5. Dan
CHAPTER 5
DAN
My stupid heart has been doing weird things at the sight of Keira. Weird things that I know I can’t entertain, not if she’s married with kids.
Married with kids.
The thought hits me in the solar plexus like a train heading at high speed into a wall.
Could it be true?
I need to look at the evidence. Be level-headed about this. She’s here with two kids, one of whom held her hand and blamed her for not allowing him to take hockey classes. Benny’s six and a half and his sister looks to be about eight, nine tops. Keira would have had to have gotten married and had those kids pretty dang fast after I left town, but it’s possible. Then there’s the fact the boy—Benny—shares Keira’s blonde hair and gray-blue eyes, the eyes I remember so clearly, gazing into, feeling as though my heart would burst with love for this girl on the precipice of womanhood.
The girl I had wanted to be with forever.
But surely, I would have heard about it if she’d gotten married and had kids? Someone would have told me. Mom, Dad, Emmy? But then I never raised Keira with any of them, which maybe they took as a sign that I didn’t want to know about her. Maybe in doing so, they thought I was protecting myself?
And you know what? They would have been right.
But why wouldn’t the news about Keira having kids have gotten back to me? It’s not like the townsfolk around here don’t love to gossip, least of all Mary-Ellen McClusky, the town gossip since I was a kid. I saw her on a trip to the market to pick up some groceries for my parents last time I was in town. She hadn’t even mentioned Keira, much less Keira’s marital status.
Despite not having heard a word, everything points to yes. I admit, I scanned her left hand for a ring and didn’t find one. Maybe she doesn’t like to wear a ring? Maybe it’s in the shop, getting repaired? And besides, a couple of living, breathing, small humans trump a ring, anyway.
A lump forms in my throat.
Of all the scenarios I thought could play out when I saw my high school girl for the first time since we broke up, not once did it occur to me that she might be in love with someone else. That she might have fallen in love and be married with kids. That she’d well and truly moved on from me.
What was I thinking? Of course she’s moved on. It’s been ten years! Of all people, I know what a truly amazing person Keira Johnson is. Of course she’s been snapped up by some guy, some guy I’m having seriously negative feelings about, right about now.
All this time I’ve been comparing every woman I meet with her and seeing them come up short, and she’s moved on, gotten married, and become a mom.
I’m an idiot. A total idiot.
As Scotty outlines some of his ideas for training, due to start up in a couple days, I steal a glance at her. She’s still as beautiful as she was back in high school—only more so. Not that I thought that was possible. Back then, she was easily the most beautiful girl in town. Her face has matured: her once plump face now less so, showing her high cheekbones. Her eyes are still the same gray-blue, her lips still full and luscious. Her blonde hair is cut shorter than it was when she was seventeen, falling softly just below her shoulders, framing her face.
She’s the kind of woman you can’t help but notice, but who you know isn’t looking for attention.
We were opposites back in high school, her and me. I was the jock, always at practice, always with my teammates, playing games, hanging out. She was more of a loner, with just a few close friends, but a whole lot more studious than me. Some people called her a nerd back then, but they didn’t know her. Not the real her. Sure, she liked books, and she did great at school, but there is so much more to her than just being bookish and smart. She always saw the best in people. She was kind, even to the people who labelled her, who questioning why a popular jock like me would go for a girl like her. Why not a cheerleader type?
I knew why.
Because they weren’t Keira.
“Roberts? You with me?”
I pull my attention back to the two guys I’m standing with.
“Yeah. Just lost in some memories, I guess,” I tell them.
Scotty glances at Keira. She’s got her nose buried in her book again and doesn’t look up. “An old girlfriend or something?” he asks.
How the heck did he guess that ?
Who am I kidding? I must have it written all over my dang face.
She’s the one I could never forget.
I clear my throat. “It was a long time ago.”
Scotty smirks. “She’s pretty. Bookish, by the looks, but then you know what they say: opposites attract.”
“She’s smart. Smarter than me, anyways,” I reply.
Scotty grins. “I always say when it comes to exes, it’s best not to be an archaeologist.”
I regard him quizzically. “Meaning?”
“Don’t dig up the past.” He grins at me as though his total dad joke was somehow funny.
“Archaeologist. Dig. I get it,” I reply. It might not be funny, but this guy is one of my coaches for the next six weeks. I always find with coaches that it pays to get on their good side.
“You played for the Peaks, right?” I ask, purposefully moving the focus away from me and Keira.
Not that there is a me and Keira anymore. Or ever will be, by the looks of things.
I try not to let that idea take hold. I mean, I don’t know for sure she’s a mom or even married.
There’s still hope.
“Yeah, it’s been a while. I’m a coach these days, but I still like to get out there on the ice.” He regards the rink with a look that can only be described as wistful, and I get the feeling he misses the game.
“It must be weird to come back to your hometown to play. I bet it brings back some memories,” Troy says. “My wife Kelly and I are relatively new to the area. Did you play at this rink a lot?”
Memories of me playing in high school wash over me, of the wins and losses, the highs and lows, of Keira always in the stands, cheering me on. Wearing my jersey.
Why are all roads leading back to her?
“Only every practice and half the games. I practically grew up on this ice,” I reply.
“I bet you did,” Troy says. “It’ll be amazing for the townspeople to see you out on that ice again. I got some PT lined up for your wrist, as promised.”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah, I heard about that. How is it?” Scotty asks.
“It’s improving,” I reply.
“Do you think you’ll be good for the first game in about a month?” Scotty asks.
“I sure plan to be. That’s why I’m here,” I reply. “Hey, thanks for smoothing things over with the team,” I say to Troy. He had spoken with the Blizzard’s management, getting them to agree to release me to play the charity games for the Ice Breakers.
“My pleasure. We’re just glad we could make it happen. These games mean a lot to the town, and to the kids at the Happy Horizons Ranch.”
I nod. “It’s an honor to be here, captaining the team for the cause.”
Movement in my peripheral vision grabs my attention. I look over to see Benny holding a hockey stick that’s almost twice the length of him, pushing an imaginary puck around the floor. He’s concentrating hard, as though he were on the ice, playing on a team.
I smile as an idea begins to form in my mind. He seems like a good kid, and he wants to learn how to play hockey. Sure, he’s only six and a half, but that’s not too young to start. Maybe I could give the kid a lesson or two? I glance over at Keira once more and to my surprise, I catch her watching me. Quickly, she averts her gaze, pulls up her hood, and immediately concentrates back on her book .
She may have moved on, but I could at least do something nice for her kid.
Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll make Benny’s day and offer to give him a few lessons. And, if by some wild chance Keira is no longer married to the father of her kids? Well, hope springs eternal. Not for her husband, of course—but for me.
“Cooper Montgomery is due here any minute,” Troy says, pulling my attention back to the guys. “He wanted to get the feel for the place before the first practice. Or at least, that’s what his publicist told me. Do you want to join? Just don’t go compromising that wrist.”
I gesture at my bag with my skates, pads, and sticks. Anything to get my mind from Keira. “Ready and willing,” I say with a smile. “I’ve played against Cooper a few times in the past. He’s a good player. But tell me one thing, does the guy ever smile?”
Both Scotty and Troy laugh.
“He’s not known for his easy charm, but he’s a solid right wing. He’ll give you a run for your money on the ice, that’s for sure,” Scotty says. He focuses on something over my shoulder. “Speak of the devil. Cooper! Over here!”
A big guy who bears more than a passing resemblance to Travis Kelce trudges toward us, a thunderous dark cloud sparking above his head.
Cooper Montgomery.
“Cooper!” Troy exclaims, as he pumps his hand. “It’s great to be working with you.”
“It’s good to be here,” he replies, his positive words in stark contrast with the scowl on his face.
“Hey,” I say, giving him a fist bump. “It’s great to have you on the team. It’ll make a nice difference from beating you in the League.”
It’s a facetious comment, and I flash him a grin as I say it.
But Cooper simply continues to scowl at me. “Yeah, something like that,” he replies .
“Did you bring your gear?” Scotty asks him.
Wordlessly, he pulls his bag from over one of his shoulders.
“How about you guys head into the locker room and I’ll meet you on the ice,” Scotty says.
“You’re gonna skate with us, Coach?” I ask.
“You know me. Frustrated player,” he replies with a laugh.
“Come with me, guys. I’ll show you to the locker room,” Troy says as he turns on his heel.
I shoot Keira one final look before I turn to walk away. She’s still got her head buried in her book, her hood up, pulling off an Obi-Wan impersonation.
When she looks up again, my chest is instantly filled with exhilaration. But she’s not looking at me. She’s watching her daughter’s lesson.
Her daughter.
That exhilaration wooshes right out of me.
As I walk away, I can’t help the words from ringing in my brain. I missed my chance with the only woman I’ve loved.