45
Born In Winter
Gabriel
I stare at my father, waiting for his first salvo.
I thought dinner had gone too smoothly, and I was right. When he couldn’t see her, he decided to manipulate his way in and try to frighten her into complying with whatever plan he had in mind.
The current security team is fired. Once Mikael and Ace get hold of them, they’ll be lucky if they make it out alive.
We’re at an impasse. He doesn’t speak, and neither do I. Usually, I’m the one that breaks. That’s what he’s waiting on. Tonight, I’m not in the mood.
I’ve done everything I can to get away from his clutches. Jake screwed that with his victim delivery. I hope he realizes that mistake now instead of continuing to push us out.
“She has to go.”
I’m surprised he broke so quickly. It isn’t like him to give in.
“No.”
He leans back into the couch cushions with a sigh at my refusal.
“Jake?” I glance at him, letting him see the rage he’s conjured up in me for this farce. He ignores the look, meeting me head-on with his shark stare.
“Go with Amanda? Make sure everyone knows that if anyone else bothers her, I kill them on sight? Yes, sir.”
He turns, still hefting his MP2 in obvious threat and saunters away.
That wasn’t what I meant. At all. I’m not fighting him on it. Who knows how many people have infiltrated my home at this point? I can get my apology later. If Jake is even capable of giving me one.
The two people Father brought with him are new to me. Not new recruits, though. Cade waits behind them, ready to disarm them if they cause trouble. Ace takes Jake’s place at my side, his guns held loosely. That can change in a snap of time, and Father knows it.
“Do you see what’s happening right now?” His cold, familiar tone returns as he relaxes.
“Enlighten me,” I reply with as much frost as he’s giving me.
“She is using all of you, and you are falling for it.”
I don’t care. She can use me up and throw me away. I did it to her. Turnabout is fair play. Until then, she’s mine . I’d like to believe I’m capable of letting her go, but insanity is deeply entrenched in my DNA. I thought the gene had skipped me. I was wrong.
“Disband the company, and I’ll let her leave.”
Cade’s gaze snaps to me in disbelief. Ace’s hands tighten over his pistols. Mikael is the only one that doesn’t have a reaction to the deal.
Father scoffs at me, surprised. “Like she’s worth my mission? If you want her dead that badly, I’ll take care of it. At least I have it in me.”
“You have it in you to kill an innocent woman?” I ask with a raised brow. “Have you gone that far down?”
His lips close, firming up angrily. “How do you know she’s innocent? What proof do you have?”
“Perhaps the information you’ve been getting on this situation hasn’t been looked at properly.”
“It’s in her name.”
Odd that he already knows that when we only found out last night. And Shade found it and shut it down. I doubt he told Father about it. He despises him.
“It was in her name. Now, there’s no account at all.”
“She’s setting you up for this meeting you’re planning. She’s already taken the money, and she’s using you for more,” he leans forward intently, focusing on me with relentless force. I would have folded under that stare a year ago. I won’t now.
Being away from him has been more of a relief than I imagined it could be. Shade saved me from myself by convincing me to stay in town. I’ve gotten to know Andi better in my own stilted way. I’ve seen Shade as a person instead of a mindless killing machine. Things are not the way my father painted them to be out in the cold of harsh reality. I’m out of my ‘gilded’ cage now.
“What she does with the money is her business. What I do with mine is my business. This situation doesn’t need your involvement.”
“Then why did Jake bring my attention here?” He raises a brow.
It seems as if he’s had his attention here already for quite some time. I know he had Shade’s team here for at least a year investigating Fullerton. They were idiots but I refuse to believe they got nothing for their troubles. Not now, anyway. Does he know everything already? The players and the money movers?
If he chooses to blackmail me for the information, I could let him, but I won’t. He’ll demand Amanda leave, and I won’t be able to tolerate that. It would be better for us if he left the board.
“To piss me off,” I tell him blandly. “It’s working quite well.”
With us busy dealing with Father, it leaves Jake open to do whatever he wants with Amanda. He’s shutting us out to punish us in any way he can. It’s difficult to see where his mind goes, but not impossible. He wants vengeance for her, and he’s going to get it whether we like it or not. Getting her attention in a positive way for it is just salt in the wound.
“He’s as concerned as I am about this situation,” Father reclines again with a flat expression.
“He isn’t,” I sigh in exasperation. “I’d say he’s a good deal more concerned than you are.”
“What does that mean?” He asks in a silky tone.
He’s trying to lead me into our usual argument that always ends with me broken and battered on the inside. I started breaking the patterns when I left New York. He hasn’t gotten the hint yet.
“It’s no longer my concern if you understand or not. You’re trespassing. Please leave.”
“You aren’t going to play the pity card?” He taunts me. “The I was an innocent little boy argument ?”
“How you see me is not my concern either.”
His brows begin to furrow at my refusal to follow our usual script. He doesn’t like that he hasn’t rattled me yet.
“I see. You think that refusing to mourn your mother’s death with me will ease your guilt.”
It all comes back to this.
His steadfast belief that I failed my mother as a child. As if I wouldn’t go back in time and change our positions. I didn’t know what was happening. I had the childish belief that my mother was impervious to damage. I was wrong.
Coming out of hiding would have seen me just as dead. He knows that. We’ve all seen it hundreds of times in different forms. There was no right answer to the situation. I suppose he expected me to stay by his side for his vengeance like Jake did with his father. I was too traumatized already to comprehend what he was doing.
I am not Jake. Or any of the other men around me, including my father. There’s nothing he can do to turn me into that. Amanda could if she wanted it. Not my Father.
I understand his feelings and motivation.
My Father wasn’t always clean. To make his fortune, he dealt extensively with various mafia types. Then, he decided to scam a little extra and got caught. Instead of facing the repercussions, he planned on leaving with us in tow. But not before he could say goodbye to his favorite mistress of the time.
He doesn’t know that I’m aware the night my Mother died, he was out with his mistress as a farewell fuck. My parent’s marriage was never a good one. With age came a lot of perspective. With Amanda’s influence, I found out a lot more.
He’s punishing me for not acting because he can’t accept that he fucked up. The whole cycle began with him . The women weren’t a new thing that developed after Mother’s death. It had been going on all along. Now that Shade’s mom is in the picture and I’ve seen how he dotes on her, everything became crystal clear. He never loved Mother. In the end, their marriage was arranged, and I was the product.
It was never about my failures. It’s about his . And now he can wallow in that alone.
“You don’t mourn her,” I shake my head. “You use it as an excuse to keep me in line because I do.”
“How dare you!” He begins with a low hiss. I hold up my hand wearily, waiting for him to stop.
“You didn’t care about Mother. Own up to it and move on. I’m not listening to your version of events. None of us can change the past, no matter how hard we will it. That leaves us all to move on or die wallowing. I’ve chosen the former. So did Ace, Cade, Jake, and Mikael. If I offered to take them in, do you think they’d refuse?”
My gesture to the two men behind him surprises them.
“I’m not saying it for show. If you want out, you can get out. The only hold he has on you is in your head. Believe me.”
“You wouldn’t be livin’ here, though,” Ace assures them with a toothy grin.
“You aimed a gun at Amanda. And you , Jin,” Mikael turns on my Father with a heavy frown. “You prompted it. An innocent woman under our protection. For what?”
“She’s no better than his mother,” Father snaps, flinging a hand at me. “All it would take is some money, and she’ll be gone.”
He’s a liar. My Mother could have packed me up and left at any point. She had her own money. It was love that kept her true, no matter the mistresses. I witnessed a lot of tears that became clearer the more I grew. She would never have left him.
“She’s no better than us ,” Ace assures him with a snarl. “She wants blood and pain, not money. And she’s going to get it.”
“Do you honestly think you’re going to manipulate her? She’s already seen through all of us in a single glance. You won’t be spared that. Believe me when I say it’s the most raw and humbling experience,” I huff a laugh. I’d give anything to have that back.
“Then bring her back in here,” Father gives me a sneer. “Let’s see where she stands after my offer?”
Ace starts chuckling. Mikael breaks into laughter after a second of it. My lips twitch into a grin. If someone tries to force her back in here, she’s going to beat him to death with Jakob. Jake would be a cheerleader for her at any time. She stared down the barrel of a gun as if it was pathetic instead of terrifying.
“She’s already seen you,” my eyes narrow as I take him in. “And you know it.”
His expression turns uneasy at the assurance.
Oh yeah. He knows.
“She ain’t gonna fall for your games,” Ace settles down.
“Yet I’m supposed to believe she has nothing to do with what’s happening here?” Father rallies quickly. “If she’s so impervious to manipulation, she would have seen this all along. Can’t you understand that?”
My gut clenches. I know why she didn’t, but I don’t want to tell him. I want to wipe any evidence that Justin Blake existed off the face of the Earth.
“Love makes people do stupid shit,” Cade says blandly, his eyes on me more than anyone else.
The two guards startle and spin in his direction, weapons drawn. He takes the guns away easily with a scowl. Well-trained versus fresh recruit.
“You would know, Jin,” Mikael adds roughly. “You turned Shade’s mother away in the hopes it would keep her safe. Didn’t you?”
Father’s face pales. The extent of his inadequacies with women is unparalleled. I’m doing my best not to follow in his footsteps. And failing.
“I won’t be doing that,” I tell him gruffly. “Amanda stays until she chooses to leave. No more, no less.”
Ace glares at me for it. Cade raises a brow as if he’s reminding me I’ll have to go through Jake to give her freedom. He doesn’t realize it’s a lie. I don’t think I could push her away again, even if she begged.
“With all of you?” Father looks around at the men with me and smirks. “Are you going to be like Andi now?”
I’ve had several relationships just like Andi’s with Mikael and Ace. I’m a little surprised he doesn’t know that. Not anything as serious as we feel for Amanda. But I’m familiar.
“We’ll make our own way, don’t worry,” I mock him. “Since you’re obviously incapable of assisting my current situation, there’s the door.”
“Don’t come crying to me when she takes everything from you.” His baleful stare is accompanied by a sneer.
“I wouldn’t come to you for anything. You have nothing I want.”
When I say it, he’s in the middle of standing. When he straightens, his surprised look is genuine.
“You don’t mean that. You’ve been around Evan too long.”
“I mean it. And I’d prefer it if you left my brother out of any further discussions we may have. I think you’ve let him down enough, don’t you?”
“You should be pleased with what a tight-knit unit your children are,” Cade says with a grin. “They’re all in this together. Without a single helping hand from you.”
I stand and turn to Mikael. “Please make sure they leave. And then get some sleep, all of you.”
“Yes, sir,” comes back to me in a trio of voices.
“Stand down, Mikael,” Father barks.
I glance back as Mikael advances on him without pause.
“Imagine how loyal people would be if you stopped treating them like pawns,” I shake my head and make my way upstairs. I want to check on Amanda, but the likelihood of Jake shooting me is almost one hundred percent.
Instead, I trudge back to my cold bed and lie awake, wondering what it would be like to have her in it with me.