Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Sophia
I wake to hushed voices outside the tent. Rolling over, I realize that one of those voices is most definitely Tate because he’s not in here.
I rub my eyes, trying to replay the events of yesterday in my mind. Holy moly! Did that all happen? Yes, yes, it did. I let Tate fuck me with his fingers and then he told me he was falling for me. Then, I turned him down, sort of. Did I really do that? Is he really not getting back together with Lacey? No, that’s crazy…or is it?
I step out of the tent. The four men I’ve come to adore sit around a campfire which has to have been made with the few dry logs still in my car because everything out here seems like it’s still damp.
“It’s over, Jordan. She’s not the one. I’m calling it all off,” Tate says and then stops as he looks up to see me watching them. The remaining three sets of eyes turn to look at me, and I blush.
“Good morning, gentlemen,” I say as I pull a hoodie around me.
“Morning,” they say in unison.
“We got coffee,” Rex offers as he holds up a cup.
I nod enthusiastically and come sit down on a log by him. He pours me a cup and I sip it. It’s not the best, but it will have to do.
“Good?” he asks.
“Dude, the coffee is shit and you know it,” Penn says.
Rex smirks. “It could be worse. Remember that one set caterer,” he says.
Penn laughs. “How could I forget? I was sick for days.”
“That sounds memorable,” I murmur before taking another sip purely for the caffeine.
“Oh, it was,” Rex adds.
“Sooo…” Jordan pipes up as he surveys us. “Tate tells us he’s calling off our mission.”
I swallow and look over at Tate who is watching me. I feel my cheeks heat again. “Is that so?”
Tate nods. “If I’m not in love with her, I’m not going to go chasing after her. I’d only do that for a woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and that woman isn’t Lacey.”
Tate’s looking at me as though he can see into my soul and I quickly glance away before his three friends can see that I want nothing more than to be the woman he chases after, even though my brain is telling me that it can’t work, Tate and I are too different.
“We should get packed up,” Penn states. “I mean, either we’re heading up to Montana or we’re heading home.”
“Not Montana,” Tate states, giving him a look that I can’t quite decipher.
Penn puts up his hands. “OK, cool, cool. Not Montana.”
Rex holds up his cell phone. “Can we go somewhere with service?”
Jordan laughs. “I sort of like it. We went from off the grid to off the grid .”
We all laugh at that.
“Well, I’m glad we didn’t officially book any of that ‘grand gesture’ stuff yet,” Rex says as he looks at Tate. “I’ll help load the car. Tate, since you helped set up that big tent, can you take it apart?” he adds.
Tate nods.
I look around feeling a little helpless. None of these men need me to do a damn thing.
“Come for a walk with me? There’s supposed to be a rocky cliff over that way, and I want to get a look before we leave,” Jordan says as he links his arm with mine. “I could use the company.”
“OK,” I reply as I follow him to a cleared path near where we parked. We walk in silence for a few yards but then he looks at me.
“Do you like him?” Jordan asks.
My step falters and I nearly trip on a rock. “I—I w-what?” I stammer.
“Tate. Do you like him?” he reiterates.
“I…uh…I mean, Tate’s a great guy,” I answer, trying to skirt my true feelings.
Jordan gives me a pointed look.
I sigh. “Fine. Yes. He’s charming and funny and kind. And attractive, you all are. So big deal. I like Tate Anders. But, like, so does every woman who likes men. I mean, so what?” I stumble over my words as I throw my hands up in the air.
Jordan gives me another knowing look. “Well, Tate doesn’t like every woman.”
“We’re friends,” I say.
His knowing look comes right back.
“We are,” I insist and look away because I know I’m blushing.
“I think we both know you have something more than a friendship happening,” Jordan states.
Sighing, I look back at him. “It can’t turn into anything, Jordan.”
“Why not?” he asks as we continue on our way.
“Because we live two different lives. He’s filming movies all over the world. He has to be in LA all the time. I live on the East Coast with two kids. How can that work?” I ask.
“It’d be hard, but I bet you could find a way,” Jordan states.
“Yes, but is it possible to do forever?” I question.
He shrugs. “I make it work with my wife,” he points out.
“She’s an actress. That’s a little different,” I counter as we start climbing boulders.
“No falling this time, M,” he teases me as we come out of the clearing to find the sun rising over a valley below us.
“Damn,” I murmur as I take in the natural beauty.
“It’s beautiful,” he says, and it makes me think of Tate saying that about the stars last night. Fuck. What am I doing? I should have been helping him plan his grand gesture, and instead, I’m making out with him in the rain. This is all so messed up! This week went from crazy to crazier. Part of me wishes he never read my book. Then he could be living his best movie-star life and I’d be none the wiser.
“I messed this all up,” I mutter.
“No, you didn’t,” Jordan says.
I look at him. “What if someone came between you and Alisha?”
He gives me a stern look. “No one would dare do that.”
I grin. “Damn, Jordan! I didn’t know you’d go all alpha over my statement. It’s kind of hot.”
He narrows his eyes. “I love her, and I would do anything for her.”
“Clearly,” I say, enunciating each syllable. “Glad we confirmed that.”
He grunts his agreement. “Thanks for reminding me though. I need to do more to show her that.”
“Good. Do it. She seems like a nice woman, and she deserves to be showered with affection and gifts,” I say, figuring it can’t hurt to plug that for another woman.
“Noted,” he grumbles. “Don’t give up so easy. He’s worth fighting for.”
I swallow. I know it, but I just can’t imagine going through another breakup. It’s easier to hide behind my romance novels where it’s safe and no man actually ever hurts me because there’s always a happily ever after.
“Please promise you’ll consider putting yourself out there,” he says as if reading my mind.
“I have…and…I just can’t,” I say as I turn and start back down the rocks to the trail.
Jordan follows me and we walk in silence for the next quarter mile to the campsite. I want to tell him that I’m confused and scared, but then he might talk me out of what I’m about to do.
The car is packed by the time we get back. Tate is closing the back. He brushes his hands together.
“All set,” he says.
Penn and Rex look from Tate to me. Shit. Does everyone know? Penn winks at me and I sigh. Fuck. Everyone knows.
“Why don’t you guys just drop me at an airport? I can fly back,” I say.
Penn frowns. “What? No way. It’s your car.”
“This is all messed up and I feel like it’s my fault,” I mutter as I tighten my ponytail.
“It’s not your fault. I should have stopped this crazy trip before it started,” Tate says as he steps toward me.
“No. You would be up in Montana now if it wasn’t for me tagging along,” I reply as I throw my hands up in frustration.
Tate takes another step toward me. We’re less than a foot apart now and I can feel the heat radiating off him.
“That’s not true. I think I knew from the first mile of this trip that I was never going to get back with Lacey. Meeting you or not wouldn’t have changed that,” he says.
I look away because if I keep locking gazes with him, I’m going to cry and I don’t want to cry right now. God, what is wrong with me? I’m acting like a hormonal teenager.
Tate places a hand on my shoulder. “Please come back with us. We’ll find somewhere nearby today. And then we can be back in forty-eight hours. We don’t need to stop so much, but I think none of us slept great last night.”
“Speak for yourself. The car was fantastic,” Rex interjects.
Tate’s gaze goes to him, and he glares. “Not helpful,” Tate grumbles. Rex shrugs.
“Please come back with us,” Tate pleads.