Chapter 30
Thirty
Edwin
James had given up Paradise for me.
The knowledge reverberated in my head to the point where I felt dizzy. This gorgeous, amazing man had looked two angels in the face and said Fuck you, I’m not going without Edwin. He’d loved me that much. He still loved me that much.
Somehow, I believed every word. True, I’m very practical by nature.
Parts of this I’d need to sleep on for a few days, as it was too much to absorb in one sitting, but I believed him.
I believed he’d come back in time to try this life once more.
It made sense, just because of everything he’d known, said, and done when he was no seer.
More than that, I felt his sincerity in every word, in the grip he maintained on my hand.
I saw it in his emerald green eyes looking at me steadfastly.
I did not understand everything. There was too much to unpack even after his explanation, but this part I was sure of: If there was ever a pure and true love in this life, it was the one sitting right in front of my face.
“Edwin, are you all right?” He looked me over as if concerned he’d broken my brain. “I understand if you have questions or if parts of this are too surreal to accept. I lived through it, and it still feels surreal.”
My mind tried to come up with assurances, with questions, words at least. Nothing formed well enough for me to say them. I was completely overwhelmed with emotions, and it choked out all reason.
What did you say to someone who’d turned down Paradise just to have a second chance with you?
Had anyone ever loved me this truly?
Every word he’d spoken had unlocked the shackles my logical mind had put over my heart. My soul rang like a bell, practically saying the words, this was all true. Since the first day I’d met him, my soul had called to this man and now, I finally understood why.
Because I had loved him, even then. And my soul remembered.
Even now, I felt myself falling in love with him, and for the first time, I didn’t check myself. I let my heart lead. Fuck the repercussions, screw the worries, because that hadn’t done either of us any good in the first life. I’d learn from the mistakes and not repeat them.
James wanted me.
I wanted him.
And it’s about time we stopped dancing around each other.
Hot, heavy emotion welled to the fore, and for once I chose action over words.
I surged forward, one hand on the back of the sofa for balance, the other cradling James’s face as my lips caught his own.
His lips were surprisingly soft, the hint of white wine teasing my mouth.
James froze for a full second before his arms clamped around my waist, hauling me into his lap, and he kissed back with fervor.
With a low groan, James’s tongue invaded my mouth and I made way, tangling with it, and felt my whole body come alive.
He kissed me as if he’d done nothing but yearn for it, and sadly, I knew he had.
There was nothing gentle about our kiss.
It was raw hunger, desire, and a desperation so intense I felt consumed by it.
A hand tugged at my suit coat and I slid it off, throwing it casually to the side before my own hands targeted his coat and shirt. I couldn’t stop kissing him, which made getting clothes off a little awkward, but he didn’t seem to care.
It was a relief to have everything off, to feel the hot press of his chest against mine, his hands in my hair.
I wiggled, squirmed, managed to get pants off and out of the way.
Got his open, and gods preserve me, this man was well endowed.
My hand wrapped around his dick, getting a feel for him, and the more aroused he became, the more it filled my hand.
I would need all the lubrication if I was to take that in.
Made me all tingly at just the idea of it. Couldn’t wait to have this man on top of me and fucking me into a mattress.
He made the most delicious sounds as I stroked him, and I swallowed them, beyond pleased by how responsive he was to my touch. It was quite fun and arousing wringing these noises out of his mouth.
I also didn’t have the patience to get up, shift to a different location, and dig out oil from a drawer. Right now, I needed only this. I pushed him farther back so we were leaning completely against the sofa, shifting to a more comfortable position.
The world seemed to pause; ardor crystalized in the air as James’s eyes swept over me, stunned disbelief and reverence in his gaze.
His hands shakily lifted to trace the contours of my face, mapped the slope of my chest, the spread of my thighs.
I struggled to breathe, the worship in his touch incendiary.
I’d never felt anything like it, couldn’t imagine how I’d lived without it.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured. “Absolutely beautiful.”
Any response I’d planned on formulating died when James’s hand finally wrapped around my cock. He felt impossibly hot around me, giving me the friction I craved. The world restarted with a rush, and desperation reignited for us both, taking all ability to think with it.
He let go long enough to grasp my hips, guiding me so I lay between his spread legs.
I caged our cocks together with a hand, his joining and overlapping with mine, and gods, it felt incredible.
His cock was blazing hot and already leaking precum, lubricating my own.
At the first touch, he gave these hitched, cut-off noises of need, burying his face against the crook of my neck.
His mouth seized skin, sucking on it, and it felt incandescently good.
I tilted my head to give him better access even as I started thrusting against his cock on instinct, pleasure building in the base of my spine with every thrust.
James kept one hand on both our dicks, the other hand grabbing my ass and encouraging me forward. I loved the way his hand squeezed my ass cheek, no doubt, but I wanted something else.
“J-James,” I panted, nearly keening as I strained to get words strung together. “I-I want—”
“Tell me,” he whispered, the words hot against my lips. “Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”
“A finger, please.” Was I making sense? I hoped I made sense. I needed something filling me. All coherent thought was grinding down, sliding into a disposal, and dying there. I was a creature of sensation and need, nothing else.
James lifted his hand off my ass—what, no!—then put two fingers against my lips. Oh, that was what he was doing. I eagerly took them into my mouth and sucked, coating them heavily with saliva. The second I released them, he shifted to my ass again.
The first slow, steady penetration of a finger made me shudder. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to have a blunt-tipped finger rubbing along my channel.
“Look at you,” James murmured, adoring eyes taking in every twitch of my expression. “You love it.”
I nodded fervently. Yes, I loved every bit of penetration, to the point where I couldn’t think or form words anymore. I shoved back on his finger, feeling the way it filled me, the touch of it sliding at just the right angle to make sparks happen behind my eyes. I loved every bit indeed.
In fact, I loved it too much, as my climax built fast and furious.
A garbled cry broke from my lips. This was too intense, I couldn’t hold my climax back, nor was I really trying to.
Still, I wanted—I wanted— He reared up to catch my mouth with his and I poured everything I felt into the kiss, holding nothing back from him.
James shoved a second finger into me without ceremony, making sparks fly, and I came unwound. I climaxed hard and heavy over his hand and stomach. I broke the kiss, head landing on his shoulder instead.
Gods, had I ever… My whole body tingled. The afterglow was intense, too. I felt a touch faint with it. If a handjob could do this, I couldn’t wait to see what full-blown penetrative sex would do.
“Edwin”—James sounded strained—“I dearly want to come inside you.”
“Oh fuck yes,” I breathed without thinking. If the man wanted to fuck me into oblivion, this was the only answer I could give him. “I have oil in the bedroom.”
While I knew James was strong, it was an intellectual knowledge.
I’d seen him train with the knights, and they didn’t normally get the better of him, so he had to be strong.
Still, knowing versus experiencing it? Worlds different.
In a second flat, I was up in his arms and he’d beelined for the bedroom.
I’d never in my life been picked up by someone after I grew into adulthood, so being carted in James’s arms felt a little odd. I didn’t dislike it, though.
This close, I could hear his rapid breathing, see the flush in the skin of his cheeks and along his neck. The hunger in his eyes was all consuming; I felt scorched by it. Every inch of my body tingled in awareness.
James
I somehow got us safely to the bedroom, divested myself of pants, got oil out of the beside drawer, and gently laid my man across the sheets.
As much as I’d dreamed of this day, fantasized about it, yearned for it, I’d never actually hoped for it.
Perhaps that was why I found it almost overwhelming to be lying here naked, entwined with Edwin, able to kiss him, to feel how his breath shook against my skin with each caress.
I’d only been able to experience this in dreams.
Reality took my breath away.
The warmth of his skin felt like embers, almost too hot to touch—or perhaps it was me who burned with the sheer amount of want raging through my veins.
I pressed tender kisses to every part of his skin I could reach, living for every gasp of breath tumbling from his lips.
I loved it when his hands roved over my back, pulling me in tighter, as if he couldn’t bear for even air to separate us.