Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Sophia
The heat of the cocoon I’m buried in wakes me. Only, I’m not in a cocoon, well, not really. I’m encased in a Tate blanket. His front is tightly against my back. His arms are wrapped around me, and his leg is over mine. My instincts tell me to slither out of his death grip and pretend that I didn’t love being warmed by his lean muscles. Fuck. He is not even human. I can feel each ab pressed against my back. If he wakes, he could probably feel each roll around my lower abdomen. He hasn’t seen me naked, and I think that we should keep it that way.
But there’s a growing part of my mind that keeps wondering what it would be like to really kiss him. If his pretend kiss was that good, then goddamn, his real kisses must be off the hook.
I silently groan. I should just consider myself lucky that I even know what it’s like to kiss Tate Anders. I can live on that one kiss for at least a decade. Nothing could possibly ever top it.
I feel Tate’s warm breath against my head, and I relax into his firm grip, letting myself live a fantasy for another minute. What would it be like to wake up this way every morning? To have someone like Tate love me.
Lacey is an idiot. I get she doesn’t want kids and that’s cool, but it seemed like Tate always wanted them. Why would she drag their relationship on for so long?
I feel his morning wood against my ass crack and suddenly that answer seems very clear. If Tate can kiss like some sort of Greek god of kissing, then what must he be like in the sack? A fucking golden god, that’s what.
And in that moment, the realization of all realizations hits me like a ton of bricks, no, a ton of concrete blocks. Oh fuck. I’m beyond crushing hard on this man. I have developed actual feelings for him. I’m falling in love with Tate Anders.
No. No, no, no! This is bad, so bad. I can’t. Can I? Nope. No.
I can be his friend. Yes, friends. That’s all this is. I slowly pull Tate’s arm away from me, attempting to get out of his hold, but he doubles down and latches on to me like a life raft.
“Ten more minutes, M,” he says against my hair.
“You’re awake!” I yelp.
“Yes. I’m so comfortable. You’re the best pillow in the history of pillows, so stop moving,” he grumbles.
“You are like a personal sauna. What’s your resting temperature, one oh one?” I ask.
“One oh two,” he teases. His nose nuzzles my hair and I hear him breathe in deeply. “Whatever shampoo you use, never stop using it. Your hair smells like oranges and vanilla.”
“Noted,” I say with an eye roll.
“Stop rolling your eyes,” he whispers.
“I wasn’t,” I lie. His hand reaches forward, and he tickles me. “Stop!” I screech as I giggle.
“Then stop lying, M,” he says as he grips me again tightly.
“We should get up,” I protest as I reach for my phone and look at the time. We have one missed text from Rex asking if anyone is up yet and what time should we head out to Devil’s Tower.
Our phones both buzz with another text.
Penn: Lazy fuckers, hurry up. It’s time to get our hiking on.
I groan. “Why does hiking sound like a scary word when Penn says it?”
“Because it is. But don’t worry, I can carry you back to the car if we get lost,” Tate says and the memory of me slung over his shoulder last night comes hurdling back at me like a race car out of control.
“OK, let’s get up,” I declare as I pry myself from his death grip, not wanting to spend any more time replaying that memory because nothing good can come of it.
Tate lets me go and I get up, grabbing my clothes and hurrying into the bathroom. Leaning against the door for a moment, I take a deep breath. I only have today and then he’ll be back with Lacey. I need to get my feelings under control or I’m going to get hurt. And I’m not sure I can handle getting hurt again. I feel like it’s only been this past year that I truly feel over Mark. I don’t want to ever feel that way again.
I’m ready in ten minutes and I try not to look at Tate as I get my things back in my bag. He goes to the bathroom and I decide to head out to the car. The less time I’m alone with him, the better.
“I’ll meet you at the car,” I yell through the door before leaving quickly so he can’t answer me.
I find Penn, Rex, and Jordan standing next to my SUV. “Wow, did you guys already grab?—”
“Breakfast?” Penn asks as he holds up a box of donuts and hands me a coffee from the drink holder that Jordan is holding.
“Oh, thanks,” I reply.
“Where’s lover boy? We need to get a move on,” Jordan says.
“How’d you sleep?” Rex asks, and I can’t be sure, but I swear he’s fighting a smirk.
“Good, and you guys?” I ask, trying to keep my face neutral.
I get a grumble of goods from them as I unlock the car, and everyone starts loading it. A minute later, Tate arrives and Jordan takes a turn at the wheel as we head to our last and final stop before Lacey.
Today’s drive is much shorter than yesterday’s long day. The car ride is filled with funny stories, mostly about Penn and Tate’s camping trip where Tate got so bitten by mosquitoes he had to lather his entire body in cortisone cream. The stories give way to a singalong after lunch. The four of them applaud my ability to hit the high notes in Sia’s “Alive.” I warn them that they are too good for my self-confidence, and if they keep it up, I might go for intergalactic domination.
We pull into the park around Devil’s Tower in the afternoon with Penn making us promise him that we’ll go for a hike.
“I don’t know. That story of you and Tate has me scared,” I admit as we get out of the car to stretch our legs.
“We’ll do Tower Trail. See, it’s easy and not long,” Penn promises as he points at a trail map. I look nervously at it but reluctantly agree.
“OK, but if it’s too long, then someone has to carry me back,” I tease.
Tate leans over me from behind. “I already promised to do that, M,” he whispers, and I feel my skin prick with the awareness of his proximity.
I step away before the others can see my reaction to him. “OK, let’s do this,” I say in a fake cheerful voice.
“Don’t sound so excited,” Penn states with a laugh.
* * *
“Alright, that wasn’t horrible,” I begrudgingly admit as we make our way back to the car.
“I told you. We could go back and try a harder trail,” Penn says with a mischievous smile. I glare at him, and he laughs.
“No fucking way. Any more walking and someone will need to carry me back,” I grumble as I walk toward the car. We all had teased Penn relentlessly about his puppy dog stares over at the folks climbing Devil’s Tower as we walked. That man reminds me of Anissa. His need for constant adventure is palpable.
“Besides, it’s nearly dinner?—”
I’m mid-sentence when I’m suddenly swooped off my feet. I yelp as Tate throws me over his shoulder to the chuckles of Penn, Jordan, and Rex.
“Hey!” I say loudly.
Tate slaps my ass. “M, chill, people are going to look over here,” he says as he carries me the last twenty feet to the car before setting me down.
I place my hands on my hips, and I get some “ohs” from the guys.
“You can’t manhandle M like that,” Penn says to Tate.
Rex crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. “I think M likes being manhandled.”
I blush. “Shut up, Rex. No woman likes to be randomly manhandled.”
Tate leans in toward my ear. “Lies are not becoming on you.”
I glare at him because he’s right and I hate that. I may have let him read my latest manuscript and I have a feeling that I’m going to regret that. This man is a fast study!
Penn clears his throat and Tate and I look over at him. He’s eyeing us suspiciously. I frown and step away from Tate. “What’s up?” I ask him.
“Nothing,” he says slowly as he glances at Rex and Jordan and then at Tate. “Tate, would you be pissed if we delayed the ‘grand gesture’ day until after tomorrow? I’d love to camp here. The weather tonight is supposed to be legit perfect, and I looked up some local campsites. There’s one that offers gear for rent. And it’ll give us more time to work out logistics with a helicopter pilot.”
We’ve talked off and on today about my ‘grand gesture’ idea. Everyone seems on board with it, but we’ve had a few hiccups in getting some of the details sorted. There’s a flower vendor an hour away but they don’t have the roses, so we had to call one two hours away. They are seeing if they can get enough by tomorrow.
“That’ll give that florist more time,” I point out.
“Do we really need roses and helicopters?” Tate asks me.
“I mean…I think it would help,” I urge. “You could show up with your speech and no bells or whistles, but women like over-the-top stuff…or at least, from what I know of her, I think Lacey would.”
“You don’t,” Tate states.
“Yeah, bro has a point. You just agreed to sleep in a rented tent in the middle of nowhere with four men you’ve known for less than a week,” Penn says.
Rex punches him in the arm and Jordan sighs. “You are a jackass, Penn,” Jordan says as he shakes his head.
“OK, not all women want that, but am I wrong about Lacey?” I ask them.
They all shrug and shuffle their feet. I can tell I’m right and not one of them wants to admit it. “Boys, lesson number one. Some women are high maintenance and those women want more bells and whistles. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just…the level of expectations is different. Plus, Lacey is super famous and I’m guessing used to getting the finer things in life,” I state and then immediately regret my words. I’m making her sound horrible.
“I mean…” I trail off as I search for the right words.
“You aren’t wrong. She is all of those things,” Tate pipes up as he turns to me.
“Let’s take the extra day. We can make some calls tomorrow morning and see what we can do. I’m sure between the five of us, we’ll come up with something,” he says softly as he searches my eyes. I feel like he’s trying to tell me something, but if this is a real game of charades, I’m definitely losing this round.
I watch as Penn makes a phone call to the campground while the other men drink some water from the bottles we bought two stops ago. Sadness washes over me at the thought of all of this coming to an end. But as my gaze travels back to Tate, the sadness only intensifies. Why do I feel like I’m about to lose my best friend? That’s crazy! Maybe I need this trip to come to an end, so I stop falling for a movie star that I have zero chances with. Maybe it’s time for me to get a strong dose of reality.