Chapter 11
‘Mmm, smells great.’ Ella sniffed the garlic-scented air as she went into the kitchen that evening.
Roly turned from the hob. ‘Perfect timing. It’s just ready.’
‘You don’t drain the pasta,’ she noted approvingly, looking over his shoulder as he dragged pasta from the pot straight into the Bolognese sauce.
‘Hey, I’m not a savage. My mum taught me to treat pasta with respect. Pasta, women and my elders. But mostly pasta.’
‘You’re a credit to her. Anything I can do?’
‘You could just grab the garlic bread from the oven.’
‘There’s garlic bread too?’ Ella beamed.
‘Yeah, I thought we should go all out for our final binge.’
‘I like your thinking.’
She took the garlic bread out of the oven and followed Roly to the table, which was set for two. She was surprised to see an open bottle of wine standing in the centre.
‘Dig in,’ Roly said as he put the steaming bowl of pasta on the table and sat beside her. ‘The wine’s for you, obviously. You drink red, right?’
‘Yes. Thanks. But you really shouldn’t have.’ She felt awkward. Obviously Roly’s addiction problems were no secret, but it still somehow felt like an invasion of his privacy that she knew this about him.
He shrugged. ‘No biggie. I’m trying to be one of the good guys, remember?’ He picked up the bottle and poured her a glass.
‘Well, it’s really nice of you. But I’m fine with not drinking.’
‘It doesn’t bother me, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m okay with people drinking around me.’
‘Are you sure? I’d hate to make you uncomfortable.’
‘Totally. What makes me feel awkward as fuck is when people tiptoe around me like I’m some kind of loose cannon who’s going to fall off the wagon at the mere mention of alcohol.’
‘Okay, noted. No tiptoeing.’ Ella had to admit, she was really glad she could have wine if this meal was going to be her last big blow-out for a while. She took a sip. It was a deep, rich shiraz at a perfect temperature. ‘This is lovely. Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘But just so you know, I’ll be cutting down on alcohol anyway if I’m trying to lose weight,’ she said, winding spaghetti onto her fork. ‘Nothing to do with you, I promise.’
He nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘This is delicious. You can cook, then.’
‘Yeah – basic stuff anyway. I used to be in charge of dinner sometimes when Mum was working and I’d get home before her.’
‘Is she a good cook?’
‘Yeah, but baking’s really her thing. She makes amazing cakes. She even tried to do it as a business once, but it was too hard to make money.’
‘What does she do?’
‘She’s a medical secretary – works for an orthopaedic surgeon. She only does a couple of days a week now. How about yours?’
‘She was a teacher. She doesn’t work now, though.
She retired early.’ It struck her how strange it was to be sitting here chatting with Roly about their families and backgrounds.
They’d known each other for years, but their time together had always been fleeting, and it took place in bars, hotel rooms and restaurants, backstage at stadiums, at parties in other people’s houses…
never anywhere that constituted home for either of them.
This felt different, domestic. It was nice.
* * *
‘Okay, ready to do some planning?’ They’d cleared the table after dinner and Ella had produced a couple of A4 pads and pens.
He smiled at her, shaking his head. ‘You’re such a nerd.’ He pulled a notepad in front of him and picked up a pen. ‘Okay, what are we doing exactly?’
‘First we have to set our goals. Then we can make an action plan for working towards them. So think about what your best life looks like and write down everything you want to achieve, big or small.’
‘Okay.’ Roly leaned forward and began writing.
Ella picked up her pen and tapped it against the table as she thought. She glanced over at what Roly was writing.
‘Hey, no cogging!’ He leaned forward, curling an arm around his sheet of paper, as if they were back in school and she was trying to copy his test.
‘Sorry.’ She turned her attention back to her own notepad.
‘Done!’ Roly said seconds later.
‘Already?’
‘Yeah.’ He grinned, sitting back and slid his pad across to her.
Roly’s list was concise. It just had five goals:
Get fit
Lose weight
Famous
Rich
Pippa
‘Pippa? Seriously?’
‘What?’
‘I just didn’t think you’d want her back, that’s all.’ She’d spoken without thinking, not masking her surprise, and she blushed when she realised how blunt she sounded.
‘Why wouldn’t I?’
‘Well, you said she was an asshole.’
He shrugged. ‘The heart wants what it wants.’
‘And your heart wants an asshole.’
Roly laughed. ‘I guess it does.’
‘These goals are all a bit vague. You need to be more specific. Like, what does “get fit” mean? How much weight do you want to lose? Set definite targets.’
‘Okay. What have you got, smarty pants?’ He glanced across at her page, which was blank.
‘I was still thinking.’
‘You can copy me if you want. I won’t tell. I mean, we both basically want the same things, don’t we?’
‘Broadly, I suppose. I don’t want to be rich though, just solvent. And I definitely don’t want to be famous.’
‘But you want to get your career back on track, right? Go back to college, do your PhD, become a hot-shot professor?’
‘Yeah… not in the short term, though. At the moment I’m focusing more on my financial goals – getting out of debt and building up some savings.’
‘Well, we both want to get fit and lose weight.’
‘Yeah.’ Besides that she wanted to overhaul her whole image – buy new clothes, do something different with her hair, maybe invest in some makeup.
It was very superficial, but it would be nice to focus a little on trivial things.
It was a luxury she hadn’t been able to afford in a long time.
Besides, it was all straightforward, easily achievable stuff, so she could tick off some smaller goals while she built up to the big ones.
‘Which brings us to this.’ He tapped the last item on his list.
‘Yeah, I definitely don’t want to get with Pippa.’
‘What about sex, though?’ He wiggled his eyebrows, grinning.
She shrugged. ‘I don’t think I have the energy for dating right now on top of everything else.’
‘Come on! You can’t give up on sex at your age!’
‘I’m not. But it’s not top of my priorities at the moment either. I’m taking it all slowly – baby steps. Besides, I’ve kind of got used to celibacy at this stage.’
‘Well, that’s just tragic. All the more reason to get back in the game. The longer you leave it, the harder it’ll be – as the bishop said to the actress,’ he added with a snigger. ‘Besides, what’s the point in getting all fit if no one’s going to see you naked?’
‘I’m doing it for myself,’ Ella said primly.
‘How about your ex?’
‘Andrew?’
‘Yeah. If you went out with him, it wouldn’t be like dating someone new. What’s he doing now? Is he with anyone?’
‘Not as far as I know. He was, but they split up a few months ago. He doesn’t update his Facebook a lot, though, so I don’t know for sure.’
‘No harm in finding out. You did say it was the happiest time of your life when you were with him.’
‘But that was ages ago. We’ve moved on. Well,’ she said with a little laugh, ‘he’s moved on. I more stayed put.’
‘Still, you should look him up at least – see if you still like him.’
‘What if he is with someone and just hasn’t put it on Facebook yet?’
Roly shrugged. ‘What have you got to lose? Just keep it casual, meet up as friends and see where it goes.’
Ella sipped her wine. Maybe he was right.
It would be less of a slog than trying to meet someone new.
The thought of putting herself through all the hassle and stress of dating filled her with horror.
Then again, maybe it wouldn’t be the best idea to get back with her ex just because it was less bother. ‘I’ll think about it.’
‘Anyway,’ she said, ‘once we have our main goals refined, we need to plan actionable steps we can take for achieving them. So fitness, for example – what are we going to do to lose weight and get fit?’
‘Diet and exercise.’
‘Right, but how much exercise, and what sort? What kind of diet?’
‘Well… we could join a gym, and go on one of those diets where you replace meals with drinks?’
Ella shook her head. ‘We can’t afford that. We need to bootstrap this if we want to achieve our financial goals. Those fad diets aren’t good for you anyway. We could go running. That doesn’t cost anything.’
‘I thought you were anti-running.’
‘I wouldn’t mind trying it, if we start off slow. We could do “Couch to 5K”?’
Roly pulled a face. ‘Isn’t that, like, for old ladies?’
‘No.’ Ella frowned.
‘I’m pretty sure my nan does it.’
‘Well, just because your nan does it, doesn’t mean it’s only for old ladies. All sorts of people do it. And it’s free, so we might as well give it a go.’
He nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘And we could do workouts at home. My mum has some DVDs we can borrow.’
‘DVDs? That’s old school. So we’d be working out… here? Together?’
‘What’s wrong with that? Afraid I won’t respect you after I’ve seen you leaping around the living room in Lycra?’
‘Dream on! I am not wearing Lycra.’
Ella grinned. ‘Well, I’ll do them anyway. You don’t have to join in. I know she’s got Davina McCall and “The Shred”—’
‘“The Shred”? My mum definitely does that.’
‘Maybe she’d like to join us?’ Ella said with a smirk, and Roly shuddered. ‘There are lots of free workouts online too. Is Joe Wicks man enough for you?’
‘My mum loves him.’
‘He’s got some good recipes too.’
Roly groaned. ‘Oh God, are we going to have to cook all the time?’
‘It won’t be so bad. We can take turns. And we could do intermittent fasting. That’s meant to be really good for you, and it’d save calories, time and money.’
‘The triple whammy.’
‘Speaking of money, are you signing on?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Signing on – you know, for benefit.’
‘You mean like… the dole?’
‘Social welfare.’
‘No. I doubt I qualify for that.’
‘I’m pretty sure you would. You should apply for Jobseeker’s.’
‘Jobseeker’s?’ He screwed up his face. ‘That definitely doesn’t sound like something I’d qualify for.’
‘Why not?’