Chapter 78
ALEX
Caleb and April’s house is stunning, or at least will be when all the renovations are complete. Apparently, the builders are on holiday, so we have the place to ourselves. Harper decided she wanted to be away from her siblings so we could talk.
I’m apprehensive. We spoke, and they seemed to accept me, but there are aspects of our relationship they may decide they don’t want for their younger sister.
The front door is open when I arrive, so I knock and enter.
Harper is inside, staring up at the mezzanine balcony and sweeping staircase.
“It’s going to be beautiful when it’s finished,” she says, turning to face me with a smile. “It existed only on a piece of paper when I left. So much has changed.”
Her tone is wistful, but I can sense her underlying pain.
I move to stand next to her. My heart is speeding up.
“Harper?”
She slides her hand into mine, interlacing our fingers.
“I don’t know what the future holds. I should have trusted in us enough to tell you the truth. I’m sorry, Alex.” She pauses.
I take her other hand in mine and stare down at the woman I love. A woman I don’t want to live without.
“You need to stop apologising. I get it. Do I like the fact that we had to meet under these circumstances? Hell no, but that has nothing to do with you or my feelings.”
She inclines her head, her eyes scanning my face.
I let go of her hand and slide mine into her hair, dropping my forehead to hers.
“We deserve to see where this thing between us leads. I’m fed up with fighting what I feel when I’m around you. When I said ‘I love you’ yesterday, I meant it. But I know a lasting relationship requires more than just feelings. It’s going to take time as we get to know each other with no barriers.”
She nods and smiles. I rub my thumb over her cheek, pleased to see she looks less pale today. Being around her family is clearly good for her health. Something twists in my gut. Can I take her away from those she loves the most in the world and ask her to come with me?
“How are you feeling today?”
She places a hand over her stomach, moving mine to cover hers.
“Nauseous, but it’s more of a sensation than an actual need to be sick, thank goodness.”
I bend and place my lips against hers. She kisses me back, and something expands in my chest. When she finally pulls away, she looks up at me.
“If we do this, there needs to be transparency between us. I promise no more secrets, and I want you to do the same.”
“Done,” I say.
“I haven’t finished yet. I need autonomy. I want control over my life, Alex. I want the right to return to the UK and my family with our child if things don’t work out between us.”
My pulse kicks.
Is she saying what I think she’s saying?
“I’ll never stop you from seeing our child, but I’m not being stranded in a country that’s not my home because I gave our relationship a chance.”
“Done,” I say. “Does this mean—”
“I know it’s impossible for you to leave the US, and for us to stand a chance, one of us needs to compromise. I’m happy for that to be me. It’s where we met after all. I would also like to continue working. I love St Clair.”
I stare at her, not quite believing what I’m hearing.
“I thought you’d want to stay here with your family.”
She grins, her eyes twinkling. “I love my family, but I also loved the freedom I had in New York. I know that might change now my identity has come out, but being Brooke showed me what I can be. The Frazers are not a household name in the US, so I should be able to live a normal life.”
I pull her against me when she places a hand on my chest.
“And I won’t marry you,” she says, knocking the wind out of my sails. “I’ve seen first-hand what a baby and a marriage can do to a couple. I’m not willing to do that to either you, me or our child. If we stay together, we do it by choice, not because we’re forced into it.”
I stare at her for a moment, my stomach clenching. I have never wanted anything more than to make this woman my wife, but I also understand where she’s coming from.
“Deal. If that’s the way you want it, I’m not going to protest. With your family connections, I can’t imagine you’ll have trouble obtaining a new work permit and visa,” I say, hoping I’m right.
Green cards are like gold dust. It may help if our child is born a US citizen, but both Harper and I were born in the UK. A problem for another day.
“I only have one stipulation. If you ever change your mind and decide you would like to marry me, I want you to agree that you’ll propose to me.”
“Deal,” she says with a grin.
It’s only then that I realise, with her hair and makeup, she looks like the Harper I knew as Brooke. Only her eyes are chocolate brown.
“You changed your hair colour back?” I say, running some of the burgundy strands through my fingers.
“If it’s possible, I want to return to work as Brooke and resume our life there, no external pressures, no salacious gossip, at least for as long as possible.”
“The company NDA can cover that. I think everyone will be happy to keep your secret.”
I pull her into my arms, happy when she comes willingly.
“Will you at least move in with me? You can sleep in a different room. I’m not going to put pressure on you until you’re ready, but at least my apartment is safe. You won’t have any fear of being hounded, especially as you won’t have Mitch and Dan across the hall.”
“I will,” she says, looking up at me. “I’m not making false promises as I don’t know what’s going to happen.
But if we’re really going to do this, we need to do it properly.
I know the stress you were under because of the espionage, and I’m also at fault because I wasn’t transparent with you.
I should never have kept night school a secret.
It was stupid, but my life was crazy. Secrets have a way of coming back to bite you in the arse.
Believe me when I say, my family have enough experience to last several lifetimes.
If I come back, I want to give us a real go. ”
My lips descend on hers, and it’s like coming home. I deepen our kiss before pulling back and resting my forehead against hers.
“Let’s go and tell my family,” she says. “I can’t promise they’re going to be very happy, and all those spare rooms of yours are likely to be full over the next couple of months, or they may stay at the Frazer Hotel, New York.”
“If they want to come and stay with us, they’ll be more than welcome. Although I’m not sure how Elijah is going to take the news.”
“He’s a pussycat beneath it all,” she says with a laugh. “And I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s him who told me to follow my heart.”
“Then remind me to thank him.”