Chapter 28
JESSICA
I just dropped Lily off at her hotel after a successful day of shopping for her dream dress. We ended up choosing a tight, light blue satin gown with off-shoulder details. It fit her and her blonde looks perfectly, and I can’t wait to see her shine on Saturday.
She will make Sebastian and every other guy in that room do a double take.
When I get back to Luke’s hotel room, I can tell something is wrong right away.
He doesn’t stand up to greet me at the door like he usually does. He’s looking down at his hands, lost in thought.
I sit down next to him and gently rub his shoulder.
“Hi baby, is everything alright?” I ask, and he looks at me with a pained expression, instantly making me worried.
My nerves start to rise, and he looks away from my face, out into the room, away from me.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” He simply says, and my heart breaks in my chest.
I feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes, my throat tightening as I try to find my voice.
“What?” I whisper, feeling my hands shake in my lap.
“I’m sorry, but I just don’t see a future for us, and it’s better to rip off the band-aid before it gets too deep,” he says, and I can’t believe what he just told me.
Too deep?
No future for us?
I’ve already fallen head over heels in love with the man who’s breaking my heart.
I shake my head at him, contemplating what’s happened from this morning to now.
Where has this come from?
We’ve been so good together, and then suddenly he decides that he’s done.
“I don’t know what happened to the Luke I know, but he sure as hell isn’t sitting here right now. He would never be such a coward and wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when he’s breaking up with me.” His eyes turn to me, and his pained expression matches my own.
He has no right to be hurt; he’s the one breaking up with me, for Christ’s sake. His eyes drop to the floor again, and he simply says,
“I’m sorry.” I rise from the couch, looking down at him.
“Yeah, me too.” Before I storm off, tears falling down my cheeks.
◆◆◆
They call it heartbreak, but it feels like my whole body is torn apart.
Everything hurts, and I feel so physically sick that I’ve wondered if I have a cold.
But no, the only thing wrong with me is the hole in my chest.
At first come the tears. I cry for the first twenty-four hours, grateful we are on the road, and no one is really acknowledging me. I stay in my room on the bus, avoiding everyone, knowing that if anyone saw me in this state, they would start asking questions.
We’ve been traveling to Sydney, where the gala will take place.
At hour twenty-five, I decide no more tears and enter a state of numbness where I feel everything and nothing all at once.
Whenever someone calls my phone, whether it’s my parents, Sarah, or even Lily, a small glimmer of hope arises, thinking it might be Luke.
But no, he’s been radio silent ever since he broke my heart on Monday.
Just like that, I was out of his life.
After forty-eight hours, I decide to turn my misery into action by drowning myself in work. This is leading to too many drafts, with his name and performances haunting me at every turn.
He’s everywhere.
Dating the championship leader will do that to a reporter.
After seventy-two hours, my doubts are slowly creeping back in, and I wonder if I made the right choice when taking the gamble on Luke.
Maybe I should have trusted my gut from the start, telling myself that this wasn’t a good idea.
As soon as the thought enters my mind, I shut it out.
No. I will never regret being with Luke, no matter how hard it hurts now.
I went into this F1 adventure, promising myself to stop hiding and take the chances as they arose. He was there, supporting me every step of the way and helping me grow, and for that, I will forever be grateful to him.
I’ve become stronger, less scared of what everyone else thinks of me and what I do.
It’s a shame that Luke Hastings doesn’t want me anymore. As my hurt continues through every emotional state I’ve ever felt, my hurt turns to anger.
At hour ninety-six, I’m furious as I get ready for the gala.
Furious that Luke could toss me aside so easily, without a word or an explanation.
Furious at myself for being so reckless and giving my heart to a man who clearly didn’t want it.
And angry that whenever I look around, he’s always there, taunting me. At work, in the paddock, and even on the posters around town promoting the race weekend.
Even my dreams are haunted by him. I can’t escape him anywhere, and it’s exhausting.
I finish getting ready, feeling beautiful after days in cozy clothes and no makeup. I meet up with the rest of the Star News team who are attending the Gala. It’s me, Molly, Steve, Andrew, and Anne.
It feels good to go with the team, knowing I have someone to lean on this evening. I’m sure as hell going to need it.