, and she yanked me closer, sinking her teeth into my bottom lip.
I stilled, unwilling to get caught up in something she would probably regret.
“Deacon, please,” she breathed, squirming in my arms.
Fuck, she’s killing me.
“Easy, baby,” I murmured, leaning back to meet her eyes before brushing my mouth over hers once more, dropping gentle kisses on each corner, the tip of her nose, and the outside corners of her eyes.
“Deacon, no,” she cried, digging her fingers into my shoulders. “Not like this!”
“Exactly like this, Jenny,” I rumbled. “It’s going to be exactly like this.”
“It’s too much,” she gasped.
Caressing the length of her back, I coaxed her to relax in my arms, give herself over to me.
She struggled for a moment more, shifting her pelvis against mine before softening against me in submission.
A submission I now knew to treasure.
I deepened the kiss, delving into her mouth, slowly, sweetly, deeply, taking and giving, setting the pace to keep us in the present.
A long shudder wracked her body.
Her hands fisted in my shirt.
And I steeled myself against the taste of the tears running down her face, the hitch in her breath, and the sobs in her throat.
I kissed her until her tears dried.
Until her body melted against mine, and her head fell back into my hands with a deep sigh.
And my name became a whisper on her lips.
Only then did I release her mouth.
She closed her eyes, laid her head on my chest, and wrapped her arms around my waist.
This was everything.
I gritted my teeth against the agony of regret; of leaving her alone when she needed me most.
She was everything.
If I wanted honesty between us, I had to start.
“I never stopped loving you, Jenny.”
I never will.