Chapter 17
Willow
First date
Sing on stage
I scanned the crowded bar as I followed Hollis and Blaine and a few of their friends to a table.
I walked cautiously in the heels I wasn’t used to wearing—taking in the world from a couple inches higher than my normal height.
The night hadn’t gone exactly as planned, but at least no one had recognized me or asked for a selfie.
I touched my fingertips to the ends of my curls, the new style giving me more confidence and Blaine draped an arm across the back of the chair once I sat.
“You’ll love this place,” he reassured, motioning to the crowd and the stage where two women drunkenly stumbled through “Don’t Stop Believin’,” pulling the crowd into the chorus.
“I don’t have to sing, do I?” I scanned the cocktail menu and brushed my fingers along the hem of the red dress under the table, the fabric grazing above my knee.
I’d pulled it from the back of my closet—an impulse purchase I’d made right before Spencer broke up with me.
I’d never been brave enough to wear it, so my second first date felt like a good time to try.
Turned out it was not the good luck charm I hoped for.
“You’ll want to after a few of these,” Blaine said, pointing at the list of cocktails, all named for karaoke favorites. He pointed to the women on stage. “Exhibit A.”
I laughed and scanned the list again, considering the Cruel Summer—a citrusy coconut rum concoction, and the Oops, I Did It Again, which was basically a Long Island iced tea.
Theo and I hadn’t gotten through ordering drinks when he was called in to a veterinary emergency.
I was in a Lyft home alone before I could even call it a date. Luckily, I’d run into Hollis.
“I have never gotten on stage,” she said from my other side.
“It’s the best to just cheer for other people.
” She knocked her brother’s hand away and threw an arm over my shoulder.
Her voice rose above the noise in the bar and the music from the stage.
“But I am determined that you have a good night!”
I grinned and nodded. “You didn’t have to bring me with you,” I said. “I hate to intrude.”
Hollis laughed. “Karaoke with Blaine’s friends is not exactly an RSVP occasion. The more the merrier.” She waved to our server, who headed in our direction. “Plus, I like you and you look too hot to be home alone. This dress is killer!”
“Thanks,” I said, observing the room again, out of habit looking for cues I’d been spotted, but no one was paying attention to us. I ordered one of the cocktails Blaine had pointed out, the Eye of the J?ger, and then pulled my phone from my purse when I saw Zoe’s response to my earlier text.
Zoe: He ditched you?!
Willow: He was on call and there was some emergency, I guess.
Zoe: What injured Pekingese is more important than you? This guy is on my list.
Willow: It was a Great Dane, and he was very apologetic.
I’d really not known how to feel. He was hopefully saving someone’s furry family member at that moment.
But my face had also felt hot as I climbed in the car he’d ordered for me, the sting of embarrassment and the feeling of other diners’ eyes on us as we hustled out of the restaurant sticking with me.
I’d been hopeful about the date and ready for a little awkward conversation and maybe a tentative kiss at the end of the night.
Mostly, I’d been looking forward to that feeling of anticipation I’d felt when Deacon had practiced with me.
Despite wondering if I was doing it right, if I was laughing enough or touching him enough, when I hung out with Deacon, I was relaxed, and a sense of fun came easily between us.
I thought the same would be true with Theo, only maybe with more kissing and less of Cruz’s invisible presence in the background.
Willow: Don’t add him to your list. I’m fine.
“Okay,” Hollis said, returning to me. She pointed at the other people around the table, starting with a tall, dark-haired guy sitting on Blaine’s other side.
“Alex is Blaine’s ex, but I think they’re going to get back together.
” She pointed at the two others across the table, a redhead and a blonde.
“Sara and Delta went to high school with us,” she said, her gaze sweeping to the last person.
“And that’s Des,” Hollis said, her voice dipping low.
Des was walking to the table from the pool table and wore a tight button-up with jeans; their gait was pure confidence.
“Des is Blaine’s bestie, and I’ve been in love with them since I was about fifteen.
” Hollis let out a dramatic sigh. “They’re in vet school at Iowa State, so I don’t see them much anymore. ”
“Really?” I sat up straighter. “I was pre-vet in college, well, up until my last year.”
“Why’d you change?” Hollis accepted her drink from the server and handed mine over. “No judgment. I changed my major like thirteen times.”
I shrugged. “Just didn’t work out.” Really, Spencer convinced me to get a second major in business on top of the pre-vet curriculum, but as we neared graduation, we were talking about getting married and starting a family, and we decided vet school would make that really challenging.
Vet school would have taken a lot of my time, and we thought business might provide more flexibility.
Sure, Spencer suggested it and I’d been resistant to the idea at first, but we wanted kids, and I hadn’t wanted to disappoint him by having to wait.
Cruz had urged me to reconsider the decision, reminding me that I could have both things, but I knew Spencer felt strongly about it, and losing him and being alone seemed like the worst possible thing to me at the time.
Hollis waved Des over and took a large sip from her drink. “Think you’d ever go back for vet school?”
“You’re in vet school?” Des pulled Hollis into a side hug, and I saw her cheeks pink at the contact.
“No,” I said, trying my own drink. “But I was pre-vet in college.” Des’s gaze drifted back to Hollis, and I sensed my new friend’s crush wasn’t completely one-sided. “Do you like your program?”
Des’s face lit up. “It’s better than I could have imagined.
” Des talked about their classes and lab work, and I was entranced.
I’d wanted to be a veterinarian since I was a teenager when I started volunteering at the humane society.
I’d taken every science elective in high school and volunteered as a research assistant for three years with a professor studying immunology in cattle.
I should have found someone else to talk to, so Hollis could have time alone with her crush, but every word out of their mouth made me feel an actual ache for the career I’d given up.
“I could give you a tour sometime if you want,” Des offered, and I jumped—literally jumped—in my chair, blurting a yes before they finished.
“And if you’d ever want to apply, it never hurts to get more volunteer work with animals under your belt. ”
“I’d love a tour,” I said, keeping in my seat this time.
“Thank you.” It took every ounce of willpower to not search for the school website.
Iowa State had always been at the top of my list of dream schools when I was considering attending, even though the program at Colorado State was awesome and closer to home.
“Hollis can give you my number,” they said, turning their attention to Hollis and giving her an easy smile. Oh yeah. There were lots of vibes here. “You still have my number, right? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
She nodded eagerly, reaching for her phone, and I looked around for an exit to give them a few minutes without me in the middle.
There was a stand by the stage with all the song options that a group had just walked away from, so I walked there, thumbing through the book.
I glanced back at the two of them to see they had their heads close together and felt a pang of jealousy for that kind of connection.
I missed that, but talking to Des about vet school and thinking about my plans to be ready for my next relationship had me considering that maybe I was thinking too small.
Des brushed a red strand from Hollis’s shoulder, and the two laughed.
For so long, when I pictured my future, it was having those kinds of moments I most looked forward to.
I slid my finger down the list of songs, my gaze catching on one.
I still wanted those moments, craved what Hollis might be feeling right now—the anticipation and excitement, the sense of being cherished.
But I wanted what Des had, too. Their excitement about their career and their experiences in school preparing to be a veterinarian—it was palpable.
Maybe I wasn’t thinking big enough. I wanted both.
“You wore red.” The familiar deep voice from behind me made me whip around, my drink sloshing in my hand.
Deacon leaned against the stage in a plain black T-shirt that stretched across his broad chest, and he ran fingers through his hair, moving it off his face so that the light brown strands fell back into place around his chiseled face.
I’d never had a thing for men with long hair before, but I fantasized about running my fingers through it.
His gaze swept over my dress in a way that made me feel warm and far more exposed than I actually was. “I knew you’d look good in red.”
With my cheeks heating, I brushed my hands down the skirt. “Thanks. What are you doing here?”
He pointed a thumb over his shoulder at a table of people. “Night out with the roommates,” he said. “You must have missed my flawless performance.”
“We just got here.” My brain was tripping imagining Deacon on stage.
He looked around, and the muscles around his mouth tensed. “You and the vet?”
I took a sip from my drink and then studied my feet. “Um, no. Some friends. The date didn’t quite work out.”