Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Tate
“Tate,” Sophia whispers.
I groan and roll toward her, prying open one eye. It’s still dark out and I can just barely make out her silhouette.
“What’s wrong?” I say as I sit up and look around us.
“Nothing…I…I have to pee again,” she says.
“Can’t you hold it?” I groan as I lie back down.
“No. You try squeezing two humans out of your vajayjay and then we’ll talk about your ability to not pee all night,” I hiss.
I hold up my hands in defeat. “Fair enough.” I pause and frown. “So, what’s the problem?”
She glares at me. “There could be, like…bears or something out there,” she states as she crosses her arms over her perfect breasts. “Eyes up here, Tate,” she adds as she raises an eyebrow.
I grin. “OK, M. Let’s go make sure you don’t get eaten by a bear while you pee.”
She rolls her eyes and grabs a shirt and some shorts from her bag and I pull out a clean pair of sweatpants and put them on. We both slide on shoes, and I grab the flashlight, shining it out of the tent after unzipping it.
“Let’s go,” I whisper as I hold out my hand to help her out of the tent. She takes it, gripping mine tightly as we walk about thirty feet from the campsite.
“How about here?” I ask, motioning to a large tree.
“I guess,” she says and then looks at me. “Turn around.”
I smirk and turn around. I hear her clothes rustling.
“You good?” I ask after a minute.
“I…can you like walk a little bit away,” she protests.
“Uh-oh, do you have peeing anxiety?” I tease.
“Just…please,” she pleads, and I chuckle.
“OK, M. I’ll be just over here,” I say as I walk about ten feet away to give her privacy.
I hear her sigh and I press my lips together to keep from laughing. She’s so fucking cute, I can barely stand it. I literally just saw her naked body and now she’s shy about peeing.
“You good?” I whisper after a moment.
She taps my arm and I jump. “Jesus, Soph! You almost gave me a heart attack,” I say.
She laughs. “Thanks,” she says, grabbing the flashlight from my hand and starting back to the tent.
“Did you really need me?” I ask as my eyes try to see her fine ass in the darkness.
“Yes, it’s hella scary out here. I thought for sure that skunk was a bear that was going to maul us,” she whispers.
I grin just as something rustles in the woods near us. I instinctively reach out and pull Sophia back against me. Placing my hand over hers, I aim the flashlight at…a raccoon.
“Jesus, trash pandas are stealthy,” she sighs against me as her body relaxes.
“That they are,” I murmur, my hand splaying across her abdomen. I can feel her soft skin under my pinky finger where the hem of her shirt has ridden up and I run my pinky over it. I feel her skin pebble beneath my touch.
She clears her throat. “We should…get back,” she says, her voice breathy.
I slowly let her go and we continue to the tent. When we’re settled back inside our respective sleeping bags, I turn toward her. She does the same and we both stare at each other. Then she rolls over and looks up at the netted part of the tent above us.
“It’s so beautiful up there,” she says quietly, and I roll onto my back next to her. Her hands are folded on her chest and I reach over and take one in mine, entwining our fingers and bringing them down between our bodies.
“It is,” I reply. I turn my face toward hers. “But not as beautiful as what I see down here.”
I can just make out her skin flushing in the dim light, and I smile as I turn back toward the stars.
“Stop being so charming,” she says, and I can hear the teasing tone of her voice. I rub my thumb along hers.
“I can’t help it. You bring out the charming part of me,” I protest. She sighs and I want to know what she’s thinking more than anything but I’m also too chickenshit to ask. I want her so badly it physically hurts. I’ve never felt like this about a woman before…ever. The thought that she’ll turn me down has me feeling like a teenager asking a girl out for the first time, not a grown-ass man who, according to tabloids, could have any woman on the planet.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks, breaking the silence.
“You,” I admit.
She turns her head to me. “Seriously, what are you thinking about?”
I lean my head toward hers, our foreheads nearly touching. “Do you really think we could never work?”
Her eyes widen just a little. “I—I don’t know,” she stammers. “It’s just…it seems so complicated and…we just met a few days ago. It feels rushed. I…” She trails off and I wait for her to collect her thoughts. “If I’m going to get into another relationship, then I want to make sure it’s right.” She pauses again and searches my eyes. “I’m scared,” she whispers, and I see tears glisten in her eyes.
“Me too. But I know you feel it. I don’t want to miss what could be the best decision of my life because I’m scared. I want to jump over this cliff with you and hope we land in the water,” I try my best to explain.
“But what if we fall to our deaths,” she replies.
“Then we tried,” I state.
She looks back up at the stars. “Why does it feel like I’ve known you forever?”
I squeeze her hand and she squeezes back. “I don’t know, but I feel the same.”
“That you’ve known yourself forever,” she teases.
I bump her shoulder with mine and she giggles. “You know what I mean, smartass,” I quip.
“I know,” she says, her voice softening. “Tell me something good about your childhood. You’ve only really shared the shitty parts, aside from that goat story.”
I laugh. “I suppose I have.” I think back to that time. Just like anyone’s life, there were good moments interspersed with the bad ones.
“My grandfather loved ice cream. Every Monday afternoon, we’d walk down to this local ice cream stand, well, at least when it was open. And we’d buy triple-scoop cones and sit and eat them. I usually ended up wearing half of mine, but it was our thing, and I will always be happy that I got that time with him. He was a good man,” I say, smiling at the childhood memory as I see it in my mind. I pause.
“Are they…” She trails off.
“He died a few years ago. And my grandmother is in a care home for dementia patients,” I explain.
“I’m sorry,” she says. I squeeze her hand.
“What about you?” I ask, wanting to change the subject.
“Hmmmm. Well, I had a pretty average childhood, I suppose. My family used to go visit my grandparents at their lake house every year. That was fun. And we’d go to the beach and stay with my parents’ friends.” She laughs.
“What?” I ask.
“Their friends had four kids, so the kids way outnumbered the adults. One year we talked them into letting us set up a mini-golf course in the house…it did not go well,” she says.
“Oh?”
“Yep, let’s just say their house was down about three framed pictures, a vase, and two wineglasses afterward,” she adds with a chuckle.
“That sounds fun,” I say.
She lets out a long breath. “It was.”
“Do Cal and Lizzie get in trouble a lot?” I ask.
“No. They really are good kids. Lizzie can be a bit of a spitfire, but she means well. Cal is just the protector, always has been. I’m a pretty lucky mom,” she says with a smile, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes.
“What?” I prod.
She shrugs. “I always wanted three, just like Casey, Henley, and me.”
“It’s not too late,” I add.
She rolls her eyes. “I’m in my late thirties. I’m not dating…” She pauses realizing that I’m offering her a relationship. I can feel her shutting down as she continues. “Anyhow, I’m happy with my two little minions. They are great.”
I nod. “They are. I enjoyed getting to know them.”
“We should probably go to sleep. Big day tomorrow,” she says. “I mean, maybe,” she adds.
“Yeah…right,” I reply.
“Goodnight, Tate,” she whispers before leaning over and kissing my cheek. Then she turns and lies with her back to me. I stare at her hair for a long time after her breaths give way to cute little snores. I want her. I want to live in her life, be with her kids, hell, even Mark seems cool. I like her nosy neighbors and her family seems amazing. She has the life I want.
I frown. Do I just love her life? I contemplate that as I roll over and look back up at the stars. No. It’s more than that. I love how her eyes light up when she tells a story. I love the way she sings along to every song whether it’s rap or pop or country. I love that she’s smart, funny, and kind. I love the little wrinkle she gets in the middle of her forehead when she’s deep in thought. Fuck. I love Sophia Walsh.