Quinn 21.
“Ugh.” I hate alarms. And waking up early. And moving before 9 in the morning. Should have thought of that before I went and had three children. I grab my phone without opening my eyes and tap the bottom of the screen to turn it off. Laying it back on my nightstand, I stretch in the other direction to cuddle up with Polk. Except he isn’t here. Shit. I forgot he had an early start today at the clinic.
It's a little weird and yet natural as breathing to sleep with him almost every night. The mornings when he’s the big spoon are the best. Of course, the mornings when his big… handle slides easily inside my… spoon rest are the best. It’s early and I’m suffering from premature pun-ulation. I can’t believe I just called my twinkle cave a spoon rest! Glad Polk isn’t here to have witnessed this unfortunate moment.
That’s not exactly true, he would have laughed and thrust inside me and my momentary inferior punning would have been worth it. Orgasms fix just about anything.
The last little bit hasn’t been without its drama, spooning and handles notwithstanding. Dr. Orlosky assures me every time I call that my weird and random symptoms are normal. I’ve had muscle twitching throughout my body, a few more episodes of facial paralysis, stomach pain, and headaches. Polk has been a Godsend, always there for me and the boys. He and Joe actually cooked dinner for us all one night when I wasn’t feeling well. I think hearing my boyfriend and my ex-husband laughing together is stranger than when my entire left arm went painfully numb. But it made me a lot happier than numb appendages ever could.
And the boys have quickly adjusted to having Polk around more often. They already idolized him but having him sleep in their mom’s bedroom was a new experience. It lost its novelty quickly and the boys welcomed him into the fold with farts, and constant badgering to bring animals back to our house. Sal and Enzo barred him from entering the other night because he didn’t possess a kitten of any kind, let alone an orange fat cat like they requested he produce out of thin air. He took it all in stride.
Polk is so good with them. It made me pause when he first started staying the night because I can never give him a child of his own. Watching him with the fruit of my loins was a double-edged blade. Because I felt a pang of my own that we would never reproduce. I love my boys with everything I’ve got, but my heart is big enough for more. It was my body that couldn’t handle it.
Damn you, you pitiful flesh sack of calcium!
I blink my eyes open, knowing I need to get moving. The boys need to get up and get ready for school. It’s still dark in my room…it shouldn’t be this dark even at this hour. I rub my knuckles into my eye sockets, sit up, and spin around until my bare feet touch the soft carpeting of my bedroom. I blink again…and again…and again.
I can’t see. OHMYGODICANTSEE! Don’t panic, Quinn. Just relax. I inhale deep and slow, filling my lungs and desperately trying to clear my mind, then exhale just as slowly. I blink again and nothing. Ok, I can handle this.
I blindly fumble for my phone, hoping like hell that I am remembering my screens correctly. I tap a few times, put the phone up to my ear and heave a sigh of relief when it starts ringing.
“Hello, you have reached Spanky’s. We are currently closed.” I pull the phone away and tap the screen to end the call. I’m successful, thank God. I forgot we ordered dinner from there last night. Ok, another deep breath, and I guess where his name is now on my recent call list and hopefully tap the right buttons.
“Quinn? Is everything alright?” He answers immediately and my entire body sags at the sound of his voice.
“ Bently, ” I whisper, my mouth dry.
“Quinn!”
“I can’t…I can’t see.”
I think he was running, but he stops, his voice slightly winded, “What?”
“I woke up and…I can’t see anything. I don’t know…I don’t know what to do. The boys have school and I—”
“Go back to bed, I’ll take care of the boys.”
“What? No, you have surgery this morning.”
“I know, and I love that you know my schedule.” I can practically hear him smirking, it loosens the constriction in my chest that he’s being all sexy and teasing. It must not be as dire as I think it is. Lots of people are blind, they live full lives just fine. I ain’t no different.
“I don’t want to be blind,” I admit out loud, my voice small.
“We’ll figure it out, darlin’. I promise. Go back to sleep. I’m gonna call Marco, and I’ll send Audrey over to get the boys to school.”
“I shouldn’t need—”
“Gonna stop you right there, Quinny. People need people. Don’t make you weak or incompetent or inadequate. Makes you human. And I happen to love just how human you are.”
“Mmhmm,” I hum.
“Between your legs. I was talking about your human vagina. It’s very nice.”
I wipe at the tears coating my cheeks and grin. “Just nice?”
“I’ll show later how much I appreciate nice.”
“I don’t think I can go back to sleep, Bent.”
“Try the meditation and breathing techniques we looked up.”
“Ok. I’m…I’m sorry to bother you—”
He growls before saying my name sternly, “Quinn. You don’t ever apologize for reaching out to me. It’s my honor and privilege.”
“Your mom did a good job raising you.”
“Eh. I learned everything about being a good partner from Morticia and Gomez Addams.” I chuckle, laughing harder when he tacks on, “Raul Julia and Angelica Huston.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t be with you otherwise.”
“Quinny, we’re gonna figure this out. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
“Get some rest, I’ll call later.”
I hang up and set the phone back on my nightstand. I pee in my attached bathroom, then lay back down in bed. The meditation must be more successful than I thought, since the boys wake me up when they come in to say goodbye. Enzo wants to crawl into bed with me, but Sammy manages to convince him to go to school. I’m happy he does, because I’m about to start crying and I don’t want to worry the boys. It breaks my heart to hear their pain.
“Aud?”
“Yeah, sweetie. I’m here.”
“Thank you.”
“You are very welcome. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
“Me too.”
“I’m gonna head out, do you want me to come back after I drop them off?”
I think about it but know that I need to get ready on my own. I don’t know if this is permanent or a temporary symptom like the paralysis. “No, but I appreciate your offer.”
“Alright, girlie. Hey, before I forget, your left tit escaped your tank top, and you’ve probably scarred your boys for life! Byeeeee!”
“Motherfucker!” I cry out, fall back into bed and proceed to cry. Hard, wracking sobs that leave me exhausted and frustrated and stuffy. Once I’m all cried out, I start laughing thinking about Audrey and her parting comment.
I know I’ve said this before, several times. But I’ll be fine. I’m going to figure this all out and I have Bently and Audrey and everyone else to help me out along the way…and keep me humble!
I force myself into the shower. That’s not too bad, it’s brushing my teeth and doing my hair that leaves me cursing and screaming. But I think I manage. Who the fuck knows. I slowly make my way downstairs and into the kitchen. I feel around for a glass and pour some juice, only spilling a little on the counter.
My phone rings in my pocket and I answer the call.
“Quinn, it’s the handsome, charming, love of your life.”
Giggling, I respond, “David Boreanaz? How did you get my number?”
“Fucking hysterical.” He doesn’t sound amused, and I giggle harder. “I’m on my way to your place. I made an eye appointment for you. We have plenty of time, so I’ll help you get ready.”
“I’m already showered…but I can’t attest to the state of my hair.”
“In that case, I’ll fix it after I fuck you.”
“I’m blind, Bently Walker.”
“Exactly. Your pussy still works.” Keeping me humble. And mildly horny.
“Better make it quick.”
He opens the door with gusto not long after I hang up. I stand up from the couch but am quickly lifted off my feet. I yelp, scrambling to hold onto his shoulders, back, or ass as I’m slung over his shoulder. He tosses me on the bed and quickly strips off all my clothing. I’m flipped to my stomach, my legs spread apart, and then long fingers are teasing my clit and opening.
“Already so fucking wet, darlin’.”
“I-I-I’m not sure, but I might like not being able to see, it’s like being blindfolded.”
He smacks my ass, groaning as he kneads the flesh with his hands. “Kinky. Brace yourself.”
There’s no time as he thrusts to the hilt, impaling me on his thick cock. My body jolts from the intrusion, and my hands grip the blanket. He hammers into me and all I can do is hold on. Hand on my shoulder, he pulls my upper body from the bed, his other hand reaching around to cup my tit. He pinches my nipple between his fingers and squeezes in time with his thrusts. Clothed chest to my bare back, his hot breath on my ear, he snarls, “Didn’t like hearing the fear in your voice, baby. Didn’t like not being able to come home right away to take care of you. Won’t happen again. I’m sorry. I should have—”
“Bent, no! You have patients and appointments and you had surgery. And this isn’t a medical emergency—”
“You can’t fucking see! That seems emergent!” He puts space between our bodies, both hands gripping my hips painfully tight. But I don’t stop him, I don’t tell him to let go because I want the pain, I want the reminder that I’m his.
“I know you love me.”
“I am obsessed with you, Quinn. Love isn’t a strong enough word for the feelings that have taken over my rational mind.”
Dropping my cheek to the mattress, silent tears begin to fall even as my lips stretch obnoxiously into a bright smile. “Fuck me harder. Fill me up. I want to carry the reminder of your obsession inside me for the rest of the day.”
“Jesus, fuck!” he roars, ramping up his speed, forging deeper and deeper with each manic roll of his hips. His cock touches places inside me that I didn’t know had nerve endings. I’m so wet, the lewd sounds of my arousal fill the room.
“I love you, Bently.”
“Yeah, you do. I’m your man. I’m the only one who can fuck you like this. Make you this wet. You’re fucking drenching my cock; it’s dripping down my balls. Fuckin’ hell, baby! I’m gonna cum. But I want to feel you gush.” He slips his right hand under my body, his fingers finding my clit quickly. Seconds later, I am in fact gushing, screaming my release to the heavens.
His rhythm stutters, broken moans escaping him as he presses flush against me, practically pushing me into the mattress, as he finds his own release. Bent kisses me softly along my shoulders, neck, and down my back as he stands up and pulls out of my spent body. “You look so fucking sinful, you dirty girl.” He slaps my ass again with a chuckle.
“I’m gonna need your help.” I won’t lie, it is a little painful to admit that, even in this post-coital moment. “I don’t know what my hair looks like.”
“I’ll fix it, darlin’. Come on, I’ll clean you up first.” He leads me to the bathroom and gently wipes me between my legs. He hums a song I don’t recognize as he plays with my hair. Then he kneels in front of me and helps me redress, adjusting my clothes when he’s done. He kisses the tip of my nose, then my forehead, “Beautiful.”
An hour later, Polk is storming out of the eye doctor’s office, pulling me along with him as he mutters expletives under his breath. He helps me into the passenger seat, buckles me in, then gently shuts my door. He holds my hand as he drives us back to my house. In the living room, he sets me up in the corner of the couch, then disappears for a few minutes.
I understand. He’s furious. I am too. I have never been treated so poorly by a physician. An adult professional. Nothing wrong, waste of his time. I’ve been diagnosed with MS, but it’s insulting to the others who suffer from the debilitating disease to fake symptoms for sympathy. If Polk wasn’t so concerned for my well-being, he would have beaten that fucking asshole to a pulp. And under other circumstances, I would have cheered him on.
But this is my life. My new normal. And I need to adjust quickly and plan.
“Here, baby. I made you a sandwich and got you a can of soda. You need to eat.”
“Thank you.” I accept the plate absently, and hear him place the can on the coffee table. He sits next to me, the couch cushion dipping under his weight. I take a few bites of my sandwich, but I barely taste it. My mind spins with everything I need to do.
“We’ll see someone else.” He grits out, but I don’t want to think about that right now.
“Salvatore’s DI competition is coming up. I cannot lead the practices. I’ll need to contact the school to find another coach. Hopefully one of the other parents can step in. Enzo has karate twice a week. I got a message from the school for Marco, he needs volunteer hours to receive his Academic letter. Then Wilson and Tilly’s wedding is only a couple weeks out. I’m a bridesmaid, but I wonder if she’ll be too hurt if I excuse myself from the ceremony.”
“QUINN!” I startle at the rise in his voice. “Jesus. I’ve been saying your name for two minutes.”
“Oh.” I must have been really in my head; I didn’t even hear him.
“Joe and I will completely take over Sal’s DI team. I already know what needs done, so I’m the logical choice to step in. Audrey can take Enzo to practice. And Marco and I already talked about his volunteer hours. He’s going to help me at the clinic. And if you think for one God damned second Tilly is going to let you be anywhere but next to her at the altar, you’re fucking delusional.” He sighs heavily, grabs my hands and leans his forehead against mine. “The brothers will fill in wherever and whenever they can. You’ve lost your sight, Quinn, you aren’t a vegetable. It will take some getting used to but I don’t think that doctor knows anything. We’ll see someone else, get a second opinion, or a third if we have to.”
“I hate this.” I murmur against his soft lips. “My body decides to mutiny, and I have no control over it. I feel so… helpless . Weak .” I spit the words out, hating how they taste in my mouth. This isn’t me, but that appointment…any high I’d been riding from the epic fucking before we left, was quickly eradicated by the doctor’s callousness. “It’s so, ugh, it’s unfair.”
He chuckles, “Life isn’t fair, wear a helmet.” I collapse against him, my laughter turning into tears as I burrow into the safety of his hold. He’s my partner, my protector, my shield, but he can’t shield me from this.
“I’ll be alright. I’m just having a moment.”
“Quinn. You don’t have to be strong and on top of things all the time. At least with me. Be soft. Be vulnerable.” I shiver exaggeratedly in disgust. The sound of his laughter echoes beneath my ear, his chest bouncing with the effort. “I’ve got you.”
“I know. I believe that you do. This is…right now, this feels bigger than us.”