Chapter 35
HARPER
New Year’s Eve.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kat asks.
“I’m fine, honestly. I just fancied a quiet night.”
“Harps, it’s halfway through the day for you. Surely, you’re doing something tonight? You love New Year’s Eve.”
“Keeping my head down, remember? Anyway. I’ve been invited to a party. I’m just not feeling it.”
“Now I know something’s wrong.”
“No, that was the old me. What you’re experiencing is the new and improved version. Brooke has been good for me, showing me that I prefer my own company to other people’s.”
“There are too many changes, little sis. I’m worried.”
That’s not entirely true. I’ve always been a bit of a loner, preferring to keep my counsel. However, since Dad died, the voices and the guilt have made my head an unfriendly place to be.
I chuckle. “Is there a time when you haven’t worried about me? Even as a little girl, you would jump every time I got the slightest scratch.”
“Which was all the time, if I remember correctly, as you tried to keep up with the boys.”
“Exactly. I’ve never been a shrinking violet. More the rough-and-tumble, tree-climbing type of girl.”
“I think they’re called tomboys,” Caleb shouts from the background. “Hey, Harps, Happy New Year, little sis.”
“Same back to you, you clown.”
“Pen and Elijah want to speak to you,” Kat says. “Love you, little sis. Stay safe.”
“Love you too, Kitty-Kat.”
“Hey, Harper,” Pen says, coming on the line.
“Hey, Pen. How are you doing? I hope you’re keeping my big brother in line?”
“Of course. That’s one of the reasons we wanted to talk to you.”
“You’re getting married?” I ask, my heart hammering in my chest.
This is the best news. I love Pen. She’s been like an adopted sister to me.
She and Kat have always taken on my brothers whenever they forgot I was seven years their junior.
She’s also been my style icon. I’ve spent the past few years modelling myself on her and her take-no-shit attitude, wearing it like armour.
She’s always understood and supported me from the sidelines when everyone else saw only rebellion.
“Not quite,” she says.
“Although we will be as soon as the stubborn woman agrees,” Elijah says with a harrumph.
I chuckle.
“We’re pregnant,” Pen announces.
“Pen,” I squeal. “I can’t believe it.”
“Neither can I,” she says.
“How long?”
“I found out just after you left. I’ve not wanted to jinx it,” she says.
After I left. Eleven weeks ago.
“I’m so happy for you. I wish I were there to give you a big hug,” I say, swallowing against the lump forming in my throat. I don’t need to be emotional around them and have them worry about me.
“We’ll get you home soon,” Pen says.
“I can’t believe I’m going to be an aunty again. The Frazer brood is really growing.”
I don’t even ask how Lottie’s taking the news. I know my niece. She’ll be ecstatic. She loves Pen with all her heart. She was over the moon when she found out her godmother and father were together.
“Hello, darling,” Mum says.
“Hey, Mum. How are you?”
“Missing you,” she says, her voice sad. It’s been that way for months now. “It’s simply not the same.”
“Hey, it won’t be forever. And I had a great Christmas with Sophia and her family. I think I’ve introduced a new Christmas tradition for them.”
“Let me guess, table presents? They always were your favourite.”
“True,” I say. “I decided that if I couldn’t be with all of you, I’d bring something of you to me.”
“Your Christmas presents are here, ready and waiting for you.”
“I know. Thank you. I love you, Mum.”
“Love you too, darling.”
“Hey, little sis.” It’s Gabe who grabs the phone next. “How are you really doing?”
“Hanging in there.” No point in lying to Gabe, he always sees straight through me.
“Still an adventure?”
I grin. “In actual fact, it is. I’m missing you all like crazy, but Brooke is also having a great time. I’m learning loads of new skills and have a front-row seat to the inner workings of a fashion house.”
“Will you still be pursuing fashion when you come back?”
“I think I will,” I say with confidence. “I’ll be looking for investors, of course.”
Gabe chuckles.
“You can count us in,” Leah says. “I’ll put you in touch with Chloe. Her brand is taking off.”
“Thank you, Leah,” I say. “How are you feeling?”
“Like an overinflated balloon, that’s ready to pop,” she says with a chuckle.
“I bet you’re still beautiful. You’re growing two little humans. How amazing is that?”
“Diana! No!”
A yell goes up from somewhere in the background, followed by childish giggles.
“That bloody dog.” Gabe huffs.
There’s a lot of scrambling and cussing.
“I’ll let you go. It sounds like you have your hands full,” I say.
“Sorry, Harps, Diana has run off with Callum’s sandwich, although I wonder, looking at my son, whether it was stolen or given.”
“Maybe fifty-fifty, knowing him,” I say. “Love to you all, take care.”
“Love you too.”
The line goes dead, my heart sinking as it always does after I’ve spoken to them.
* * *
Sophia rings a couple of hours later, and I put my college drama skills to the test.
“I’m sorry, Sophia,” I say, croaking into the phone. “I have a sore throat. I think I’m developing a fever. I’m going hot and cold. I really don’t…”
“That’s fine, darling, you rest up. Gabbi will be disappointed. She heads home tomorrow and was looking forward to seeing you before you leave, but sick is sick,” Sophia says, her tone softening.
“Thank you for understanding.”
“Wrap up warm and drink lots of honey and lemon in hot water.”
“You sound like Mum.” I chuckle, giving a little cough for added effect.
“We come from the same mould.”
“Happy New Year, Sophia.”
“You too, Brooke.”
She hangs up, and I sink back onto the sofa, pulling up my throw and flicking the television on. Today is a pyjama day. For the first time in twenty-four years, I won’t be attending some kind of New Year party.
My phone pings.
GABBI:
I can’t believe you’re standing me up.
ME:
Sorry, hon. You’ll just have to have fun without me.
GABBI:
With all the crusties due to turn up. Please!
ME:
You’ll be fine. Enzo will keep you company. He seems to have got dodging down to a fine art.
GABBI:
He’s already escaped back to London. Some emergency.
ME:
You can always message me.
GABBI:
Don’t. I may take you up on that. Oh goodie, all Alex’s friends have just turned up.
ME:
Behave yourself.
She told me how she likes to wind them up every year and had been looking forward to having me as her wingwoman.
GABBI:
Of course. I’ll only torture them for a bit.
I can almost hear her laughing.
GABBI:
Better go. You rest up.
I’m feeling guilty for letting her down, but the thought of coming face to face with Alex right now is more than I can handle, especially in front of his family.
It will be bad enough in two days when I’m back at work.
That kiss, and his apology when we both know it was me who kissed him, is all I’ve been able to think about.
Ground open up and swallow me. What the hell was I thinking?
He’s so far out of my league.
Well, that’s not technically true, but he is so far out of Brooke’s league, and she’s not even real.
Even if I wanted to pursue something, I couldn’t.
Everything about my life since I met him has been based on a lie.
I could tell him, admit everything, but Sophia has been so good to me, has begged me not to damage her relationship with her son, and I know there’s tension between them.
And the last thing I want to do is cause further issues.
Most of all, I know Alex will never be able to trust me again.
I drop my head into my hands.
Come on, The Seamstress, you need to work your magic, get me out of here.
My phone pings again. Alex’s name flashes up.
I groan.
ALEX:
You’re not coming?
ME:
I’ve picked up some bug that’s going around.
ALEX:
Are you avoiding me?
Whatever gave you that idea?
I roll my eyes.
ME:
No, I’m sick.
ALEX:
As long as you are.
ME:
You’re wishing me sick?
ALEX:
That’s not what I meant, and you know it.
ME:
Sounded like it.
ALEX:
Go back to bed and drink hot lemon and honey.
ME:
You sound like your mother.
ALEX:
Heaven help me. I’ll see you on Monday.
ME:
You will.
ALEX:
Only if you’re better.
Guilt hits me. When will this end? I hardly recognise myself. What’s even real anymore? I don’t even know if I can trust my judgement.
ME:
Only if I’m better.
Which, of course, I know I will be. But I can’t hide from him forever.
ALEX:
Happy New Year, Brooke.
ME:
Happy New Year to you too.
I throw myself back onto the sofa and stare up at the ceiling.
I’ve got it bad. The man’s got me tied up in knots with all his broody, no-nonsense charm.
Not to mention the fact he’s tall, dark, and disgustingly handsome.
Now he’s messaging me? Checking I’m okay.
Or is he scared I might run to HR and tell the world we kissed?
Not bloody likely. He won’t look like the desperate one. That would be me.
I’m in trouble. I haven’t slept properly since Christmas night. After I finally got into bed, I tossed and turned, only to wake in the throes of a powerful orgasm, my core contracting violently after dreaming about… oh boy!
The feel of his cock beneath my thigh when he pulled me into his lap.
My body pulses every time I think about it.
His mouth on mine. Only in my dream, I didn’t pull away and he didn’t stop.
In my dream, his lips travelled down my body, his tongue and fingers doing wicked things to my nipples and then my pussy.
I straddled his lap before he pushed up my dress and thrust into me hard and fast.
I close my eyes and wait for my body to come back down to earth.
On Monday, I must face him. Look into those enormous blue eyes, stare at his full lips, knowing exactly how they taste.
Shit! Get a grip, Harper! Brooke! Whichever one of you is lusting after him.
It was a dream.
So now I’ve lied… again.
Because you’re a chicken…
No shit… Absolutely, I am!
One who’s supposed to be keeping her head down and staying off everyone’s radar. Not kissing her boss after Christmas dinner, when he’s just broken up with his girlfriend.
Where’s the girl code in that?
I slap my forehead with the palm of my hand.
And after a week of hiding out in my apartment, I’m in serious need of company.
There’s only so much diamond art and sketching one person can do.
Thank goodness for night school and the starter pack they sent me.
At least they’ve given me something to focus on.
With classes starting on Thursday, the course has prompted me to open my sketchbook and revisit some of my old designs.
But first things first… navigating work.