Chapter 13 #2
I met her gaze and took in the pain that she held there. I could see the turmoil that was tearing her apart. And then, I realized that the only way to reach Collette—to really speak to her—was to dance.
“That you’ll dance with me? Without”—I waved to her hoodie—“this.”
She glanced down and stared at her hoodie. Then she glanced up at me. A tear slipped down her cheek as she studied me. “Ethan, I can’t.”
I reached up and wiped it away. Then I smiled at her, hoping I came across as encouraging instead of creepy.
“You can,” I said. Then I turned and made my way over to the stereo. I plugged in my phone and found Fix You by Coldplay.
The beginning chords began to play and I let the notes flow through me. I hesitated and then turned to see Collette standing in the middle of the dance floor. She had her arms still tucked around her body and her head tipped down.
For a moment, I wondered if I’d pushed her too far. That I was going to lose her if I didn’t backpedal right now.
But then, slowly, she began to open her arms. She pulled at the sides of the hoodie and allowed it to slip to the floor. Her eyes remained closed and I could see her entire body tense as she stood there.
Not wanting her to feel vulnerable and scared, I made my way over to her. When I neared, I reached out and ran my hand down her arm, just so she knew I was there. I felt her tighten and goosebumps appeared on her skin.
But she didn’t move. She didn’t leave.
I situated myself behind her and hesitated, listening to the beat of the music like Collette taught me. Then, forcing confidence to the surface, I raised her hand and brought it to my neck. Collette moved with the motion of her arm, tipping her face in my direction.
Then slowly and tenderly, I began to run my fingers down the inner part of her arm then to her ribs. Warmth exploded through my body as I rested my hand just above her waist, waiting for her to grab it.
I felt her tense as my fingers lingered and for a moment, I feared I’d gone too far. But then her fingers found mine and I pulled her so that she spun out and then back in. Her hands sprawled out across my chest and I wondered if she could feel my pounding heart.
Our breathing was heavy as she held her stance. She was raised up on her toes as she waited for my move. I glanced down to see her looking at me. I could feel the fear flickering in her eyes.
But I wasn’t going to back down. I wanted Collette. In more ways than one. And I was going to show her.
So I slid my hand from her back, to her waist and I lingered there. Then I bounced down on my knees and she took that as my signal. She held onto my shoulders as I lifted her up. Her legs were taut as I swept her from one side of my body to the other side.
Then I braced myself as I dipped down and Collette flung her legs up. That brought our faces inches from each other. I held her gaze. I held this position. I wanted her to see that she was beautiful. That to me, she was everything.
And to my surprise, she didn’t break the connection that was zipping between the two of us. Her eyes were wide and I could tell she was searching for my disgust or fear, but she was never going to find it. Instead, I hoped all she saw was admiration for everything about her.
I slowly lowered her to the ground and we fell into a rhythm. With every beat, every movement, I could feel her loosen. That the wall that she’d built up around her was crumbling and it gave me the confidence to truly touch her.
When I dragged my hand around her middle as she spun around me, she didn’t shy away. Or when I followed behind her, helping to reach greater heights with each leap, she stayed strong. I could feel her confidence build.
And when I waited at the other end of the studio for her to run and leap, I could see her genuine smile as she met my gaze. This was the Collette I’d fallen in love with. She was magnificent.
“Ready?” she mouthed in a teasing way.
I flexed my muscles in an exaggerated manner and then winked as I nodded and I bent down, holding my arms out. I would always be ready to catch her.
She nodded and then slowly began to spin. Her leg flung out and then back in like a spinning top my grandpa had given me when I was a kid.
Then, just as I lost myself in her movements, she stopped and rushed across the studio and straight into my arms.
I didn’t hesitate as I wrapped my hands around her middle and lifted her into the air. Her arms were spread out and from where I was standing, I could see the sheer joy on her face.
The song ended and I slowly lowered her to the ground. I held her close as I stared down at her. My hands lingered on her waist and she didn’t move to break the contact.
Instead, she rested her hands on my chest. She was staring at them, our breaths matching cadence.
“Ethan,” she whispered.
“Yeah?”
She tipped her head back so she could meet my gaze. She chewed her lip as she stared at me. Then her gaze slipped down to my lips and I knew what she wanted. It was exactly what I hadn’t been able to get out of my mind since Friday night.
Kissing Collette had meant more to me than I’d allowed myself to admit. And now that I knew she wanted it too, I wasn’t going to hold back.
I dipped down to brush my lips against hers. But before they met, a voice snapped us apart.
“What is going on here?”
Collette sprang away from me like I’d electrocuted her. We both spun around to face the doorway where Bianca was scowling at us in confusion. “Seriously,” she said with a shake of her head. “What on earth is going on here?”
“Uh…” Collette looked like she was scrambling to form words, her eyes still wide with shock.
“We’re rehearsing,” I said. I hoped my tone conveyed ‘end of story, now leave us alone.’ If it did, Bianca didn’t get the hint.
“Rehearsing?” Her brow was furrowed in confusion as she looked from me to Collette and then back again. Her eyes took me in from head to toe and her confusion morphed into amusement.
“Wait a second, don’t tell me you’re going to audition for Juilliard’s dance department?”
She was talking to me, but Collette misunderstood and started to answer. “No, of course not,” she said.
But Bianca ignored her, all of her focus on me. “Ms. Boucher said you wanted an audition slot for music, not dance.”
Oh no.
I felt Collette’s stare on the side of my face as Bianca’s words registered.
Oh crap.
Collette turned to face me. I could see her reflection in the mirror but I couldn’t quite bring myself to look at her. “What is she talking about?” Collette’s voice was barely a whisper. I hated how she sounded so betrayed.
Crap, crap, crap! This was so not how she was supposed to find out. I had a plan. It involved a speech—a good one. One that explained in detail how I’d gotten her an audition slot and would be by her side the whole time.
I would tell her how talented she was, and how I believed in her, and—
“He didn’t tell you?” Bianca asked Collette. “Ethan here begged your mom for a slot, and of course she said yes to the mayor’s son.”
She rolled her eyes as she said it, but I was too busy trying to think of a way to explain.
“Ethan?” Collette said. “What is she talking about?”
I turned to face her. “I can explain.”
Her cheeks were turning pink, a sure sign she was getting angry. “Explain what, exactly?”
“Uh…” I darted a look over to Bianca. A silent appeal for some privacy.
She leaned against the door frame with a little smile like this was the best entertainment she’d seen all day. “So wait, Collette doesn’t know that you’re asking for favors from her mom? That you’re touting your leverage as the Mayor’s son to get ahead?”
I looked back to Collette, hating the fact that her happiness was gone now, replaced by suspicion and anger and…fear. That fear was back. “Is this some kind of joke?”
“What? No!” I took a step toward her but stopped when she backed away. “I got that audition slot for you. I wasn’t going to get into Juilliard over you. It was never about me.”
Bianca laughed and I hated her for it.
Collette’s blush deepened. “Don’t you see why this was all about you? You never asked me. You just acted.” Her arms wrapped around her stomach as she turned away from me. She was slipping from my grasp and I was desperate to hold onto her.
“But you deserve to be seen,” I said. “Your talent deserves to be seen.”
Collette was blinking rapidly, her breath was coming out in shallow gasps that had me worried. “But that’s just it. It’s my decision. Not yours.”
“I know, but I thought…” Oh crap, all of my reasoning flew out the window. My epic grand plan was looking more and more like an epic fail. “I wanted to be by your side,” I said. “I thought we could both perform. Together.”
By the confused way Collette was staring at me, one would think I’d just starting babbling in Chinese.
“But don’t you realize why this is even more insulting?
My own mother was more willing to say yes to a guitarist instead of a dancer.
It wasn’t my merit that got me an audition. It was you and your…connections.”
I hated the way she spoke about me and my family. Even though there was truth to it, the way she framed it made me feel slimy. Dirty. Like I was no better than my own father. “That wasn’t my intention. I just knew you wouldn’t stand up for yourself so I—”
“Go.” Her voice was cold and harsh. I barely recognized it, but the one word seemed to ricochet off the walls and reverberate in the air around us.
No one spoke, no one moved. Not even Bianca.
“Collette, please,” I started.
Collette turned away. “Just go away, Ethan. I don’t want to see you right now.”
I stared at her, my mouth still open as I tried to come up with something to say to make this right.
Nothing. I couldn’t think of anything.
Her shoulders were hunched as she picked up her discarded hoodie, her back still to me.
“I’ll call you,” I said.
She never responded, not even as I walked out the door.