6. Keira
CHAPTER 6
KEIRA
Walking into the Falling for Books bookshop is like stepping into another world. It smells like two of my favorite things: books and coffee. The shelves are stacked with all kinds of books, from literary fiction to thrillers to romance. There’s a low hum of people chatting, and the sound of pages being flipped. This place is filled with a bunch of stories waiting to be read. An escape from reality.
And right now, escaping my reality is more than a little appealing.
Why does Dan have to look even better than I remember? He looks better than the pictures I see of him online. Better than when I watch him play for the Chicago Blizzard on TV; and oh my, does he look good when he plays on TV.
And the way he looked at me at the arena? His eyes were soft, his lips quirking into an easy smile, showcasing that old confident Dan Roberts charm I knew so well. I may have seen countless images of him over the years, but they’re nothing in comparison with the real thing.
The memory of how I hid from him squeezes my belly.
I think everyone could agree that it wasn’t my best move, dropping to the floor and pretending I wasn’t there. But everyone could see me, including the last person I would ever want to catch me doing something quite so asinine.
But if my seeing Dan has tilted my world on its axis, forcing me to dive for cover—literally—for him, it seems as though I’m just another acquaintance. Someone from his past who holds little relevance in his world today. He was so relaxed, so confident, like seeing me was no big deal at all for him.
I get it. It shouldn’t be a big deal. We broke up a lifetime ago. He’s moved on. He’s got his big career and probably a super confident and gorgeous girlfriend who doesn’t do dumb things like try to hide behind the bleachers, clasping onto her cinnamon roll.
I blow out a breath in a vain attempt to calm myself. But abasement like that burns hot, and I know my cheeks are as red as my sweater.
The first time I saw Dan I had planned on looking totally poised and ridiculously hot in some gorgeous dress and heels combo, my hair and makeup just so, so that his tongue would hit the ground as I sashayed past him, saying, “Good to see you again, Dan. We must catch up some time,” or some other such breezy, I’m-over-you words.
Clearly, that was not meant to be.
It’s going to be impossible not to see him again. Troy’s brother, Zach Hart, the big billionaire who’s helping to finance the Ice Breakers, has given free tickets to the first game to every family in town, and I know Benny would never speak to me again if I didn’t bring him along to each and every game.
I bite down on my lip.
Who am I kidding? It’s never going to be easy to see Dan, knowing that he’s moved on. I’ll just have to be strong. Show him I’m fine with everything. He has his life and I have mine.
But just as I’ve come to this conclusion, I envision him and a couple of the other guys on the team as they made their way onto the ice following Hannah’s lesson. Wearing Ice Breakers practice jerseys and holding hockey sticks and helmets in their gloved hands, my traitorous heart gave a squeeze.
Great start, Keira.
I spot my college friend, Blair Radcliffe, who I’ve come to meet for coffee at the cute café at the back of the bookshop and wave at her. She waves back, a big grin on her pretty face.
“How’s Heathcliff working out for you this time?” my friend and bookshop manager, Emmy, asks as I walk past the counter, clutching my copy of Wuthering Heights .
Oh, and Emmy is Dan’s sister, too. As the saying goes, you can run but you can’t hide, especially in a small town like Maple Falls. That’s for sure.
An image of Dan holding this very book in his hands flashes before my eyes and I must have a weird look on my face because Emmy adds hurriedly, “I get it. He’s super brooding and intense. Even I can admit that, and I love the guy. I’ve got plenty of recommendations for you if you’re not into the brooding type.”
“It’s not Heathcliff. He’s great. I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now.”
Like your brother.
Emmy’s eyebrows raise. “Everything okay, Kiki?”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I reply with a breezy smile. Or at least I hope it’s breezy because I don’t feel the least bit breezy right now. In fact, I may look like I’ve just eaten a bad burrito.
Emmy was a couple years behind me in high school, and although we’re friends, she has no clue how I still feel about her brother after all this time. Why? Because I should be over it. Any normal, sane person would have moved on a long time ago.
“Have you ... err, seen your brother?” I ask as casually as I can manage.
I can’t help myself. Sue me.
“Dan? Not yet. Why? Is he here in town already?”
“That’s what I heard,” I lie because I really don’t want to go into the whole “stop, drop, and die” incident with Dan’s sister. “I’m here to meet my friend from school, so I’d better go. Great seeing you, though.”
“See you at the first game?”
“Absolutely. Wouldn’t miss it.”
I make my way to the back of the store where I greet Blair with a warm hug. “Girl, it’s so good to see you,” I tell her as we sink into the sofa. “I can’t believe you’re here in my hometown for six whole weeks.”
“It’s all worked out so great: I’m here, all expenses paid, and I get to hang with my college bestie,” she replies with a grin.
“I saw your guy at the arena. He looks super serious.”
“Honey, the guy puts the grump in grumpy,” she replies with a shake of her head. “But I’m representing him, so I gotta take the good with the grump.”
“Lucky you.”
“It’s not so bad. At least he’s yummy to look at. Hey, I ordered you a coffee. I hope you’re still rocking the mocha?”
“Definitely. I can do with all the caffeine and sugar I can get right now, believe me.”
She pulls her brows together. “Let me guess. A certain ex, who also happens to be an NHL star, is back in town?”
My gaze shoots to Emmy who, thankfully, is busy serving another customer and not listening in on our conversation.
“That’s his sister over there,” I say in a hushed tone.
“Seriously? This is a small town. ”
I shake my head at her. “We give Stars Hollow a run for its money, I tell you.”
Being my college roommate, Blair knows all about the Dan and Keira show—and how I never got over him. She was my long-suffering bestie, there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on whenever Dan’s name would come up. And come up it did. Repeatedly. I learned that kind of went with the territory when your ex is some kind of hockey superstar.
When he got drafted to the NHL, our entire town held a party, right here on Maple Road in downtown Maple Falls. All the shops shut for the afternoon, and we had long tables covered in red and white check tablecloths heaped with food, and featuring commentary by every proud man in town grilling burgers and bragging about what part they had to play in Dan’s success.
It was the biggest thing to happen to our town ever , and everywhere I looked, people were wearing Dan’s Chicago Blizzard jersey, talking about him, and showing their pride in his achievements.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud of him, too. But it’s way more complicated for me.
The barista, Neesha, the daughter of one of the farmers’ market stall owners, delivers our coffee, and I introduce Blair before she returns to the counter.
“Do you know everyone in this place?” Blair asks.
I shrug. “Sure.”
“Whoa. That is trippy.” She leans back on the sofa, cradling her coffee in her hands. “Okay. Spill the tea. Have you seen your ex?”
I begin to blush furiously. “Oh, yeah. On Saturday. I kinda embarrassed myself at the ice-skating rink in front of him.”
“Seriously? What happened?” She takes a sip of her coffee. “Not bad.”
“It’s either coffee here or at the bakery. There’s not a lot of choice on the coffee front in this town. Not like in Seattle. We were totally spoiled for choice there, remember, B?”
“No deflecting. Tell me your embarrassing story.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yup.”
“I saw him and made a snap decision to … hide,” I tell her reluctantly.
“As in rush to the ladies’?”
I press my lips together and slowly shake my head. “I dropped to the ground in the bleachers. I thought I could hide.”
As I utter the words, I can barely believe I did it myself.
“You did what ?” She tries to keep the grin from forming on her lips.
“I lay down behind the seats, hoping he wouldn’t see me.”
“And did he?”
I twist my mouth. “He kinda helped me up.”
“Oh.” Her nose is scrunched up in secondary embarrassment for me, and I can tell she’s holding back a laugh.
“You can laugh. I know you want to.”
Her shoulders shake as she does just that.
“Got it out of your system now?”
Blair pulls her features into a concerned look. “I’m sorry you felt you had to do that.”
“It was the worst, B. Me, a grown woman, hiding from my ex.”
“Not the reunion meeting you were looking for.”
“Heck, no.”
“Okay. Let’s reframe this.”
“How?”
“You could see it as romantic instead of humiliating,” she offers.
I give her a look. “You’re such a PR person, B.”
“Okay, not romantic, per se, but definitely heroic in a manly, professional athlete kind of way. He saw you lying on the ground and helped you up.” She waggles her brows at me suggestively. “I don’t know about you, Kiki, but I’m picturing the guy in red Lycra and a cape right now.”
I can’t help but giggle at the image, and it ends in a snort.
“Super Dan, hockey god at your service.” She gives a salute.
I shake my head. “Why don’t you live here permanently, B? I could do with having you around more. Lighten the mood about all things Dan-related.”
“I’ll be here ’til after the final game. I am happy to lighten everything for you until then.”
“It’s just … Oh, I don’t know. I guess seeing him again brought back a whole bunch of feelings I had hoped were dead and gone.”
She arches a brow at me. “Dead and gone?” she questions, seeing right through me. Blair’s one of the few people who knows I still have feelings for Dan after all this time. Blair, Ellie, and my sister, Clara.
“Okay, not dead, exactly. More … comfortably asleep.”
“Why don’t you wake up to the hero, then?”
My eyes get huge. “Are you serious right now?” I ask on a chortle. “You know why. He’s got this big, exciting life in the spotlight, with those female fans throwing themselves at him at every game. What do they call them?”
“Puck bunnies.”
“Terrible name.”
She shrugs. “I didn’t make it up.”
“I can’t compete with them. I’m just his high school girlfriend who never did anything with her life.”
She leans toward me. “Babe, you’ve done plenty. Not everyone out there would give up a career to come back and care for their sister and her kids. You’re amazing, Kiki, and don’t you forget it.”
I smile. “You’re the best, B.”
Everyone needs a Blair in their lives.
I blow out a breath. “I have feelings for a guy I broke up with a lifetime ago, who’s not just some regular guy. Oh, no. That would be way too simple. He’s a famous NHL star who lives halfway across the country, who probably hasn’t given me a second thought since the day he left town, and could have any woman he wants.” My shoulders slump. “I’m just going to have to try to avoid him like the plague while he’s here. I guess that’s all I can do.”
“That might be harder than you might think,” she replies, her attention focussed on something behind me.
I turn to see the man himself, right here in the bookshop, his bulky hockey-player frame filling the space. He’s in a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie, looking every inch the off-duty athlete that he is. He’s looking around the shop, as though searching for something or someone, and when his eyes land on me, my belly does a flip any gymnast would be proud of.
He smiles and lifts a hand to wave before he skirts around a couple of customers, heading to the counter to see his sister. He’s accompanied by another big guy, with dark hair and a friendly, handsome face.
Emmy greets her brother with an enthusiastic hug.
Meanwhile, I’m having a minor cardiac arrest.
“You okay there?” Blair asks. “You look like you might want to throw yourself on the ground and hide from the guy again. Which I don’t advise, by the way.”
“I thought instead of that I might finish my coffee and leave,” I reply, draining my cup.
“Kiki, you can’t run away every time you see the guy.”
“Why not? It seems like a totally plausible approach to me.”
Blair gives me a look.
I glance over at Dan and the other guy who are both talking with Emmy. Now is the time to get out of here. I rise to my feet. “Let’s get together again soon, okay?”
“Sure thing,” she replies, not moving an inch.
“Are you coming with me?”
“I’m meeting my client soon down the street, Mr. Grump. But you scamper on like the frightened little mouse you are.” She waggles her fingers for effect.
Blair has always had an acerbic wit, but right now I could do without it.
I collect my purse, put my head down, and rush toward the exit. Just as I think I’m on safe ground, a large, burly figure steps in my path, blocking my exit.
Dan.
“Where are you rushing off to so quickly?” he asks in that smooth-as-butter voice of his.
“Oh, Dan. Hi. I didn’t see you there,” I lie. “Did you come in to see your sister? She’s so great. I love Emmy. And this shop is amazing. I love it here, but then you know I’m a total book nerd. The coffee is good, too. I just met a friend, but now I’ve got to go. Places to see and people to do.”
I’m babbling worse than a brook.
His lips quirk. “Isn’t that ‘places to go and people to see’?”
Dang it!
I shrug nonchalantly. “I think you can say it either way, actually.”
“Well, you’d know. You’ve always been the smart one.”
I slide my gaze to his before I remember how dangerous it is to look into this man’s eyes. I pull my lips into a smile. “I’ll let you catch up with your sister.” I begin to walk around him.
“Actually, I saw Ellie at the arena today. She’s Hannah’s teacher these days, right”
“Yup.”
“She mentioned you like to come to the bookstore sometimes. Since I was coming here to surprise my sister, I was hoping to bump into you, too.”
“Me?” My voice comes out all breathy and full of hope, and I swear my pulse ceases its rhythmic beating for a moment. “What’s up?”
“I need to apologize for the other day.”
On what planet does he need to apologize to me ?
“You do?”
“Yeah. It was clear I put my foot in it with Benny and the whole hockey thing.”
Benny. Right.
“Don’t worry about it,” I reply with a wave of my hand. “Benny’s doing just fine.”
I’m not about to tell Dan we can’t afford for Benny to play ice hockey as well as for Hannah to have figure skating lessons. Ice hockey is not a cheap sport. Not only are there lessons, but it’s all the gear, too. With Clara unable to hold down a job with her health challenges, I’m the sole breadwinner of the household, and although I love my job, it doesn’t exactly provide an NHL star’s level of income. Not even close.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I talked to Ellie about Benny, and she mentioned that there’s a team he could join. But she recommended he have some lessons first.”
I open my mouth to protest, but he keeps talking.
“She also mentioned that Benny is your nephew, not your son.”
My protective shield has been ripped from my hands, leaving me vulnerable. Which is so not where I want to be around this man.
“Oh, you thought that he was my son? How funny,” I say on a laugh.
“I did, actually. Crazy, right?”
“Benny and Hannah are Clara’s kids. I’m their aunt,” I explain, feeling a touch guilty I let him think otherwise. But come on! When it comes to protecting herself, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
His face breaks into a knee-weakening smile, and I dig my nails into my palms to stop myself from doing something I may regret. Something like telling him how I feel about him and throwing myself into his arms and kissing his face off.
Not what I need to be doing right now .
“That’s what Ellie said. She also said that you bring Hannah to all her lessons.”
“Clara can do with the help. She’s a single mom these days.”
A cloud crosses his features. “Real men don’t treat their wives and kids like that, you know. Ellie told me what happened. The guy’s scum.”
“You don’t have to tell me that.”
He pauses for a beat before he says, “You’re a good person. I hope you know that.”
Our gazes lock, and I swear I could get completely lost in the depths of his soft brown eyes.
But I can’t let that happen. It will only lead to heartache. He’s here for six weeks and then he’s gone, back to his big fancy life. And I’ll be left behind here in Maple Falls. Again.
I clear my throat. “They’re great kids.”
“And they’re lucky to have you as their aunt.”
Would you stop with the compliments? My heart can’t take any more!
“The reason I wanted to talk to you is that I’d like to give Benny some hockey lessons. Just to get him started. That way he can get some skills before he tries out for a team.”
Could this guy get any sweeter?
I know how much Benny would love that. Not only would he get to learn some basic hockey moves, but being taught by Dan the Man? He would boast about it for years to come.
“Dan, that’s so kind of you, but we don’t have any of the hockey gear for him.”
“Look, I get a whole bunch of stuff for free. It’s one of the perks of the job, I guess. I can get him some skates, a helmet, a hockey stick, the whole lot.”
“Dan—”
“Let me do this for him, okay? It’s no big deal for me. Really.”
I can’t help but bristle. This might not be a big deal for someone with his kind of cash, but for us, it’s a whole other ball game. “It’s a big deal to me .”
He pulls his lips into a line as he raises one of his big hands in the air. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant that I get this free stuff. Benny needs proper hockey skates, so he doesn’t hurt himself or others. It’s a safety thing.”
“Maybe we’ll get some second-hand hockey skates.”
“Kiki,” he says, his tone intimate, familiar. It does weird things to my heart.
“I guess having the right skates can’t hurt. I’ll talk to Clara about it. You do get them for free, right?”
He grins at me. “I do. Promise.” He places his hand over his chest. “He’s gonna love learning.”
“Oh, I know he will.”
“When could you bring him to the arena? We have practice in the mornings, so I’m free most afternoons other than when we have this big media event. Troy said classes are done by five o’clock most days, and I could have the rink for an hour or so then. Would that work for you?”
I study his face, wondering why he’s offering to do this. I always knew Dan was a stand-up guy. Back in high school, he was never one of those talented athletes who thought a lot of himself, like some of the other guys. He was a quiet achiever, never boasting, never strutting up and down the hall like he owned the place, like some loud jock who rubbed his prowess in people’s faces.
“I’ll have to check with his mom,” I reply, even though I’m the one who keeps the kids’ schedules. I’m trying my best not to fall back in love with him right here among the shelves of books.
A professional hockey player who wants to teach a little boy how to play in his spare time? Dan is yanking on my heartstrings—hard. And the very last thing I need right now is my heartstrings being yanked on by the big NHL star with a glamorous life on the other side of the country.
Dan’s face slides into a grin. “Sure. Of course. Let me know. ”
“Okay. And ... thanks. It’s really kind of you.”
“If he’s half as good a hockey player as his sister is a figure skater, he’ll go far.” He pulls his latest model iPhone from his pocket. “What’s your number?”
“Same as it always was.”
“Then you’ll still have mine, too.”
The fact he’s kept my number all these years makes my breath hitch in my throat. That’s got to mean something, doesn’t it?
I berate myself. I shouldn’t go hoping for anything with Dan, even if he’s being incredibly sweet and kind in offering to teach Benny.
“I’ll call you once you’ve had a chance to talk to your sister. Is tomorrow good?”
“Tomorrow. Sure.”
He holds my gaze for a beat longer than I expect, and my treacherous heart fills with hope, something it seems to want to do whenever he’s around.
So much for my avoidance tactic. It’s going to prove impossible to avoid Dan now.