Chapter 16
Collin wakes me up with a hug, arms squeezing tight around my chest. His hot, moist breath brushes against my ear. It feels intimate and sweet—boyfriend stuff.
“Alvin, it’s time for us to switch trains.”
I sit up and stretch my neck and shoulders.
I’m surprised to discover that there are no tight spots or anything.
I couldn’t have slept more than thirty minutes, but I feel totally refreshed.
And even after we’ve separated and I’ve moved back to my side of the bench, I still feel the lingering warmth of Collin’s arms around my chest.
Huh. In addition to making me feel things, can an Avatar of Knowledge also mask pain? Like maybe I actually have a wicked kink somewhere, but he’s just keeping me from noticing it?
I deliberately make the choice to embrace denial and not ask questions I don’t really want to know the answers to.
Whatever that was, it was nice. And he looks super-cute and smiley as we get to our feet.
Like he really enjoyed it, too. Maybe for once in my life I can let myself enjoy something that’s nice without waiting for the balloon to pop.
We exit through the side doors and head toward the standing eBART shuttle train for the final leg to Antioch, along with a handful of other commuters also switching trains.
Halfway across the open concrete platform, I glance over at Collin, just to make sure he’s still with me.
He notices, and with a grin, playfully swings over and bumps his shoulder against mine.
There’s a cute little bob now when he walks that goes all the way up to his shoulders.
It’s almost like a swagger, but sweeter.
Especially in his wool shepherd-boy outfit—he looks like some lost prince from a fairy tale, a jaunty hero on top of the world. I have to keep myself from staring.
He takes my hand after we sit down in an empty two-seater on the shuttle train. His skin is soft. I can feel the pulse in his thumb. Somehow it’s as if cuddling just those few minutes on BART changed something between us. Opened something up.
It’s not real, I remind myself, forcing myself to not look at him. I focus out the window at the gray strip malls along the highway, whizzing past.
But… if I am choosing to embrace denial, is it honestly such a bad thing to pretend that some cute boy actually likes me? That I’m on some kind of weird first date that’s going really well? That I get to have that, just for a little bit longer?
We’re quiet for the rest of the train ride and also in the Uber on the way to the druid’s.
Just enjoying being together, I guess. I know I should probably be peppering him with questions to prepare, but I’m too distracted by our interlaced fingers and the way the light catches the random bit of blond fuzz on his chin, and how he sits so close to me, constantly smiling, like he’s living his best life.
This whole little scheme of mine to free him isn’t something he’s allowed to help with, so he probably wouldn’t be able to answer my questions, anyway.
(At least, that’s what I tell myself as I relax in the back seat of the Uber and let the sides of our bodies, our shoulders and legs, press gently against each other.)
Don’t pop the balloon, Alvin.
The druid’s house is in the rural outskirts of Antioch, an area with rolling hills of mostly dry, yellow meadow.
But it’s not hard to tell when we’re getting close: The grass literally gets greener, and the California oaks get taller and thicker.
By the time we drive up the gravel road to a colorful, gingerbread-like cottage, we’re surrounded by acres of lush foliage that feel like they’ve been nurtured by daily rains instead of suffering under the constant drought of the Bay Area.
I step out of the car, and everything smells clean, fresh, and honeyed.
The druid is waiting for us in the rounded wooden archway of her open front door.
She’s middle-aged with short dark hair, and wears a dirty white T-shirt, jeans with grass stains, and thick leather gardening gloves.
I’ve never met a druid before and, to be honest, I’d been expecting to see someone straight out of a Dungeons & Dragons campaign—you know, the big brown wool cloak with a hood, the staff, the whole nine yards.
(More like Collin, I guess.) But she looks like a suburban mom coming straight from her garden.
Only the peek of blue tattooed runes under the collar of her shirt implies she could be anything more.
“You must be Alvin!” she says, beaming at me. She makes a half-turn into her doorway and scoops her hand in toward herself a few times. “Come in! Come in!”
If I was surprised by her clothes, I’m even more surprised by her warmth. Mom’s “friends” aren’t exactly cheerful types. More like lifetime members of the Legion of Broken Toys and Despair. They never seem happy to be around her, and they barely talk to me at all. This… is new.
I glance at Collin, who shrugs, eyes scrunched with uncertainty. This is my show, apparently, and he’s just along for the ride. We still hold hands as I follow the woman inside. (I try to mask it by keeping our fingers as close to my hip as I can.)
No matter how she looks, this woman wouldn’t be on Mom’s speed dial if she weren’t crazy powerful. I figure leaning hard into pure politeness is the safest path.
“Thank you so much for seeing me on such short notice, Ms. Blackthorn.” I nod at the soiled work gloves she removes and throws onto her kitchen table. “I’m sorry for interrupting your day. I’m sure you were in the middle of something.”
“Nonsense! Your mother and I go way back. And please, call me Tara.” She spins around and, before I can react, she has her hands on my shoulders, clasping them and turning me this way and that. She’s taller than me by a few inches. “Look at you! So handsome. You definitely take after her!”
I feel myself actually blush. “Um… Well… Maybe less so now,” I stammer out.
(Collin’s no longer next to me. When I look for him, he’s across the room, leaning against a glass-windowed standalone pantry.)
“Ach!” she cries, letting go, and bringing my attention back to her. “I know! That whole teenage seductress pose is a horror show, isn’t it? What is she thinking?! Doesn’t she realize that cougars are in right now?”
I can’t help but snort out a laugh at that. “Yeah, well, when it comes to what potential boyfriends are looking for, I, um— I figure she knows what she’s doing…”
“You mean rich boyfriends, don’t you? And rich people are assholes.
Why base your whole thing on what they want?
It’s not like she has any problems with money.
” She throws a quick wave up and down in front of me with her hand, like I’m Exhibit A.
“And she’s your mother! She should have stuck with her appearance while you were growing up, at least until you yourself decided to try something new. It must have been so confusing!”
Well, she’s not wrong.
Hm. We’ve spent less than a minute together, and already…
I’m kind of liking her. I glance over at Collin to get his reaction, but I can’t read his expression.
Neither wary nor happy to be here. He’s doing that glancing-up-in-the-air thing every now and then, but it just seems to leave him looking puzzled.
Like maybe our reason for being here has turned off all his divine insight.
I snap my attention back to Tara, not wanting to reveal that I can see Collin.
My anxiety cranks back up a notch as I realize I should be focused on making small talk.
She clearly seems to know exactly what my mom and I are, so I say, “Well, I’ve never had the power to change myself.
What you see is what you get, for better or worse. ”
Next to the kitchen sink, there’s a silver tray on the counter with a well-worn white teapot and two dainty, flowered tea cups.
She’s adding enormous chocolate-chip cookies from a large aluminum sheet to a china plate laid out next to the cups.
From the aroma in the kitchen, they were just baked. She glances over her shoulder.
“That’s right. She said you don’t feed. So you don’t have any incubus powers at all?”
I shrug. “I can detect magic, and I can see in the dark. That’s about it.”
Suddenly reminded that I do actually have a somewhat-useful power, I casually scan around the room for enchantments and the like.
I should at least check if there are any dangers, right?
There are lots of things that have a little bit of yeasty domestic magic with a unique hint of musky almond, but nothing major.
Nothing like the doorway runes in the house on Lake Street that packed serious juice.
Nothing on her. And all the stuff on the tray that she’s putting together is completely normal.
Collin meets my eyes as I look up from the tea set. He was looking at it, too. His expression seems maybe a little calmer, more confident. Hopefully that’s a good sign.
Tara steps away from the counter and comes up to me, holding the tray.
I can smell the steam from the teapot. Floral and sweet.
“Well I, for one, think your choice to abstain is very cool. It’s too easy to rely on supernatural powers in this world, and even easier to use them to take advantage of other people. Bravo, you.”
She makes me blush a second time.
“Um, thank you. It’s really not a big thing.” I don’t love having a lot of attention directed at me. But I can’t help smiling.
“Alvin, I have known incubi for much longer than you’ve been alive. Trust me, it is.”