Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
NATE
“You are one sneaky fucker,” Keaton shakes his head from side to side as he takes a mouthful of his beer.
“Why? Because I don't tell you every detail of my private life?” My tone is curt as I run my hand through my thick hair.
Frustration bubbles beneath my skin.
I start walking towards the kitchen when I hear Connie's voice.
“So, Mrs Spencer, tell us all.”
I know James will be feeling uncomfortable, so like a knight in shining armour, I swoop in behind her, wrapping my arms around her body and nuzzling my face into the crook between her neck and shoulder.
“Ladies, leave her alone,” I say in the politest way then press my lips against her pulse point in her neck which races beneath my mouth.
Connie rolls her eyes in an over exaggerated manner, and I scoff, placing another kiss on her pulse point before I step back and head towards the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of the cool beer, twisting the top off and discarding it into the trash.
I take a mouthful and swallow it down before giving Arizona a playful wink and walking out the room and back to the men. The kitchen stays quiet and my lips twitch before I join my friends.
“So...” Killian's rumble fills the small void between the five of us, “you're married.”
“Seems that way,” I take another sip of my beer.
“How... when... why didn't we know?” Titus quips, hand folded into his pocket.
And I shrug my shoulder up in a half ass attempt of a shrug.
“There are certain things you don't know, and this was just one of those things.”
“You're such an ass,” Kaleb chuckles.
“Look, you guys want to parade your women around, want to tell everyone the ins and outs of your relationship... that's up to you. But I didn't want to do that. What me and James have is between me and James. I'm a private man, you know that. I have never alluded to anything different, so yeah, you might be a little miffed that you knew nothing about her or didn’t attend our wedding, but it's nothing new. Yeah I am an ass, but you knew that from the get go,” I puff my cheeks out and run my hand through my hair, ruffling it slightly. My back is up a little and I know they don't mean anything personally with their words, but it still gets under my skin.
“Fair,” Keaton whistles through his teeth, moving from foot to foot, his eyes on me. “Why my nanny though, man?” he asks, lips turned down slightly and my eyes skim to Kaleb and I can see the cogs turning in that pretty head of his.
He is trying to think where he knows her from.
And I know it is not going to take him long to put the pieces together.
“Cos I liked her way before she was your nanny,” my brows lift as I take a large mouthful of my beer.
“She's the girl from the apple shop, isn't she?!” he hisses, trying to keep his voice down and all their eyes are on me.
“Maybe?” I am back to shrugging and keeping my answers vague.
“Oh my God,” Kaleb laughs, his head falling forward as he shakes it from side to side. “Now it all makes sense,” he kicks the toe of his sneaker into the floor before his face lifts and his sights are set on me. “You got all funny when you saw her in that shop, is this why? Cos you had a crush on her and you ran?”
“Not at all, you know nothing dickhead,” and my tone is laced with venom.
“Caught a nerve there,” Keaton chuckles and I flip him off.
“Anyway, can we change the subject? Kaleb,” I turn my attention to him, “are you all set for the big day Sunday?”
“Think so, I mean, I can't take any credit cos Connie has planned it all,” his eyes shift for a moment, they go all hazy and shit and I know his mind has taken him to his wife to be.
“I cannot wait for the best man speech,” Keaton nudges Titus and he lets out a low groan.
“God help us all,” Kaleb sighs, shaking his head from side to side.
“It's all good brother, I promise.” Keaton nods a little more enthusiastically, closing his eyes for a moment, lips pouting.
“You're fucked,” Killian chuckles, lifting his beer and draining the bottle.
“Don't I know it,” he sighs, “don't I know it.”
We're in the car and driving up to our cottage a few miles up. We're still on the same road as where Connie and Kaleb's cottage is, sitting on the edge of the beach cove.
“So, was it as bad as you thought?” I look over at her, her eyes are pinned to the passing by landscape. She looks so pretty. Basic lounge wear, hair away from her face, freckles painted across her pale skin.
“No,” she sighs before rolling her head to face me, “it wasn't,” she smiles softly. “They were all real nice, Connie scares me a bit though.”
I scoff a laugh.
“Don't be scared of her, she's a big cuddly bear. She's just confident, likes to be the leader,” I tell her, fingers tapping on the steering wheel.
“Noted,” she nods. “Amora seems really nice, very sweet and down to earth. I love her accent.”
“Yeah, she is really nice,” I agree with her as I turn my blinker on and pull into the pebbled driveway then cut the engine.
The cottage is light brick built, gray roof tiles, white sash windows with matching gray shutters that are closed over the windows.
The grass front runs all the way down to the white picket fence line, stops at the sidewalk and small road before leading you out onto the beach cove.
“It's so beautiful here.”
“It is, isn't it. It's so peaceful as well, unlike the city,” I turn to face her, and her eyes are already on mine.
“Could you live out here?”
“Hmm,” I hum for a moment, “I would like to think I could, but then I think I would get bored... does that make sense? Like I do love the city, I love how accessible everything is. Want a coffee at three in the morning and take out? Cool, we've got it there. Here, well, you probably have to drive to everything, take out would no doubt be non-existent, shops would be miles away...” I trail off.
“So in short, the answer is no?” she smirks at me and I laugh softly.
“Yeah, it would be no.”
“Interesting,” she drums her finger against those luscious lips.
“What about you? Could you live here?” I ask her, turning my body to face her a little more now.
“Maybe?” she looks out the window and the picturesque road, but I watch as her nose scrunches. “But I'm a country girl at heart, always wanted to go back to Blossom Cove, just outside Montana. This was never my dream.”
I sit and listen without uttering a word. I knew all of this. I knew everything about her. But I still sat quietly.
“Always wanted to become an equine vet, got into college in the city with the dreams to go back home where I belonged, where I wanted to be, but then I met Rune. And well, that's kind of where the dream stopped.”
“That dream is still within reach, you know that right?”
She looks at me all sad and soppy, eyes a little heavy, cheeks slightly damp.
“Not now,” she shakes her head, a smile on her face as she holds her hand up and shows me her wedding band like I would forget that we were married.
“This is just an arrangement, a year or so if that,” I swallow down the thickness that coats my throat because I know deep down I don't want this to end and I know that I will do everything in my power to not let her go. “You'll get money, you can go move back to where you want to and live out your dream in the rolling green hills of Montana.”
“That's a pretty picture and a pretty thought but...” she blinks and a single tear glistens down her cheek.
“But nothing, if you don't do it, I’ll make you do it.”
And that cements the fact that maybe I will be leaving the city after all.
Damn.
Unloading the trunk, we walk up to the beach cottage and she unlocks it, pushing the door with a little force as she steps inside and looks around the quaint cottage.
The walls are light gray, white panelling sitting three quarters of the way up. Black ceiling lights hang, with black frames and black accessories dotted around. It's a pretty similar layout to Kaleb and Connie's cottage, The Love Shack.
I drop the bags and watch as James moves around the room then climbs the stairs, fingers curled around the handrail before she disappears.
Moving into the kitchen, I look in the cupboards and refrigerator and groan at the emptiness before closing the door.
Her footsteps echo around the quiet cottage and her eyes are wide as she stands in the archway of the kitchen.
“What's wrong?” my brows furrow as her eyes bounce between mine.
“There's only one bed,” she whispers.
“What?” I snap, but not at her, more at the situation. I run my hand through my hair, then I drag it down my face and scrub at it. “It definitely said two rooms...” I trail off and walk past her as I climb the stairs two at a time, walking down the narrow hallway and look in the main bedroom.
I scoff, turning around and heading back towards the stairs. There is nowhere else for another room to be, the only other door is for the restroom.
“Great,” I groan, my voice thick with gravel and I hear her cough at the bottom of the stairs.
“I'll take the couch,” she offers sweetly.
“No, you won't,” and my answer is assertive as I jog down the stairs and stop in front of her, hand cupping her cheek in an automatic motion. “You'll take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch, it's only a couple of nights.”
She stares all wide-eyed at me, her lips parting as if she wants to say something but then later decides against it so she agrees with a subtle nod.
“I'm going to...” she twists her face to the stairs, then turns back to face me, eyes on her case and I smile, moving towards the kitchen.
“James?” I call out and her head pops around the archway.
“Yeah?”
“Can I hang my suit in the closet? Don't want it to crease,” and I eye my suit hanging in its bag on the doorframe of the small hallway that leads to the front of the cottage.
“Of course,” she looks a little shocked that I have asked but I didn't want to assume.
“Thanks,” I go about my business and wait to hear her footsteps leading away to upstairs and once I know she is out of sight, I sigh.
I think this is going to be harder than I first thought. I needed to send the contract off because then I know in my head that she is forbidden. I know in my head that I can't go near her because it is there in black and white, along with an NDA.
It’s worthless just sitting in my top drawer.
Slipping my phone out, I shoot my lawyer a message asking him to collect it this weekend. She is just part of the bigger plan, the bigger picture. I needed her as much as she needed me, maybe more.
Have I dug my heels in a bit deeper than I should have? Yes.
I could have been well underway with looking into Secure Corp by now and this embezzlement claim but I haven't wanted to. I've enjoyed having her with me, and I know it's not going to take me long to deal with this shit and once I have dealt with it, she is free to leave.
Truthfully, I am not ready for that.
But I can't keep her past the term date.
We both agreed. It was just until all of this was sorted out.
She didn't need to know the want to marry her.
I didn't need to anyway.
But I wanted to.
That was the difference.
And in some sort of sick and twisted way, I hoped that she wanted it too.
But after the truths begin to spill, which they will because lies can only be buried for so long, she'll want nothing to do with me anyway.
“Nate,” the sound of her angelic voice floats around the small area and my skin prickles in goosebumps.
“Yeah?” I walk slowly out of the kitchen and lean against the door frame, eyes skating over her body.
“What's the plan?”
“Plan?” my brows knit for a moment.
“Yeah, like this weekend, what's on the agenda?”
“Well,” I puff out a heavy breath and fold my arms across my chest. “Tonight is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday couples breakfast with the in-laws... that includes us too,” I give her the eyes over my glasses, “and then it's some weird couple activities shit and then Sunday is the wedding.”
“Okay,” she nods, “so we're out for dinner tonight...”
“We will probably eat out mainly, we don't want to be held up in here do we?”
I say that in the nicest way possible. Because if I am here with her, just us, constantly, I will snap.
And I can't do that.
I cannot or will not cross that line.
“We need some groceries though,” she nods towards the bare kitchen.
“Have you finished unpacking?” I ask her as I step into the open-planned living area and she bobs her head.
“Okay, let me get this suit hung up and then we can head to the store, pick up some essentials. Do you need toiletries?” and her brows furrow tightly together, small creases paint across her forehead.
“I have brought everything I need,” her cheeks turn pink and I am hoping that she doesn't think I am trying to insinuate about her monthlies.
“Okay, so just food?”
“And milk...”
“Of course,” I rush the words out as I unhook the suit from the doorframe and pass her, jogging up the stairs and once I am away from her, my lungs open and I inhale heavily, filling my chest.
I close my eyes for a moment, just to give myself a second or two before I am consumed heavily with her scent, consumed with everything about her, consumed with all that she is.
I am fucked.
Doomed.
This is the doomsday effect, and I have put myself here willingly, but I know deep inside my rattly old chest where my heart barely beats, that she can fill the gaping void. She can make me feel again, make my heart beat to a song that only she knows, that only she can orchestrate there... she is the one that can change it all.
I just don't know whether she will.
And if she doesn’t, then that will be it for me.
I will never put myself in a situation like this again.
I am not a gambling man, but with her, I gambled it all.
Gambled everything on red.
My Little Ember.
I just hoped for both of our sakes that this works out for the both of us.
Opening my eyes, I paint my game face on and jog down the stairs to see her waiting for me, leant up against the door frame I once was, head lowered, eyes pinned to her phone as her thumbs dance across the screen.
“Ready?” I ask as I approach her and she smiles at me, eyes all glistening and she locks her phone, slipping it into her over shoulder bag.
“Yeah, sorry, was just speaking to Brooke.”
“You don't have to apologise... everything okay?” and fear pricks at the base of my neck knowing that her and Heidi are watching over Jeff.
“Yeah fine, she has just got there, Heidi is going to stay there tonight as Brooke needs to start prepping for her meeting next week.”
“Oh of course, is this for her app thing?”
“Yeah,” she nods as she opens the front door and steps out onto the grass, “she is hoping this investor will fund it a little more, she was talking about needing a new server or something, the one she has isn't running properly,” she waves her hand in the air as if she doesn't really understand what it's all about as I lock the door behind us and open the passenger side for my wife.
My wife .
“I can look into that for her as well as the investor, I mean, I do work in IT...”
She blinks at me as she climbs in the car. “She's doesn't need an investor for that, I could upgrade her servers free of charge.”
“Really? You wouldn't mind?”
“Of course not,” I smile at her, checking her belt as I close the door behind her then make my way around to the driver’s side. “She is doing me a favour by watching over Jeff, least I can do is check out the server that is hosting her business.”
And she looks all sappy at me, a beaming smile and pretty glistening eyes as she slips her phone out and taps on her phone screen.
“What else is this investor meant to be putting into the business?”
“More money, better equipment... I mean, not sure if it needs better equipment, people rave about it...” she trails off.
“Do you rave about it?”
Her head snaps up, eyes wide as her lips open and shut like a damn fish under water.
“No,” her cheeks burn a deep crimson, and I chuckle as I stick the car into reverse and pull off the drive. “I haven't used it, it's still sealed in the box,” and I can see how this has affected her, her chest is rising and falling a little quicker, eyes bouncing out the front of the car and her fingers tap on the center arm rest.
“Maybe you should? I am sure she would like your feedback...”
“I'm not sure... the thought of chatting to someone online and letting them control the device...”
“The sex toy,” I laugh as we pass Connie and Kaleb's and she screeches.
“Oh my God, stop it,” her hands covering her face.
“Why are you being all coy? Are you not into anything like that?”
“Not that it's any of your concern,” she says as she slowly peels her hands from her face and I don’t expect her to continue, but she does, “but no, not really... never really had the chance to use anything like that. Just kind of... you know...”
And I do know.
I know exactly what she is talking about because like the sick bastard I am, I watched her pleasure herself with her own hand and my cock throbs in my pants at the thought of how submissive she would be under me, how much she would enjoy learning about herself, and I would love to be the one to teach her. Show her how her body would react to such things, to certain ways and so on...
“Maybe have an open mind, couple of glasses of wine and give it a go. It's clearly good, the fact that she already has someone interested. It's a great product from what she was saying the other day.”
And she isn't looking at me. Her eyes are fixed to the passing scenery outside the window.
“Brooke replied saying thank you, she would appreciate you looking at it if it's not too much to ask.”
“Not a problem, I'll have a look before we leave for the Maldives.”
“And when are you going to look into Secure Corp? You know, the job I came to you about,” and I don't miss the sharpness in her tone, and I hate it.
“I've already started looking into it.”
Lies .
Well, I’ve looked at certain bits, but not what she asked me for.
“And?”
“Nothing yet, security is pretty tight. Will take me a while to get into.”
Another lie .
“Can you not just see where the money is going?” she asks me as if it is that simple.
“Unfortunately, not,” I give her a tongue in cheek look before my eyes are back on the road. “But rest assured,” I rumble as I pull into the parking lot, “I will get through it and everything will be all laid out bare in front of me.”
“Okay,” she rolls her lips.
“Why are you so focused on this company?”
“Because my ex was a lying piece of shit, I never trusted his father and well, he was starting to follow in those arrogant footsteps.”
I stay silent as I roll the car to a stop.
“And the fact that there is another brother, I don't think it is fair that he has been removed from the situation, it's like he never existed. But I have seen his name on legal documentation when I was snooping. I know there is something that they're hiding, and I want to know what it is,” her tone is full of fire and I can see it dancing in her eyes.
“Did they ever have any photos of the brother?” She stays mute and shakes her head from side to side.
“And whenever I brought it up in conversation, I would just get ignored or told he cut all ties with the family.”
I swallow down the words that she spills.
“How lovely of them.” I force a smile onto my face as I cut the engine. “But don't you worry Little Ember, they will pay, and I will turn their business inside fucking out. Breaking it up, piece by piece and I will sell it off until there is nothing left. Trust me, they will not get away with it.”
She blinks at me a couple of times.
“What does that mean?” she whispers.
“It means I am going to ruin them; they will never come back from this...” I tighten my grip around the steering wheel as I try and slow my erratic heart. “I will bankrupt them.”
A small gasp leaves her lips.
“Where will their money go? Will that disappear?”
I turn to face her, arm reaching across as I scoop her hand in mine.
“No, baby, I will find the brother and give him every damn cent,” I smile. “I will bleed them dry.”
“You promise?” and her voice is trembling as she breathes out the words.
“I fucking promise.”