Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The air buzzed with energy in the large, converted warehouse. Voices trickled over to me as soon as I stepped inside the industrial space, but one in particular stood out from the rest.
It only took me moments to spot him once I scanned the room.
A few cameras were set up, pointing at one of the walls where furniture had been strategically placed to look like an office. Bright lights shone down on a group of people sitting there and talking amongst themselves.
Eli stood over the group, pointing at each of them in turn and explaining something. Headphones rested around his neck and he wore a black t-shirt and jeans. It was warm in here, despite the frigid temperatures outside.
Walking toward the small set, my nerves started to get the best of me. Sure, he had said I could call him any time day or night, but had he actually meant it? Would he really want me disrupting his work day? It had been almost a week since he’d shown up at my doorstep. I had wrestled with my emotions for a while before deciding that my family was right. I had to see him.
Once I was at the edge of the set, I caught the attention of one of the actors. Eli whipped his head around to see what had caused the distraction.
His eyes widened before his face broke out into a huge grin.
I shifted back and forth on my feet, unsure whether I should go to him, or what. He didn’t let me wonder for long. He walked over determinedly, pinning me in place with his gaze.
“You’re here,” he breathed, his gaze sweeping over me, almost as if he didn’t believe I was actually standing there.
“I called your assistant. She gave me the address.”
Eli’s shot a questioning look at a short blonde with a pixie cut, who immediately looked away as if she’d been caught.
“Why didn’t you just call me?” he asked.
“I figured it was my turn to show up unannounced.”
He processed that for a moment before shaking his head and laughing. “I suppose you’re right.”
“So,” I said, offering a subject change. “This is all pretty impressive.”
“Ah, yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the modest set. “This is what making an independent movie looks like. Not quite the big sets you see out in LA, but?—”
“It’s better,” I insisted, cutting him off. “More authentic.”
“That’s what I’m hoping,” he said.
“Definitely way better than the set we met on.”
He arched an eyebrow before chuckling. “That one had its perks.”
We stared at each other for a few seconds. I had forgotten how much I missed simply looking at him.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I said .
“You’re not.” He shook his head. “We were actually just about to wrap up after this scene.”
“What’s it about?”
He smiled. “Well, the main guy, Devon—the socially repressed workaholic—he’s messed things up pretty badly with his love interest. He came to her office to try to talk things out, but she doesn’t want to hear it.”
Biting my lip, I avoided meeting his eyes. “Sounds like he has a lot of groveling to do.”
“Oh, you have no idea.”
Eli shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned his body a little so that he’d be more in my line of sight. “So...did you just drop in because of your fascination with the film industry, or...”
“I wanted to talk to you,” I admitted. The hope written all over his face pulled at my heart. Being around him again had my whole body tingling with anticipation.
“Can you hang out here for half an hour? That’s all it’ll take to wrap up this scene, and then I’m all yours.”
My chest tightened at the double meaning I could take from his words. The nervousness I currently felt around him made it hard to remember a time when I thought we’d be living together. In another universe, we were watching movies cuddled up on our couch, or taking the puppy we’d rescued for a morning walk.
“I can wait.”
It was mesmerizing to watch Eli take control of that room. He told the actors where to sit and talked them through the emotions they’d be portraying. Anytime he called out a direction, I felt a flurry of butterflies. He seemed so in control. And happy. One of the actors kept messing up his lines, but instead of getting frustrated, Eli kept cracking up at the mistake .
I had never seen him acting, but I knew there was no way it could bring out the same joy in him that this clearly did.
I watched, completely entranced until Eli called ‘cut’ about forty minutes later. He ripped his headphones off his neck and made a beeline straight for me, as if he had only been thinking about getting back to me the entire time.
“Sorry that took so long.” He looked like he wanted to reach out and hold me in place.
“You’re riveting to watch,” I said. “You’re really good at this.”
“You think?” And just like that he appeared boyish and eager for approval.
“You’re a natural,” I insisted.
His eyes glazed over a bit before he blinked a few times. “Why don’t we get out of here? There’s a coffee shop just next door.”
We walked there in silence. Eli held the door open for me and I stepped into the small shop. Worn leather seats in a mix of colors were crammed into every crevice of the space. I sat down and nervously ran my hands over my soft corduroy pants while Eli got us coffees. I noticed the barista shoot a look between Eli and I, likely recognizing us from the show. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything and the rest of the shop was completely empty.
When he sat back down across from me, I took the hot beverage, grateful to have something to do with my hands.
“So,” Eli started.
“So,” I continued, tapping the edge of my cup. “I’m glad you decided to go the independent route for your movie,” I finally said. “It feels more genuine—more you.”
“I couldn’t take my father’s money. Not after everything.” A shadow crossed his face. “I’m never planning on speaking to him again if I can help it. ”
“Wow. We’re just getting right into it.” While I had come to talk things out, it still felt hard bringing up these memories.
“Calla, since that last day I’ve thought about nothing except what I would say to you if I ever got the chance. I’m dying to get right into it.”
“And what did you come up with?” I asked, concentrating on keeping my voice steady.
He moved forward in his seat until only a few inches separated our knees. He seemed to contemplate taking my hands in his before thinking better of it.
“When I arrived on set that first day, I genuinely thought I was there to film a movie. My father had provided me with a whole fake script and everything. I had already quit acting, but he said that if I did this one last movie, then he would fund the project of my choice. We weren’t on great terms. He’d been threatening for months to cut me off completely if I didn’t clean up my image. But getting a rise out of him lit a fuse in me. I couldn’t help myself. I wish I had been more mature, but I can’t change that now.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “So, I finally agreed. But when I got there, and Shay revealed the real nature of what we’d be filming, I tried to walk off. She talked me down and I decided to stay. She told me about you.” He eyed me nervously. “I can’t lie about that. She told me there would be a girl in the cast who would be good for my image.”
“Good girl with the tragedy,” I muttered.
“But I never intended to go through with it,” he insisted. “I had it in my head that I was going to agree to the show and fuck with my father. Maybe start a fight, or get involved in drama. I hadn’t thought it through yet. I just thought, what a great way to mess up my image even more, and send a big ‘fuck you’ message to him.” He licked his lips, eyes searching mine. “But then I saw you. You looked so panicked, and I could see the betrayal written all over your face. It wasn’t just an inconvenience for you. It actually hurt you to be there. And from that moment, I knew I needed to know more.”
“So, you basically manipulated the show to become my partner,” I said softly.
“Because you were the only person I wanted to talk to.” He blew out a breath. “I know how it looks, but I didn’t chase after you because of them. I swear, Calla, I didn’t know much, but I knew I wanted to know you. And once I started, I couldn’t stop.”
I took a sip of my coffee just to have something to do other than stare into Eli’s desperate eyes.
“I just find it hard to believe your intentions were always pure,” I admitted.
“Everything I ever said to you was true. I swear.” Eli set his coffee down on the table between us and leaned forward.
I lifted a brow. “So, you were never planning on taking your father up on his offer?”
Eli winced at that. “After I had started to fall for you, I figured what was the harm in taking his money too. I didn’t really think about how it would make you feel, I just thought...I just thought, my dad hasn’t actually been a father to me for my entire life. The least he could do was help me with this.”
My chest tightened. “And that’s where it gets a little bit hard for me to believe you. To understand which lines you were blurring.”
“I get that now,” Eli promised. “I should have never let you run off set that last day. It still haunts me. Keeps me up at night.” He frowned at the memory. “But when you said it was all an act, that I was acting. It hurt. You’ve been the only person I’ve ever let in, and my inferiority complex was still screaming at me that I’d never be enough. So to hear that you thought I’d faked it, that I really was this piece of shit everyone else believed me to be, I couldn’t handle it. It stung like the most searing pain I’d ever experienced.”
“I was hurting. I wasn’t sure what to believe,” I murmured, not wanting to think about that fight.
Eli looked pained. “I know that now. I should have realized it then. Any hurt I was feeling, you were feeling ten times worse. But I’d thought that it was us against the world, or something. I felt so strongly about you—so sure we’d make it—that I took it all for granted. I thought you might be upset when I told you everything, but I never imagined I’d lose you.”
“And I never imagined being so betrayed by someone who I cared so much about,” I said.
“I know. And I’d give anything to go back and erase all the pain. All the hurt. I would take it all away if I could. But I can’t. And now all I can do is beg you to give me another chance to move past this.”
His eyes locked on mine. “I didn’t take my father’s money. It means nothing to me. I could have filmed this movie anywhere, but I needed to be close to you. I’ve gone my whole life without knowing you, yet now being separated from you—I can’t handle it. I know how afraid you are to trust me, but I can promise you I will do everything in my power to never hurt you again, Calla.”
My eyes misted over as he laid himself bare before me.
“Please,” he begged. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The only good thing, really. I can’t let you slip through my fingers.”
“It should be so easy to say yes,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I’ve missed you so much.”
He grabbed my hand. “Then please say yes. Please. I will never make it hard for you to trust me again. ”
Despite his earnestness ripping a hole right through my heart, the impenetrable guard I’d carefully built up did not crumble.I swallowed thickly and shook my head, trying not to cry. “I just can’t.”
His expression became frantic. “Please. I can’t lose you. Not for real.”
“You already did.” I pulled my hand from his and stood, grabbing my bag. “I’m sorry, Eli. I do forgive you. But I think moving on, for me, means moving on from this, too.”
“No,” he pleaded, standing as well. “You’re pushing me out again, you’re?—”
“I have to do what’s right for me,” I said, tears streaming down my cheeks. “Just let it go.”
He let out a sharp breath before shaking his head. “Never.”
Then I turned and hurried away.