Chapter 10
On Saturday morning, Cody slipped out of the house before dawn and headed for the barn.
Yet again, he’d woken with Ella in his arms, a common occurrence since they’d bonded over his mother’s poetry.
The first time it happened, he panicked.
He’d felt happy and warm, surrounded by a cloud of lavender, when he realized something wasn’t right.
When his eyes opened and he found his wife nestled against him, cradled in his arms, he’d almost leapt out of the bed.
His body jerked and woke Ella. To his surprise, she hadn’t seemed bothered by his embrace.
Things between him and his wife alternated between comfortable and stilted in the days that followed.
Despite that, she was clearly growing more at ease in his home, taking to her role of mother as if she’d been born to be one.
Isaiah gave her a hard time, but Addie and Jonah took to her as naturally as she did to them.
His own feelings were clear as mud. Cody wanted to keep his distance, to keep his heart locked away where it couldn’t get hurt.
But his protective instincts proved stronger than his fear.
He couldn’t bear the anxiety on Ella’s face when she thought she’d made some perceived mistake.
Whatever her former fiancé had done to her, it left deep marks.
With a grunt, Cody grabbed a pitchfork. Maybe some manual labor would ease the confusion in his chest. He mucked the stalls with more vigor than usual. By the time the sun climbed toward the horizon, sweat covered his body and he’d long since shucked his jacket.
The two milk cows clamored for his attention. Cody paused to catch his breath before placing the pitchfork against a wall. “Sorry, gals. I lost track of time.”
“Can I help?”
An involuntary yelp escaped him as he whirled around to face the owner of the unexpected voice. Ella stood a few feet away, wrapped in a thick shawl. She wore an apologetic expression. Cody inhaled long and slow to calm the rapid beating of his heart. “Mornin’.”
“Good morning. You’re up earlier than usual.”
How could he tell her it was both thrilling and disconcerting to wake up with her in his arms every day?
Cody couldn’t figure out how that happened.
He went to sleep with his back to her in an attempt to prevent that outcome, but when morning came, she lay nestled against him and his traitorous arms held her close.
At least she didn’t usually wake before him.
Now she stood, head tilted and green eyes trained on him. He searched his mind to remember her comment. “I guess I didn’t sleep well.”
Ella fiddled with the fringes of her shawl. “Is that my fault?” Before he could deny it, she hurried on. “You’re not used to sharing a bed. That must feel strange.”
It did. He’d never shared sleeping space with anyone before getting married. “A little. I’d wager it’s the same for you.”
She nodded. A soft expression flitted over her face. “I find I don’t mind it like I thought I would.”
Her words knit together a wound deep inside, one he hadn’t realized stood in need of healing. “That so?”
“I mean…well…I feel…” She cleared her throat and spoke in a rush. “I feel safe with you.”
With his prickly nature? “We’ve known each other for two weeks.”
Pink dotted her cheeks. “It doesn't make sense to me either.” She looked at the ground. “Travis’s assurance of your character seems to have worked its magic.”
That said more about her trust in Travis than her feelings for him, but Cody appreciated the sentiment. “I’m glad you’re not afraid of me.”
Her lips quirked. “Not usually, anyway.”
“I’ll take it.”
One of the cows released a loud grunt. Ella jumped.
Cody hid a smile, reaching for a pail near the wall. “Were you serious about wanting to help?”
“Yes.”
“All right. Let’s teach you how to milk the cows.”
Ella eyed the animals as she moved closer to him. “They’re so big.”
Cody smothered a smile. Big? Wait ’til she saw the cattle on the range. “They’re Jerseys, one of the smallest breeds of milk cow.” He pointed to the one in the first stall. “That’s Sadie. The other is Becky.”
“Hmm.” Ella turned her gaze on him. “Those are very feminine names.”
“I can’t take credit. Cassie named them.”
“That I can believe.”
Cody opened Sadie’s stall and nudged a stool near her as he reached for a pail. “Have a seat.”
Ella positioned herself on the stool. Her eyes never left Sadie’s. “Nice cow.”
Sadie grunted and swished her tail, flicking Ella in the face. His wife squealed. She tottered backward, nearly falling off the stool.
Cody caught her. “Easy. Sadie’s harmless.”
“Harmless?” Ella rubbed her cheek. “Since when do cows have such strong tails?”
Cody bit his lip hard. Even so, he coughed to cover a chuckle, then eased Ella back onto her seat. “Maybe she wants to test your mettle, darlin’.”
She glanced up at him over her shoulder. Her green eyes bore into his. “Is that a term people use out here?”
He floundered for words. The endearment slipped out so naturally, he didn’t even think about it.
“Uh…no.” Would his reason placate her or make her run?
He swallowed. “It’s what my pa called Ma.
I guess since you’re my wife, it felt like the right thing to say.
” He tugged at his collar. “If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t use it. ”
Ella held his gaze. “I don’t mind. Especially if it has happy memories connected with your parents.”
Warmth shot through his gut, which rendered breathing difficult. Cody dropped his eyes, wondering at his reaction as well as his unconscious choice to call Ella darlin’. The fact that she remained open to it surprised him—but he couldn’t help being pleased.
His gaze fell to her hands. The right one still bore bandages from her burn. “How’s your hand?”
“It’s better, though it feels a bit tender. At least I can touch things without any sting.”
“Good.” He motioned to Sadie. “Squeezing the teats might aggravate it. If that happens, we can try this another time.”
Ella flexed her fingers. “I should be fine.”
“All right.” He squatted beside her. “Now, the trick to milking is to pull the teats with the right pressure. Too light won’t produce any milk, and too hard will make the cow angry.”
“Angry?” Ella’s voice pitched high.
Cody smiled and patted her arm. “It’ll be fine. Watch me.” He took hold of two teats and began to milk. The stream of white liquid pinged as it landed in the pail. After a minute, he paused. “Your turn.”
With a look of intense concentration, Ella reached forward and took the same two teats in hand. She squeezed. Nothing happened. Dismay flashed over her face as she looked up at him. “It didn’t work.”
“You have to put your thumb and index finger at the top of the teat, against the udder. The rest of your fingers go below them.” He positioned her hands.
“Squeeze the top of the teat with your index finger. Use your other fingers to squeeze from top to bottom, and make sure you use a slight downward pull.”
She gave it another attempt. Still nothing. Her teeth sank into her lower lip as she tried a third time, drawing Cody’s gaze. He forced his eyes back to the cow even as a foreign desire tripped through him, a desire to take her in his arms and…
Nope. He blocked the mental image. Being attracted to his wife was not a part of their arrangement. The last thing he needed was to daydream about kissing her. Never mind the fact that her lips looked soft and welcoming. Sharing a kiss with her would be no hardship. He’d probably enjoy it.
A growl sounded low in his throat. Get a hold of yourself, Brooks!
Ella flinched, dropping her hands from Sadie. “I’m making more work for you. I should head back to the house.”
Cody’s arms shot forward without his permission, locking her in place. “That wasn’t aimed at you.”
She stilled in his arms. Her brow furrowed. “You sounded frustrated, and there’s no one here but me.”
Angry at himself for frightening her, Cody inhaled deeply before responding. “It’s nothing you did. Something came to mind that felt…unwelcome. I’m sorry.”
Ella looked down. “You don’t have to apologize.”
Yet again, anger at the men in her past rose inside of him. A man’s strength lay in protecting the women in his life, not using it to terrorize. Pushing down the reaction so as not to frighten her again, Cody gentled his voice. “Want to try again with Sadie?”
Ella kept her hands in her lap. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
“Nothing. It just takes some practice.” When she still didn’t move, Cody squatted behind her and put his hands over hers.
Ella gasped, encircled in his arms. “What are you doing?”
“Helping.” He guided their hands to Sadie’s teats. “Take hold.”
When she complied, Cody wrapped his hands around hers. “Now, let’s take this slowly, okay? One squirt at a time.” He increased the pressure of his hands, helping Ella to squeeze and tug correctly. Milk began to stream into the pail.
She let out a delighted giggle. “It’s working.”
The scent of lavender assailed his senses.
Cody leaned closer, his nose almost buried in Ella’s silky hair.
He closed his eyes and breathed her in. He hadn’t been allured by a woman in so long, he’d forgotten what it felt like to be swept up in a moment.
For a few blissful seconds, he let himself get washed away like a wave leaving the shore.
“Cody?”
Too late, he realized their hands had stilled.
When he met her eyes, they were only inches apart.
Ella’s were wide, her breath escaping in shallow gasps through parted lips.
The desire to kiss her returned. The slightest of movements would make that a reality.
Would Ella welcome his advances, or would he shatter the trust that had been building between them?
Deep down, he knew the answer. With every ounce of self-control he possessed, Cody lurched backward, rising to his feet. “I think you’ve got it. Give it a go on your own.”