Chapter 66 Sarah
SARAH
‘Er, guys, I hate to break up the party, but the library’s opening in about twenty minutes, so you might want to leave.’ A deep voice vibrated around the library hall.
At first I thought I was dreaming.
Then I realised that I recognised that voice.
And it wasn’t Ben’s.
It was Jackson’s.
Shit!
I bolted upright and saw Jackson standing at the library doors with his back to us.
After I’d checked that I didn’t have my naked arse hanging out of the inflatable bed (thank God it was covered with a blanket), I shook Ben’s shoulder.
‘Wake up! Jackson’s here! We’ve overslept!’
He stirred, then opened his eyes slowly.
What I’d said must’ve suddenly registered because seconds later his pupils popped out of their sockets and Ben leapt out of the bed with everything on show.
Oh my…
I bit my lip, then scolded myself. Now wasn’t the time to be admiring his morning wood. Jackson was less than fifty feet away and for all I knew Jane might not be far behind.
First, I had to cover Ben up.
I attempted to shield his meat and two veg with my hands, but they weren’t big enough. After scanning the floor, I found his boxers and handed them to him.
Where the hell are my knickers?
As I looked at the carnage we’d created, I winced.
There were condom wrappers, an empty pizza box and champagne bottle, our discarded clothes, dirty glasses and a plastic bag with the used condoms and tissues.
And Jackson had seen it all.
Still, I suppose it could’ve been worse.
He or our members could’ve seen us naked.
Yikes.
‘Sorry!’ I called out. ‘We overslept. We’ll get everything cleaned up straight away.’
‘I’ll leave you to it!’ Jackson chuckled before walking out of the hall so we could get dressed.
Once he was sure we were decent, Jackson returned clutching a steam cleaner that I didn’t even know existed and handed it to us.
Something told me he’d used it in here before…
Whilst I threw everything away, deflated the bed and stashed it under my office desk, Ben steam-cleaned the area we’d used, just in case.
Thankfully we managed to get everything done with two minutes to spare, then whilst Jackson opened up, we hot-footed it upstairs to Ben’s flat.
There was so much to do today to prepare for tomorrow’s wedding, so it really wasn’t ideal that we’d slept through our alarms, but I had no regrets.
Once we’d showered, we sat on the bed in our towels.
‘That was close!’ I said.
‘Too close.’ Ben winced. ‘But totally worth it.’ He held my gaze. ‘Although it was rather irresponsible.’
‘I know! We could’ve been caught by some members.’
‘Not just because of that. But because we were supposed to talk.’ His face fell.
‘You’re leaving,’ I jumped in. There was no point beating about the bush. I just wanted to get this crappy conversation over and done with. Yanking off the plaster would be less painful than dancing around the giant elephant in the room.
‘Yes.’ He hung his head. Even though I knew this was coming, my stomach still bottomed out and my throat went dry.
‘The flat is paid up until the end of the month, so once Theo’s back from his honeymoon, I’ll suggest that you move in.
You’re already comfortable here, so it makes sense.
Jane and Jackson are taking the flat next door, so you’ll have good people around you. ’
‘Thanks, but I don’t care about the flat. Do you really have to leave?’ I choked the words out.
‘Yes,’ Ben said softly. ‘That was always the plan, remember?’
‘I know.’ I swallowed hard. ‘But I thought that… maybe…’
‘It’s for the best,’ Ben jumped in, then his gaze dropped to the floor. ‘I’ll be leaving straight after the wedding.’
My eyes bulged and a sharp pain shot straight to my gut.
I knew that I shouldn’t be shocked because, like he’d said, it was what we’d agreed and I’d sensed last night that this was what he was going to say. But I thought he’d wait until after the honeymoon. And we’d said this was temporary a lifetime ago. So much had changed since then, hadn’t it?
We agreed to that before we’d spent so much time together—reading, cooking, relaxing and talking.
Before we knew that we had an intense connection that went beyond the physical.
Before he said he believed in me.
I’d thought him making the desk was a sign of commitment. That things were serious between us. But now I realised that it was a parting gift.
My mind whirred like an overheating laptop.
‘Where will you go?’
I doubted he’d go back to California given what had happened, so where else could he go that would be better than here?
Sunshine Bay was stunning and it had the library, Theo and me.
I was here.
Maybe I wasn’t enough for him to stay after all.
‘I’m going travelling with Tom. It’s been a while since we’ve spent time together. He’s jealous that Theo’s had me to himself for so long.’ He flashed a half smile.
‘Right.’ I nodded solemnly.
The room fell silent.
I didn’t know what to say.
There was no point in telling him now that I wanted him to stay. Not when he’d already made his mind up that he was going.
‘Everything’s under control for the wedding prep, right?’ Ben asked.
‘Yeah.’
‘Is there anything else you need me to help with today? Perhaps we should film a final social media video to round off the series?’
God, I’d forgotten about that.
All the videos we’d made had been a huge hit and I’d had it on my list to speak to Ben about doing more, but the social media focus these past few weeks was on the readers’ retreat and the book bar.
‘That’d be good. Thanks,’ I mumbled, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. I couldn’t cry.
Ben was clear and honest from the start. We’d had an agreement and he’d stuck to it. Well, no. Neither of us had. The lines were blurred ages ago. But the point was, we said this was temporary, so I couldn’t start balling because he was leaving, when that was his intention all along.
‘I… actually, I need to get a change of clothes. It’s a busy day today, so I’d better head back to the B&B and get ready for work.’ I jumped off the bed.
‘But you have clothes here.’ Ben’s face creased with concern.
‘Yeah, but I need something more comfortable,’ I lied as I hurriedly pulled my dress over my head. ‘I’d better go.’
‘Sarah?’ Ben called out as I rushed towards the door, desperate to leave before he saw the tears that were already streaming down my cheeks.
Once I was outside in the cool air, I started running.
And I didn’t stop until I was safely locked away in my room at the B&B.