36. Crystal
36
Crystal
Rabbie didn’t leave my side for the whole launch party, and I was kind of glad he didn’t. The adrenaline from the encounter with his dad had me on edge. His cryptic threat rang loud in my head and I had to fight off the anxious thoughts. I wanted to protect Rabbie and with his dad showing his face has me on high alert. We mingled with most of the locals, with them offering our congratulations on the website. We mentioned to Dylan, Cam, Hamish and Fiona about why we were late to the party, and they didn’t seem too thrilled about the situation. Rabbie didn’t show too much concern, but I knew he was internally worrying about it.
He rubs the small of my back as we finish talking to the group of elderly women who frequent Sweet Treats. I love his large hands on me, it makes me feel safe and grounded. Takes a sip of his drink as he scans the pub, his eyes landing on his mum. She is tucked away in the corner sipping a glass of water. I’ve noticed no one has made an effort to talk to her, it seems the locals are still upset with her. My heart aches for her, it must take a lot of courage to come here knowing what they all must think of her. I grab Rabbie’s hand and lead him through the crowded pub.
“I think maybe it’s time for them to speak,” I say to Rabbie as we make our way over to his mum.
He squeezes my hand, and kisses my cheek from behind.
“You’re good at reading my mind.”
Susie lights up as she sees us approaching, and I can instantly feel the relief coming from her.
“You’ve organised a great party Crystal. I can see how loved you are Rabbie,” she offers us a smile.
“Thanks mum. I think maybe we should go over and say hello to nan. I haven’t seen her yet.”
Susie’s face drops and I can see the worry on her face, she nibbles on her lip and starts to shift on her feet. Rabbie steps in close and offers her a warm smile.
“It’ll be okay, I promise.”
His reassuring words seem to work and Susie relaxes a tiny bit, and the frown between her eyes smooths out. Rabbie grabs my hand again, and leads me over to the table in the corner with Susie following behind me. Mrs. MacNee is sitting with Grannie Jo, Rosie, and Ruby. They’re chatting away and Mrs. MacNee’s smile drops as she spots us walking over to her. I see the worry on her face too, and I’m wondering how this will go. Mrs. MacNee can be a stubborn old woman, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she made a scene in front of everyone. I feel most eyes on us as we finally get to the table, and it feels like my heart is in my mouth. I’d hate to think how Rabbie and Susie feels, probably a hundred times worse.
The tension is thick as no one makes the first move. Rosie shifts Ruby in her lap, and looks at Grannie Jo.
“Shall we go find some food ladies?” Grannie Jo asks Rosie and Ruby.
“I want one of Uncle Rabbit’s cupcakes,” Ruby bounces in Rosie’s lap.
“I made one just for you, I gave it to your dad to look after.” Rabbie smiles at his niece, and Mrs. MacNee softens at seeing her grandson so gentle.
Ruby claps her hands as Rosie and Grannie Jo stand and leave the table and wander off to the others who are staring over at us from the other side of the pub. I look back over my shoulder and see Susie fidgeting and I give her a reassuring smile.
“I thought you were never going to come over, come on sit down my braw laddie,” Mrs. MacNee waves us to sit.
“I brought mum over to say hello,” Rabbie says nervously.
His hands have grown sweaty in mine, and I can feel the anxiety oozing from him.
“Laddie, I might be old, but I’m not blind.” Mrs. MacNee quips.
I can’t help but laugh at the sharpness of her, and her eyes land on me and she smirks at me.
“Sit down, everyone is staring,” Mrs MacNee huffs.
Rabbie sits down one side of his nan, and Susie and I take the seats opposite them. Susie can’t make eye contact with Mrs. MacNee, and all of a sudden I feel like this was a mistake. We sit in silence for what feels like minutes, but is only a couple of seconds.
“Sorry it took me a while to get to you, we were swamped as soon as we walked through the door.” Rabbie grabs his nan’s hand.
“Och, dinny fash. I was only kidding.”
Mrs. MacNee hasn’t looked at her daughter yet, and I wonder if she ever will. I sit back because this technically isn’t my family drama to have any input, I’m just here for moral support.
“I’m proud of you laddie,” she taps Rabbie’s arm.
He smiles at her, and looks at his mum. She shifts in her seat, and looks down at her hands in her lap. I can feel the pain coming from Susie, so many regrets in her life and something she will have to live with. It can’t be easy to witness this interaction between her son and mother.
“And you,” Mrs. MacNee finally looks at her daughter.
Susie’s head snaps up, and her eyes grow wide. Her mouth has fallen open and the shock on her face is visible. I tense thinking she’s going to start laying into her in front of the whole town. I can feel all eyes on us as we sit here talking.
“You finally left that lowlife, well done.” Mrs. MacNee says with a hint of bitterness and relief.
Susie’s lip quivers, and I place my hand in hers under the table for support. She squeezes my hand back.
“Aye, I wish I’d have done it sooner,” she chokes out.
Rabbie is looking between his mum and nan with hesitation, he doesn’t say anything. I think like me, he wants to see where this conversation is going.
“I know, but you’ve done it now. Time to put the past behind us and focus on the present. I’m not getting any younger.” Mrs. MacNee offers a soft smile to her daughter.
A tear escapes Susie’s eye and she quickly wipes it away.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” she whispers.
Rabbie dips his head, and Mrs. MacNee looks at her and cocks her head to the side.
“If he can move forward and learn to forgive then so can I. Everything I do is for him, always has been. There’s a long road ahead, and it will take time, but I want to enjoy what years I have left.” Mrs MacNee looks at her grandson.
“Jesus nan, you’re acting as if you’re dying.” Rabbie rubs his chin.
“I am dying laddie. I’m not far off being eighty years old.”
Rabbie lets out a laugh and the tension of the conversation melts away. The hardest part is over, and they can start to move on and heal as a family. It’s nice to see that Rabbie’s wishes are coming true because god dammit he deserves it. Susie lets out a huge sigh of relief and she looks brighter. Mrs. MacNee winks at me, and I smile back at her. Apart from Rabbie, she’s quickly becoming one of my favourite people in this town.
I look over at Rabbie and the stress that was there on his face before has gone, and he looks truly happy. He opens his hand to me, and I stand from my seat and walk around the table to him. He stands with his whisky glass, and whistles to grab the attention of the whole pub. I feel my face flush, I hate public speaking, and every single person is now looking towards us. Rabbie wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me in tight to his side.
Everyone has fallen silent, you could hear a pin drop. I look around the pub and see so many faces that have now become so familiar it’s hard to imagine a time before I came here. Dylan, Cam, Hamish, Fiona, Rosie, Ruby and Grannie Jo are stood by the fire. Nellie and David are standing at the bar with Mac. All these people are here for Rabbie, and I’m in awe at the sense of community. Crossmackie shows up for one another, and I’m dumbstruck by the kindness. Now that Rabbie has everyone’s attention, he smiles down at me.
“I would like to make a toast. To all of you for supporting me through the years, especially since I became the new owner for Sweet Treats. To my wee team of Nellie, David and my mum, there wouldn’t be a Sweet Treats without you. To my friends for keeping me grounded. To my nan for being my biggest supporter and for teaching me how to bake. And finally, to Crystal for changing my life. I’m the luckiest man in the world.” He doesn’t take his eyes off me as he raises his glass.
“Slàinte” he takes a sip of his whisky.
Everyone returns their cheers to us as Rabbie dips his head and kisses me soft and slow in front of everyone. Cheers erupt around us as we make a very public display of affection. I never thought in a million years that when I came to Crossmackie that I would end up falling in love with an incredible man, and that I would actually want to stay in this tiny little town. But now when I think about my future, I can’t picture being anywhere else. I sink into Rabbie, and kiss him back, and I don’t care who’s watching, this man drives me crazy.
Our moment is quickly ruined by one of the local teenagers running into the pub and shouting. I can’t quite make out what he’s saying over the cheering as he reaches Cam. The teenager is frantically telling Cam something, and Cam’s eyes shoot over to Rabbie and the look of worry on his face is enough to unsettle me. Cam pushes through the crowd with the rest of the group behind him. Rabbie is too distracted to notice to look on Cam’s face.
“Rab,” Cam rushes over.
“Mate,” Rabbie laughs.
“Don’t panic, but Sweet Treats has been vandalised.” Cam’s face is pale.
Rabbie hand drops from my back, and my stomach drops. No, this can’t be happening, not tonight. I grab Rabbie’s hand and it’s shaking, he looks down at me and I see the pain in his eyes. Everyone is looking over at us, and they’re starting to whisper. Rabbie wastes no time and pulls me through the crowd and out through the front door of the pub. Everyone is hot on our tails. I don’t remember running to Sweet Treats, but I held my breath the whole way.
Please don’t let it be bad.
Rabbie doesn’t let go of my hand the whole way. Cam, Dylan, Hamish, Fiona and the rest of the town soon catch up to us. I can’t bring myself to look at Rabbie, I can feel the stress coming from him and I don’t know how to make this okay.
Sweet Treats’ beautiful window that displays all the cakes and pastries has been smashed. The door has been kicked in, and the beautiful cream signs have been spray painted red. My heart is in my throat, and the bile in my stomach is threatening to come up.
It doesn’t take a detective to figure out who would’ve done this, only one person could’ve done this. The anger is slowly bubbling away in me, that fucking prick can’t let Rabbie live his life. The sadness creeps in and replaces the anger. Rabbie’s livelihood, his passion, and safe space has been cruelly ruined. The commotion from the whole town isn’t making the situation easy. People are talking over each other, and I can feel Rabbie tensing next to me.
“Mate, I’ve called the police, they’ll be here soon, but they’re in the next town over.” Cam claps his hand on Rabbie’s shoulder.
Rabbie nods at Cam but he doesn’t quite register, I think he’s in shock.
“Oh Rab, I’m sorry,” Fiona gives him a hug.
Rabbie’s mum and nan have finally joined the growing crowd outside the cafe, and the look and both of their faces tells me everything I need to know. Rabbie’s dad is the scum of the earth. The selfish prick has taken too much from Rabbie, he couldn’t just walk away.
Rabbie is swept away by people offering their sympathy, and the anxiety of not being able to do anything overcomes me. We don’t know the extent of the damage, and if it’s safe to go inside the cafe, but I suddenly realise that the most important thing to Rabbie is still in there. He must be in shock if he didn’t think of it first. I find myself running towards the door of the cafe before anyone notices that I’ve gone and can follow me.
I rush through the cafe, the broken glass crushing underneath my feet as I make my way inside. I try not to look at the damage but it’s worse than I thought. All the tables and chairs have been thrown around and broken, the walls have been spray painted and the register with a smaller glass display has been smashed. I feel my heart breaking the further I make my way into the cafe. I enter Rabbie’s kitchen, and find all his ingredients and Christmas orders have been thrown on the floor and squashed. I don’t want Rabbie to see this, his heart would break to see the hatred and coldness that his dad has done.
At the bottom of the stairs leading up to his flat, I stare up the dark stairway, and notice the door to his flat has been kicked in. The darkness is enough to make me turn around, but I swallow the fear and push myself to go upstairs. I don’t know if Rabbie’s dad is still here, he could be upstairs waiting, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. I slowly and quietly make my way up the stairs and into the flat, the night is so still, and I can hear my own heartbeat. I creep down the hallway, and peer into my room. My clothes have been strewn around, and it sends a shiver down my spine knowing he’s touched my things. I take a deep breath and push on to Rabbie’s room, I open the door to find his bedroom has been trashed. How is Rabbie ever going to recover from this? This was his safe space, he took great pride in his bedroom, and knowing his dad was the one to do this makes me feel sick.
The lamps have been smashed, and the bed sheets ripped up. I notice the little black recipe book thrown on the ground. I quickly pick it up and shove it down the front of my dress. I scan the room but I can’t find her, Edie . She usually sleeps on his bed. My heart aches to think of how scared she was when Rabbie’s dad came barging in trashing the place. I hope he didn’t take her, Rabbie would be devastated if he did.
“Edie” I whisper out.
Nothing. I start to panic, and think the worst. Please let her be here.
“Edie,” I whisper again.
I hear a shuffle and I instantly freeze in fear, my heart picks up and I start to break out in a sweat. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray that I’m just hearing things. I feel something brush up against my leg and I jump three feet in the air. My heart is beating out of my chest, and the adrenaline prickles my skin. I look down at my feet and see two big yellow eyes staring up at me. Edie rubs her head up against my leg again and lets out a soft meow. I clutch my chest and the rush of relief is almost too much, I scoop up my new found friend and kiss her head. I never thought I would be kissing this cat ever, but I pepper her with them. I think in all this terrible situation, Rabbie will be relieved to know his Edie is okay.
I steady my breath and listen out for anything else but the flat is eerily quiet. I scan the rest of Rabbie’s room and see that a small safe in the bottom of his wardrobe has been pried open and whatever was in there has been taken, my guess is the money from the cafe. I try to tell myself that everything will be okay, I will help Rabbie get through this.
Suddenly there’s heavy footsteps and I panic again, I clutch Edie to my chest. I don’t know if it’s her shaking or me. It’s still dark in the flat. The footsteps stop outside Rabbie’s bedroom door, and I hold my breath.
Rabbie pushes the door open, and the look of worry and panic is enough to make me cry. He doesn’t say anything, he just closes the gap between us and wraps me and Edie in his arms. I relax into him, and breathe him in. We’re safe.
“There was such a commotion outside, it took me a while to figure where you were,” he sighs into my hair.
“What were you thinking?” He questions me.
“Sorry, I had to check if she was okay,” I mutter into his firm chest.
He strokes my back with his large hand and it calms me instantly. He hums in agreement and the vibration from his chest makes me feel so safe. He leans back and checks me over and then gives Edie’s head a scratch, she leans into his touch like I do.
“You keep me on my toes that’s for sure,” he chuckles as he tucks my hair behind my ear.
He looks around at his trashed bedroom and I wish I could make him not see the destruction that lays before him. He frowns and rubs a hand over the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry this has happened,” I grab his hand.
He looks at me and his face softens.
“These things can be replaced, but you and Edie can’t. I’m glad you’re both okay.” He kisses me softly, and I melt into a puddle.
What was turning out to be a perfect evening has been quickly ruined, and I want to make it better but I don’t know how. How can I leave him in two days? I don’t want him to have to deal with this mess alone.
“I’ll stay and help you deal with this. My mama will understand.”
He doesn’t say anything straight away, and I can’t read the expression on his face. I’d thought he’d be happy with my decision, but the way he’s looking at me tells me otherwise.
“I can’t let you do that, mo beag. You need to see your mama, your brothers and your dad.”
“But you’ll need help with the cafe, and the flat.” I try to win my case.
“I’ll have the whole town helping me out, don’t worry. You go home and enjoy Christmas with your family. I’ll be okay.”
“Fine, but I’m coming back for New Years Eve.” I pout.
It’s not the way I wanted to tell him that I wanted to come back, but the stress of the night has worn me thin. A small smirk spreads across his face and he tries to hide his excitement.
“Do you want to come back for New Years or because you want to help with this mess?”
“I want to come back for New Years, I’ve been trying to find the right time to tell you, and I thought tonight would’ve been perfect.”
His smirk turns into a large smile, and my heart melts to see him so happy when his home and business have been smashed to bits.
“You really want to come back?” It’s more of a statement than a question.
“Yes, because I’m foolishly in love with you.” I admit.
My bold statement stops him in his tracks and the large smile falters a little bit, and I worry I’ve come on too strong. But he wraps me in his arms, squishing Edie into our chests.
“I love you too. I never thought I would get to hear those words, but fuck, they sound so good.” He kisses me softly.
Hearing him say those words back to me should’ve freaked me out, but they made my heart soar, and the giddiness in me builds. We’re in love and I don’t care who knows it.
A small meow comes from Edie and we both ease up to give her some breathing space. The soft genuine smile on his face makes me want to tell him how much he means to me, but the thing is with Rabbie and I, we don’t need to confess our love for one another with words. I feel it, I see it. I never thought two people with very dysfunctional views on relationships would end up falling for one another. I feel very blessed to have met a man like him. He makes me feel like a goddess by just the way he looks at me. We look after each other in so many different ways, we compliment each other with strengths and weaknesses.
Edie nudges her head against me with a soft purr, and Rabbie smirks at me.
“What?” I look at him with curiosity.
“I never thought I’d see the day that you would actually hold her.” He reaches out for Edie.
I pass her to him and she nuzzles into his arms.
“I don’t know what you mean, I love Edie.” I try to act cool about his observation.
A laugh escapes his mouth, and it takes me by surprise.
“Come on, I saw your face the day you met her. It didn’t exactly scream ‘I love cats’.” He keeps laughing.
I’m left speechless. I didn’t think I was that obvious, but clearly Rabbie can read me like a book. I face the facts and decide that honesty is the best policy between us. I reach forward and cover Edie’s ears.
“Truth is, I hate cats. But, I love her now.” I quickly say before she can hear me.
Rabbie keeps smiling and I’m glad this is brightening his mood.
“I think she loves you too.”
Edie meows perfectly on time, and we both start laughing. Rabbie looks around his room again, but his smile doesn’t disappear.
“When you come back for New Years, I would love your input on decorating the flat.” He grabs my hand.
“Why? You did such a perfect job at decorating your flat.”
“My flat, yes. But, this will be our flat. I want you to have some say in it too.” He kisses me on the cheek.
When I thought I couldn’t fall more in love with this man, I do.
Our flat.
“Are you asking me to move in with you, Rabbie MacNee?”
“I think I did three months ago, but aye, officially. What do you think?”
I can’t contain my excitement, and I jump up and down on the spot. I mean we’ve practically been living together since I got here, but somehow this feels more serious.
“Yes,” I clap my hands together.
In the past three months my life has done a complete turn around. When I came to Crossmackie, I was a miserable shell of a woman who only wanted superficial relationships. I barely spoke to my mama, and family. I judged Crossmackie and the people who live here before I got to know them. I was resentful of how my life was, and I blamed my mama and the town I grew up in for my pessimistic views on love and healthy relationships.
Rabbie has changed my life. My outlook is so much clearer and greater now. He’s shown me what a partnership looks like, what love looks like. He treats me as an equal and I love the way he makes me feel seen and heard. I slowly fell in love with Rabbie, and then I slowly fell in love with Crossmackie and the people who live here. Seeing the way they all come together to support each other fills me with purpose, and I’d like to think of myself as a true local now.
“Come on, everyone will start to worry if we don’t head down.”
Rabbie grabs my hand, and pulls me towards the door. His hand in mine tells me I’m home.