27. Jason Kingsley
Chapter twenty-seven
Jason Kingsley
I spin a football in my hands before throwing it up in the air and catching it. I’m not usually an anxious person, but tonight is getting to me. This is the first big party I’m going to after marrying Willow. The last one I went to was the catalyst for this whole situation we’re in. I wouldn’t be worried if I didn’t know that some of the guys I used to hang out with before I was traded to the Lions will be there.
I thought about refusing to go, but it’s a birthday party for one of the new guys on our offensive line, Aiden, who was traded to us last week. It wouldn’t look good if I didn’t show up. If he thought I didn’t want him on our team, it could disrupt the harmony of the line and even cost us a game.
“Sorry it took me so long, I couldn’t find my black stilettos. I’m still figuring out how to share a closet,” Willow says from behind me with a laugh.
I catch the ball once more, then turn to face her. The ball slips from my hands at the sight of her, bouncing awkwardly on the hardwood floor. She’s… everything . Her hair is down in luscious chocolate waves that shine in the light. She’s wearing a black dress with a square neckline that exposes her collarbones and sheer black tights with heels that make her legs look even longer than usual.
“Jase?” She draws my attention to her mouth. Even from a few feet away, her lips are mesmerizing, painted in a deep berry color. “Are you okay?”
“More than okay,” I rasp. “Just caught off guard by how beautiful my wife is.”
She ducks her head, fighting a smile. “You made it all week without being an incorrigible flirt. Don’t ruin your streak now.”
I chuckle as I make my way over to her, picking up the ball and throwing it on the couch as I pass it.
“The only reason I made it so long is that I barely saw you all week. And you should know that’s only caused my admiration for you to build up like water against a dam. Seeing you in this dress has caused that dam to crumble. Prepare for me to be insufferable.”
She lets out a breathy laugh. “I don’t know how to handle you when you’re like this.”
“You could try complimenting me back,” I say with a cheeky grin.
She hits my shoulder. “You’ll be attending this party alone if you keep this up.”
“You’d deprive everyone of seeing you in this dress?” I tilt my head, protectiveness flaring up within me. “On second thought, why don’t you stay home. I might end up in a fight if you go out like this.”
Her eyes roll so hard it’s a wonder they don’t get stuck.
“Now I know you’re being facetious. Let’s go, before we’re late.”
I smile and shake my head. I meant every word, but she doesn’t believe me. Yet , my hope-fueled heart adds. She doesn’t believe me yet . One day when I say these things, she’ll know that while I may be teasing her, I’m also telling the truth. She’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. The kind of woman that brings a man to his knees, or makes him drop a football.
She turns around and I catch sight of the black pinstripe decorating her tights. The thin line goes from her ankle all the way up her leg before disappearing beneath the skirt of her dress. Is she trying to kill me? I might actually end up on my knees at this rate.
I want to go home. Badly. I used to love parties, but the people, the drinking, the loudness–it’s exhausting. I’ve already given Aiden his gift–a custom gold belt buckle with his new jersey number because he’s always wearing them–and sang along to a terrible rendition of “Happy Birthday”. It’s too early to leave without looking like I don’t want to be here, though. And unlike my friend, Emmett, I still care what people think of me.
I pull out my phone at the thought of Emmett and send a text to my group chat with the guys. It’s been a while since we’ve talked. I haven’t had much time for gaming lately.
Jason: I think marriage has turned me into a hermit. I don’t want to be at this party at all.
After I send the message, I scan the party for Willow. Another reason I’ve been on the grumpy side is because almost as soon as we got here, a few of the wives stole Willow away to talk. I spy her in the same group of women, smiling and laughing. At least she’s enjoying herself.
My phone buzzes.
Shaw: I know the feeling, man. I’d rather be home with Sutton than at a party any day of the week.
Miles: Same here.
Brock: Please don’t talk about being home with my sister. I’m nauseous enough without that image in my mind.
Shaw: I didn’t say anything. And are you sick? Why are you nauseous?
Brock: According to the doctor, I’ve got the flu or something. I’m fine, though. If you tell Sutton or my mom I’ll kill you.
Shaw: Too late. She was reading over my shoulder.
Brock: Great.
Miles: You should let people take care of you, man. It’s not so bad.
Emmett: I’m trying to put June to bed and you’re blowing my phone up with nonsense.
I chuckle at Emmett’s gruff nature. If he really hated us messaging him, he’d leave the chat.
Shaw: Sutton says to tell June goodnight and that she loves her.
Jason: Tell her Uncle Jason is going to come and we can get unicorn cotton candy again soon.
Emmett: She said she loves Sutton too. I’m not mentioning the cotton candy. She won’t ever sleep if I say that.
I smile. I need to go visit them again soon. Willow would love sweet little June, and vice versa.
“Are you going to be on your phone all night? That isn’t the King I know,” a familiar voice says before a hand slaps my back.
I look up to find Harvey, one of the guys I used to go to clubs and parties with, grinning at me. I muster up a smile in return and slide my phone in my pocket. For the first time tonight, I’m glad Willow isn’t by my side. I don’t want her meeting this part of my past in person. All of our progress would likely be lost.
“It’s good to see you man,” I lie. Harvey isn’t a bad guy, but he also hasn’t given up his reckless ways. I don’t want to be seen with him and have anyone think I’m the same as I was before.
“It’s been too long,” Harvey says before taking a slug of his beer. No doubt he’s already had plenty tonight. “But I see you’re a married man now. Who would have thought you’d marry some chick you met at a party?”
My brows furrow. “What are you talking about? We met when she started working for the Lions.”
He laughs, shoving my shoulder. “Man, I know you’re telling everyone that cute little story. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Though it was hilarious the way you came over waving her number on a napkin like some kind of flag. That was the one night you out-drank me. Maybe if I drink a little more I’ll find a wife tonight.” He tips back his beer and guzzles it down.
My stomach drops. He has no reason to lie to me. Though he could be remembering wrong, something in my gut says he’s not. I look over at Willow, combing through memories for clues.
You don’t remember me. She’d said that at Jamal’s party, hadn’t she? I didn’t understand at the time, but now all the puzzle pieces are falling into place, and the picture they’re forming makes me sick. I tear my eyes away from my wife. Bile rises in my throat. How can I even think of her as my wife after I forgot the first time we met? Of course she hated me. I’d thought there was hope for her liking me, but how could she after I slighted her?
She saw the past me I’ve been trying to protect her from. If I thought I didn’t deserve her before, I know for sure I don’t now. I rake a hand through my hair, feeling like my heart is being put through a wood chipper.
“I need to get some air. I’ll see you around,” I mumble to Harvey before pushing my way through the throng of people and out onto the porch of Aiden’s ridiculous mansion. Willow had laughed when we pulled up, saying this is what she imagined my house to be like. That would have fit the picture she has of me.
I fight the urge to slam my fist against the wall. I lean on the porch railing, gripping the iron banister until my knuckles turn white.
“Jase?” Willow’s soft voice makes me hang my head in shame. “Are you all right? I saw you rush out here.”
I debate telling her I’m fine, or lying and saying I’m ill, but I don’t want this to be hidden between us any longer.
“I know the real story of how we first met.” My words hang in the night air, burning hot like the stars above us.
“What made you remember?” she asks, sounding nervous.
I let out a bitter laugh. “Nothing. Harvey told me he was there. He remembered, but not me. That whole night was a blur. I drank myself into oblivion after a phone call with my parents. He said I had your number, but I must have lost it.”
One thing I do recall after Harvey’s reminder is that we’d just won a big game that week. I’d thrown a touchdown in the last minute of the game for the win. When I called my parents, they said they’d missed it. They were at a winery in California and forgot I was playing that night. I’d started drinking after that and didn’t stop until I passed out. I was a pathetic fool.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Willow’s voice is small. “I-I should have said something sooner. I was so angry when I started working for the Lions, and then it just felt like I couldn’t tell you.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” My hands begin to hurt from gripping the rail too tight. I deserve the pain though. I deserve more than this.
“You shouldn’t have found out this way. I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“I shouldn’t have found out this way because I should have remembered . I don’t know how you can stand to be around me, much less share my name.”
My eyes burn with sadness. All the work I’d done to climb out of my mess means nothing if Willow sees me as who I was back then. And how could she not? No amount of candy or gestures could change her mind. If it hadn't been for her needing to stay in the country, she’d still be arguing with me and pushing me away, and I don’t blame her one bit.
A soft hand rests in between my shoulder blades. I step away from her touch. She’s comforting me because she has a kind heart, but I’m not worthy of her kindness.
“I’d like to go home. I can arrange a car for you if you want to stay,” I say, trying to keep my tone even.
“I’ll come with you,” she says quietly.
I nod once, then walk to my car. The drive home is silent, but inside I’m screaming.
Why can’t I escape my past?