57. Jace
JACE
Producer: “What’s the hardest thing about dating in this environment?”
Jace: “I think knowing that everything is being filmed makes it easier to second-guess yourself, to question what you should say or do.”
Kieran is kissing me.
Holy fucking shit.
Kieran is kissing me!
Kieran! Is kissing! Me!
It takes a moment for my brain to restart after the initial moment of his lips landing on mine. All I’m aware of is how right it feels.
When I realize I’m a fully functioning person and can actually participate in this moment instead of being frozen in awe that it’s happening, I remember to kiss him back.
I bring my hands up to the sides of his face, revelling in the fact that Kieran is actually kissing me.
A kiss that I’ve fantasized about for nearly half my life, but gave up on ever hoping would happen years ago.
I deepen the kiss, teasing the seam of his mouth with my tongue and groan when he opens up for me so willingly. He lets me explore his mouth for a moment before fighting me for control. It’s sloppy and desperate and perfect as our tongues tangle together.
I shift one hand to thread my fingers into his hair, holding him to me and the other moves down his strong back until it settles on his firm ass.
I use my hold there to pull his perfect body flush against mine.
I’m overwhelmed by my desire for this man.
Tender feelings, words like mine and forever and love fight for my attention.
But right now, I give into my lust, let the burning need I feel for Kieran take over as I grind my erection against his through our pants, desperate for any friction I can find.
His lips on mine are everything I’ve ever fantasized about, but are somehow also so much more. I’ve never felt more connected to the person I’m kissing. Each moan that escapes his lips feels like it breathes new life into me. For the first time in my life, I feel whole.
Ever since I first noticed him, Kieran’s been the center of my world.
I used to hate him for it—target him, blame him—for how distracting he was.
For how confused his presence made me. When everything finally clicked and I realized I was attracted to him, he became all I could think about: when our next hookup would be, what makeup he’d wear the next day, if he’d ever think about me the way I thought about him.
After everything imploded at the end of senior year, I was left with so many regrets. I constantly thought about everything I’d say to him if I ever got the chance. I was heartbroken, hurt, grieving, and angry all at once.
His online presence let me feel like I was still part of his world, even if from a distance.
It also meant I never really had to get over him, and I didn’t try to.
Instead, I leaned into it and embraced being a fan.
I watched his growth, followed what he was doing, and cherished everything he posted online.
And now I know, really know, that Kieran will always be at the center of my world.
This show brought us back together, gave us a second chance, and proved something I think I’ve known all along: he’s it for me.
It feels like we’re connected on a soul level that I’m not strong enough to fight.
Don’t even want to attempt to fight. Because Kieran Delaney will forever hold my heart in his hands.
If this kiss is the start of something more, something real, I will spend every moment of the rest of our lives proving to Kieran that I deserve his forgiveness, that I will be the best damn partner he could ever imagine.
I will spend every moment trying to make him as happy as he’s making me right now.
He lets out another moan from deep in his throat and I can’t ignore my aching cock for any longer.
I let go of my hold on him while maintaining the kiss, moving to take off his pants as quickly as I can.
As soon as he realizes what I’m doing, his hands are racing to undo mine, and in record time, we both have our pants and underwear shoved down our thighs so that our straining erections can line up with nothing between them.
Kieran pulls back and I shift to leave sloppy kisses down his neck, sucking hard when I remember the hickey that led to one of our first hookups all of those years ago.
I want to cover him in my marks. I want him to always think of me when he looks in the mirror and sees the evidence of my feelings for him.
He pulls me away for a moment so that he can spit onto my dick, and if I wasn’t already leaking from everything else that’s happening, I’m sure that image would have done it.
I take a moment to line up our cocks between us before wrapping my hand around us both.
I add my own spit to the mix before using it to jerk us both off together in my large hand, loving the feel of his dick rubbing against my own.
We both stare at the visual of our cocks moving together in my fist for a moment before we seem to remember what we were doing at the same time, snapping our gazes back up to each other’s swollen lips.
With my hand occupied, Kieran brings his back up to my hair, tugging my face to his, and resumes kissing me like his life depends on it.
I feel like I could already come. My body is on fire from how hot making out with him is.
Add in my bare cock rubbing against his in my tight fist, and I’m struggling to hold off at all.
He’s shifting his hips with my movements, fucking up into my fist, rubbing against my shaft in a way that’s completely intoxicating.
And I know I won’t last.
I wrap my other hand around his body, running my finger down his crease until I can tease his hole.
He lets out a filthy moan when I do, so I increase my movements and do it again.
Kieran lets out a strained cry as his cock jerks in my grip and it sends me immediately over the edge following him.
That moment of bliss seems to stretch on and on as I work us through our orgasms, only stopping when he swats my hand away.
We both take a step back, and I try to commit this moment to memory. Kieran looks completely wrecked, lips swollen, cheeks flushed, his makeup smeared and his hair pointing in all different directions.
He’s beautiful, and perfect, and mine.
“Well, tonight has been full of surprises,” he chuckles, moving to wet some paper towels for us to get cleaned up.
“I love surprises,” I add with a laugh.
I really hope we’re not done surprising each other.