Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
“Gather around everyone, come in closer.” The sight of Rita in the lounge sent a wave of uneasiness through me. The last time we had seen her outside of a challenge was for the big reveal. Something major must be coming tonight.
“What do you think this is all about?” Trace asked.
“Probably nothing good,” I said.
Rachel snorted next to me. “You can say that again.”
My skin bristled. I should probably be happy for her and Arnie, I knew that. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of being blindsided. The only person who had attempted to warn me was Eli.
Rachel noticed my distant look. “Hey, are we alright?” she asked, worry etched on her face.
“Of course,” I said. And I wanted to believe it. It was almost the truth.
She didn’t look like she believed me, but she let it go as we took our seats on the couch. Speaking of letting it go, Sofia seemed to have no intention of doing so. As soon as she sat down next to me, she elbowed me in the side .
“Oops.” She feigned a pout.
She had been shooting daggers at me through the entire challenge, and I’m sure tonight would be worse. It didn’t seem to matter that Eli had been the one who picked me. I hadn’t had a say in the matter. In fact, I wouldn’t even care if she wanted to take him back. Go right ahead. But even the thought of him and Sofia together caused my stomach to sink. Despite my attempts to stay indifferent toward him, Eli had managed to infiltrate my thoughts. If I didn’t stop it soon, I’d have a full-on crush on him.
The guys sat opposite us. Eli’s eyes met mine and he winked. His look of concern from earlier hadn’t quite faded away, and just like that, my resolve not to fall for him wavered ever so slightly.
“So, everyone,” Rita said, standing in the middle of the two groups and waiting for a camera operator to zoom in on us. “The challenge earlier didn’t exactly go to plan. We had one injury, two incompletes, and only one couple who finished without issue.”
Rachel and Arnie smiled at each other, and I felt any weirdness toward either of them evaporate completely. If Arnie and I had been partners for this challenge, there was no way we’d have finished. He would have probably gone into a panic trying to calm me down, and then we both would have needed evacuation off the course. Maybe Eli was right all along. I wasn’t doing myself any favors by always sticking with the safe choice.
I met Eli’s gaze again before holding up my injured hand and shrugging. He tilted his head and shook it slightly while grinning.
Sofia shifted aggressively in the seat next to me, forcing me to turn my attention to her .
“You’re being so obvious,” she hissed. “He feels bad for you. He isn’t into you.”
Fear gripped my chest as she vocalized the exact words I dreaded the most when it came to Eli. I made an effort to focus on Rita and ignore Sofia’s comment. It was obvious she was upset about recent events, and probably a little jealous. I couldn’t take her words to heart.
“Since only one of you finished, it makes it a little difficult to decide what order the girls will be in to pick their partners for the next challenge. To remedy that, we’ll be playing a game tonight.” She had a devious look on her face. “And the winners will be the couple who have gotten to know each other the best.”
My palms already felt warm as she handed each of us a dry erase board, then explained the rules. She would ask us each personal questions about our partners and we would earn a point for each answer we got right. The team with the most points at the end would win, followed by second, third, and last.
“And we got the answers to all of these questions from your interviews or your loved ones, so no cheating.” She eyed us all playfully. “Question number one is for the men. What is your partner’s dream job? Ladies, write down the correct answer for the reveal.”
I wrote down my answer. This should be easy enough.
“Men, reveal.”
Danny flipped his board. “Professional Singer.”
Trace flipped hers. “Singer.”
“Ding Ding Ding. We have one point to Danny and Trace,” Rita said.
We went down the line.
Arnie. “Touring Back Up Dancer.”
Rachel. “Touring Back Up Dancer. ”
Grant turned his. “Model?”
Sofia groaned and rolled her eyes next to me as she turned her card. “Actress.”
Eli flipped his card around. “Author.”
I flipped mine to reveal that they matched.
“Alright, that’s a point for everyone except for Grant and Sofia. Now onto the next question.”
She asked the women the same question next and Eli and I scored another point when I wrote “writer/director.” The next question was, where did your partner grow up? Eli got us a point with Chicago, and I got us one with LA. An array of casual questions followed.
What’s your partner’s favorite season?
What’s your partner’s favorite food?
What’s your partner’s biggest fear?
Everyone got some right here and there, but a lot were guesses too. I answered ‘snake’ for biggest fear for Eli and it turned out to be right. I bounced up and down in my seat, smiling at him. With that correct answer, we were tied for first with Danny and Trace.
“Next question. Let’s make it a little juicier.” Rita winked at the camera. “Men, how many sexual partners has your partner had?”
A blush crept over my cheeks. Eli winced. While the idea of the show exploiting us like this was completely gross, it wasn’t worth making a scene over. Since the guys were guessing first, I wrote my number down. I looked at my number and felt absolutely fine about it, but I couldn’t help but wonder how Eli would feel when he saw it. Or worse, how I would feel when he revealed his.
Everyone revealed their numbers down the line. There wasn’t anything too surprising. Danny even got Trace’s right.
Then it was Eli’s turn. He flipped his card. “4. ”
I turned my card to reveal a “1.”
The room fell silent and I prayed we’d move on quickly. It wasn’t so much the number itself that brought down the mood, it was the innuendo behind it. My fiancé had died. Now everyone was doing the quick mental calculations in their head to determine that yes, I had only ever slept with one person, who now was no longer here. Even worse, now Eli knew exactly how long it had been since I had been with a guy. I knew two years was a long time; Piper reminded me of that constantly. But I couldn’t force something I didn’t feel just for the sake of moving on.
“Alright girls, same question about your men. And remember, guys, no lying about your answers.”
I breathed a sigh of relief that she didn’t linger on my number. My marker hovered over my board as I tried to decide what number to put down. Would forty be a good guess? I knew he had a reputation, but how much of that was just the media outlets spinning a tale?
The guys revealed their numbers one at a time.
Trace knew Danny’s exactly, which made me think they had already found time for a few intimate conversations. Rachel wasn’t far off from Arnie’s, but Sofia wasn’t even close to Grant’s. I wasn’t sure if the two of them had even managed to score a point yet.
It was my turn. I flipped to reveal a “45.”
Eli’s expression was impossible to read as he flipped his card. “100ish.”
My eyebrows shot up as I tried to neutralize my expression of surprise. That was fine. He was a grown man who could sleep with whoever he wanted to. But 100ish ? We weren’t even in the same league. Hell, we weren’t even playing the same game . I knew my cheeks were beet red, but I tried my hardest to pretend like his answer hadn’t jarred me .
“Wow, Eli,” Rita purred. “I think we all saw that one coming. Maybe it’s a bit of a low estimate, huh?”
“I don’t think so,” Eli said gruffly, shaking his head.
He wasn’t looking at me and I wondered what he was thinking. Did he think we were too mismatched?
“Next question,” Rita continued. “How long was your partner’s longest relationship?”
Eli got that one right, thanks to our kitchen conversation the other day. When it was my turn to answer for him I guessed six months.
Eli still wouldn’t meet my eyes when he flipped his card. “A few weeks.”
Rita snorted when she saw it. “That’s probably generous.”
I glared at her. Who was she to use that judgmental tone with him? She didn’t know him well enough to make a snide remark like that.
Then it was time for the last question.
“How many times has your partner been in love?”
Eli and I answered last.
He got mine right with one. When I answered for him and flipped over a “0,” my heart cracked a little when I saw that I’d gotten it right.
In the end, Danny and Trace won, but Eli and I managed second place.
As soon as Rita announced the end of the game, Shay appeared, looking impatient as usual, waving around a clipboard.
“Alright, men, let’s go. We need interviews from all of you.”
When Eli passed me, he kept his stare fixed on the floor, refusing to look at me. I swallowed hard.
“Hey, are you okay?” Trace asked as she circled me.
“Me? I’m f-fine.” My shaky voice betrayed me .
“Some of the questions were a bit too personal, if you ask me,” Trace said.
“Whatever,” Sofia muttered. “You got basically all of them right. Clearly you and Danny knew what to talk about.”
Trace huffed in annoyance. “We were just getting to know each other, you know, because we actually like each other.”
“So it’s official, then? You two like each other?” Rachel asked.
“We do,” Trace confirmed shyly.
Rachel cast an anxious glance in my direction. This was the first time I had seen so much as a crack in her tough exterior.
“Calla, can we talk? Just the two of us. I’ll be quick.”
“Of course.” I followed her over to the giant windowed doors and we took a step outside before sitting on the couch Eli and I had sat on the other night. I pulled down on my sleeves and huddled closer to the fire.
“Look,” she breathed. “I’m so sorry about how everything went down today. I should have tried harder to talk to you about it before it happened.”
“That would have been nice,” I admitted, trying not to sound bitter.
“It’s just, I don’t even know what’s going on between Arnie and me. Trust me, he was the last guy I expected to feel anything for in this.”
“But you do?” I questioned. My desire for Arnie to be happy outweighed my desire to have him as my security blanket.
“I do.” She leaned back in her seat and groaned, covering her eyes with her hands. “What the hell is wrong with me? He’s nothing like the guys I normally go for.”
“He’s probably better,” I said.
“He’s just so sweet. And every time I talk, he listens—like, really listens. And he’s not afraid to be emotional and admit he’s been hurt in the past. I admire that. Plus, he’s like the smartest person I’ve ever met.”
“Rachel,” I stopped her. “I was just surprised today, is all. I had no idea Arnie wasn’t picking me. But I’m happy for you both, seriously.”
“Good,” Rachel said. “And it’s better this way. You and Eli are so obviously into each other.”
Her words made my heart pound as I took in the spectacular mountain views sprawled out in front of me. After a moment of silence, I turned to Rachel. “Eli and I are ridiculous, right? Like, we don’t fit at all.”
“Are we on the same show? I could cut the tension between you two with a knife,” Rachel said.
Maybe I’d felt tension, but I hadn’t realized other people had. “You seriously think so?”
“He’s always watching you like he can’t take his eyes off of you. You really haven’t noticed?”
I sighed deeply. “I mean, I’ve noticed. But I just don’t understand what his deal is.” Why me? I had nothing to offer him.
“His deal is that he likes you.”
“I don’t know. . .”
“Don’t be dumb. It’s so obvious.”
I tried not to look offended at her bluntness.
Rachel sighed. “I wanted to be here about as badly as you did. Maybe even less. But we’re here now and we might as well make the most of it.”
“I’m trying.”
“Are you? Because it seemed like you were going to try to ride with Arnie until the end, even though I know you don’t like him like that.”
We both stared at the crackling fire for a minute. What I thought was going to be a quick, heartfelt apology about Arnie had turned into a reality check.
“I really don’t want to get hurt,” I finally admitted.
Rachel inhaled sharply before letting out a laugh. “Are you serious? None of us want to get hurt. That’s why we’re here. Clearly our families thought we were so bad at finding love that it was never gonna happen if they left it up to us.”
“My sister and my mom are desperate for me to move on. I guess two years is the time limit on grief,” I said.
Rachel assessed me. “I’m sure they don’t think that.”
I knew I was playing the victim and I hated myself for it a little bit. Of course my family didn’t think that. It wasn’t so much a time limit on grief, as a time limit on living. I couldn’t let my loss consume me forever.
“Maybe you’re right. But I still don’t know that Eli is a very good option for me.”
She laughed. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“You should have seen the conflict in Danny’s eyes when I wanted to quit,” Trace said. “He looked so pained. But then he just acted like it was no big deal and helped me get down. It killed him to quit, though; I could see it. I think the vein in his neck nearly popped.”
We all burst out laughing as Trace regaled us with the story of her quitting on Danny during today’s high ropes course mission. Sofia still sat across the room, sulking in a corner. To say she wasn’t over what happened with Eli earlier would be an understatement. But I wasn’t about to waste my energy trying to get her to like me if she was hellbent on hating me .
“I honestly don’t know why he likes me,” Trace added. “We’re so different.”
“You saw what he was like with me,” Rachel said. “We’re similar personalities, and that was a disaster. You’re probably a welcome change of pace.”
Sitting here with Trace and Rachel made it feel like we were real friends just talking about our crushes. I could almost forget the cameras above us and the microphones recording every word. Almost.
A few minutes later, the guys finally returned to the lounge, looking exhausted. I didn’t blame them. It was impossible not to feel haggard after those interview sessions.
To my relief, Eli made a beeline for me and he was no longer avoiding eye contact.
“Hey.” His voice was wary as he approached.
“Hi,” I said, smiling.
My smile seemed to shift something in him, because his anxious expression fell away and I saw the hint of his dimple forming.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
But before I could get up, Sofia stormed over to us.
“No!” she exclaimed. “If you’re talking to anyone, you’re going to talk to me, and you’re going to explain what the hell happened out there today.”
Eli looked agitated. “I told you I wanted to pick Calla.”
“And I convinced you not to,” she said.
He sighed, shaking his head. “No, you didn’t.”
“Whatever. You still owe me an explanation.” She grabbed his arm and started dragging him away. He gave me a look that said, I’ll be right back.
Danny rolled his eyes at Sofia’s outburst. “Damn, she really needs to get over it. Eli has been talking about picking Calla as a partner since we got here. ”
Why did everyone keep saying that like it was something absolutely everyone knew?
“I, for one, hope he takes her back,” Grant said.
Danny snorted. “You’re only saying that because you don’t want to be partnered with Sofia.”
“Can you blame me?” Grant asked. “She’s exhausting. She only talks about herself.”
Trace and I locked eyes and smirked. The only time Grant wasn’t being self-centered was when he made an inappropriate joke. The two of them had probably exhausted themselves trying to have a conversation with each other when they each only wanted to talk about themselves.
“Eli isn’t going to pick Sofia again. He isn’t going to be giving up on Calla that easily,” Rachel said.
“Can we talk about anything else?” I begged.
Arnie eyed me nervously. “I was wondering if maybe the two of us could talk?” he asked me.
“Sure,” I said, more than ready to clear the air.
We moved to the other side of the room, over by the windows. From this angle, I could just make out Sofia outside, screaming at Eli as he held up his hands in the air in exasperation.
“I’m so sorry, Calla,” Arnie started. “I never meant to hurt you. I just really like Rachel.”
“I know. And you tried to tell me at dinner. I’m sorry I didn’t want to listen to you,” I said. “I was so caught up in how comfortable I was with you that I lost sight of everything else. It wasn’t right to ask you to stay as my partner and not explore other things. Especially not when you could have something great right in front of you.”
Relief radiated off of him. “I’m so glad you said that. I still care about you as a person. I didn’t want this to come between us. ”
“It won’t,” I insisted.
“And all those things you just said, I feel the same way about you. I didn’t want you to be stuck in this friendship-partnership when there could be something more out there for you.”
We both looked outside. Eli shook his head defensively at whatever Sofia had said.
“I’m still not convinced there’s something here for me,” I said.
“Because of his past?” Arnie asked. “Or because you’re not ready to move on at all?”
I honestly wasn’t sure which it was, but one thing crept to the forefront of my mind. Moving on hadn’t felt quite so impossible in the moments I’d spent with Eli.
“I think I’m scared to move on, but I’m even more scared to move on with the wrong person.” I blew out a breath. “I’m not fully healed and I’m worried about what would happen if I gave my heart to the wrong person. Because they could just squash it in their fingers like it was nothing. And if that happens, how long would it take me to get over it, y’know?”
I leaned back and groaned. I hated how fragile I was.
“I know I can’t relate completely, but I get it. When my ex cheated on me, I felt worthless. Like no one would ever want me, and that I wasn’t deserving of love. My family and friends would try to set me up, but I just couldn’t put myself out there. What if the next person just did the same thing? Why was I worth staying with?”
My heart broke for him a little at his confession. I touched his arm. “Because you’re smart. And you’re caring in a way that always comes off as genuine. As soon as I saw your eyes, I gravitated toward you. In this sea of phoniness, you stood out as being trustworthy. And this is just from me knowing you for a few days. ”
He ducked his head.
“Thanks, Calla. You have no idea how relieved I am that you don’t hate me now. I wanted to tell you at dinner, so badly, but I didn’t have the guts. And to be fair, I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do at that point. Then Shay finally convinced me that I had to take a chance for myself.”
Shay. Of course.
Not that Arnie wouldn’t have made the decision on his own at some point, but I’m sure her motives in encouraging him to pick Rachel were less than sincere. Suddenly my easy interview yesterday made sense. They wanted me to be blindsided. They were hoping I’d be so caught up in my plans to stick with Arnie that I wouldn’t even entertain other possibilities. Meanwhile, they were orchestrating a different outcome right under my nose.
I had to be even more careful in here than I thought.
“You’re impossible!”
Arnie and I both turned our heads at the sound of Sofia screeching.
She barged through the doors and stomped across the room. Brady appeared out of nowhere and followed her, probably hoping to pull her aside for an interview while she was at her most heated.
Glancing back out the window, I saw Eli shaking his head, looking tired.
“You should talk to him,” Arnie said. “Not much else to do around here.”
“That’s an understatement.”
Arnie left me alone as I mentally hyped myself up to go out there and talk to Eli. His answers in the game were none of my business, and I would never judge him on those grounds. But I had to admit it made me even more sure than I’d been before that we didn’t fit. We were still partners, though, and we were still bound together in this strange version of reality. So I stood up and placed a tentative hand on the door before pushing it open to face him.
He spun around before putting his hands on his hips and sighing with relief.
“I was worried you were Sofia, back to tear into me some more.”
“I think she’s too busy tearing you down in front of a camera somewhere. She did not look happy.”
“She’s acting like we’re breaking up when we were never together. I made sure I never led her on and I told her I didn’t have feelings for her. We barely even spoke. I mean, how is she this upset?” he asked, perplexed.
I leaned against one of the wooden beams, wrapping my arms around myself. “If I had to guess, I’d say she’s a lot more upset about losing out on a chance to date a famous actor than she is about anything else.”
He laughed. “I’m a C-list actor at best. I would have done nothing to propel her to fame.”
“C-list actor with an A-list father. I’m sure she did the calculations.”
“Well, now at least I don’t feel as bad,” he said, chuckling. “She called me a bastard and said I broke her heart. I don’t even know what her last name is.”
“Do you need to know someone’s last name to break their heart?” I asked.
He thought about it for a second. “I think so. It sets the precedent that you cared enough to ask in the first place.”
“What if it was love at first sight, and you connected so well on all these other things that something as simple as a last name seemed trivial?” I pressed, teasing him.
He grinned. “In that instance, I guess maybe it would be possible. ”
We stood in silence for a moment before he spoke again. “Calla, what’s your last name?”
“Why? Plan on breaking my heart?”
I expected him to smile at my joke, but instead he frowned and something flickered across his face. Determination? Concern? I wasn’t quite sure.
“I just want to know,” he said. And in that moment, I found him unreadable.
I answered him anyway. “It’s Scott.”