Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
JAMES
We sit at the restaurant, kids are sat next to their parents, coloring, toys and their tablets all set out in front of them. Connie orders a round of mimosas and some bread and olive oil.
My heart stutters in my chest, my eyes keep betraying me and slicing over to where Nate sits next to me, and I am struggling to breathe with him being so close.
I know there is probably so much more he wanted to say, and I know when I started the conversation about what happened this morning, it wasn't about Rune. I wanted to talk about what happened, the way his lips dusted against mine, the way his arm pulled me into him, the way my body moulded against his. Anything could have happened, and I would have let it.
I wouldn't have cared about the contract which would have been so reckless of me. Because if anything did happen between us, the contract is void, there would be no money, and my pipeline dream would go up in smoke.
I couldn't risk that.
Not for one night.
It doesn't matter how much I want my husband; I have to keep my distance because this morning was too close.
I would like to think Nate wouldn't be so cruel that if something did happen, that he would cancel our arrangement. He needs me for something, otherwise he wouldn't have asked me to marry him.
There is always the other side.
And that's what I have to remember.
He. Needs. Me.
His hand slips onto my bare thigh and the butterflies explode in my stomach, my head lifts and my eyes gaze across to his.
I know this is for show.
I know this is just a part for him.
But what scares me is that I am starting to develop feelings for him.
And I am not ready to have my heart broken.
We're just a job.
We both want the same outcome.
To destroy Secure Corp and get Rayden his money.
The ghost of the Atthill Family.
The one that no one talks about.
No photos.
No proof of his existence.
But I know he is out there somewhere and I will find him, and if I can't, I know Nate will.
I still when Nate leans over, his lips brushing against my ear. “You look beautiful,” and my skin erupts in goosebumps, and I hate that this is all we will be.
There is something between us.
I can feel it and I know he can too.
But we're both resisting.
Because we know it will never work out the way we want it to, and that's the hardest part. Do we want to sacrifice all of this for one night?
I hired him to take down Secure Corp, he hired me to play his wife.
I get it. I wouldn't want to sit here, amongst all these loved up couples and be alone.
He was always alone.
But here and now, he didn't need to be. Because he had me.
I smile at him, and I catch his intense gaze with mine.
“Thank you,” I whisper back to him.
“But please know this,” he pauses, his eyes falling to my lips and I hear my breath catch at the back of my throat. “You will never not be beautiful to me, wife. You are the definition of beauty.”
And my heart thumps against my ribs.
I want to lean into him, just so our lips touch, just so I can feel how I imagine his lips will feel on mine.
But he turns in his seat and reaches for two mimosas, placing one in front of me.
Connie stands at the foot of the table, tapping her engagement ring band on the glass.
Chatter silences around us, apart from the kids of course and all eyes are on her.
“I just want to thank each and every one of you that have made the effort to turn up for our special weekend...” her speech is interrupted by two newbies. The group must know who they are because smiles widen and eyes alight.
“So sorry we're late.”
British voices fill the room. Both dark haired, both covered in tattoos and both devastatingly stunning.
“Oh my God!” Connie screeches and rushes over to them.
“That's Dex and Sage,” Nate confirms and I nod.
“We're so sorry, flight got delayed and then we had to settle Hudson with Rhaegar before we got here,” she is flustered and Connie waves her off.
“None of that matters, you're here now,” she pulls Sage forward and sits her in a seat, Dex leaning over and shaking hands before his eyes are on me.
“Newbie?” he smirks looking between me and Nate.
“Dexter,” Nate curls his lip and sits a little taller. “This is my wife, James.”
“Kept her a secret didn't you,” his smile widens as he licks his lip.
I wink and my shoulders vibrate as a laugh escapes.
“Anyway!” Connie calls out, “To us!” she chimes and the table cheers.
This.
This is family.
And truthfully.
I never wanted to leave.
“Is everyone ready?” Connie has a playful expression on her face and my stomach knots.
“Yeah,” Nate speaks up and he sounds so disinterested in what we’re about to do.
No one has been told, it’s top secret but all we know is that it’s for couples which makes me feel a little awkward because me and Nate don’t really know each other and if it’s something that requires knowledge of each other then I have no idea how we will do.
“We will meet you back at our cottage,” Royal says softly as she pushes a double stroller with the twins in, Xavier is holding Twyla in a back carrier and Celeste is holding his hand.
“Bye grandad,” Killian waves and Xavier spins with a thunderous look and flips him off as he walks off into the distance.
I lean in against Nate as his hand finds mine, our fingers weaving.
“Why do I feel nervous?” I whisper as we begin to walk down towards the taxi station.
“It’s not just you, I feel nervous too. Connie is a piece of work at times, and I just know she would have planned something to make everyone feel awkward as hell,” and a sigh vibrates through me, “but, she does know how to have fun so I can guarantee it will be a laugh too.”
“I hope there is alcohol involved.” I smirk as I lean my head on his arm and all couples walk together lost in their own conversations.
“Are you having a nice time?” He asks me, his voice low.
“Yeah, I didn’t realise how much I needed the break. So, thank you for letting me come.”
He slows his steps. “You never have to thank me, Little Ember.”
“I know, but I want to,” and my voice cracks because as much as this whole arrangement is going to break my heart into a million pieces, I am so glad I accepted his offer and I know people will think I am mad but this life is short, I’ve lost too many too soon and I’m not going to live my life any other way than how I want it to be.
We slow as we approach the waiting area and Connie swoops into the office booking a minivan for us all.
“All sorted, will be about ten minutes,” her hand slips into Kaleb’s and he leans down and kisses her on the forehead.
“I can’t believe I get to marry you tomorrow,” he smiles as his lips lower and dust over hers.
“Kaleb, stop trying it on with my daughter,” and Kaleb lets his head drop back.
“You got caught by your father-in-law,” Keaton chuckles as Arizona wraps her arms around his body and rests her head on his chest.
“Don't you get cocky, I am watching you,” Titus growls and Keaton rolls his eyes in an over exaggerated manner and I laugh softly.
“This is so fucked up,” Nate sighs and looks around at the group.
“Why?” I look up at him as I ask.
“Just... I dunno,” he shrugs, and I am not sure if that is just a way out of answering or whether his earlier comment was an off the cuff remark.
I twist and look at the group and I see nothing fucked up about it, just five couples in love. Granted, who fell in love with people they maybe shouldn't have.
A little forbidden love never hurt anybody.
Connie whistles as the minivan rolls up to the kerb and she ushers everyone on like she's rounding up toddlers and taking them out on a day trip.
Nate rests his hand on my lower back as he stays close behind me and follows me onto the bus. I sit down and Nate slips in beside me, hand resting on my thigh. I don't miss the way my skin tingles under his touch but I brush it off.
“Any idea where we're going yet?” I whisper to him, eyes bouncing over his face.
“Nope,” and his leg is bouncing up and down and I don't know if that's agitation or anxiousness.
I roll my lips and decide to keep quiet for the duration of the short journey.
I didn't want to annoy him if he was agitated. His fingers trail circles on my bare thigh and I suck in my breath, letting it catch at the back of my throat. I endure the teasing of his fingers, and I was grateful when the minivan slowed to a soft halt and I shoot up quickly.
He stands and steps out, holding his hand out for me to take it, and I do. We were falling into this part far too easily and I was terrified of what would happen when it came to me leaving.
What if I fall too hard and can never find my footing again? What if he makes me fall anyway and then my heart is left bleeding on the gravel at his feet?
And I know deep down that he will break me.
Shattering me into a million pieces.
I know it is coming.
But I can’t stop myself.
I am falling.
Standing outside what looks like an old run-down strip club, our mouths are agape.
“What the fuck?” Killian growls beside us, Reese is smiling from ear to ear, Connie is all giddy and glassy eyed as she looks up at the name ‘ PussyCatz’. Kaleb's hand is around the back of his head as he rubs out the tension in his neck, Titus covers his mouth with his hand and Amora is just blinking in disbelief at the sight in front of us. Dex rubs his hands together, Sage is bouncing softly from foot to foot, Keaton is giggling like a child behind his hand, Arizona looks as excited as Sage and I am frozen. Nate… well, Nate looks shocked to his core.
“I've hired this club.”
“Why?” Killian's head swings around to look at his daughter with pure confusion on his face and I know there is a layer of anger laced through.
“So we can do pole dancing,” and Killian chokes on his breath, Reese turns to look at him and gives him a hard swat on the back to which he looks down at her with pinched brows.
“You knew about this?” She has a wide grin on her face as she nods over and over.
“Fucking hell,” he groans, head tipping back.
“You can't be serious?” Titus asks as he looks down the line towards Connie.
“Why wouldn't I be serious?” she asks, her brows sitting high in her head.
“Because why would I want to watch my daughter up on the stage, dancing around a pole?”
“I mean, I have seen your daughter Titus... she's fucking amazing,” Keaton pipes up and Nate face palms himself just as Titus' nostrils flare and he storms down towards where his friend stands, laughing but not before tucking himself behind Arizona.
“Well, obviously we're not going to be doing it in front of other people...” she screws her face in disgust, “that's rotten.” She crosses her arms across her chest. “Everyone will have their own room, we have an hour in there... and then we're going out on the boats for champagne and finger sandwiches.”
“Brilliant, sounds like an amazing day,” Keaton wiggles his brows, wrapping his arms around his wife's waist and Titus turns and storms back down the line to where Amora is trying not to laugh.
“What the fuck?” I whisper, and I feel sick to my stomach.
“We don't have to do anything, we can just duck out if you want,” Nate suggests, looking around the derelict parking lot. We are literally in the middle of nowhere.
“We can't do that,” I shake my head, and my heart is fucking thumping in my chest at rapid speed.
“Okay well we can just sit and... talk?” Nate offers and I half nod, half shrug a shoulder up.
“Are we ready gang?” Connie claps her hands together and I see Killian staring down Kaleb who just returns his gaze with a cocky smirk and a lift of his shoulder before Connie drags Kaleb towards the club.
“This is so fucking wrong,” Killian grunts as Reese takes the lead.
“Don't be grumpy old man, I’m sure you're going to have a real good time.”
Keaton laughs before Ari follows suit, walking a little quicker to get into the club and Titus grumbles beside us.
“This shit can't be real right?” He looks at Nate for some kind of clarification but Nate just stares. “Good chat,” he lets his head fall back as Amora places her hand in his and leads him away and then it's just me and Nate.
Dex and Sage walked in with Connie and Kaleb. They seemed excited.
“We don't have to do this,” Nate whispers, his fingers intwining with mine.
“I know,” I turn and look at my husband, his gaze catching mine and not letting it drop. “But it's fine, I want to do it...” and I even shock myself at the words that come out of my mouth.
He keeps quiet for a moment, his eyes burning into my soul and my heart stutters deep inside my chest.
“If it gets too much...”
“I know,” I nod, and with one heavy intake of breath, I am leading him—my husband—into the strip club.
This is not what I had in mind when they said about couples activities.
But I'm sure it'll be fun.
Right?
NATE
My grasp tightens on hers as she leads me into the dimly lit club, it smells stale and I'll be honest, if this was my club, I would not let it get as run down as it has.
“Well,” Dex looks around the club, hands clasped in front of himself, and Sage looks up at him. “It has potential,” and he looks down at her.
“Guys, come on, we've come to have fun,” Connie dances on the spot. She is dressed in cycling shorts and an oversized tee, her long, brown hair pulled into a neat ponytail. “Not to look at whether the club has,” and she air quotes, “ potential. ”
And I chuckle. I would beat them to it anyway.
Not that I want it.
But the chase is always the best part.
No one knows about my club.
No one knows about what happens in my club.
But one person matters at the moment, and that's James.
Maybe I will take her there, but I know I wouldn't be able to not touch her if I did.
She's too tempting.
My Little Ember.
And I know she will burn me when I finally get the chance, scarring my skin in the process.
“Okay, ladies... and gents,” she wiggles her brows at Dex and all the girls cat call. “There are new, clean outfits in the rooms, if you wanted to get changed because let’s be honest, none of us aren’t really dressed for the occasion,” and she looks with her nose turned up at our outfit choices.
“Well,” I pipe up, “if we would have known about it?—”
She shuts me down. “Nate, now is not the time.”
I roll my eyes, head tipping back as annoyance pricks at my skin and I hear a few low chuckles echo around the room.
“I thought we would be painting or something,” Amora pipes up, cheeks pinched red.
“Painting what?” Titus has a playful smirk on his face as he looks down at his wife and her cheeks turn redder as all eyes on her.
She stays mute.
“I thought it would be a bottomless brunch,” Arizona sighs and Keaton pulls her close.
“But this is so much better,” he whispers in her ear, loud enough for Titus to hear which gains a low growl from him. Amora's hand is on his chest, trying to calm him down and I know that this is going to kick off if we don't get a shift on.
“Well, it was none of those. This is what we had planned, dancing and then champagne out on the sea.”
The room falls silent, and I am not sure whether she is upset or angry.
“This is just how she goes,” I tell James as I know she is probably feeling the same as me.
“Darling,” Kaleb wraps his arm around her and places a kiss on the top of her head, “everyone is going to have a great time.”
We all nod as enthusiastically as we can.
At the end of the day, this might not be our idea of fun, but it is hers, and it is her and Kaleb's wedding weekend and if this is what she chose to do then you can bet your asses we're all going to show up and join in.
Because that's who we are.
We're a family.
Connie turns her watch to face her as she clocks the time then claps her hand loud, causing it to echo around the room.
“I'll grab the keys for each of your rooms. I have already been in, changed the sheets, disinfected the pole etc...”
James’ eyes widen.
“It'll be okay,” I reassure her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and keeping her close to me. I can feel the way her breathing has changed, it was soft and slow but now it is fast and ragged, her shoulders lifting and dropping a little quicker.
Connie skips off towards reception and the silence is deafening.
“I can't believe this is about to happen,” Killian huffs, crossing his arms across his chest.
“I know, but it could be worse,” Keaton shrugs his shoulders nonchalant and his lips tug into a smirk.
“How? Please tell me how it could be worse when I know that my daughter is going to be in there... you know.”
“She could be saving herself for marriage,” he slips in and Reese chokes on her breath, eyes widening.
“Yeah,” Keaton steps towards his friend and wraps his hand over his shoulder, “I don't think that's the case.”
Titus grumbles and mutters something under his breath.
“Speak up bud, we couldn't hear you,” I say a little louder trying to stir the pot.
Titus gives me a dagger stare and I smile, a soft laugh bubbling through me.
“I said it could be worse, you could actually know your daughter has done it with your best friend because she birthed two boys...” and Arizona rolls her eyes.
“Seriously.”
“Seriously,” Titus grunts.
“Could be even worse knowing that she will be one of the better ones at this seeing as it was her job,” Keaton taunts, dangling the red sheet in front of the raging bull.
Titus flies forward but Kaleb steps in to save the day like always, but not before slapping his twin brother around the back of the head.
“Now, you two, can we please just stop with the comments. This is about Connie, and what she wants for this weekend. So can we for one second stop making it about the rest of you?” I can tell he is worked up, his nostrils flaring as he looks between his best friend and his brother, but Keaton and Titus' eyes are locked on each other and with bated breath, they both finally nod, silently agreeing to stop with the comments. “Thank you, now smile like you love each other and get over it,” he snaps, a smile plastered on his face just as Connie walks over with a spring in her step, keys jangling in hand.
“Ready?” Connie squeals as she passes a key to each of the girls.
“Ready as we'll ever be,” Amora answers for all of us, but I can see Arizona and Sage are buzzing to get into those rooms.
“Just in case you didn't know... Arizona used to be a dancer, along with Sage, at their club.” I say to James and her eyes widen before softening. She nods.
That's when I realise, she did in fact not know that Arizona used to be a dancer.
But now she does.
And I am sure as hell that it'll make work awkward next time she has to go in.
I chuckle softly just as Ari's eyes skate across to James. Her cheeks turn pink and Ari knows she knows.
“Come,” I whisper as James clings onto the keys and I lead her down the corridor towards our room. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little excited, whether anything happens in there or not, I am excited none the less.
Her fingers twist with mine, and I know she is getting nervous.
“You have nothing to be nervous about,” I reassure her as we stop outside the room, and I push her in front of me. She catches my gaze over her shoulder and gives me a soft smile.
“I know,” she whispers before turning forward and slipping the key into the lock and with one twist the door opens.
My heart is jack hammering in my chest, and I know hers will be doing the same. After this morning, this couldn't have come at a worse time, but here we are.
We either move on, or we stay frozen in a moment that we can't undo. But whatever happens, I am just grateful that I have her by my side and I am by hers.
Closing the door softly behind me, my eyes search around the room and I am surprised at how clean the room is and fresh compared to the outside.
“Huh,” the surprised sound escapes James as she turns to look at me.
“I know,” I smirk and step further into the room.
There is a circular bed in the center of the room, a pole in front of that with two armchairs either side. The floors are hardwood, but there is a shaggy rug around the foot of the pole.
My lip curls in distaste and I am unsure whether Connie added that or whether it was already here. To the left of the pole is a hardwood sideboard with a few drawers. It piques my interest, so I walk over cautiously and pull the drawer open to seen condoms, lube, blindfolds and handcuffs.
“She's covered all areas,” I laugh over my words and look over my shoulder at James.
She sits on the edge of the bed, eyes bouncing around the room and I see the way her chest is rising and falling.
“Are you okay?” I ask as I fold my hand into my pocket, closing the gap. I look down at her, eyes soft.
She just stares at me and the longer it goes on, the more I worry.
But she nods at me.
“I am,” she smiles, lips pressing into the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile.
“Good,” and I find myself brushing a loose strand of her fiery red hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear. “You really are beautiful James, I hope your ex made sure you knew that.”
She drops her face, fingers locked into her lap, and I suck in a breath, my heart twists in my chest. Gliding my hand down, I grip her chin with my finger and thumb, lifting her face up so she has no choice but to look at me.
“Please tell me he did?” and my eyes are volleying between hers and I can tell by the way her eyes prick with tears that he never did. “What a bastard,” I sigh and lower myself down, so my lips are inches from hers. “Well if he didn't, let me make sure you never not know just how beautiful you are, Little Ember.”
I don't miss the soft gasp that passes her lips, and I am so fucking desperate to kiss her. So, fucking desperate to feel the way her lips feel on mine, the way our tongues would dance together. Restraining myself around her is becoming harder and harder as the minutes slip past us.
“Is that okay?” I whisper against her lips, and I know I am playing with fire.
She nods, and I feel her chin wobble under my grip. I don't want her to cry. No one deserves her tears.
“Good, then let me spend the time we have together worshipping you James,” and I step back, releasing her face softly and my fingertips tingle and in that moment, I know she is my kryptonite.
I will never get enough of her.
But when the time comes for her to leave me, I know I will crumble into nothing but ash because she will destroy every piece of me in her wake.
She will be my greatest undoing.
Or my worst.