Chapter 12 #2
Cassie removed her coat and hung it on a hook. “No. I have a couple ladies who work with me, and one of them took over when I said I wanted to come see you. I hope I’m not intruding.”
“Not at all. Would you like some tea?”
“Yes, please.”
Ella led the way to the kitchen. “Your timing is perfect. The kids got sleepy after lunch and are napping. We’ll be able to have a conversation without interruption. At least until they wake up.”
“I hear you’ve had a bit of a breakthrough with Jonah.”
“We have. He’s calling me Mama now. It’s the only word he’s said so far, but…” Her throat worked with raw emotion.
Cassie put a hand on her arm. “But you feel more like a mother now that he’s given you the title?”
Ella nodded through her tears. “I’d been wondering what I could offer these children, hurting as they are.
Jonah’s acceptance of having me as a mother was more than I could have hoped for.
Even Isaiah is resigned to my presence here, though he’s struggling with the reason for it.
” She paused with a hand on the kettle. “He’s broken, understandably so.
His road to healing will be a long one. I just hope I’m patient enough to help him through it. ”
“You will be. There has been so much improvement already in the children. They are hurting and they will struggle, but that’s life.
You and Cody are hurting, too, for different reasons.
Family is a place where those hurts and struggles can be shared and eased in a healthy way, through love and grace. ”
Though a pang of sadness pierced her heart, Ella smiled. “I hope you’re right. In my experience, family is a source of hurt.”
Cassie waited until Ella put the kettle on the stove, then wrapped her in a hug.
Ella sighed, leaning against her friend for a few moments. When they pulled back, she wiped at a tear. “You and your brother didn’t have an easy time of it either.”
“No. But we knew our parents loved us. That makes a difference.” Cassie took one of Ella’s hands, giving it a squeeze.
“Which is why Isaiah, Jonah, and Addie are blessed to have you. My brother wasn’t sure what to do with the kids on his own.
He was all thumbs when it came to their care.
Since you’ve come along, he’s more at ease with them.
It’s as if the pressure of being a single parent paralyzed him.
Now that you’re here, he’s risen to the challenge because he knows he’s not alone anymore.
” She wiped a tear of her own. “Thank you for being here for him. He needed you as much as you needed him.”
A flush heated her cheeks. “I don’t know if I’d go that far. Cody would have worked with another woman if necessary for the sake of the children.”
“Oh, I’m sure he would have. But I don’t think it’d have yielded the same result. You’re good for each other.” A twinkle filled Cassie’s eyes. She leaned forward and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I’m calling it now. You two will be in love by summer’s end.”
Love? Heat zinged through her stomach, making it lurch. Ella sputtered. “Th-that’s a bit of a leap. Cody and I are just finding our way to friendship. Love is a whole different feeling.”
Cassie snorted. “Not really. In an ideal world, you would be married to your best friend. If you and my brother are getting to friendship already, especially considering your rocky start, the chances of you finding love are excellent.” She tilted her head. “Don’t tell me you never dreamed of love.”
“Of course I did.” The kettle whistled. Ella busied herself preparing the tea. “What girl doesn’t hope for love?”
That hope had been smashed by life.
Cassie leaned against the counter. “And now that you’re a woman?”
Ella poured steaming water into mugs. “By default, if I fall in love, it must be with my husband. I don’t know if I hope for that. It feels…” She struggled to find the right word. “Strange.” Her eyes widened, and she turned to Cassie. “What I meant was…”
Laughter danced in Cassie’s eyes. “You don’t have to explain. I understand. You do still hope for love, but you’re married to Cody and have no other option for finding it. Thinking about falling in love with someone you haven’t known long but are permanently connected to seems strange.”
Ella let out a breath. “Precisely.” She carried the mugs to the table and motioned for Cassie to sit. “Your brother is a good man. You were right—he’s all soft under that gruff facade. I like him.”
Cassie took up her mug. Her blue eyes, so like Cody’s, considered Ella with grave intensity. “But you’re afraid to be vulnerable enough with a man to lose your heart?”
Tears pricked her eyes. She stared down at the table. “Yes.”
“I could tell you it’ll all turn out all right, but none of us knows the future.
” Cassie reached out, covering Ella’s left hand.
“You don’t have to force anything, Ella.
Sometimes the best things in life happen naturally.
” She leaned back again, peering at Ella over the rim of her mug.
“But please, don’t close yourself off if you start falling.
Don’t shut Cody out because you’re afraid.
He deserves happiness too. I want that for you both. ”
Throat working, Ella nodded. “I’ll try.”
“Good. Now, I have some news to share with you.” A wide grin filled Cassie’s face.
The abrupt change in subject threw her, but Ella recovered, setting her cup down. “What’s that?”
Cassie glowed as she rested a hand on her stomach. “Well—I had a visit with Doc today. Want to guess what he told me?”
Ella gasped, hands flying to her mouth. “Are you having a baby?”
“Yes!” Her friend squealed, eyes lit up with excitement. “Isn’t that wonderful?”
“Amazing. How did Travis react?”
“He’s over the moon. I think he’s about to go into overprotective mode.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “He actually said I should take the buggy to see you rather than riding my horse. Silly man.” Her tone belied her words, warmth visible in her eyes. “Travis will be a great father.”
“I can’t wait to see that. What about Cody? Did you tell him?”
“Not yet.” Cassie grinned. “I want to surprise him when he gets home this evening, if that’s all right with you.”
“Of course. Would you like to stay for supper?”
“Thank you—that sounds great.”
Ella clasped Cassie’s hand, giving it a light squeeze before letting go. “I’m happy for you. You must be so excited.”
“I can’t wait to meet this little one.” Cassie lifted the cup to her lips, shooting Ella an innocent look. “When can I expect a niece or nephew?”
Choking on a sip of tea, Ella slapped a napkin to her mouth. “Cassie!”
“What?” Her friend looked like a perfect little imp, head tilted and eyes batting. “It’s a legitimate question.”
Never had Ella been asked something so forward. Her cheeks burned, and she scrambled for something to say. “That’s not something Cody and I have talked about.”
“Whyever not?”
Oh gracious, she wasn’t going to get out of this. Ella cleared her throat. “Our marriage is different. This entire arrangement was one of necessity.”
Cassie’s eyes widened. “Is this a marriage of convenience? You don’t plan on ever having kids?”
Ella shifted in her seat. “We never specified that.”
“So there’s a chance I’ll get to see those nieces and nephews? You two would have such cute children.”
How much more could her cheeks possibly heat? Ella picked up a napkin and fanned her face.
Cassie put a hand over her mouth, a little laugh escaping. “Oh dear. I’ve embarrassed you. I’m sorry. Sometimes I just say whatever comes to mind, and because I’m pregnant, I have babies on my brain.”
Shaking her head, Ella managed a smile. “I know you mean well. To be honest, this is something Cody and I should have talked about before we got married. The only thing we agreed on was that we couldn’t promise the other love.
” She lifted one shoulder. “Going into this marriage, I just assumed that it would be one of practicality. I didn’t consider the idea of having children with him. ”
Cassie rested her arms on the table. “Did you want them before you married my brother?”
“I did. One of my dreams was to have a big family.” She swallowed down the pain that arose at the thought of never nurturing a little life within. “Now I have three. That might have to be enough.”
“Ella, you need to talk to Cody.”
Heat rushed through her entire body. Just the thought of having such a conversation mortified her. “No. I can’t bring that up.”
Cassie grasped her hand, looking Ella straight in the eyes. “You can. Communication is essential to a healthy marriage, no matter how it came about. This is a topic that needs approaching. Especially if you always dreamed of having children.”
The thought terrified her, but Cassie had a point. Ella gulped in a breath. “Awkward conversations are not my strong point.”
Gifting her a gentle smile, Cassie released her hand. “You’re stronger than you think, Ella. You can do this. The hardest part is starting the conversation.”
Certain she was the color of a tomato, Ella drained the rest of her tea. “I’ll think about it.”