23. Kieran
KIERAN
He isn’t coming.
And I have no idea why that thought makes me so upset. I should just leave.
I’m leaning against a tree in what I think is the same spot in the woods as last time, feeling like a complete idiot. This is probably some sort of setup. Another way for Jace Ryan to humiliate me.
Walking into class yesterday, he dropped a folded piece of paper into my open backpack. I knew better than to open it then, so I waited until I got to my car after school. The outside had a poorly drawn tree on it, and the sheet itself was a printed schedule of the baseball team’s games.
There was no time. No handwritten note stating we should meet again.
A part of me hopes that I was wrong, and that Jace and I aren’t already so on the same page that I understood his cryptic message like I’d thought.
He used the excuse that our previous hookups were for good luck, so I assumed he wanted a repeat and that the tree meant to meet here before his next game. Rather bold to include the whole season.
So here I am, after my shift just like the last two times. But Jace is nowhere to be seen. Whatever, it’s probably for the best. Just because the other hookups have been so hot doesn’t mean we should keep—
“Hey.” His deep voice interrupts my thoughts, and the relief I feel is embarrassing. I’m just horny. It doesn’t mean anything. “I wasn’t sure if you’d show up,” he adds, sounding nervous.
The vindictive part of me loves it, knowing I’m the one making him nervous after everything he’s done to me, and revels in the memory of how eager he looked on his knees for me.
But there’s another part, a much softer part, that’s such a sucker for his warm brown eyes, and remembers how vulnerable he was asking me about his sexuality.
“Well, I like getting my dick sucked as much as any other guy,” I say dismissively, trying not to reveal my own nerves.
Today is different. We both chose to come here, to meet—there was no cornering in a bathroom or sexually charged conversation in a small car.
We both showed up on our own, planning to blow each other.
“Should I, uh… Do you want me to go first again?” he asks, stumbling over the question.
I bite my lip in an attempt to hide how cute I think him fumbling around is. “Yeah, you can suck my dick first,” I say plainly, loving the way his eyes flare and his cheeks heat at my words.
It’s just as satisfying seeing him on his knees below me as it was the first time.
The orgasm is amazing.
And I have to admit, at least to myself, that I enjoy being on my knees for him just as much.
Early April
Every time Jace sucks my dick, he gets even better.
I have his schedule memorized at this point, and without fail, on the nights before his games, we both end up in this same spot and take turns dropping to our knees.
He swears it’s helping him win games, and I don’t care enough to fact-check him because he’s actually become… nicer.
Not in public. There, he still ignores me completely.
But when we’re here alone?
He’s different.
There’s still no kissing or texting or any interaction at all outside of these woods, but when we’re here, it’s like the outside world doesn’t exist.
We’re both fully dressed again after swapping orgasms. I’ve honestly lost track of how many times it’s been.
But, the last few, we haven’t been in the same hurry as we were during our early exchanges.
He’s standing across from me now, still leaning against our tree, but he’s looking at me when he’d normally be turning back toward the path.
“So I’ve, uh, I still haven’t seen you and Liv together this year. It seemed like she really wanted to be your friend, though, when we were dating,” he finally mutters.
Somehow I manage to hold in my laugh. Seriously? He’s going to bring up his ex-girlfriend after that?
“What, are my blowjob skills lacking?” I ask dramatically. “Ready to run back to your ex?”
His eyes are comically wide as he hurries to respond. “What? No. No, I never said that.”
“I’m just teasing.” I brush him off with a grin. “Yeah, she’s tried talking to me. But we still aren’t friends.”
“Oh. I just thought that maybe since you and I have been…” he trails off.
Well, shit.
I hadn’t really considered that I ended my friendship with Liv because she wanted to date him, and now I’m… Well, we’re sure as hell not dating, but we’ve been consistently hooking up. Am I a hypocrite?
“You’re friends with Danny, though, right?” he asks, distracting me from that concerning realization.
“Yeah.”
“But you guys aren’t… more than friends, right?”
I scoff. “No. We did kiss once, but it only confirmed that there was nothing more between us,” I admit, not really sure why I told him all that, but he visibly relaxes at my answer.
“You kissed him? Does he like you then?” he asks curiously.
“No, but it’s kind of fun for me to see you all jealous like this,” I joke.
“I’m not jealous!” he huffs, crossing his arms “I just… Does he know about…?” He motions between us.
I laugh. “Does Danny know that, a few times a week, I’m meeting up to exchange good luck blowjobs with the person who drove us to become friends after pretending to be him to lock me in a storage shed?
No. I’m not an idiot. And I wouldn’t out you.
I know you’re not about to admit what we’re doing to anyone. ”
His shoulders sag in relief as he lets out a big breath, but his expression still looks… concerned, maybe. “Shit, I didn’t think you would. That’s not why I asked.” He rubs his hands over his eyes for a moment. “I wanted to say that I hope you and Liv work it out, but I’m glad you have a friend.”
My jaw falls open as I blink at him. It wasn’t an apology. But it was… something. An acknowledgement of guilt from a man I didn’t think was capable of the emotion. I have to force myself to school my expression before I agree. “Yeah, I’m happy to have Danny in my life.”
End of April
Since then, we’ve lingered every time.
Nothing too deep. But today he’s hesitating again, biting his thumbnail like he does when he’s nervous, and he looks like he might want to say more.
So, I wait for him to say what’s on his mind.
“Your, uh, your parents seemed cool that one time at the Mexican restaurant. And Liv talked highly of them. Are they always like that?”
I chuckle at how nervous he seems to ask such an easy question. “Yeah, they’re the best. Why?”
“I’m just… glad that you have that,” he responds with a shrug. And, like I’ve come to learn he does when things get a little too real, he turns to leave.
Early May
After our hookup, I’m ready with my question. “What are your parents like? Everyone seems to love Coach Ryan.”
He visibly freezes, his whole body tensing.
Shit. I wasn’t expecting that. He’s made some comments that’ve confirmed my suspicions that Jace has some problems with his dad, but that reaction was far more than I expected.
He shifts his weight, glancing around the clearing before he finally scoffs. “My dad’s really great at playing his role.”
“Of coach?” I clarify, not understanding why he sounds so annoyed by that.
“Of the town’s ‘golden boy,’ ” he says in a louder tone. “People idolize him because he was almost successful, but they have no idea what he’s really like.”
I suck in a sharp breath at his change in demeanor, but remind myself that I’m not the one he’s mad at. “What’s he really like?” I ask softly, hoping he’ll talk to me.
He shakes his head dismissively. “Let’s just say all the yelling he does on the field that people so easily dismiss as his ‘coaching style,’ all the slurs and insults he uses, sound like praise compared to what he’s like at home.”
Fuck. “I’m so sorry, Jace, no one deserves—”
“It’s fine, we’re not here to talk about that,” he interrupts as he picks up his bag. “I’ve got to go anyway.”
Early May
I spend the next two days kicking myself for putting my foot in my mouth.
Jace was obviously pissed I asked about his dad.
I can’t believe I pushed and ruined what was beginning to be a pretty good thing.
And even though I’m convinced he won’t show up, that I made him too uncomfortable, I still go to the woods the night before his next game.
I’m shocked to find him already there. Like always, we get right to blowjobs, and like every other time he’s on his knees with his lips wrapped around my dick, he seems to be in a competition with himself to make it better than all the others. Somehow, he always does.
And I try my best to be even better.
When we’re dressed, and he moves to his bag, I think he’s reverted back to the way things were in the beginning. I’m not even mad because I’m relieved I didn’t scare him away completely.
The very last thing I’m expecting is for him to pull out cupcakes.
“I got them at the bake sale the band was having today,” he explains with a shrug. “My dad would be pissed if he saw me eating sugar, so I’m going to have it now, if you want the other one,” he says, holding it out in offering.
I take the delicious-looking red velvet cupcake, trying to ignore the fact that it’s individually packaged and that he must have specifically purchased it for me with this moment in mind. “Thanks, red velvet is my favorite,” I mutter, hoping that he ignores how hot my cheeks suddenly are.
“Yeah, I remember Liv mentioning that,” he says casually, like that’s a totally normal thing to remember about your ex-girlfriend’s ex-best friend.
Doesn’t mean a thing.
And it certainly doesn’t mean anything that we sit down to eat them or that we continue chatting long after the cupcakes are gone.
When we can barely see each other with how dark it’s gotten, Jace slowly stands, surprising me once again when he holds out his hand to help me get up.
“Hey, about last time…” He trails off, and I rush to apologize.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry about your dad.”