44. Kieran #2
“I think you like it,” he whispers, grinding against me again.
It feels good, too good. I was already struggling to think, to convince myself that this—doing anything physical with Jace again—is a horrible idea.
But the feel of his hard dick rubbing against me is only making me eager for more.
I feel like I’m that eighteen-year-old again who secretly enjoyed meeting up with his bully in the woods.
Only now, I’m struggling to remember how things ended, because all I can focus on is the want and desire, just like I did all those years ago.
Without my permission, a “fuck” falls from my lips, spurring Jace on.
“That’s it, K. Use me. Hate me. Come on. Take what you need.” He lets go of my wrist, shifting his hand into my hair, tangling his fingers with the long strands.
I can’t take it anymore. My hand shoots down to grip his thick cock through his pants, and I squeeze.
“Fuckkkk,” he hisses, and I smirk to myself as I regain some semblance of control. But then he opens his fucking mouth again. “That’s it, just like that. Hate me harder. Tell me what you want. My mouth? Want me on my knees for you again?”
“Fine. If you’re so desperate to suck my dick again, do it,” I seethe, face inches from his.
My words sound vicious, but underneath, my nerves are buzzing, just like all those years ago when I challenged him to touch me.
Only this time, it isn’t fear and anxiety that have me worried about how badly things could end; it’s the memories.
I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m well aware I just gave him the power here. He’s about to watch my denial about wanting him slip away, but in this moment, I don’t care. I want it. Want him. Even if I’ll never give him the satisfaction of saying those words out loud.
He’s staring at me with wide eyes, and I wonder for a moment if he’ll back out. But I should know better than that. His mouth twists into an infuriating smirk.
“What are you waiting for?” My voice comes out hoarse. “Get on your knees, hot shot. Suck my cock and remind me what your mouth can do besides piss me off.”
“Gladly.” Jace releases his hold on my hair and drops to his knees, looking up at me. He licks his lips, then scrapes his bottom lip between his teeth before unbuttoning my pants and freeing my straining dick.
“Fuck,” he sighs quietly, and the awe in his voice pisses me off even more because that’s not what this is.
He shouldn’t be on his knees looking like he’s eager to worship me.
This is us giving in to the tension that’s always existed between us.
The hatred and the satisfaction we get off on knowing we hold this power over the other. That’s all this is.
But somehow, he still knows exactly how to get under my skin. I can’t let him though. It’s just physical. It has to be. Just like it’s always been.
“I thought you had a better way to use your mouth?” I taunt.
That finally does it. He grins up at me before licking a long, wet stripe up my cock, then takes me into his mouth. His lips seal tightly around my dick before he sucks me down his throat, and every negative thought I’ve had about Jace over the last thirteen years disappears.
“Holy fuck,” I choke out. Eighteen-year-old Jace could not deepthroat like this.
He’s confident, skilled, and it’s nothing like it was before.
His nose is pressed against my stomach as he tries to swallow around me before pulling back for air without ever breaking eye contact.
He wraps his large hand around the base of my cock as he rotates his wrist and laps at my tip.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I groan, reaching out and digging my fingers into his hair and pulling tight. “You used to call me a cockslut. Look at you now, Jace. Desperate for a taste of my cum.”
He hums around me, popping off then moving his mouth lower. He takes one of my balls into his mouth, then the other, while his fist continues working my shaft. I jolt when his tongue moves a little lower to my taint before he comes back up to suck my dick.
“Fucking hell,” I moan.
“Mmm, you like that, K?” Jace grins when he pops off. “I felt the way your body reacted to my tongue going lower. You want my mouth on your hole?”
I choke on a breath at his suggestion. Jace seems determined to convince me he isn’t the same Jace I used to know—the one who kept us hidden, the one who only ever wanted blowjobs under the guise of good luck.
This Jace is sure of himself, sure of what he likes, sure of his sexuality.
But I don’t want to think about that right now. Thinking leads to feeling, and feeling hurts like hell when it comes to him.
“Shut up,” I growl, grabbing his hair and shoving his mouth back on my cock.
He goes eagerly, and that almost makes it worse. His throat opens, and goddamn, is he talented. It’s impossible to hold in my moans because Jace’s mouth is too good, and he’s making me lose control.
“Fuck, almost there,” I warn.
He works me relentlessly, hand twisting as he’s sucking and swirling his tongue, looking at me with glassy, determined eyes. My thighs start to shake. He keeps bobbing his head, twisting his wrist, and—
“I’m coming,” I gasp, refusing to say his name as I fall apart. My chest heaves as I come down his throat. Jace swallows it all, pulling back with his lips wet, and our eyes lock again.
The reality of what just happened catches up to me quickly.
“Fuck you, Jace,” I snap, needing to get away from him. I pull my pants back into place and storm out into the living room, leaving Jace there on his knees. He can finish himself off. Or not. It’s not like he cared when I didn’t come at the Halloween party all those years ago.
God, I hate him.
I hate that I hooked up with him.
I hate the way my body is still trembling from his mouth.
I hate myself for wanting it.
I hate that he’s the one person in the world who seems to have this invisible hold on me.
I hate that when he was swallowing me down, I felt eighteen again—reckless, needy, and completely unable to resist him.
I hate that I’ve never been able to let what happened between us go.
And I hate, absolutely fucking hate, how it feels like this thing between us is far from over.
I quickly realize I can’t hide out in the main space for long— it wouldn’t be very “perfect couple” of me to spend the night on the couch.
So I use the first excuse I can think of, filling a glass of water.
At the last second I get a second glass for Jace, for the cameras, and mentally prepare myself to face him after storming out like I did.
I should be relieved to find our bed empty, so I ignore my disappointment when I hear the shower on in the en-suite.
And I really shouldn’t be ready for another round as I picture what he’s probably doing in there.
Fuck.
I seriously need today to be over.
I put his water on his nightstand and force myself to go to sleep, trying to remember why I hate him, even if all I can picture is how happy he looked with his lips wrapped around my cock.
I’m so fucked.