Chapter Twenty-Seven #2
“Almost,” Victoria agreed; “but not quite.”
Victoria could tell Rafe’s patience had just about worn through. His steps were quicker; his breathing was more agitated. Truth be told, Victoria’s own anxiety was teetering on the edge of unbearable, but she knew they needed to remain optimistic.
“Why would he have left—what would have possessed him to do such a thing?” Rafe demanded, more to the air than to her.
She had spent a great deal of their walk pondering the same thing. “I did say goodbye to him before I found you in the foyer,” she admitted. “But I was careful not to tell him how long I planned to be gone.”
“Forever?” her husband asked sardonically.
“Truly? Yes. That is what I planned.”
Rafe rubbed a spot in the center of his chest as if she’d stabbed him with a stiletto right there.
“You broke my heart, Rafe. When I heard what you said…when I thought I’d been made a fool for admitting to my feelings—” The words broke along with her voice.
She didn’t wish to picture the scene again.
“I believed you were speaking the truth of your feelings, and that you viewed me as nothing more than an idealistic girl.”
“I apologize for that. It was a vile thing to say.”
“You told me once that you did not believe in love. You said those words yourself; you cannot deny that you did.”
“I was the one who was a fool, Victoria. Not you. Never you. I may not have said them aloud, but I have been falling in love with you more each day. I want nothing more than to be around you. Have these past several weeks meant as much to you as they did to me?”
“They meant everything to me, Rafe!”
“I understand now. I understand it all. The thought of you being too far away for me to see, to touch, to speak with, to listen to…that kills me.”
“And now you have decided you are capable of love.”
“Yes, dammit!”
Victoria was silent for several moments before she said, “It is also clear to me that you love Dominic and the girls a great deal…but have you said as much to them?”
It was as if she’d struck him with a stone; her husband stopped in the middle of the road and pondered what she’d said.
“No,” he answered, somewhat incredulously.
“I do not believe I ever have.” He swore and huffed a little derisive laugh.
“Despite all my efforts, I did still end up turning into my father—unable to express an emotion that comes so easily to so many.”
Victoria shook her head. “It is not an easy emotion, nor is it a simple one. And it is impossible for you to have become your father—not with how much genuine affection you show to the children. You need only improve how you voice it.”
He stepped closer to her just as the first few drops of drizzle began to fall, coating his long, kohl-colored eyelashes and dusting his hair. “I am trying.”
“I know,” she whispered.
And she did.
Victoria knew Rafe was doing his best. He’d always been a good man, but that man had stepped aside for so long to allow the selfish rake to take charge. This was an adjustment. A discovery. And he was beginning by professing his love for her.
Like a bolt of lightning, she was struck by the sudden certainty that she did not want to leave him.
She believed his explanation about why he said what he had.
She believed in his love. For the one incident that had hurt her, there were several hundred other ways he’d proven himself.
Wasn’t love about trust? That was what her father had always told her and Luke.
If now was not the time to place trust in this man who had proven to her a unique level of devotion and determination, then that time would never come.
But they needed to find Dominic first.
“Come along,” she murmured and they walked once more in unison, each of them taking turns calling out Dominic’s name.
The drizzle became more persistent, further dampening her husband’s spirits. His every step was agitated. Though his voice was beginning to grow hoarse from shouting, he refused to give up.
Finally, they came beneath the cover of an enormous oak sprouting between the stones of the ancient stone wall.
Weathered rocks had been displaced and tumbled to the earth, while the tree had grown undeterred by the difficulties.
The drizzle turned into rain, pattering through the canopy of leaves above their head and quickly soaking Rafe’s shirt to transparency.
Fists clenched, Rafe growled, “Fuck!” to no one in particular.
Victoria did not flinch and, in fact, could sympathize with the sentiment.
Rafe’s outburst seemed to deflate him some and, cradling his head in his hands, he leaned back against the low wall.
“What if the rain worsens? What if we still haven’t found him by nightfall? ”
Both of those prospects were unnerving—the chances of Dominic being injured or falling ill were growing.
“I feel like I have failed him,” Rafe croaked and lifted his head. He was so lost it made Victoria’s heart ache. “I have failed Alice. All I had to do was keep her children safe.”
Victoria opened her mouth to reassure him once again, but a bit of movement behind Rafe’s shoulder caught her attention.
A gnarled tree stood in the center of the field. Its base was littered with stones too large and inconvenient to remove for tilling, so it had been left to exist alone. The tree, however, was not what had caught her eye.
What looked to be a lumpy pile of dark clothing sat atop one of the rocks against the tree’s trunk. From that distance, it was impossible to tell for certain what it was, but her heart already suspected.
When the pile shifted positions, her heart knew.
“Rafe,” she squeaked after two tries to make the word come out.
“This is my fault,” Rafe continued to fret, not hearing her.
Victoria tried several times to make him take notice, but nothing worked until she finally grasped his cheeks in her hands and turned his head to make him stop speaking and look out into the field.
“There.” Victoria pointed.
His eyes squinted and then widened. “Could it be?” he rasped. “Dominic?” he called and then repeated himself more loudly.
The pile sprouted a dark head.
Without another moment of hesitation, Rafe vaulted over the stone wall. His heart was in his throat as he sprinted up the gentle grassy slope leading to the tree Victoria had pointed out, bellowing his nephew’s name all the while.
“Dom! Dominic!”
Rafe’s boots slipped and skidded along the earth.
The skies had opened up, and the ground was running with rivulets of rainwater, but he would not be deterred.
He slid on his knees the last few feet and scooped his nephew into his arms and held him so tightly he was probably crushing him.
He didn’t care. Never in Rafe’s life had he been so relieved—not since Faith’s health had improved from the brink of disaster.
“How could you run away?” he demanded. “Why did you run away? What were you thinking?” The words were a mixture of admonishment and blinding relief.
“Tell me now what possessed you to do such a thing,” he ordered and held Dominic at arm’s length.
His eyes scanned him from head to toe. Other than being wet, chilled, and suffering from a snotty nose—which Dominic wiped on his sleeve—he seemed unharmed.
“I—I didn’t want Victoria to leave,” Dominic responded in between sobs and hiccups. “Why does everyone have to leave?” he wailed.
Rafe did his best to console the lad, brushing his sodden locks from his face and patiently waiting for him to continue.
“I wanted to leave before you left, too,” Dominic finally said to him, looking him in the eye.
Rafe was struck dumb.
There was a loud sniff beside them, and Rafe realized Victoria, too, had ascended the hill. He felt guilty about not helping her over the wall and waiting for her, but he knew she understood his need to see for himself that Dominic had been alright.
Rafe kept his eyes on his nephew and said, “I will never leave you. I swear it. You and your sisters are some of the most important things in the world to me. Most days, you make me want to throttle you, but I love you like my own, and I would not have it any other way. You are stuck with me.”
At that, all the fight seemed to leave Dominic.
The boy collapsed against him and sank into a fresh bout of tears.
He buried his face in Rafe’s shoulder, hugging him as tightly as his child’s arms could.
They stayed like that for several minutes, just existing, until Dominic lifted his head and held out a hand to Victoria.
“Are you still going to leave us?” the boy asked in a small voice.
Rafe looked up to see tears streaming down her face, mixing with the tracks of rain cascading down her head and deepening the color of her sodden gown. He found he was anticipating her response as much as Dominic was. The seconds before her response were nearly unbearable.
Finally, she shook her head.
“How can I leave the family I love?”
Rafe shot to his feet, carrying Dominic with him, and pulled Victoria into an embrace, pressing his lips to the top of her head. He was shaking with relief, joy, love, and the overwhelming sensation of finally having everything he’d never dared to dream of, and so much more.
The rain came harder, the heavens splitting open wide. Rafe tilted his head back and closed his eyes, laughing just as he imagined Alice was doing at that moment.
For the first time in a long while, Rafe looked forward to what his life had in store.