Chapter 11 Sarah
SARAH
It was official.
I was one hundred per cent not cut out for writing a novel.
Now I realised that I was stupid to assume that just because I read hundreds of romance novels a year, that somehow automatically qualified me to write my own.
Sunday was my day off, so I’d planned to dedicate it to writing. And ever since I’d woken up, I’d been trying, but the words just weren’t coming.
First, I thought I was hungry, so as the library’s café, Love now it flashed up again, and I quickly pushed it out of my mind.
I shook my head with disgust, sat at my desk, and picked up my phone.
‘Hi, sis,’ Adrian answered flatly. He didn’t seem his normal chirpy self. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m a lot better than you sound. What’s up?’
‘N-nothing. I have news.’
‘You’re not sick, are you?’ I jumped out of my seat.
‘No, no. I’m getting married.’
‘Oh, wow! Congratulations!’ I said.
His girlfriend, oops, fiancée, Debbie, was nice. We got on and most importantly, she treated my brother well and seemed like a good person, so I was happy for him.
‘Thanks.’
‘This is a good thing, though, right?’
‘Of course!’
‘So why do you sound like you’ve just been sentenced to the electric chair?’
‘There’s just… a lot to organise. Quickly.’
‘Why? When are you getting married?’
‘Next month.’
‘Next month!’ I shouted, grateful that there was still fifteen minutes before the library opened—otherwise our members would’ve heard me from the library. ‘What’s the rush? Has Debbie got a bun in the oven?’
‘All you need to know is that we have to get married next month. If we wait too long, she won’t fit into her wedding dress…’ He paused.
So much to process. First my brother tells me he’s getting married next month and then he hints that he’s about to become a dad.
Both sounded like amazing pieces of news, but he didn’t sound excited, which was weird.
Reading between the lines, I knew it must be early days for the pregnancy, so I respected that he preferred not to talk about it and I wouldn’t probe him. When they were ready to share the news, they would.
As well as those two bombshells and the short notice wedding date, I was also surprised about the dress.
‘So Debbie bought her dress before you set the date? And I didn’t even know you’d proposed!’
‘Yeah, she said she saw it in a shop window a year ago and just had to have it. And getting married has always been on the cards, so…’
‘How will you even get it done in time?’
‘Debs already had an idea of what she wanted. And when she found out that the venue she had in mind for the wedding reception had a cancellation, it all kind of just fell into place. That’s another reason why we have to do it next month, because they’re booked up for the next two years otherwise.’
‘Oh, wow. Is it going to be at a fancy hotel in Birmingham?’
I knew it couldn’t be anywhere near our crappy town because the only venue that’d be remotely suitable for a wedding reception was the community centre, and it was so run-down, there wouldn’t even be a two-minute waiting list to host an event there, never mind a two-year one.
‘Actually, it’s going to be in Spain.’
‘Spain!’ I shouted again. At this rate I was going to lose my voice.
‘Yeah, near Marbella. Like I said, it’s Debs’s dream, so…’
‘Well, at least I’ll get a holiday out of it too! It’ll be fun.’
If I was honest, I was at the stage where weddings could be a little triggering. Not just because I’d hoped that one day I’d get hitched to my ex (but now I realised I’d had a lucky escape). But mainly because they made me feel like I was being left behind.
It felt like everyone I knew was getting married or settling down and here I was, thirty years old, single with no romantic prospects on the horizon.
I knew that didn’t bother a lot of people, but because I literally spent my days reading about people falling in love, somehow it stung a little more.
There was nothing wrong with being single, of course.
But equally there was nothing wrong with wanting to experience that giddy feeling of falling in love.
Of having someone to share your life with.
A partner in crime to travel the world and have exciting adventures with.
Someone to curl up on the sofa and talk to at the end of a long day at work.
As well as being kind, caring and considerate, my ideal man would obviously love books. Even if romance wasn’t his jam, he’d still respect the genre (unlike some idiots I could mention—ahem, Ben).
And ideally, as Taylor Swift said in ‘Wi$h Li$t’, I’d also love a best friend who was hot.
But not so fit that women were falling at his feet.
I was way too insecure for that. What was I even saying?
It wasn’t like I looked like Rihanna and had gorgeous men falling at my feet, so that point was irrelevant.
Anyway, forget thinking about men. I was in Sunshine Bay to focus on the library and helping Jess and the team to make it a success.
And how had my mind even taken me on this tangent?
Oh yeah, because I was thinking about how much weddings reminded me of the sad state of my own love life.
This wasn’t about me, though. My amazing brother was getting married, so I was happy for him. I’d do whatever I could to make sure he had a fantastic day that he’d remember for a lifetime.
‘Yeah…’ Adrian said, and I sensed some tension in his voice. ‘I’m glad that you’re thinking positively about it. So that was, er, the first thing I wanted to tell you. Y’know, about the fact that we’re getting married in Spain. But the other thing is that, er, the wedding will—’
‘What’s wrong?’ I frowned, sitting back in my seat. I had no idea why he was stuttering so much. Normally he was so confident.
‘The thing is, there’ll, er… there’ll also be two people at the wedding that you might not be happy about.’
‘No!’ I screamed, flying out of my seat again. ‘Please don’t tell me you invited them. No!’ My heart raced and my pulse spiked.
‘I’m so sorry, sis, but I had no choice,’ he said solemnly, and the reason he sounded so downbeat about everything became clear. He wasn’t sad about getting married or potentially becoming a dad. He knew how badly I’d take this news and was psyching himself up to break it to me. ‘They’re family.’
‘They’re arseholes!’
‘You’re not wrong. I don’t approve of what they did, and if it was just up to me, you know I wouldn’t have them there, but…’
‘I can’t deal with this right now,’ I said as tears pooled in my eyes. Shit. I couldn’t start crying. Not now. ‘I’m at work. I’ve gotta go.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Adrian said. ‘Truly. You’ll still come, though, won’t you? I need you.’
‘Course,’ I said, choking back the tears that, despite my best efforts to stave them off, had already started falling. ‘I’ve gotta go,’ I repeated, then hung up.
I dropped the phone on the desk, buried my head in my hands and continued sobbing.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
It was hard enough dealing with their betrayal. Relieving the memories that had played over and over again in my head for months during the darkest times and still haunted me today.
I’d only recently got over it.
I’d successfully avoided them because I knew it’d set me off.
But now I had to go to a wedding and they’d both be there.
I’d have to sit there and watch them rub their relationship in my face and smile whilst my insides were crumbling.
It was too much.
The tears were now in full flow and a loud sob slipped out. I couldn’t help it.
‘Sarah?’ A deep voice called my name.
When I realised it was Ben, I groaned inside.
As if this day couldn’t get any worse, the cocky co-worker I couldn’t stand had to walk into the office at the exact time I was crying my eyes out like a baby.
Life really was so unfair.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.
His delicious masculine scent wafted through the air, assaulting my senses. He always smelt so good.
I daren’t look up to see how close he was. There was no way I wanted him to see the state of my face. My cheeks would clearly be streaked with tears, and I probably had panda eyes because my mascara wasn’t waterproof.
Great.
The screeching sound of a chair being dragged across the floor echoed in the office, then stopped next to me.
Shit. Now he was sitting beside me. I wished that I could press a button to make the floor open beneath me and swallow me up. This was so embarrassing.
‘What’s happened?’
‘Please just leave,’ I pleaded.
‘Sorry, but no,’ he growled. ‘You’re crying, and although we don’t know each other well, I get the feeling that you wouldn’t do that unless something was really wrong. So respectfully, I’m not going to leave until I know you’re okay.’
‘Well, you’ll be waiting a long time!’ I blubbered, still covering my face with my hands. ‘The wedding’s not until next month. Then again, I’d rather get it over and done with so I never have to see them again. Bastards!’
‘Whoa…’ Ben said. ‘Forgive me, but I’m not following. Who’s getting married? I’m guessing you’re not talking about Theo and Jess. Not least because I’d know if they’d set a date. And you’d never call them bastards.’
‘Course not,’ I sobbed again. ‘It’s my brother who’s getting married.’
‘And you hate your brother and his fiancée?’ Confusion flooded his voice.
I shouldn’t be surprised. He’d just walked into the office and found a blubbering mess who was talking in riddles.
As well as being confused, Ben also sounded genuinely concerned. And I was kind of suffocating trying to speak with my hands covering my face so I lifted my head from my palms and wiped my eyes.
If how I looked terrified Ben, that was his problem, not mine. I had bigger things to worry about.
‘No,’ I started to explain. ‘I love my brother, that’s the problem. If I didn’t think he was amazing, there’s no way I’d even consider going to the wedding. It’s two people that are also going who are the bastards.’
‘Okay. That clears that part up, but I’ve still got no idea who the bastards are or why they’re bastards, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to spell it out for me. Who are they?’
‘My ex and my sister.’
‘Right. I can understand why you would hate your ex, but why would you hate your sister?’
‘Because she betrayed me.’
‘How?’ He frowned.
‘By sleeping with him.’