Chapter 14 #2
Grace took a seat in one of the wingback chairs in front of the fireplace.
Her nerves were on edge as she realized she was about to reveal a scandalous secret about her family.
Now she wasn’t so sure she was doing the right thing.
She stood up and was about to leave when Peter came back with a tea tray.
“Here we are,” he said, putting the tray down on the table between the chairs. He proceeded to pour the tea out and handed her a cup.
“Thank you,” Grace said, taking her seat again.
She was so conflicted. She didn’t know which to address first: Peter’s aloofness of late or her mother’s letters. Both were equally important to her, but sitting here with him made her realize how much she’d missed him over the past fortnight.
“It’s a lovely day today, don’t you agree?” Peter asked. “I must say, the vegetable garden has been thriving under Mr. Randolph’s loving care. He’s a wonder.”
Grace knew he was trying to set her at ease by discussing unimportant things, and she appreciated his approach as she sipped her tea, the hot liquid having a soothing effect on her.
Peter drank his tea without any more conversation. It was his style not to rush or pressure anyone who came to him for counsel, and Grace appreciated that very much today.
The frustration she felt at not seeing Peter of late spilled over, and she asked, “Have I done something to offend you?”
“Offend me? Of course not. Why would you ask that?”
“I’ve felt a distance growing between us over the past fortnight, and I have no idea why. I felt it when I came to visit the children on their first day of school, and after Sunday services, when I tried to talk with you, you seemed aloof.”
“My dear Miss Parker, trust me. You could never offend me.”
“Then why have you been ignoring me? I thought we had an understanding. Was I wrong? Or have you changed your mind about courting me? Please, I must know.” A silent tear rolled down her cheek.
Peter reached forward and wiped it from her face. “Please don’t cry. Let me explain. I have kept my distance because I saw how happy you looked when you were talking with Lord Dudley.”
“Lord Dudley?”
“Yes, it was obvious you were enjoying his company immensely.”
“You must have seen us together when he visited a couple of weeks ago. But when did you arrive? You didn’t announce yourself.”
“I stopped by to ask if I could take you for a drive, but when I saw how enthralled you looked in his company, I left. I thought it best if I retreated from your presence to allow you space to decide on whom you’d rather spend time with.”
“I never saw you.”
“I know. I left before you turned around. I didn’t want to intrude. It wasn’t my place.”
Grace leaned forward and grasped Peter’s hand. “Oh, Peter. You have the wrong impression. I have no romantic inclination toward Lord Dudley at all. I’ve met him a few times at church and once at Dandridge Manor. He’s quite witty and makes me laugh, but that is all.”
“Then… you aren’t developing a tendre for him? But I saw—”
“No tendre at all. Whatever you thought you saw, it wasn’t a romantic interest. Lord Dudley is like an older brother to me, a very funny and witty brother. There’s only one man who owns my heart.”
Peter’s smile lit up the room. “Truly?”
“Yes, most truly. You’re the only man I want to spend time with.”
“That relieves my heart greatly. I’m so very glad to hear that, Miss Parker.”
“Now, none of this ‘Miss Parker’ anymore,” Grace said.
“Of course, Grace. Do you wish me to call on you then? Perhaps we may ride out together again soon?”
“Yes, please do call on me. I would love that. I’ve greatly missed your company.”
“I’ve missed you as well, my dear sweet Grace,” Peter said, bringing her hand to his lips for a kiss. “You’ve made me very happy, and I most sincerely apologize for causing you any upset. It wasn’t my intention.”
“I know. You’re too kind and have too generous a spirit to intentionally ever cause anyone upset.”
“My darling, is it too soon for you to know what you want? Lord Fletcher did mention that you may wish to have a Season. I wouldn’t want to be the reason you don’t go back to London. I understand young women look forward to their first Season.”
Grace placed her finger on his lips. “Shh… I don’t want a Season. I know exactly what I want.
“You do? Are you saying what I hope you are?”
“Yes, my darling. Must I spell it out for you?”
Peter chuckled. “Perhaps not. You make my heart sing with joy. I want to hold you in my arms every night and wake up beside you every morning. I love you, Grace Parker, with every fiber of my being.”
“I love you too, and yes, you should ask Fletcher’s permission to propose, in case you had any lingering doubts about my affections.”
Peter swept her up in his arms and kissed her, pulling her tightly against him. When he finally released her, they were both breathing heavily. “I shall talk with him straight away.”
“Good. However, there’s another reason I came to see you today.”
“Oh? Does it have anything to do with why you were near tears when you arrived?”
She nodded. She reached into her reticule and pulled out the stack of letters. “I found these letters today, and I’m not sure what to make of them.”
“I see. Can you tell me about them?”
“They’re about my mother and someone I might have been recently introduced to.”
“Grace, please be assured that whatever you reveal to me today will be held in the strictest confidence.”
“Thank you. That’s good to know because, frankly, it would be very bad if this became known. Once I read the letters, I knew you were the best person to talk to about them.”
Peter nodded and waited.
Finally, Grace handed him the letters. She watched his face as he read them, but aside from a slight frown, his expression didn’t reveal what he was thinking.
Finally, Peter lowered the letters to his lap and looked up. “I understand now why you’ve come today. These letters must have been quite a shock to you.”
“I cannot believe my mother had a secret lover,” Grace cried. “I feel so ashamed by her behavior. I wanted to tell Audrey, but I didn’t want to upset her needlessly. She was closest to our mother and to learn—”
Peter leaned forward and took her hand in his. The warmth of his strong hand cradling hers was comforting. “Grace, my darling, may I speak frankly?”
“Of course. I always welcome your counsel.”
“Let me begin by saying these letters do not prove anything about your mother having a secret lover. To me, they merely convey that Mary and Hugh had formed an attachment.”
“But she was going to leave Papa. Doesn’t that prove they were lovers?”
Peter shook his head. “Not at all. In the end, your mother held onto her pious nature. While she may have had strong feelings for another man, she didn’t act upon those feelings.
She stayed true to her marriage. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about your mother’s actions.
Clearly, her thoughts were of her family, rather than any personal desires she may have had.
It takes a very strong person to deny their heart, but your mother did that for the good of her marriage and her family. Can you see that?”
“Maybe you’re right. I’m so confused, and I didn’t want to burden my sister with this knowledge. She and Fletcher are so happy together. What would these letters do to her?”
“Perhaps they will reinforce her belief that your mother was a true and loyal wife and did what was best for everyone, regardless of her personal feelings. I believe that you should find a time to let Lady Fletcher read the letters and form her own opinion.”
“What about Mia?”
“I don’t believe telling her is the right thing to do at this time.
Miss Mia might not be mature enough to fully understand the nuances, or fully understand how your mother could have loved someone other than your father, but not acted on that love.
There would have been severe consequences if she had left the family. ”
I agree on that, at least. We would have been ruined.
My sister is nearly six and ten, but not as mature as I’d like to understand how those consequences would impact our lives.
She has been sheltered as much as Audrey was able to when my father was alive.
She still becomes very excitable and impulsive, whether she’s happy or upset.
This information may change her perception of the family, and I wouldn’t want that to happen.
I shall have to think about whether it’s wise even to tell Lady Fletcher. ”
“I have been calling on my parishioners since I arrived, and as a result have become aware that Lord Berkeley, whose property abuts Dandridge Manor, bears the given name of Hugh. Is he the one you met recently?”
“Yes. We paid a call on Lord Berkeley not long ago. When he walked into the drawing room, he thought my sister was my mother. It was sad to see his confusion. Lord Dudley told me his father hasn’t been well of late.”
“I also witnessed the earl’s confusion the last time I called on him. I’m planning to pay him a visit again next week. Would you like me to talk to him about these?”
“No. The poor man’s mind is addled as it is. I wouldn’t want to cause him any more distress.”
“Of course. If you’d like me to be present when you tell Lady Fletcher, I would be happy to be there.”
“Thank you, Peter. I may need your support.”
“You always have it, my darling.”
“May I ask you one more thing?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“I think it would make me feel better if you kissed me again.”
Peter chuckled. “My pleasure,” he said and pulled her into his arms for a most delicious kiss.